11 Subtle Signs of Repressed Emotions & Ways to Cope

Ever feel disconnected from your emotions… or like something’s just off?

Maybe you find yourself snapping at loved ones or struggling to get a good night’s sleep. Perhaps you’re constantly battling headaches or feel a knot of tension in your stomach you just can’t shake.

Could these be signs of something deeper; could these be signs of repressed emotions, something you’ve unintentionally buried over time?

What if those seemingly random bursts of anger or that persistent feeling of unease are actually your emotions trying to tell you something important?

It’s time to listen…

What are repressed emotions?

Repressed emotions are feelings we unintentionally push aside; they can linger in our minds and bodies, creating a sense of unease.

Have you ever felt that knot in your stomach or found yourself snapping at loved ones for no apparent reason?

That might be a sign of something deeper! When we suppress our emotions—perhaps out of fear or a desire to be strong—we might become emotionally repressed.

But what do repressed emotions mean for us?

They often signal unresolved issues or pain that need our attention. It’s essential to gently acknowledge these feelings, permitting ourselves to explore what’s been hidden and to listen to what our hearts are trying to say…

7 differences between repression vs. suppression of emotions

Sometimes, we deal with emotions in ways we might not even realize! Repression and suppression are two ways we handle tough feelings, but they’re not quite the same.

Understanding the difference can help us identify our emotional patterns and find healthier ways to cope. Let’s take a closer look at these two emotional processes:

Aspect	Repression	Suppression
Awareness	Involuntary; we’re often unaware it’s happening.	Voluntary; we consciously choose to push feelings away.
Emotional Depth	Emotions are buried deep, often from past experiences.	Emotions are held back in the moment, but we know they’re there.
Emotional Impact	Can cause emotional numbness or disconnection.	Creates temporary emotional relief, but feelings can resurface later.
Physical Symptoms	Often leads to physical symptoms like headaches or tension.	May cause stress or frustration if feelings aren’t eventually addressed.
Long-term Effects	Long-term effects on mental health if unaddressed.	Short-term strategy, with the hope of dealing with feelings later.
Processing	Usually requires deeper self-reflection to uncover.	Can be brought up and processed when ready.
Common Usage	Common in trauma or deeply painful experiences.	Often used in everyday situations to stay calm or focused.

Why does emotional repression happen?

Emotional repression happens when we unintentionally bury our feelings deep inside. It’s not something we consciously choose, but it can happen for many reasons, often to protect ourselves from pain or discomfort.

So why does emotional repression happen?

Let’s take a look at some common reasons:

• Fear of vulnerability: Opening up can feel too risky, so we push our emotions aside to avoid being hurt.
• Past trauma: Old wounds can cause us to hide painful feelings, sometimes without realizing it.
• Societal expectations: We may feel pressure to “stay strong” or not show emotions, especially in tough situations.
• Overwhelm: Too many emotions at once? Our minds might shut down to cope.
• Avoiding conflict: Sometimes, we repress feelings to keep the peace or avoid confrontation.

By gently exploring these reasons, we can start to understand why certain emotions are harder to access.

5 kinds of emotions that get repressed

Certain emotions can be harder to express or even acknowledge, leading us to repress them unintentionally. These feelings don’t just disappear; they can stay hidden, affecting our emotional well-being in subtle ways.

Let’s explore 5 common types of emotions that tend to get repressed and why this might happen:

1. Anger

Anger is often viewed as a “negative” emotion, so many people suppress it to avoid conflict or seeming out of control. However, pushing anger aside doesn’t make it go away!

Research highlight: Studies show that anger, while often perceived negatively, can be a powerful force for positive change. It can motivate us to address injustices, make amends, and strive for better outcomes in our lives and relationships.

Instead, it can turn inward, manifesting as frustration, resentment, or even physical symptoms like tension headaches. Learning to express anger safely can be key to releasing its hold on us.

2. Sadness

Many of us struggle to show sadness, especially if we feel the need to stay strong or be the “rock” for others. We might downplay or hide our grief, disappointment, or sorrow, thinking it’s a sign of weakness.

Repressing sadness can lead to emotional numbness or a sense of disconnection, making it harder to process the underlying cause.

3. Fear

Fear can be tricky! We sometimes push it down, especially if it’s tied to vulnerability or feeling out of control.

Whether it’s fear of failure, rejection, or the unknown, repressing these feelings can prevent us from facing challenges head-on. In the long run, unresolved fear can make us anxious or overly cautious in our choices.

4. Guilt

Feelings of guilt can be deeply uncomfortable, especially if we believe we’ve let someone down. Instead of addressing the source of guilt, we might bury it, hoping it fades.

But repressed guilt tends to linger, manifesting as shame or self-criticism, making it difficult to move forward and forgive ourselves.

5. Love

Yes, even love can be repressed! Repressed feelings of love might occur when we fear rejection, vulnerability, or past hurt. Whether it’s romantic love or deep affection for someone close, unexpressed love can leave us feeling lonely or unfulfilled.

When we don’t allow ourselves to embrace and share love fully, we can experience emotional isolation.

11 signs you have repressed emotions

Repressed emotions can build up over time without us even realizing it, and they often appear unexpectedly. These feelings don’t just disappear—they stay buried, waiting for the chance to be acknowledged.

Emotional repression symptoms might even creep into your day-to-day life without you knowing!

Wondering if you might have repressed feelings?

Here are 11 signs that could point to hidden emotions trying to surface:

1. Inability to describe your feelings

People with repressed emotions have trouble tagging and understanding their emotions. 

When people ask how they feel, they often find it hard to describe their feelings. That also inhibits you from taking care of yourself. Since you don’t know how you feel, you may not know how to solve the problem.

2. You feel blank and numb

Sometimes, people experience traumatic events, but they always bounce back to reality.

People with repressed emotions often feel nothing. After a long time of repressed emotions, such people may experience emotional numbness. They can stare into space without necessarily staring at something or thinking.

3. You feel stressed all the time

Most stress comes from working for an extended time, but it’s different for people with buried emotions.

When you feel tired and stressed, even if you have been indoors all day, that may signify repressed feelings. It means you have a lot to say but don’t know how to.

4. You feel nervous

One of the causes of emotional repression is an environment where people cannot speak their minds. When you want to talk but are scared, it leads to nervousness. Some signs of repressed emotions include a fast heart rate and frequent chest pumps.

5. You feel discomfort when others tell you about their feelings

Another sign of repressed emotions is the fear of people telling you about their emotions.

You might understand their situations and possible solutions, but you don’t want to be judged or criticized. You wish they would keep quiet instead of talking to you.

6. You say you are fine all the time

If your answer to every “How are you?” is “I am fine,” you may be developing repressed feelings.

Your constant response is a way of dissuading people from asking for more information about you. It is a way to cloak the feelings you are afraid of letting out.

7. You forget things quickly

While it is sometimes commendable to not dwell on issues, it might be a sign of being emotionally constipated. 

Even when people intentionally offend or hurt you, you forget quickly and move on to another thing. That is not maturity but repressing your emotions. It means you are not used to confronting issues head-on.

8. You are irritated when people ask you about your feelings

Someone who repressed their emotions gets angry when people pester them on how they feel. To them, they are invading their well-concealed privacy.

It feels like the person is about to strip them of their dignity. They will do anything to protect it, including dissuading people who ask about their feelings.

9. You use other activities to forget

If you like to head on to social media or switch to Netflix anytime, you have an issue, and you might be emotionally repressed. Activities like drinking, clubbing, and watching movies are ways to avoid the problem.

10. You go along with any situation

You have emotional repression if you accept anything thrown at you or go along with situations even when uncomfortable. It’s okay to grumble or complain. However, people with repressed feelings will agree to anything to uncover repressed emotions.

11. You avoid deep conversations

If you find yourself steering clear of deep, emotional conversations or quickly changing the topic when it gets personal, it might be a sign of repressed emotions.

Avoiding vulnerability often means you’re uncomfortable with exploring or expressing your own feelings, even in safe spaces. This reluctance can prevent meaningful connections and keep buried emotions locked away.

13 ways to release repressed emotions in a relationship

One thing about repressed emotions or repressed feelings is that you might not realize that you avoid dealing with negative emotions. If you are always uncomfortable with some situations but don’t talk about them, that’s a sign that you unconsciously prevent them.

Dealing with repressed feelings can be challenging if you don’t have any help around you. Nonetheless, there are simple ways you can use to release repressed emotions. Below are some ways to help you learn how to deal with repressed emotions:

1. Understand negative emotions

Negative emotions are uncomfortable, but you will feel frustrated if you continue to see them as a scared entity you shouldn’t confront. Understand that your emotions occur because of certain events.

Without these events, you may never even think about them. Seeing negative emotions as a weakness or shameful will further plunge you into unhappiness.

2. Learn the triggers of your emotions

If you notice unresolved emotions, you should pay more attention to yourself and watch how you develop negative emotions.

According to licensed professional counselor Christiana Njoku:

In releasing repressed emotions, it is important for you to discover and understand what triggers your emotions and why you behave the way you do.

What are the events that precede your unhappiness or anxiety?

By identifying what wakes up your feelings, you can quickly combat them. For instance, if you notice that the crowd makes you nervous, you can take some time to calm yourself when you see one.

3. Live with your emotions

Getting rid of those negative emotions will only worsen your repressed feelings. Accept them as they come instead of using your energy to avoid feeling angry or sad.

So, learn how to let out your emotions instead of repressing them.

When you push away negative emotions, you are like driving a wall—it goes nowhere. Sooner or later, this will lead to sudden emotional release, which can worsen.

4. Express yourself loudly

The truth in dealing with repressed emotions is that you are the only one who can help yourself. Practice expressive communication with yourself whenever you are alone. For instance, you can stand in front of a mirror and speak to yourself.

Christiana Njoku states:

If you can boldly and loudly express how you feel, then you are one step closer to releasing repressed emotions.

Imagine the person who stepped on you the other night was in front of you. Calmly express yourself without shouting, even when you are angry. Remember that it is just you, and no one judges you.

5. Bring up past unpleasant events

It is unhealthy to live in the past, but a way to let emotions out is by remembering how you acted during some unpleasant events in the past. Imagine how you would have reacted if you had not been scared.

Do you think you would have rejected your partner’s proposal to move in with them?

If yes, how would you speak to them?

Practice this with any events you can remember. Gradually, you will be able to act it out in real situations.

6. Constantly check in with yourself

As you go about your daily activities, it is best to ask how you feel. It is one of the best ways to release any issues you might be bottling up and not knowing.

So, how to release emotions that have been suppressed?

Start by asking, “How do I feel right now?”

Try to label it angry, happy, excited, melancholy, etc. By marking it, you can process the cause and devise suitable solutions.

7. Start your statement with ‘I’

If you feel uncomfortable about a particular event, there is no need to deflect by making it seem like you are not offended or affected. 

For example, instead of telling your partner, “You should do this….” Say, “I feel you need to do this….”

Let it be evident that it’s about you, although you need to consider others’ feelings and choose your words carefully.

8. Focus on the positive side

You could be repressing emotions because you dwell on what could go wrong if you speak.

Rather than imagining the worst situation, why don’t you also think about the positive side?

No rule ever says you should see only the wrong side of things.

9. Judge yourself less

Be free with your thoughts, and stop repressing your emotions. Avoid telling yourself to feel in a certain way, no matter the situation.

You don’t control events that happen; why should you repress your emotions?

Christiana Njoku added that:

Stop judging yourself based on the way you are feeling at the moment. We all experience different emotions at different times.

Releasing repressed emotions may be challenging, but you can reduce their effect by giving a reason for the particular feeling.

For example, “I feel sad because I didn’t do well in my last exam.”

What can I do to solve it? Do better!

10. Find a solution

Once you understand the message your emotion is trying to convey, you can take action. Consider measures that can solve the problem that causes negative emotions.

For instance, how can you stop him if you detest how your partner speaks to you?

Leave the relationship?

Or respectfully talk to him?

Come up with many plausible solutions and choose one.

Watch this TEDx Talk by Mandy Saligari to learn more about your feelings so that you can handle them better:

11. Write it out

Journaling can be a powerful tool for releasing repressed emotions. When you put your thoughts on paper, it helps you gain clarity and better understand your feelings.

Writing allows you to express things you might find difficult to say out loud, making it a safe space for emotional release.

12. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness helps you become aware of your emotions in the present moment without judgment.

By regularly practicing mindfulness through meditation or deep breathing, you can begin to recognize and process your feelings as they arise instead of pushing them away. This can reduce emotional buildup over time.

13. Talk to a trusted friend

Sometimes, just talking things out with a close friend can help you release repressed feelings.

Sharing your thoughts with someone who listens without judgment can provide a sense of relief. Their perspective may also help you process emotions you didn’t realize you were holding back.

A gentle reminder

Releasing repressed emotions in a relationship can feel overwhelming, but it’s a crucial step toward deeper connection and personal growth. It’s not easy to face those hidden feelings, and that’s okay!

Take your time, be gentle with yourself, and remember—your emotions are there to guide you, not to harm you. Whether it’s through journaling, mindfulness, or simply sharing your thoughts with a friend, each small step helps.

By acknowledging your emotions, you’re giving yourself the space to heal, communicate better, and create a more fulfilling relationship. It’s a process… but one worth embracing. You deserve to feel heard, understood, and emotionally free.