10 Glaring Signs of Marital Infidelity and How to Prevent It

Do you suspect your partner of marital infidelity?

But you are unsure of what to do now?

In this article, you will learn about some of the most common marital infidelity signs. If you know the signs of a cheating partner in a relationship, you can find the answer to ‘how to know your spouse is cheating’ by yourself.

Perhaps you have already noticed some strange behavior in the past months. People are good at seeing odd things.

We don’t mind common things or normal things. But uncommon behavior stands out. We notice it in an instant. Our gut tells us something is wrong. And, signs of infidelity in marriage are certainly beyond normal.

What Is Infidelity in Marriage?

What is marital infidelity meaning to you? Infidelity, a word everyone dreads. This term is also known it as “cheating” or “adultery.”

It is the act of engaging into sexual or emotional intimacy with someone other than your spouse. Most of us think that infidelity meaning involves sex, but that’s not the case.

Infidelity has many forms, not just someone engaging in sexual cheating. Someone who falls in love with someone else or develops emotional intimacy is also infidelity.

The act of cheating to your partner or spouse will not just have an enormous impact on your relationship; it could also lead to extreme anger, blame, hatred, loss of self-esteem, and even depression.

Now that you know what does infidelity means, it’s time to understand the reasons someone would do it.

What are the reasons for marriage infidelity?

Now that we know what infidelity is, it’s time to understand what causes it.

Being in a relationship means commitment, love, and respect. But what drives a person to cheat?

Do you know how common is infidelity today?

In the past two decades, a study made by Professor Nicholas Wolfinger has shown that 20 and 25 percent of married men cheat and 10 and 15 percent of married women also cheat.

Here are 10 most common causes of infidelity:

1. Low self-esteem  

Low self-esteem can cause a person to seek validation by cheating. For them, cheating is validation.

2. Falling for someone

Falling for someone else is also one of the leading causes of infidelity. Too much time together and vulnerability causes people to fall in love with someone else.

3. Social influence  

Social influence also plays a huge part. If your friends cheat, they would most likely support you in this setup as well.

Related Reading: 10 Ways Marriage Affects One’s Social Life

4. Revenge  

Revenge can play a crucial role in cheating. Some cheat to get even when their partners cheat on them.

5. Falling out of love with spouse 

Falling out of love with your spouse and instead of working on your marriage, you decide to look for love elsewhere.

Related Reading: 100 Ways to Love Your Husband

6. Commitment issues

Issues with commitment for some people will cause them to think that their infidelity is justifiable. They don’t see the importance of marriage, respect, or commitment.

7. Sexual satisfaction

Needs not being met such as sexual and emotional needs can make someone more susceptible to look for their needs with someone else.

Related Reading: 12 Tips on How to Keep Your Husband Sexually Satisfied

8. Seeking thrill

Thrill and variety make a person think that cheating is fun and a way to gratify their need for an exciting life.

9. Sexual urges  

Sexual urges for people who have high sexual energy can lead them to seek the fulfillment of their carnal desire for someone else.

Related Reading: 6 Signs of Sexual Repression That Could Be Affecting Your Sex Life

10. Long distance relationships 

Situations such as LDR or long distance relationship can cause a person to be vulnerable to cheating.

10 ways to prevent infidelity in marriage

Infidelity in marriage may be one of the most painful ways to destroy your vows for each other.

Realizing that your spouse, the person you love, had cheated will not only traumatize you, but it will also cause you to have low self-esteem, trust issues, and even the end of your marriage.

Is there a way to avoid married infidelity acts?

1. Think of your relationship when making decisions

You can avoid infidelity in marriage if you consciously decide on something with your relationship in mind.

Life will give you temptations, but before you find yourself in a situation that will lead to infidelity, think of your marriage and your children first. This way, you are bound to realize the impact of your choices to the person you married and to the kids waiting for you at home.

2. Rebuild your communications

Marital infidelity happens when a couple’s closeness fades. Therefore, communication is very important. Even if you’re busy, always try to ask your spouse about their day.

You can also have time to check on your spouse’s work, mental and emotional health. Let your spouse know that you’re always there for each other.

3. Set healthy boundaries

Infidelity marriages could be an effect of not setting boundaries. If you’re already open with each other, try to talk about what fidelity means to the both of you.

Setting a guideline in your relationship will help the both of you understand each other. Are you okay if your spouse has friends of the opposite sex? Would it bother you if they would talk for a long time?

By knowing what’s okay and what’s not, you would get a better understanding of each other and what to avoid.

4. Spend time with your spouse

We can avoid marital infidelity by staying sweet with each other. Go on a weekly date, catch up, or if you have kids, have a movie night. Spending time with each other strengthens your bond.

Related Reading: 11 Ways to Spend Some Quality Time With Your Partner

5. Don’t be too close to the opposite sex

Some say that relationship infidelity starts when you get too comfortable with another person. Do you agree with that? Of course, we may be close to whoever we want to without malice.

Friendship is okay, but being too touchy may be a little too much. Like any other things, we should know our limits.

6. Stop social comparison

This is actually really common with people who cheat. Once you get married, you will see the not-so-attractive side of your spouse, but to compare them with other people is just wrong.

Avoid social comparison that can degrade your spouse and give you a way to have a crush on another person.

7. Have an active and exciting sex life

Sexually satisfy your partner and yourself and make sure that your sex life is always on fire. Don’t opt for familiarity because some people find this as an excuse for cheating in marriage.

Try something new, use sex toys, do some role plays, have sex in the garage or anywhere exciting.

Did you know that when you’re struggling with your sexual intimacy, you can get help with sex therapy?

What is sex therapy and how does this help? Allow Claire Postl, a certified sex therapist at the Ohio State University to explain this:

8. Take care of yourself

Take care of yourself even if you’re really busy. Buy new clothes, smell nice, and go out to feel better. If you do this, it will not only prevent marital infidelity, but you will also feel so good about yourself.

Related Reading: 5 Self-Care Tips in an Unhappy Marriage

9. Have friends who will be good influence

Our friends will have a great impact on us. So find friends who will educate you and stop you from making poor decisions. Avoid people who would deliberately ask you to try it for “fun” because that’s not genuine friendship.

10. Fall in love with your spouse over and over again

One thing that we love about marriage therapy is that you learn how important it is to fall in love with your spouse over and over again.

Marriage isn’t perfect, and you’ll face trials that will test your fidelity, but if you choose to see the good, work on your marriage, and to choose love, then you won’t have time to cheat.

10 glaring signs of marital infidelity that you must know

First things first!

Look for the guaranteed signs of cheating before you make any accusations toward your spouse. If your partner really has an extramarital affair, that would be low and painful.

But, that is for now just an if-scenario.  As long as you are not completely sure your spouse has an affair you should tread very carefully.

What if you say certain things that you can never take back? What if your spouse does not have an affair and is not even considering cheating on you?

Communication works both ways. You can undermine trust by what you say, of course, the same is true for your partner.

If you are open, honest, and transparent, you can never force someone to do the same, but you can at least lead by example.

Words of caution

Before we take a closer look at the marital infidelity signs it is good that you keep these two rules in mind:

Rule #1 – Your partner could show all these signs and still nót have an affair

Rule #2 – Your partner could show none of these signs and still have an affair

So, how to know your partner is cheating?

There is no sure way to know if your partner is cheating. The behavior as mentioned below could be an indication, but something else could be going on as well. You simply can’t be sure just yet.

One thing is for sure, the marital infidelity signs that are mentioned below are bad.

So, if you notice these marital infidelity signs in your relationship it is time to work on improving your relationship. If need be, get some help and make improvements.

Here are mentioned some of the glaring marital infidelity signs. Knowing these signs of a cheating spouse will help you to analyze your situation, and put your speculations about marital cheating to rest.

1. A sudden lack of interest in you

A sure sign that something is not going as it should be: your partner has a sudden lack of interest in you. It certainly is one of the most obvious marital infidelity signs!

It’s not just that you don’t get any compliments about how you look, but your partner also doesn’t ask how your day was and so on. There is just no more general interest in you.

This peculiar behavior should be watched closely.

Related Reading: Is He Losing Interest or Just Stressed? 15 Signs of Disinterest

2. Sudden communication rough spots

Every relationship has ups and downs. Sometimes, during those rough spots, communication is hard or near impossible.

Perhaps it is because of some men, who don’t like to talk about emotions and can have a hard time opening up. Perhaps it is something else. Whatever it is, make sure you get through it together.

Try and lead by example. Be open, honest, and transparent. Give your spouse some time and room to communicate.

Communicate with the goal of listening, not telling your side of the story. Understand first, then be understood.

3. No longer wanting to do activities together

What if your spouse no longer wants to have fun together? No more date nights. No more fun and silly activities together. Perhaps all you do is hang in front of the TV with a bag of chips in between?

This is a sign that something is going on in your relationship. It might be that stress is taking its toll, or it could be that your partner is interested in someone else. Whatever the case, it’s time to get to work and figure it out.

4. No more “I love you”

You pack your lunch for this afternoon and with a swift movement, you kiss your partner on the mouth and say goodbye. You are the first – and only one – to say “I love you. See you tonight!” Your spouse simply responds with “See you tonight!”

What is wrong in this scenario?

It seems like this can happen. And it can. Your spouse can honestly forget to say “I love you”. It is not very thoughtful of your partner. But what if this happens most of the time?

If your spouse has not said “I love you” in quite some time then something seems off.

Related Reading: 200 Ways to Say “I Love You”

5. Acting guilty when you do something nice for them

Is your spouse suddenly acting all guilty when you do something for them?

That’s quite odd, isn’t it?

Some spouses have no problem with infidelity. They can cheat on their spouses with no regrets at first. But, once the other spouse does something kind, the guilt starts creeping in.

Do not jump to conclusions just yet. It might also be that your spouse hasn’t been very thoughtful or kind to you lately and simply feels guilty about that.

Whatever the case, do keep an eye out for this behavior and talk about it.

6. Your sex life is declining or non-existent

Let’s be honest: a healthy sex life is part of any good relationship. If you or your spouse’s needs are unmet, there are chances that you or your spouse might go astray to get what you want.

How come that your sex life has become so dull or non-existent in the first place? Is it because your partner lost interest in sex? Or because your partner lost interest in you?

7. Avoiding eye contact

If your spouse doesn’t make eye contact as often anymore it could be a sign that they are rejecting any form of emotional vulnerability. People sometimes feel as if you can read their minds when you look deep into their eyes.

Although it might not be always true, it is quite possible that a spouse who keeps looking away when you make eye contact seems to be hiding something. Could it be a well-hidden secret affair?  

Well, you need to be watchful about it!

8. Being unloving or cruel

It is difficult to decipher what causes infidelity, or who cheats more. But, its easier to notice the obvious marital infidelity signs.

For example, if your spouse has lost interest in you, they can become unloving. You notice this verbally at first.

There have been instances where the spouses have gone far to being cruel. Examples are that your spouse makes fun of you when family or friends are around.  

This is a bad sign in any relationship. Try to talk about it, openly and honestly.

9. Acute new energy or the opposite, complete boredom

When your spouse is thinking about cheating on you, they probably think that their own life has become quite boring. 

So, they get tempted to set their eyes on new, exciting activities. These new activities can be anything, from going clubbing again to riding motorcycles.

It happens with both men and women: they seek thrills and danger when they need to escape from something. 

These are some of the marital infidelity signs that you must be aware of. Don’t be overly doubtful, but keep your mind open to noticing the atypical activities in your spouse’s life.

10. Extra flirtatious with the opposite sex

How to know when your spouse is cheating?

A spouse who is thinking about cheating or already cheating can be extra flirtatious with members of the opposite sex. When your spouse uncannily becomes a comedian when attractive women or men are nearby, it’s time to keep a close eye.

Men and women with low self-esteem are incredibly vulnerable to the approval of others. Laughing because of a joke is one form of approval that seems innocent, but can lead to bigger problems.

These are some of the most common marital infidelity signs that have been observed around.

But, as discussed earlier, these marital infidelity signs do not necessarily certify that your spouse is cheating on you. You need to have an eye for detail and gather enough pieces of evidence before jumping to any conclusion.

You need to be really cautious about dealing with infidelity issues because a small error in your judgment can ruin your relationship. In case of any doubts, it is advisable to seek professional help to get headway with your complicated situation.

Some more questions

Marital infidelity is a serious matter can leave an individual with several questions about their partner and future. Let’s try to answer some of the commonly asked questions about marital infidelity.

• What percentage of marriages has survived marriage infidelity?

It might surprise you at how much marriage affairs are common today. The Institute for Family Studies reported that around 20% of men and 13% of women admitted to cheating while married.

This study also found that 20-25% of marriages experience marital infidelity.

Shockingly, 60-75% of married couples who experience cheating in marriage choose to work things out and remain together.

Not everyone who fixes their marriage does this because of love and forgiveness. Some couples reconcile for their kids, or because they don’t have a place to go to, they don’t have financial stability, and they’re afraid to be alone.

• Why is marital infidelity so destructive?

When you get married, you become one with your spouse. You spend your life with this person and build intimacy, commitment, and trust. You also show your vulnerability, respect, and love. If a person commits marital infidelity, these will be broken.

This act of bitter betrayal is often unimaginable and painful. Just like that, your union, the sanctity of your marriage, has been severed.

This is just the start of the entire ordeal, as the couple will experience more challenges along the way. Marital sex after infidelity, rebuilding trust, and commitment, and loving a person who broke your heart is not that easy.

Even though infidelity isn’t the end of the marriage, it will be very hard to go back to what you used to be, making the act of cheating destructive.

• Why is there a growing number of people who accept marital infidelity?

Today, it seems like people are learning how to deal with infidelity in marriage easier, and even accepting the reality of it.

Many have asked, why is this generation more open to the fact that marital infidelity exists?

According to Alysse ElHage, in a blog for the Institute of Family Studies, pornography plays an enormous factor in why people think that infidelity is part of reality.

With the ease of access of porn, and all the categories related to it, people no longer view sexual intimacy as genuine as it should be. This would play a huge part in why temptation, flirting, and affairs have become more common and for some, even a part of their reality.

It’s your call at the end!

Marital infidelity breaks the holy bond of married couples. It severs the vows, trust, respect, and commitment that you’ve built over the years.

There could be many reasons and signs to consider before realizing that your spouse has indeed cheated. When you have proven this, the next step is to ponder if your marriage is worth saving or not.

There are also steps on how you can ensure that your marriage is as strong as ever, and with both of you working on your marriage, then you can avoid marital infidelity.

Marriage isn’t a guarantee that you’ll live happily ever after, but it’s a start where you and your spouse can work together to build a happy marriage.