Fatal Attraction Signs: Dangerous Relationships

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Relationships aren’t always rosy, and most times, they are a mix of good and bad. Fatal attraction signs aren’t only prevalent in turbulent relationships but can also be found in healthy ones.

 However, fatal attractions aren’t always dangerous and can be handled if the couple gets the right help. This article seeks to define fatal attraction and help you handle a relationship that falls under this.

 So, let’s jump into the fatal attraction definition.

What is a fatal attraction in relationships?

If you have ever asked, “what is a fatal attraction in relationships?” Then you aren’t alone.

 A fatal attraction in relationships is when a person dislikes the attributes they once adored in their partner.

 Fatal attraction can be likened to “a moth to a flame.” People attracted to specific characteristics in their partner might later come to dislike them.

 Fatal in this context doesn’t mean “lethal.” It isn’t always dangerous and doesn’t always signify that the relationship is doomed to fail.

 For instance, you like that your partner is career-driven and might later dislike that your partner is a workaholic.

 Why do fatal attractions occur?

Fatal attraction occurs for different reasons, and they include:

 1. Human strengths and weaknesses are linked

A person’s virtues and vices can be the same. You may be drawn to a trait in your partner you consider their strength, and later on, it might turn you off. A positive trait might become overwhelming and turn into something negative.

 2. Our needs can be contradictory

Having opposing desires is normal and experienced by most people. It is possible to seek security and stability and, down the line, want diversity and adventure.

 5 warning signs of fatal attraction

Fatal attraction in a relationship doesn’t always come with bright neon signs screaming these actions are unhealthy in a relationship. Fatal attractions can even be found in safe and healthy relationships.

 Knowing the fatal attraction signs can help you tackle and handle them in a relationship. Some warning signs of a fatal attraction include;

 1. Obsessive traits

It takes a while to get to know someone and discover attributes peculiar to them. So, it’s possible to meet someone for the first time, and they are normal, great even. But then, after a while, their obsessive traits might start rising to the surface, and you wonder how you missed it.

 Relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder focuses on close and intimate relationships. It entails unwanted thoughts or feelings towards a person or interfering with their lives.

This behavior can be deemed innocent, even sweet at first, but slowly it might become debilitating and frustrating.

 They may become obsessed with you and even begin stalking you. They might not take no for an answer, which can be distressing for the person involved. It can also hurt the relationship.

Related Reading: Obsessive Love Disorder 101 – All You Need to Know About This Problem

If a person exhibits such fatal attraction signs, your relationship must be reconsidered.

2. Possessiveness

Possessiveness is simply the fear of losing your partner, and it might lead to feelings of fear and anger. This emotion arises from insecurity and might make a person disrespect or engage in abusive behavior towards their partner.  

 People who are possessive in a relationship might oppose their partner’s independence. Possessiveness cannot be defended on the ground of love. It is unhealthy and leads to extreme jealousy.

 Little things like laughing with someone, wearing a flattering outfit, or a long phone call can lead to irrational jealousy. Keeping things from your partner to prevent them from getting jealous can also lead to deception and affect the relationship.

So you’re in a lose-lose situation irrespective of what you do. Possessive traits include

• Snooping through your phone or a personal belonging
• Controlling every minute of your time
• Monitoring your schedule
• Fast-tracking the relationship by an early declaration of love  

Related Reading: 15 Ways on How to Stop Being Possessive

3. They don’t take responsibility for their actions  

Accepting responsibility in a relationship shows maturity and creates a space for a healthy relationship to thrive.

When you are in a relationship with someone that has a fatal attraction to you, you notice they might be sensitive to comments and react negatively to criticisms. They may have no control over their emotions and quickly blame the world when something goes wrong.

They might start with blaming others for their misfortune, and this blame shifts to you over time. So, everything going wrong in their life will be traced back to you irrespective of whether you played no role in the matter.

The relationship becomes toxic, and you must defend yourself against irrational and unfair accusations.

4. They are manipulative

Manipulative traits are one of the signs of fatal attraction in relationships.

A manipulative person seeks to control someone to their advantage. They may attack people’s mental and emotional sides to bend them to their will. A manipulative partner is a sign of fatal attraction.

They may want an imbalance of power in the relationship to enable them to take advantage of and control their partner.  

A manipulative partner might try to remove you from your comfort zone and isolate you from those you love. They may introduce you to an unfamiliar place to make it easier to control you.

• They transfer their responsibilities to others
• Guilt trip their partner to bend to their will
• Strategically lying about most things or withholding facts to control you
• Denying when they are wrong
• Feigning innocence
• Playing mind games to get their way
• Cruel humor at your expense
• Judging you constantly
• Passive aggression

Related Reading: 25 Examples of Manipulation in Relationships 

5. They don’t respect boundaries

A person in a relationship characterized by fatal attraction will not respect your boundaries. Instead, they will use whatever means at their disposal to achieve their objectives.

 They might badger you and ask questions that make you uncomfortable with extracting information from you. They may put little value on your opinions and push theirs on you.

A person that doesn’t respect your boundaries might push you to take the relationship to the next step, even if you aren’t ready for that.

How to handle a fatal attraction in your relationship?

 A fatal attraction also occurs in healthy and stable relationships, and its presence in a relationship doesn’t have to cause a breakup. However, if you recognize fatal attraction signs in your relationship, there are specific steps you can take to handle it.

 These steps include

 1. Develop awareness

Take responsibility for your choice to be in a relationship with your partner. This step can help your relationship grow and raise awareness of the things you like about your partner.

 Reflect on the attributes that made you develop feelings for your partner and the issues in the relationship. You can examine the nature of the fatal attraction in the relationship and the characteristics of you and your partner that creates problems in the relationship.

By acknowledging both the good and bad parts of your relationship, you take responsibility for your choice. In addition, this allows you to identify the problems in the relationship and work on them.

 2. Communicate without judgment

It will help if you communicate with your partner about your encounter with fatal attraction in the relationship. However, it would help if you listened to your partner’s views without judging or criticizing them.

 Don’t interrupt them when they speak or downplay their feelings. The fatal attraction in the relationship affects both partners, and your actions might also contribute to the fatal attraction.

 You can raise issues or attributes in the relationship that affects and hurts you. Don’t use an accusatory tone or attack your partner while doing this. The goal is to create a safe space for sharing feelings to influence growth in the relationship.

Watch this video to learn how to improve your communication skills

3. Be direct

 To pass on your message and communicate properly, you must be clear about your feelings. Please talk about your partner’s action and how it affects you. Confirm that your partner understands you and is following your train of thoughts.

For instance, use the XYZ method; when you act X way in the situation Y, it makes me feel Z. It is also necessary you don’t only pass across the negative parts of your partner. Also, talk about the positive things and note your tone of voice. 

4. Be empathetic

Don’t just pretend like you are listening or listen only to come up with an argument. Instead, try to understand your partner’s perspective and repeat the words back to confirm that you are listening to your partner.

This is also perfect if you misinterpreted the message; your partner can re-explain it to avoid misunderstanding. The relationship can only grow if you guys are on the same page.

Related Reading: How to Build Empathy in Relationships

5. Embrace change

After couples are done communicating their feelings without judgment and expressing empathy, the next step is to agree to change. Without agreeing to change, following the steps above will be futile.

Agreeing to change the traits that caused the problems in the relationship is the last step in handling fatal attraction. You can’t talk about problems, come up with a solution, fail to implement it, and expect to see change.

Wrapping up

It is important to remember the good parts of your relationship when faced with problems. However, the bad parts don’t have to cancel out the good.

Knowing the fatal attraction signs in a relationship is the first step in working out the problems. Unfortunately, this cannot be done in a day and will need time and patience.

You can also seek the help of a counselor if you find it challenging to handle the fatal attraction in your relationship.