20 Mistakes Women Make in Bed and How to Avoid Them

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There are so many different ways to explore and express intimacy. Amongst this, sexual intimacy and satisfying sex life are important aspects of a romantic relationship.

However, there are some mistakes women make in bed that dampen the experience for them and their partners. But the good news is that there is a fix for each of these mistakes.

Sexual intercourse is a wonderful way to be physically and emotionally intimate with your beloved. This is one of those things in life which is all about pleasure.

If you feel like your sex life needs some improvement, do not worry! If you want to learn about the top 20 common mistakes women make in bed, just read on!

Not only will you learn about these common and or pertinent mistakes women make, but you’ll also learn about a solution for each problem.

Top 20 Mistakes Women Make in Bed (Plus the fixes for each mistake)

There are quite a few common mistakes women make in bed. These errors might be the reason why your sex life doesn’t feel that great.

Consider the following mistakes women make in bed:

1. Not communicating about sexual preferences

This is probably one of the most common errors made in the bedroom. This mistake is most commonly made by women.

Not talking about what you like in the bedroom during sex is not a good idea. The emphasis on direct and open communication with your beloved applies to everything-including sex.

If you don’t talk about the kind of experiences you enjoy during sex, your partner won’t be able to provide those for you!

The fix: This mistake is very easy to avoid. All you have to do is sit and have conversations with your partner about your sexual preferences.

If you both struggle to talk about sex when you’re not having it, try to start having such conversations right after sex. This will make for interesting pillow talk!

Related Reading: 7 Ways to Start Sexual Communication and Overcome the Difficulties You Face

2. Pretending to not have feelings when you actually do

This is one of the top mistakes women make with men. Yes, ladies, you heard that right.

How many times have you casually hooked up with a person and made it to be a lot more than it actually was? How often have you felt heartbroken after that?

The fix: Before having a casual sexual encounter with anyone, ask yourself this: Am I someone who is fine with the idea of having a casual sex encounter, or will I catch feelings?

An honest answer to this question can help you avoid making this mistake.

3. Being overly shy in bed

This is another one of the mistakes women make in bed. When it comes to this mistake, it happens a lot of the time due to centuries of oppression that women had to face.

If you find yourself having a hard time expressing pleasure or telling your partner to continue doing something that makes you feel amazing, you’re being very shy in bed.

If you’ve come across a new sex position or you want to introduce sex toys in the bedroom but, you’re too shy to say this to your partner, you’re being very shy.

The fix: Are you a shy person in general? Or do you just feel shy talking about sex with your partner? Try to understand the cause of your shyness.

Understanding why you’re shy will help you solve this problem and ensure that you have amazing sex in the future!

Related Reading: Why Do I Feel Shy Sexually With My Husband & How to Overcome It

4. Overthinking things during sex

This is one of the mistakes women make in relationships. Overthinking can be detrimental to your mental health and your sex life.

Do you catch yourself having thoughts about whether you’re doing the right thing or thinking too much about the technical aspects of sex while having sex?

Well, you’re overthinking in the bedroom then! The moment you start having these intrusive thoughts in your head, you rob yourself of the opportunity to enjoy sex.

The fix: When you have sex with your beloved, it’s one of those times when both of you can be completely free and uninhibited! So, to stop yourself from overthinking, try to learn and implement mindfulness during sex.

5. Faking orgasms

Ladies, please read this point very well! This is probably one of your biggest sex mistakes in bed.

When you fake orgasms in bed, you’re setting yourself and your beloved up for failure. When you start faking it, your partner might be under the impression that repeating those particular actions is the way to make you orgasm.

So, your partner might end up doing the same thing over and over again every time you have sex. Can you see where this is headed?

The fix: Please don’t fake your orgasms. Please don’t. If you’ve already faked it, try to muster the courage and come clean about it to your partner. Let them know that it won’t happen again.

Related Reading: Stop Faking Orgasm to Save Your Marriage

6. Being dishonest about how experienced you are

This mistake can go either way. One of the reasons you may not be enjoying sex is because you’ve not been honest with your partner about how experienced you are.

You may have either told your partner that you’re very well-experienced or that you’re a beginner. This mistake can prevent you both from truly experiencing the magic of sex.

The fix: This may be a difficult conversation to have, but it’s best to come clean to your beloved about it.

7. Trying to attach meaning to everything during sex

Some women try to deduce too much out of something simple. Say you’re in the mood to have sex, but your partner says that they aren’t. Have you found yourself assuming that they’re not interested in you anymore?

Or say they’ve tried a new move on you, and you assume it’s because they’re cheating on you.

The fix: If your partner tries something new in bed, it might be because they’ve learned it from their research, and they just wants to please you.

If your partner has said no to sex, it might be because they’re simply tired or not in the mood.

Talk to your partner about these things.

Related Reading: How to Please Your Husband: 20 Ways

8. Not initiating sex

This is another one of the biggest mistakes women make in bed. Sex is about having a wonderful time. It’s about expressing your love to your partner.

If you don’t initiate sex at times, it may give off the impression that you’re not interested in your partner. This can easily escalate things.

The fix: There isn’t anything immoral or wrong about initiating sex as a woman. Your partner will love it when you take the lead. So, try initiating sex.

If you find yourself struggling, then bring up how and why you feel inhibited to take the lead with your partner. Discuss this matter because it is very important.

9. Not having period sex

Having sex while you’re menstruating can be a very pleasurable experience. It also shows a different level of vulnerability.

If you’re overthinking about the fact that your partner may find it gross, you are robbing yourself of a golden opportunity.

The fix: Instead of ruminating about how your partner will react to period sex, talk to your partner about it. Period sex can feel so good for both of you.

The extra lubrication and heightened sensation make it worth the mess. To make things easier, just use a towel!

Related Reading: How Women’s Menstrual Cycle Affects Intimate Relationships

10. Trying to rush through the process

This is one of those mistakes women make in bed that you should avoid at all costs. If you’re rushing through it, you’re not going to enjoy it.

The fix: If this has been happening for a long time, it may be hard to break the habit, but it is possible.

Going to a professional sex therapist as a couple can help you deal with this very effectively.

11. Too quiet to handle

This is one of those what not to do during sex things. Pin drop silence in the bedroom isn’t going to do anything for your sex life.

If you’re having a good time but you’re not vocal about it through some light moaning, saying you love your partner, or even telling your partner what to do, it can dampen the pleasure in sex.

The fix: Start slow. You can start with some subtle moaning if you’re enjoying something he’s doing to you. You can then progress to saying small phrases!

12. Worrying too much about your physical appearance

Are you concerned about whether your partner can see a little bit of tummy fat when you’re on top of them? Are you worried about how your body looks when he’s going down on you? 

The fix: These things don’t matter when you’re having sex! Do you worry about how your partner looks when you’re having sex? No, right? It’s the same for you.

Related Reading: 5 Ways to Look Attractive Years after Marriage

13. Not having oral sex

Foreplay is an essential part of being fully aroused before penetrative intercourse. One of the biggest mistakes women make in bed is to jump straight from kissing to vaginal intercourse.

Neither of you will be aroused enough to enjoy the sex!

The fix: If you’re not well-acquainted with oral sex, you can use the internet to learn more about it. Do this with your partner. Start slow and build up.

Related Reading: 20 Best Oral Sex Tips – How to Give a Great Blow Job

14. Getting stuck in a monotonous pattern in the bedroom

This is one of those mistakes women make in bed without even being aware of it. This happens in long-term relationships when couples find themselves stuck in the same loop.

The fix: Learn about different sex positions. Set the right mood (you can even plan a romantic getaway) and try something new in the bedroom every time!

15. Setting unrealistic expectations

This is one of those mistakes women make in bed that sets them up for failure. If you expect your partner to somehow telepathically sense what you like and dislike in the bedroom, you’re wrong!

The fix: Nobody can read minds. Understand and accept this. Talk more in the bedroom and about sexual preferences with your partner to be on the same page.

16. Exaggerating how you feel during sex

This is one of those sex mistakes to avoid. There’s a fine line between showing that you’re having a great time and taking it a bit too far.

The depiction of sex in pornography can often subconsciously model how women should behave during sex. This is why there are mistakes women make in bed.

The fix: Tone it down a little. Tap into why you exaggerate things in the bedroom and address it.

Related Reading: The Power of Eye Contact During Sex

17. Not repeating your sexual wishes

Have you said that you like to be touched a certain way in the bedroom by your partner? Have you only said this once, and he hasn’t done it? This is one of those mistakes women make in bed.

The fix: Repeat yourself. Say it a few times, especially when you’re having sex. Why? When you’re both having sex, it may be difficult to remember these things. So, repeat your wishes.

You and your partner may also watch this effective video:

18. Touching too lightly

Are you scared of hurting your partner during oral sex? Is that why you touch them too lightly? It might not arouse them properly. Being a little rough in bed is one of the sexy things women do.

The fix: Ask your partner how rough he likes it and try to do it!

Related Reading: What Is the Physical Touch Love Language?

19. Worrying too much about doing things right

This is one of those mistakes women make in bed that goes hand in hand with overthinking. Worrying too much about getting it right can ruin the pleasure and freedom associated with sexual intimacy.

The fix: Identifying the causes or reasons as to why you worry so much is key. Keep your partner involved in this process.

20. Avoiding the conversation about sex drive with your partner

Different people have different sex drives. You might like to have sex 3-4 times a week. Your partner might prefer a different frequency.

This can lead to some problems in the bedroom.

The fix: Have an honest discussion with your partner about your respective sex drives. Try to find a middle ground. It’s best to work with a sex therapist to resolve huge gaps in sex drive.

Related Reading: 6 Tips For The Spouse With a Lower Sex Drive

Conclusion

Now that you know about the most common mistakes women make in bed, it may be time to reignite the passion and pleasure in the bedroom!

Allow yourself and your partner to experience the boundless pleasure associated with sex! You won’t be disappointed!