10 Reasons Women Still Hold on to Cheating Husbands
Cheating or infidelity in a marriage can mean a lot of things. While there is no specific definition of cheating in marriage, it is usually understood as not holding up the expectations, promises, or terms agreed upon at the time of the wedding.
Why do people forgive or hold on to their cheating husbands?
Most people consider physical infidelity as cheating in a marriage, while others also believe in emotional cheating and micro-cheating.
Similarly, the effect of cheating on marriage is also subjective. While it may be a total deal-breaker for some people, it might seem like something they can recover from for others.
Some marriages may, unfortunately, head straight to a separation or a divorce when one or both partners cheat. However, some people still hold on to their partners and marriage, even after discovering infidelity.
Why do women still hold on to their cheating husbands?
Or why do people forgive their cheating partners?
To understand more about infidelity in marriage, watch this video.
How to tell if your husband is cheating?
“Trust your guts” is familiar, right?
It’s the perfect saying that is applicable if you want to know how to tell if your husband is cheating. You don’t get suspicious without any proof, right? If you feel that there is something wrong, then there probably is.
Often, the signs of a cheating husband may come in very subtle hints. You have to be observant and rely on your gut feeling. Most of all, be aware of the signs –
He stops wearing his wedding ring all of a sudden.
He is always busy until the wee hours of the morning, even if he is already inside the house.
Act restless, angry, or defensive when you ask about his schedule, phone, and laptop.
How to know if your husband is cheating? You’d notice that he suddenly demands privacy.
He seems very interested in your schedule, like when you would go home or if you will need to do overtime.
He starts to get irritated with you and your every move. He would also seem uninterested in any sexual or intimate moment that you shared before.
Goes home late with different excuses, such as overtime and meetings.
He suddenly becomes conscious about his appearance and begins wearing expensive colognes and lotion.
One of the most important signs your husband is cheating is when he no longer puts effort into your marriage and your children.
To know more about the signs of a cheating husband, read this article.
Ten reasons why women still hold on to their cheating husbands
There are a lot of cases where the wives of a cheating husband will still give them one more chance – then another and another.
Yes, this is a fact, and many women do this, even if it hurts, even if their hearts and pride have been disrespected many times. We might ask ourselves, how often should a woman forgive her husband, and why do women do it?
Here are the sad but common reasons why some women still hold on –
1. They are still in love
You could give him another chance because you still have feelings for him. And, because of love, one can forgive a cheating husband, not just once but many times more.
Why does a woman stay with a cheating husband? Because for them, their marriage and love are worth another try.
Dr. Jennifer Jacobsen, PhD in Psychology, says,
Women may remain in a marriage after their husband cheats, because they love their husband enough to not give up on the relationship because of infidelity.
Related Reading: 25 Signs He Still Loves You
2. They are naïve
There’s a big difference between trusting your spouse and being gullible to his excuses. You can believe the lame excuses he would use to regain your trust again. This might be why some people would be okay with staying with a cheater.
3. Because of the children
Some women would still accept their cheating husbands, even if they don’t trust them anymore, and this is just because of the children.
A mother, after all, would do everything for her children, even if it meant she had to sacrifice her pride and self-worth.
4. Because they won’t be able to survive alone
He’s a cheater but a good father and provider. This is one of the reasons that many women still hold on to their cheating husbands.
They know that being a single parent will be harder for them and their children. There are also cases where the wife has become dependent on her husband.
5. They don’t want to have a broken family
Staying in a marriage, even if your husband has cheated on you many times, is common for those who don’t want to have a broken family. Now, holding on and giving chances is the only way she can prove to her husband that their family is worth keeping.
6. Loneliness
Why do cheating husbands stay married to their wives, or why do women not leave their cheating husbands?
When people get married, they vow to be with each other for the rest of their lives. This leads to people centering their life around their partners. When infidelity in a marriage is discovered, one of the reasons why leaving a marriage or a cheating partner can become difficult is because of the fear of loneliness.
Related Reading: 11 Tips for Mental Health Issues & Loneliness in Marriage
7. Finances
Marriages are not just about love; you plan a life and family with someone. One of the reasons why someone might stay with a cheating partner is because separation or divorce can hit their finances, and it might be difficult for them to make ends meet with a single or no income.
Dr. Jacobsen states,
Unfortunately, women may feel trapped in unhealthy marriages because they are not able to support themselves financially.
Related Reading: 15 Tips to Manage Finances in Marriage
8. immigration/ professional status
For people who live in countries different from the ones they originally were in or are tied to a profession that gives them a certain status due to their marriage, it might be difficult for them to walk out of the marriage, even in case of infidelity or cheating.
9. The family does not agree
Sometimes, someone might want to walk out of a marriage, but their family does not agree. While the family’s approval may not be crucial for some people, it can be vital for some.
Religious, spiritual, or other reasons may cause the family not to support a member’s decision for divorce.
10. They believe they can get through it
Leaving a cheating husband is not the easiest thing to do.
Some people do not see infidelity as a deal breaker, which might be why a woman still holds on to their cheating husband.
People might also believe that infidelity can make the marriage stronger.
Will you forgive a cheating husband?
Now, what if you find yourself on the verge of deciding to let go or give your cheating spouse another chance? Which one would you take? Before making a decision, ask yourself if you know how to forgive a cheating husband and if you are ready for it, then give your word that you’ll give him another chance.
The key here is to have the needed time for you to think.
Don’t rush into making a decision; most of all, don’t base your decision on other people’s comments.
Know yourself and your self-worth. Understand that this may be the first time he’ll do it.
Are you willing to take the risk? Remember, your decision will not just affect you or your partner. It will affect your family, your kids, and your vows.
A cheating husband may deserve your forgiveness, but not all cheaters will deserve a second chance in love and family.
All we do has consequences, and we should be ready to face them if we are brave enough to commit adultery.
How to stay strong and deal with a cheating husband
Have you recently witnessed another secret message or kiss mark on your husband?
It’s not old news. You may have dealt with this issue before, but you may have chosen to give your spouse another chance. Now, months or even years later, you find yourself in the same situation.
You find your husband cheating again. But how to deal with a cheating husband that you still love? Is it right to give him yet another chance to hurt you again? How to move on from a cheating husband?
We must remember that a cheating husband will always be tempted to repeat the same action, especially once he sees that you will still be there for him no matter what.
Though, you have to ask yourself, how long should you hold on to a relationship of lies and infidelity?
To learn more about staying strong and dealing with a cheating husband, read this article.
FAQs
Here are some frequently asked questions about why women still hold on to their cheating husbands.
1. How does being cheated on affect a woman?
Cheating or infidelity can harm a person’s mental and physical health. Chronic anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and trust issues are common problems people face when they have been cheated on.
2. Should you stay with a partner who cheats?
Whether or not you should stay with a partner who cheats is a choice only the people in the relationship should make. Cheating or infidelity can break a relationship, but it only depends on whether or not they can forgive their cheating partner and if they can start fresh.
The takeaway
The article above mentions the many reasons why some people hold on to their cheating partners even after discovering infidelity or cheating. While some people may find it easy to forgive their partner and move on from the relationship’s setback, others might view this as a deal-breaker.
However, whether or not you decide to stay in the marriage, you may need marital counseling or professional help to deal with the consequences of cheating.
We've been married for 50 years, but we're not intimate. He cheated and fell in love with another woman, but ended it when I found out. Nothing has changed at home, and he's buried in his work. Is he happy?
Jenni Jacobsen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Expert Answer
It sounds like he may have some pretty significant stress at work. Or, he might be unhappy in the marriage and using work as a distraction. When there is no intimacy in a marriage, combined with an affair, that suggests something is off. You need to sit down and have an honest conversation with him about how he's feeling about the marriage, and where he'd like things to go in the future. Cutting off the affair is a big step, but it sounds like you still need to rebuild the marriage.
Share your valuable relationship tips with +5 million people
Share this article on
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.