21 Ways to Stop Falling in Love With the Wrong Person Every Time

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If you are finding that you are falling in love with the wrong person, this is likely something you’d like to change. There are ways to do this. Read this article to learn more about what you can do, so you’ll have a better chance of finding the right person for you.

Can you fall in love with the wrong person?

Falling in love with the wrong person is something that can happen to anyone. You may have noticed someone and wanted to get to know them, and you ended up dating and fell in love.

This doesn’t mean they are the one for you. There are many signs along the way that might have told you what kind of a person they were, and you ignored them. If the partner you are with has done things that you don’t like or sometimes behaved unacceptably, this may mean you are dating the wrong person.

Related Reading: 20 Signs He’s Not the One for You

What happens when you fall in love with the wrong person?

If you fall in love with the wrong person, you may be in a relationship where your needs are going unmet. They may not be treating you well, or you might be putting more into the relationship than the other person is. 

This could lead to you feeling unhappy and unappreciated, affecting your self-worth. If you have low self-worth, you may not feel like you are worthy of someone loving you. This is not true, however.

Keep in mind that sometimes it’s better to be alone than with the wrong person, especially if your partner treats you in a way that makes you uncomfortable. When you are by yourself, this gives you a chance to learn more about your likes and interests.  

Why are we attracted to the wrong person?

There are a few reasons you may be choosing the wrong person. You could feel like you aren’t worthy of love or that the way you are getting treated by an individual is what you deserve. Again, you must work on your self-esteem and self-worth if you wish to change this.

Next time you wonder why I keep choosing the wrong man, think about what all of these men have in common. If they treat you badly or are unable to provide for your emotional needs, it may be time to find a mate that will remedy these issues for you.

You must consider if you are in a healthy relationship if you feel in love with the wrong person. A healthy pairing will have trust, strong communication, and you will feel safe and respected as well. If you do not see these traits in your relationship, you should decide what you want to do to change things.

Check out this video for more details on why you could be attracted to the wrong person.

21 ways to stop falling for the wrong person every time

When you are trying your best to stop falling for the wrong person, these tips may be able to lend a hand. If you are tired of asking yourself how to get over the wrong person, this may be a list you need to take notes on.

1. See people for who they are

When you find you are falling for the wrong person, you need to make sure that you see someone for who they really are. They may be attractive and say nice things to you, but do they treat you like their equal as well?

Make sure that you aren’t sugar-coating your relationship. If there are things that don’t feel right to you, be honest about them.

Related Reading: 10 Signs That Indicate That Your Partner Is a Pathological Liar

2. Don’t let your loneliness dictate your relationships

At times, you may be falling in love with the wrong person because you are feeling lonely. This happens, and you don’t have to beat yourself up about it. At the same time, you shouldn’t be in a relationship just because you are lonely. 

Instead, take some time to find out who you are and what you like. This will be helpful when the right partner comes along.

Related Reading: 15 Signs of Loneliness in a Relationship and How to Deal With It

3. Figure out what you want for yourself

It is also a good idea to figure out what you want for yourself. In other words, determine what you want and need out of a relationship. Refrain from dating people that won’t meet the mark for you or are unwilling to compromise, so you are both able to get what you want.

According to Christiana Njoku, a licensed professional counselor:

If you do not know what you want in a relationship, be ready to accept anything, whether it is what you want or not.

When your partner will not let you have your way sometimes, and everything is one-sided, this is how to know if you’re with the wrong person. An individual who respected you would be fair.

4. Work on your self-esteem

Since your self-esteem may be the reason you think, “I fell in love with the wrong person,” this is something that you should work on. If you have suffered past trauma or abuse, it can be beneficial to work with a therapist about these issues. 

Taking advantage of therapy of this type can make a difference in how you approach diverse situations and assist in learning how to feel better about yourself.

5. Refrain from trying to change yourself

You should never try to change yourself when you are in a relationship. If you don’t know what you like and dislike, it is okay to learn new things, even while dating someone. 

However, when you love the wrong person, it may be more difficult to know your interests, and you might be more focused on what your partner likes. In an equal relationship, both parties should do things that they like. 

One person shouldn’t dictate everything the other person is able to do and where they can go.

6. Don’t try to change others either

You shouldn’t try to change someone else either. If you find yourself loving the wrong person, you may not notice right away that there are traits they exhibit that you don’t like. 

At this point, it is unlikely that they will change these aspects of their personality. When you notice that you are unable to deal with some of these things anymore, you need to determine what you want to do about the situation. 

Are they actions you can look past, or do you want to end your relationship?

7. Remember that actions are more powerful than words

Once you find yourself being with the wrong person, you might think that eventually, everything is going to be okay. Perhaps they say that they will work on things that you don’t like, or they promise that they will treat you better. 

You must remember that actions are more powerful than just words. If your partner has promised they would do things for you and they never delivered on them, this is something for you to consider.

8. Know that you can have fun alone too

You do not need a partner to have fun. If you aren’t currently dating someone, it may be an excellent time to learn something new or start a hobby. You can also take steps to address your health and wellness. 

When you are focusing on bettering yourself, you probably won’t have much time to worry about dating. Moreover, it may prevent you from falling in love with the wrong person because you are trying to figure out your needs and wants.

Related Reading: 15 Tips on How to Be Single and Happy

9. Learn how to communicate better

In some cases, you might need to learn how to communicate better for a few reasons. One is to tell your current partner what you want, need, and expect from them. Another is to speak up when you don’t agree with something.

Communication is key in any relationship, so working on this skill can prevent fights and allow you to have your opinion heard.

10. Be realistic about your expectations

The real world isn’t like a fairy tale. You shouldn’t expect your partner to have characteristics that aren’t possible. At the same time, this doesn’t mean that you have to sell yourself short. 

If there are things that you need in a mate, you don’t have to discount them because you are falling in love with the wrong person. Take the time you need to find someone who is a good match for you.

Related Reading: Setting Realistic Expectations When Looking for MR. or Mrs. Right

11. Don’t let fear keep you with someone that’s not right for you

You may also need to work on how you talk to people so you won’t be scared to speak with a person you like or want to date. 

Even if you are shy or feel anxious when you are around someone you are interested in, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t talk to them. This may be someone that you are compatible with. 

Reach out to an individual you have a crush on and see what happens. After you talk to them, you may not be fearful anymore.

Also Try: Do I Have Social Anxiety Disorder Quiz  

12. Make sure you are getting something out of the relationship

Oftentimes if a person is falling in love with the wrong person, they won’t be getting much out of the relationship. Consider if yours is like this. Determine what you are getting out of your partnership and if this is enough for you. 

If it isn’t, talk to your partner and see what they are willing to change or if they mind discussing things with you. If they refuse to budge, it is up to you to decide what your next step is.

13. Take your time finding a partner

You should never rush into any relationship. It takes time to learn enough about a person to feel comfortable with them. This is also the case when you tend to fall in love with the wrong person. 

When you first meet someone, talk to them as much as possible so that you can glean relevant details out of them. Make sure that you are paying attention and that there aren’t a lot of issues that you disagree with them on, since this can tell you if you should be in a relationship with them or not.

14. Listen to your gut

Intuition is a powerful thing. You may suspect or feel that you have been falling in love with the wrong person, but you ignored it. Then after a while, you may have realized that they aren’t the one for you. 

Do your best not to ignore these feelings, since they could be protecting you and your heart from getting hurt.

Related Reading: Gut Instinct in Relationships: How to Trust Your Intuition

15. Ask others for advice

It is okay to ask others for advice on relationships. If you know someone who has been married for years or you have friends in happy couples, you may be able to learn a few things from them. 

As a relationship coach, Christiana Njoku noted that:

In the midst of finding clarity about the state of your relationship, choose to speak with those who are highly experienced in that regard.

Be sure to ask questions on aspects that you are unsure about, and they will likely be able to lend a hand. Having multiple points of view on a subject may help it make more sense to you.

16. Don’t go for bad matches

Make sure that you aren’t dating someone just because you want to be in a relationship. If you are dating people you don’t like or have nothing in common with, you could get hurt. 

Instead, take the time to find someone that you like. Falling in love with the wrong person could leave you feeling jaded, where you cannot see the right person when they come along. You’d probably like to avoid this if you can.

17. Try not to go back to exes

You shouldn’t run back to your exes either. They are your exes for a reason in most instances, and they weren’t a good fit for you. 

You owe it to yourself to see what else is out there. If you don’t know where to turn, you may want to consider online dating apps, where you can meet people and talk to them a while before you intend to meet in person. 

This can provide an opportunity to get to know them.

Also Try: Should I Get Back With My Ex Quiz 

18. Have your own interests

Be sure that you are aware of things you like. If you don’t have any interests of your own, you should find out what you enjoy and what pleases you. There’s no right answer since everyone’s tastes are different. 

Perhaps you like to eat ice cream out of the carton and watch cooking shows. These things are fine. It is okay to tell your mate these are things you like. They should be able to accept them when you accept the things they do.

19. Change your dating habits

If you have been dating people that weren’t good for you, it may be time to rethink how you are dating. Perhaps you met your last few boyfriends through blind dates. 

Reconsider going on any more blind dates. You may have better luck meeting someone by yourself.

20. Don’t beg someone to date you

There might be times when you want to date someone, and they don’t feel the same way. You shouldn’t beg a person to date you.

This is likely not a proper way to begin a relationship, and you may always wonder if they were just taking pity on you.

Related Reading: How to Date Someone: 15 Best Dating Rules & Tips

21. Only date available people

It is never a good idea to try to date someone that isn’t available. If someone is already in a relationship or is married, you should consider them off-limits and leave them alone.

You can’t ask yourself why you fall in love with the wrong person when you fall for a person who can’t give you the things you need. Keep this in mind when checking out prospective partners or in-between relationships.

What do you do when you fall in love with the wrong person?

When you are falling in love with the wrong person or have already fallen in love with them, you have to determine what you want to do. If you are willing to make it work and sacrifice things that you like and need, this is your choice to make.

You can talk to your mate and see if you can compromise with each other. It may be possible.

However, when you aren’t getting the things you need out of your relationship and your mate isn’t willing to make any changes, you should consider other options. 

It may be time to end the relationship and find out more about yourself or start dating someone new. Remember that there should be no rush to get into another pairing; you can take your time.

Related Reading: 6 Compromises in a Relationship Needed for a Healthy Marriage

Conclusion

Once you find that you are habitually falling in love with the wrong person, this doesn’t have to be the end of it. There are things you can do to change this. 

Consider these tips above and put some thought into working with a therapist for further support. They may help you determine why you are falling for the wrong people and additional techniques to change this.