Am I Emotionally Unavailable Quiz

Erin McCole Cupp
Verified Marriage & Family Therapist Reviewed By
Erin McCole Cupp, LPCC
Erin McCole Cupp
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor
Verified Marriage & Family Therapist Review Board Member

Erin McCole Cupp, CTRC, brings a unique blend of trauma recovery coaching and extensive experience in addiction recovery, particularly in the areas of compulsive eating and... Read More

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Marriage.com Editorial Team
Marriage.com Editorial Team
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15 Questions | Total Attempts: 35940 | Updated: Dec 08, 2024
Am I Emotionally Unavailable Quiz

Are you ever accused of being afraid of commitment or intimacy? Do you have a hard time or feel highly uncomfortable sharing your feelings with others? Have you been unable to sustain emotional bonds in your relationships? Do you often ask yourself,” Am I emotionally unavailable?”

Although you may have answered yes to some or all of these questions, it is much more difficult to tell if you are actually emotionally unavailable and even harder to come to terms with this if you indeed are.

Being emotionally unavailable usually stems from vulnerable experiences that are not comfortable for you to work through or even think about. Still, it may be necessary if you hope to overcome it.

To find out if you aren’t connecting emotionally with others, take this quiz today!

Questions Excerpt

1. Are you a person who wears your heart on your sleeve or keeps your emotions bottled up inside?

A. I definitely keep my emotions bottled up because I don’t like expressing my feelings and emotions to others

B. I usually keep them bottled up because I don’t trust people to share those intimate thoughts and feelings with them

C. I am careful about sharing my emotions, but I wouldn't say I keep them bottled up

D. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve

2. How would you rate your self-esteem?

A. I struggle with my self-esteem; it is definitely low

B. It is probably on the lower side as I am very hard on myself

C. I think I have pretty good self-esteem most of the time, but not always

D. I think I have pretty good self-esteem

3. What is something you would most likely do when searching for a potential partner?

A. Find someone who is already in a relationship or unavailable

B. Have a hard time finding someone because I am very picky and critical

C. Find someone who I know I can’t trust from the start, but then date them anyway

D. Go on a few dates until I meet someone worth going out with again

4. Do you tend to be the type of person to look for the good or bad in other people more often?

A. I always tend to find flaws in people

B. I always tend to find reasons not to trust people, even if they gave me no reason to feel that way

C. I try to look for the good, but sometimes I can be picky

D. I tend to look for the good in people, maybe to a fault

5. What type of person are you drawn to most of the time?

A. I usually go after the people I can’t have

B. I usually go after someone who I can’t trust

C. I usually go after someone who has exactly what I am looking for

D. I usually go after whoever I feel a genuine connection with and am naturally drawn to

6. How would you prefer to communicate with a potential partner?

A. Social media

B. Through texts

C. On the phone

D. In-person

7. How do you react when people push you to open up and be vulnerable with your emotions?

A. Usually, I shut down and get very uncomfortable

B. I get anxious because I have a hard time trusting people

C. I will open up more if I feel comfortable doing it

D. I will try to be more mindful of that and more open, so I don’t push them away

8. What situation would you rather have?

A. Have a crush on someone you can’t have or who is unavailable

B. Spend a lot of time getting to know someone before opening up

C. Someone who I have almost constant contact with right from the beginning

D. Dating different people until I find someone who sparks my interest

9. Have you been accused of not picking up on other people’s emotions or not knowing how to react when someone is opening up emotionally to you?

A. Yes, frequently

B. Sometimes

C. Rarely

D. No, never

10. Do you get uncomfortable when someone you are dating tries to engage in a deeper conversation about your feelings and emotions?

A. Yes, every time

B. Frequently

C. Sometimes, but not always

D. Rarely

11. Do you often feel misunderstood?

A. All the time

B. Often

C. Rarely

D. Hardly ever

12. How do you handle conflicts in relationships?

A. I avoid confrontation at all costs

B. I tend to withdraw because I don't trust my partner to listen

C. I try to keep calm and solve the issue diplomatically

D. I try to discuss things openly to resolve the conflict

13. How do you feel about showing affection in public?

A. I feel uncomfortable and avoid it

B. I'm hesitant because I don't want people to get embarrassed

C. I'm okay with small gestures but nothing too much

D. I'm fine with showing affection as long as my partner is comfortable, too

14. How do you cope after a breakup?

A. I shut down and isolate myself

B. I try to distract myself, but it takes time to move on

C. I question my ability to trust anyone again

D. I give myself time to heal and reflect

15. How do you feel about making yourself vulnerable in relationships?

A. I don't like it and avoid opening up

B. I open up slowly when I feel safe

C. I find it hard to trust people, so I avoid vulnerability

D. I believe vulnerability is important for emotional connection


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