How to Grow Individually in a Relationship? 6 Pro Tips

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One of the most beautiful things that can happen to partners in a relationship is when they provide each other with value in different aspects of life. This goal can be achieved when each partner is focused on growing individually.

If you don’t know how to go about it, this article is for you. In this piece, you will learn how to grow individually in a relationship. When you apply some of these tips in your relationship, you will be glad how your union will blossom.

Related Reading: 10 Opportunities for Relationship Growth

What does growing individually in a relationship mean?

The concept of growing individually in a relationship means that you are getting better in all areas of your life. It means that you are not stagnant as an individual, and it even transcends to the relationship. Hence, you will be open to consciously implementing measures to make your life more valuable and productive.

Can you grow as an individual in a relationship?

When people ask can you grow individually in a relationship, the answer to this is affirmative. Your individual growth in a relationship can also spell good for your union. Therefore, it is important to work towards achieving optimal growth in different aspects of your life so that it would positively affect your relationship.

To commence the path to your personal development in your relationship, check out this book by Cathie Barash titled: The Right Relationship Starts with You. With the insights in this book, you will realize how much influence you have in your life. 

How can you heal individually in a relationship – 5 ways

When partners experience something hurtful in their relationship, seeking help for healing is one of the ways they can get better as spouses. To keep growing in a relationship, it is important to learn how to heal from hurtful incidences and move on with your union.

Here are some profound ways how to heal individually in a relationship

1. Identify the root cause of the problem

If you want to know how to grow individually in a relationship, you need to heal the right way. And one of the ways to achieve this is by spotting the root cause of the issue. If you are not ready to identify this, you might not get the healing you crave.

It is important to ponder the nature of the problem and trace where it all started. If you find it hard to do this, it might be difficult to move forward.

It is also crucial for you to work with a counselor or mental health therapist because they are good at uncovering the root cause of any issue.

Alternatively, you can discuss it with a trusted friend, family member, or acquaintance to help you figure it out.

Do you think you have unhealed trauma? Watch this video to know more.

2. Let out your emotions

One of this generation’s anomalies is that letting out your emotions is for the weak. Many people think that you are weak if you are not wearing anything apart from a smile or laughter. However, if you are trying to heal in a relationship, learn to release your emotions instead of bottling them.

When you try to hide from your emotions, you might make things worse. If you want to cry, go ahead and release those tears. Whenever you feel like ranting to anyone, ensure you do it with a trusted individual. Anytime you feel like releasing your emotions, do not hesitate to do it healthily.

3. Practice honest and open communication

If you are not completely honest with your partner, you might not heal in your relationship. When people ask questions like can you grow individually in a relationship, the answer is yes. And it is possible when you are honest with one another.

It is impossible to heal the wounds when you don’t have honest conversations with your partner. If you want to experience relationship growth in this aspect, you can begin by creating regular time to discuss with your partner.

Talk about your preferences and dislikes. Reveal what is bothering you in the relationship. Don’t hide your insecurities, and be careful not to avoid crucial challenges that you are encountering.

Related Reading: Open Communication In a Relationship: How to Make it Work

4. Have a life outside your relationship

One of the reasons people find it hard to heal individually in their relationship is that everything in their life revolves around their relationship. Hence, when they experience difficulties in their union, they find it hard to heal properly.

While you work towards achieving positive relationship growth, ensure that you have a functioning life independent of your relationship. However, be careful to draw strict boundaries so that your other relationships will not affect your romantic life with your spouse.

Going through life can be stressful, but you will get better over time when you draw inspiration and strength from different parties.

5. Create time for self-care

When it comes to growing together in a relationship and also healing individually, you need to practice self-care. This involves setting time aside to care for yourself in different aspects of your life.

You can create some time to meditate and reflect on your life’s journey, or you can go on a solo trip and cut yourself from every source of stress. It is crucial to note that how you take care of yourself determines how you care for others.

If you discover that your emotions are all over the place and you are finding it hard to control them, it is a sign that you need more time for yourself. Creating time for self-care will help you to impact your relationship positively.

In Bill Ferguson’s book titled How to Heal a Painful Relationship, you will learn how to heal from the hurt and restore the love you have with your partner in a relationship.

Related Reading: The 5 Pillars of Self-Care

How you can grow individually in a relationship: 6 pro tips

If you are looking forward to having a successful relationship, consider your personal growth and development. It is important to mention that a relationship will fare better when both parties are invested in their individual growth.

Here are some tips on how to grow individually in a relationship.

1. Know yourself

When you are in love with someone, one of your goals should be growing individually in a relationship. You need to ensure that you do not lose sight of yourself. While you cater to your partner’s needs, you should remember that your personal development needs are also important.

Usually, the best relationships motivate each other to get better in every aspect of their lives. Make sure that you note what is important to you.

Creating a priority list would be a great place to start. Even though your priority might change over time, it is great knowing that you are aware of what you want.

During your relationship with your partner, you might begin to have shared feelings, thoughts processes, interests, likes, and dislikes. Having similar features makes a relationship beautiful, but it can make someone lose their identity.

Therefore, it is important to keep developing your self-identity, likes, dislikes, and personality so that your relationship will continue to thrive.

Also Try: How Well Do You Know Yourself Quiz

2. Learn something new

It is normal for you to get caught up with life and not realize that you are stagnant in some areas. You might be busy paying attention to family, friends, career, and the likes, without noticing that you need some catching up.

Also, you need to create a learning track for yourself where you learn something new in a particular field. This field should be something you are interested in. You can begin by reading a book in that field and watching several free videos.

Then you can opt for paid classes where you would hear seasoned experts speak about your field of interest. You can pay for one-on-one mentorship where you would have close contact with these experts.

If you are deliberate about learning something new, you will become more valuable. And it would positively impact your relationship. When you are keen on how to grow individually in a relationship, your eagerness will rub off on your partner.

3. Prioritize your friendships

One of the mistakes some people make when they enter into a relationship is to abandon their friends. Some of them had forgotten that their friends existed before they met their partners. And if the relationship doesn’t work out as planned, their friends will still be around.

Therefore, if you are looking for how to grow individually in a relationship, you need to remain intentional about your friendships. Your partner might not be able to challenge you in every aspect of life, but you need friends and acquaintances who will keep motivating you to get better.

While you’re prioritizing your friendships, ensure that you keep healthy ones. While growing with your partner, you still need friends who will offer love, care, accountability, and support. They will keep reminding you of your identity, especially when needed the most.

Also, ensure that you create healthy boundaries with your friends so that it doesn’t affect your relationship.

4. Ask for feedback from trusted people

Another important way to grow individually in a relationship is by requesting feedback from people to aid your self-improvement. One of the mistakes we make sometimes is, using our judgment to rate our abilities. We often become biased with this rating because we don’t want to feel bad about ourselves.

Similarly, if you ask your partner, they might also be biased because they don’t want to offend you. When you want to know ways to grow as a person in a relationship, you need honest feedback from those you trust.

Getting honest feedback is quintessential for our growth and development. It makes it easier for us to get better over time. This would be easier to achieve when you have honest relationships with people who would be ready to tell you the truth without mincing words.

It is important to have people we can call a “safe space” while learning how to grow as a person in a relationship.

5. Invest in people

One of the best ways on how to grow individually in a relationship is to invest in people. When you want to invest in people, ensure that you do it without expecting anything. However, you will be surprised to see that your investment in people will pay off over time.

If you expect a mutually beneficial relationship because you are helping someone, you might get disappointed. In addition, your investment in people would be more profound if you were a valuable person.

Therefore, arm yourself with much value so that your investment would be more worthwhile. Additionally, investing in people helps you pay more attention to your relationship needs. As a result, you will be more sensitive to what your partner wants, and you will always want to come through for them.

6. Get a mentor

If you are looking forward on how to grow individually in a relationship, ensure you have a mentor. Getting a mentor comes with several perks that you might not get from anyone who is not committed to your growth and development.

When the right person mentors you, it would be easy to avoid some mistakes that might even cost you your relationship. If you want to get a mentor, ensure they are people of worthy character.

They should have years of experience behind them, and they should be people you can always trust. When you feel safe with your mentor, you can easily open up to them and be receptive to the directions they will provide. Your partner must know who your mentor is to avoid conflicts in your relationship.

To know how to create self-development goals in your relationship, you need to learn the right tips. Check out this research study by Amy Canevello and Jennifer Crocker titled Creating Good relationships: Responsiveness, Relationship Quality, and Interpersonal Goals. 

Conclusion

After reading through the tips in this post on how to grow individually in a relationship, it would be easy for you to set goals and work towards them. However, if you are struggling with achieving growth as a person, feel free to enroll for a self-development course or see a counselor.