20+ Telling Signs He Doesn’t Want to Marry You

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It is pretty common for people to aspire to get married someday, and so it is natural for marriage to be your ultimate goal if you are in a long-term or committed relationship.

When you have been in a relationship for several years, and it doesn’t seem to be progressing toward marriage, you may even begin to worry, “Will he ever propose?”

If you are in this situation and wondering if it’s time to reevaluate the relationship, the common signs he doesn’t want to marry you can be helpful.

What are the signs that a man doesn’t want to marry you?

“Signs he doesn’t want to marry you” refers to observable behaviors and attitudes that may indicate a man is not interested in getting married to his current partner.

When women are confused with thoughts of “My boyfriend doesn’t want to marry me”, they should pay attention to these minor details.

Signs that a man may not be interested in marrying you often involve an avoidance of commitment-related conversations. If he doesn’t discuss future plans, becomes emotionally distant, or continues to date other people, these actions can indicate a lack of commitment. 

It’s important to remember that not every man who displays these signs is entirely against marriage. People have different timelines and comfort levels when it comes to commitment. Open and honest communication is your key.

Why is it important to be aware of these signs?

Being aware of these signs he doesn’t want to marry you is crucial because it helps you navigate your relationship with empathy and self-respect. It’s about understanding your own needs and desires in a partnership. 

By recognizing these signs he doesn’t want to marry you, you can make informed decisions about your future. It’s not just about protecting yourself from potential heartache; it’s also about respecting your own goals and aspirations.

Moreover, awareness allows for open and honest communication. Instead of making assumptions or letting uncertainty fester, addressing these concerns can lead to healthier relationships. 

It offers both partners the opportunity to discuss their hopes and expectations and to either work on mutual goals or find more compatible paths. Ultimately, being aware of these signs empowers you to make choices that are in line with your long-term happiness and well-being.

20+ signs he doesn’t want to marry you

There is no need to panic if you have been dating for over six months and haven’t had a proposal yet, but if it has been years and years without a ring, you might be justified in wondering, “Will he ever marry me?”

If you’re starting to question the relationship and worry that he won’t marry you, look out for the following signs:

1. He doesn’t move the relationship forward

When guys are interested in marriage, they will take advantage of the opportunity to move the relationship to the next stage. For example, after you have been together for a year or so, it is normal to move in together. 

If his lease ends and he moves in with a roommate, or he gets a new place of his own instead of taking the opportunity to get a place with you, this can be one of the signs he doesn’t want to marry you. 

Or, maybe you have been together for several years, and you have never been on vacation together. If he isn’t taking these steps with you, it’s among the pretty clear signs that he won’t marry you anytime soon. 

2. He’s told you he doesn’t ever plan to get married

This probably goes without being said, but if a guy tells you he has no intention of ever getting married, he’s probably being honest.

Some people simply don’t desire to get married. Maybe they saw their own parents’ marriage turn sour, or for whatever reason, they don’t think marriage is necessary.

If this is the case, it is one of the signs he doesn’t want to marry you and probably never will.

3. He downplays the seriousness of your relationship 

If you two have been together for months, but he tells people you aren’t that serious, or he refuses to acknowledge that you are dating in public, this is one of the clear signs he doesn’t want to marry you.

It suggests that he’s not proud of the relationship, and if he feels this way, he isn’t going to publicly profess his love by marrying you. This can be subtle, but still one of the signs he will never marry you.

4. You haven’t met his family

If he’s made a point of introducing you to his family and seems to care what they think, this is an indicator of how to know if he wants to marry you.

It is rare for a man to get married without first introducing his potential wife to the family, so if you have been together for a while and haven’t met the family, marriage is probably off the table. 

Psychologist Mert Şeker explains it this way: 

Let’s say you met your boyfriend’s family. So how do they treat you? Curious, interested, like a bride-to-be? If he is planning a marriage with you, he has probably already told them that he is planning to marry you.

This is one of the most important signs he doesn’t want to marry you, but on the contrary, it can be said that this situation will not indicate marriage, even if he introduced you to his family. A reluctant introduction can also be one of the signs he’ll never marry you.

5. He becomes defensive when you ask about the future 

It’s normal to talk about future plans in a long-term relationship. If he becomes angry or defensive when you bring up your future together, this suggests he is feeling pretty conflicted about it. It can be one of the signs he will not marry you.

It probably means that he can sense that you want to talk about marriage, which makes him feel pressured because he doesn’t want to get married.

6. He makes continuous excuses not to get married 

If you’re wondering, “Will he ever ask me to marry him?” but he keeps making excuses not to get married, the answer is probably no. It is normal to want to be financially stable before marriage.

Still, if he has landed a big promotion and is doing well but then makes another excuse not to get married, this is a pretty clear indicator that marriage isn’t in his plans.

Maybe his first excuse was that he needed to be making more money, but once he gets a raise, his next excuse is that he wants to own a house.

After that, he may say that he needs to wait until he can afford a destination wedding. When there is one excuse after another, he is avoiding asking you to marry him.

7. He refuses to talk about marriage or changes the topic

If a man knows he doesn’t want to get married but wants to avoid an argument, he will refuse to discuss the issue altogether. He knows that it will only upset you, so he would rather avoid the conversation than rock the boat.

Changing the topic or refusing to discuss marriage is one of the key signs he doesn’t want to marry you. 

8. You’ve been together for a long time and have no signs of proposing 

If you’ve been together so long that you start to wonder, “Will he ever propose?” and he doesn’t seem to respond to any of your hints that you’d like to get married, this is a good sign that he may not be interested in marriage.

Maybe you’ve been together for years and have even lived together for part of that time, and you’ve watched several mutual friends get married, but he continues to not pop the question.

9. He seems unconcerned about the future 

When you discuss your future plans, such as your intention to go back to school or move for a job, he seems entirely uninterested, or he makes plans for his future without including you in them at all.

This shows that he doesn’t see you as being part of his life long-term, and it is likely that he won’t marry you.

10. He detaches from you emotionally 

When a man is truly connected to a woman and wants her to be a permanent part of his life, he will allow her to be close to him.

A man who is willing to be vulnerable with you sees a future with you, so if he is building up walls and distancing from you emotionally, he doesn’t see you as wife material.

11. He lives like a single man

If you’re wondering why guys don’t want to get married, it is because some of them want to enjoy the freedom of the bachelor lifestyle.

If he is still living like he is in college, going out to bars, drinking, and flirting with other women, this is one of the signs he doesn’t want to marry you.

He may spend all his time hanging out with the guys or prefer to spend time mostly with single people who aren’t in committed relationships. He simply isn’t ready to settle down.

12. He proposes but then makes no additional plans

So, he’s popped the question, but then he avoids all talk of the wedding or refuses to set a date, reserve a venue, or plan for who will be in the wedding.

This suggests that he proposed because he thought it was something he had to do or because he wanted to keep the peace, but he has no intentions of actually getting married to you. 

13. He drops hints that suggest he doesn’t want to get married 

If you’re looking for ways to learn how to know if he wants to marry you, listen to what he says. If he won’t marry you, he’s probably going to drop hints that point to this fact.

For example, he may make comments about not wanting to rush into a serious relationship, or he may comment on how young the two of you are. 

14. He claims that he just doesn’t know if he’s ready

If you have been together for years and he claims that he doesn’t know if he’s ready to marry you, the chances are that he knows you’re not the one, and he won’t marry you.

Most people know early on, around six months, if their partner is the one for them, so if he still isn’t sure, it means he doesn’t see you as his future wife.

15. You have to keep dropping hints 

When you drop hints about marriage, but he continues to not propose, this suggests that he just isn’t interested.

One of the ways to learn how to know if he wants to marry you is that you won’t have to force him. He will want to ask you to be his wife, and you won’t have to beg him with seemingly endless hints.

16. There is no sign of you on social media 

If he makes no mention of you on his account, he may want to appear single, and it’s a pretty good sign that he isn’t ready to commit to you.

17. You constantly feel insecure in the relationship 

When you’ve met your life partner, the relationship should make you feel secure and safe.

If you’re always feeling insecure in the relationship, this is your sign that he won’t marry you.

However, if a man trusts his partner in everything, including work, or is thinking of a future with them, he can share his business plans and business life with his partner quite easily, moreover, often.

18. He only cares about his sexual needs 

A man who loves you and sees you as his future wife will want to satisfy you in bed. If he seems to use you for sex and doesn’t care whether you get any pleasure out of it, this is not a man who plans to marry you. 

19. It’s clear you’re not a priority in his life

If you seem to be just an option in his life, meaning he only wants to hang out when other friends aren’t available, or he doesn’t have better plans, this is one of the top signs he doesn’t want to marry you.

When a man is invested in a future with a woman, he will make her a priority because he won’t want to lose her.

If you get the feeling you just aren’t a priority, this man does not plan for a future with you and is probably just riding out his time with you until he finds someone he feels is his long-term partner.

Psychologist Mert Şeker sheds more light on this when he points out that

If your boyfriend doesn’t come to you without making excuses during difficult times or if he claims that he has more important things to do when you reach out to him for help, it means he doesn’t care much about your situation.

He may be acting like an ordinary person and not his future wife because he doesn’t plan to build a future with you.

20. He has countless stories about “crazy” ex-girlfriends 

If he has had numerous failed relationships and blames all of his ex-girlfriends for being crazy, it could be that he is actually the one with the problem.

Perhaps he failed to commit to them, and instead of accepting that his hesitation to get married was the problem, he has to turn the blame on the women.

If you’ve read through these signs and still aren’t sure if he will ever marry you, take the “Will He Ever Marry Me Quiz.” You may also be interested in the “Who Will Marry You Quiz.”

21. He fails to support your career goals

One of the essential aspects of a healthy, long-term relationship is mutual support in personal growth and life goals. When a partner fails to support your career aspirations, it can be indicative of a lack of commitment. It suggests that he may not see your future together as a priority. 

22. There’s always a lack of effort in anniversary celebrations

Anniversaries in a relationship are symbolic milestones that provide opportunities to celebrate your journey together and reinforce the emotional connection. When there’s a consistent lack of effort in marking these occasions, it might signify disinterest in cherishing and nurturing the relationship. 

What should you do if you think your partner may not want to marry you?

Before you decide how to proceed if your boyfriend or partner doesn’t want to marry you, keep in mind that what makes a guy want to marry you has to do with more than what you offer. 

If he won’t marry you, it doesn’t mean you are not worthy of love or marriage.

Many of the reasons men choose not to get married have to do with their own preferences and values. They may fear commitment, or because of witnessing failed marriages growing up, they may have a negative view of marriage.

Some men simply don’t believe in marriage or would rather keep their options open and enjoy a single life for as long as possible. None of this has anything to do with you.

Once you have recognized that his hesitation to get married has to do with his own issues and not with you, it is time to decide what you will do next.

If marriage is important to you, you shouldn’t have to give up on the marriage and life you want simply to stick with someone who is never going to marry you.

If there are minor issues to be worked out, such as a conflict between the two of you or fears that he has surrounding marriage, you may be able to work through them with counseling or relationship coaching to help him become ready for marriage.

Ultimately, if you have waited for several years with no proposal and you want to get married, you may have to have a frank discussion with your partner. 

Sit down and explain that marriage is important to you, and if this is not something he sees for the two of you in the near future, you may have some differences that cannot be resolved.

It may be helpful to consult with friends or family for advice before having this conversation.

Commonly asked questions

In matters of the heart, we often seek clarity and guidance to understand where we stand in a relationship. This can get even more complicated when a partner is not committed enough or is not willing to settle down. 

• What are the signs that a man is serious about you?

A man who is serious about you will prioritize spending time together, openly communicate about the future, and express his feelings honestly. 

He’ll show respect and consideration for your emotions, and his actions will consistently align with his words. Trust your instincts and observe if he makes efforts to build a deeper connection.

• What are the red flags in a relationship?

Red flags in a relationship include consistent dishonesty, lack of communication, emotional or physical abuse, controlling behavior, disrespect, and disregard for boundaries. If your partner repeatedly disrespects your feelings, ignores your needs, or exhibits manipulative tendencies, it’s time to evaluate the health of the relationship.

• How do you know if a man is playing you?

Signs that a man might be playing you include inconsistency in communication and behavior, avoiding commitment discussions, dating multiple people simultaneously, and not involving you in his personal life. If you feel like he’s keeping you at arm’s length, it’s essential to have an open and honest conversation about your expectations.

• What are the signs that a man is not ready for marriage?

Signs that a man is not ready for marriage include avoidance of discussions about the future, reluctance to make long-term plans, hesitance to meet each other’s families, and keeping financial matters separate. 

If he consistently sidesteps the idea of marriage or isn’t enthusiastic about building a shared future, it may indicate a lack of readiness. You may wonder, “Why won’t he marry me when everything is going fine?” while he is stuck in his thoughts about you.

• How do you talk to your partner about marriage?

Start the conversation by choosing a comfortable, private setting. Express your feelings and desires honestly, emphasizing that you value the relationship and want to discuss its future. Listen to your partner’s thoughts and be open to compromise. 

Communication is key; it’s a chance for both of you to align your expectations and understand each other’s viewpoints on marriage.

Making the wise decision 

It can be upsetting when you notice some of the signs he doesn’t want to marry you.

If you recognize these signs and have been in a relationship for several years, it may be safe to conclude that your boyfriend isn’t interested in marriage.

You will have to decide whether you are okay staying in this relationship or whether marriage is important enough to you that you are willing to go through the temporary pain of a breakup so that you can eventually find the person you were meant to spend your life with.