Am I The Toxic One In The Relationship Quiz

Erin McCole Cupp
Verified Marriage & Family Therapist Reviewed By
Erin McCole Cupp, LPCC
Erin McCole Cupp
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Verified Marriage & Family Therapist Review Board Member

Erin McCole Cupp, CTRC, brings a unique blend of trauma recovery coaching and extensive experience in addiction recovery, particularly in the areas of compulsive eating and... Read More

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20 Questions | Total Attempts: 42114 | Updated: Dec 08, 2024
Am I the Toxic One in the Relationship Quiz

Relationships can be complex and challenging, requiring effort and understanding from both partners. Sometimes, we might wonder if our actions or behaviors are negatively impacting the relationship. Do you often find yourself questioning whether you might be the toxic one in the dynamic?

If you feel uncertain about your contributions or worry that you may be bringing your partner down, you’re not alone. This 'Am I the toxic one in the relationship' quiz is designed to help you reflect on your behaviors and provide clarity about your role in the relationship.

Questions Excerpt

1. Which of the following behaviors happens the most in your relationship?

A. Communicating openly and listening actively

B. Apologizing when necessary

C. Fighting without ever resolving the conflict

D. Frequently criticizing, belittling, or controlling my partner

2. How do you express your needs in the relationship?

A. I openly communicate my needs and encourage my partner to do the same

B. I share my needs occasionally but avoid deeper conversations about them

C. I find it difficult to express my needs and hope my partner figures them out

D. I focus more on what I want without considering my partner's needs

3. How do you handle your partner’s emotions when they are feeling down?

A. I offer support and help them talk through their feelings

B. I try to be there, but I sometimes struggle to know how to help

C. I may listen for a while, but I often get tired of it quickly

D. I tend to dismiss their emotions as an overreaction

4. How do you react when your partner spends time with their friends without you?

A. I encourage them to enjoy time with friends, trusting them fully

B. I feel a bit uneasy but know it's healthy for them to have space

C. I sometimes feel neglected and want them to spend more time with me

D. I feel jealous and question why they need to spend time with others

5. How do you feel when your partner expresses dissatisfaction with the relationship?

A. I take their concerns seriously and work on improving things together

B. I acknowledge their feelings but may not always know how to address them

C. I feel frustrated and sometimes ignore their concerns

D. I get angry and dismiss their complaints as invalid

6. How do you handle conflicts with your partner?

A. I calmly discuss the issue until we reach a resolution

B. I try to listen but sometimes I get defensive

C. I tend to avoid the conflict and hope it resolves itself

D. I usually blame my partner and escalate the argument

7. What role does self-awareness play in determining if you're toxic in a relationship?

A. Self-awareness helps a relationship by allowing me to recognize and take responsibility for my actions. I actively reflect on my behavior and make changes when I see that it’s affecting my partner negatively

B. Self-awareness helps a relationship by making me aware of my actions, though I don’t always realize the impact right away. I’m open to making changes if I see it’s causing issues

C. Self-awareness helps a relationship by pointing out problems, but I rarely think my behavior is the cause. I usually don’t feel a need to change unless my partner insists

D. Self-awareness helps a relationship by showing me that the real issues come from my partner’s behavior, not mine. I don’t see a reason to change my actions

8. Which action demonstrates a non-toxic approach to disagreements in a relationship?

A. Yelling, blaming, and refusing to listen to your partner's viewpoint

B. Neglecting small gestures like remembering important dates or listening attentively

C. Telling little white lies to keep your partner out of your business

D. Acknowledging your mistakes and discussing potential solutions

9. How do you think your behavior affects your partner and the relationship?

A. By making your partner feel unsupported, insecure, and hurt

B. By leading to misunderstandings and unintentional emotional distance

C. By fostering resentment and pushing your partner away

D. By causing a cycle of control, manipulation, and emotional strain

10. What is a potential sign of toxic behavior in a relationship?

A. Blaming your partner for things within their control

B. Neglecting your partner's emotional needs unintentionally

C. Failing to communicate openly and honestly with your partner

D. Controlling your partner's actions or decisions

11. How often do you begin arguments with your partner?

A. Very often

B. Often

C. Rarely

D. Never

12. Do you build your partner up with compliments?

A. Yes, I regularly compliment my partner

B. Yeah, I give them a compliment every once in a while

C. I don’t intend to, but sometimes they do get an earful of bad things

D. I don’t find anything compliment-worthy about them!

13. How often do you tell your partner that you love them?

A. Very often!

B. Sometimes; a couple of times a week

C. Not really, maybe monthly or whenever I remember

D. What's the need of doing this? They should know I love them.

14. Do you support your partner’s dreams and goals?

A. Yes, their goals are as important as my own

B. Sometimes, but sometimes I get distracted by my own goals

C. Not really; I don’t think their goals are very relevant

D. I can't. I only have time to focus on my goals and dreams.

15. Do you yell or raise your voice at your partner?

A. Very often, I feel like I’m always yelling

B. Often, I feel like I can’t help it

C. Occasionally, I try to not yell usually

D. Never, I don’t think yelling is a good mode of communication

16. Do you engage in intimate moments with your partner?

A. Yes! I can’t keep my hands off them

B. Yeah, we are intimate regularly

C. Occasionally, I tend to postpone sex

D. That's rare. I have a busy lifestyle or I get angry at my partner when they need an occasional break from intimacy

17. Are you often frustrated with your partner or relationship?

A. No! We rarely fight with one another. It's mostly discussions.

B. Sometimes; we fight a couple of times a month

C. Yes, I find myself angry with them regularly

D. All the time! Everything they do makes me mad!

18. Do you listen to your partner’s feelings and concerns?

A. Yes! Their feelings and concerns are important to me

B. Yeah, I listen when they come up but I never ask about them

C. Sometimes, I don’t ask, but they just keep talking about them

D. No, I don’t have time to listen to their nonsense

19. Do you spend time with your partner’s family?

A. Yes, we see their family as much as they want to

B. Sometimes, it is hard to make time for their family

C. Not very often, we see their family less and less

D. Not at all; we do not have time to see their family

20. Do you like spending time with your partner?

A. Yes, I enjoy seeing them every day

B. Yes, but not every day

C. Sometimes, but I prefer my space

D. Never, I prefer to be alone


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