15 Signs of Emotional Bullying in Relationships & Ways to Deal

It doesn’t always show up as yelling or name-calling. Sometimes, it’s quiet—just a look, a sigh, a comment that lingers.

You start questioning yourself… Was that okay? Am I overreacting? And bit by bit, the person you used to be feels farther away.

You may find yourself walking on eggshells, avoiding topics, shrinking your needs just to “keep the peace.”

It’s confusing, isn’t it?

Especially when the person claims to love you, when they do kind things, too, but something still feels off.

There are signs of emotional bullying that don’t leave physical bruises but leave marks all the same. And no, you’re not imagining it. There’s a pattern.

And the moment you start noticing it?

That’s when something inside you begins to shift… maybe even heal.

What is emotional bullying in a relationship?

Emotional bullying in a relationship is a form of emotional abuse where one partner consistently undermines the other through intimidation, manipulation, and criticism.

Going by the emotional bullying definition, this behavior can include belittling remarks, mocking, and isolation tactics that aim to diminish the victim’s self-esteem and sense of autonomy.

Unlike physical abuse, emotional bullying is not always overt and can be masked as sarcasm or “just being honest,” making it hard to recognize. The goal is to control or dominate the other person, leading them to feel helpless and worthless.

15 signs of emotional bullying in relationships & ways to deal

Emotional bullying in relationships can be hard to spot—it often shows up in quiet, manipulative ways that slowly chip away at your confidence and sense of self. Noticing these behaviors is the first step toward reclaiming your emotional space and restoring mutual respect.

Here are 15 signs of emotional bullying that may suggest you’re facing this hidden form of bullying, with healing steps to learn how to stop emotional bullying.

1. Your opinions are regularly dismissed

In cases of emotional bullying, it’s common for the bully to diminish the value of your opinions. This can be particularly damaging as it directly impacts your confidence and self-respect. 

If you find that your ideas and feelings are consistently trivialized or ignored, it’s a significant red flag that your emotional input is not being valued as it should be.

Here is how to deal with it:

• Gently restate your viewpoint and express how it feels when it’s ignored.
• Keep a journal of repeated dismissals to help validate your experience.
• Seek outside perspective (friend, therapist) to help you re-anchor your self-worth.

2. You’re constantly criticized

Constant criticism is a form of emotional abuse that can erode self-esteem. It might involve criticism about trivial matters, such as your choice of clothes or your cooking, or more significant aspects, like your career choices or your family. 

The relentless scrutiny can lead to a profound sense of inadequacy and doubt about your own worth and abilities.

Here is how to deal with it:

• Identify patterns and separate constructive feedback from personal attacks.
• Calmly assert your boundaries—”I’m open to feedback, not insults.”
• Engage in self-affirming practices to rebuild confidence (like daily affirmations).

3. You feel the need to walk on eggshells

If you’re always cautious about your actions or words for fear of triggering a negative response from your partner, it indicates an unhealthy dynamic. This is one of the signs of emotional bullying that points to an environment where verbal bullying has become the norm.

According to Grady Shumway, LMHC:

Feeling like you have to tiptoe around your partner is not a sign of love; it is a signal that your emotional safety is being compromised and deserves attention.

This perpetual state of anxiety prevents you from being yourself, stifling your ability to express your thoughts and emotions freely.

Here is how to deal with it:

• Track situations that trigger this feeling to better understand the pattern.
• Use grounding techniques (deep breathing, pauses) before responding.
• Share your feelings with someone you trust to gain emotional clarity.

4. They use silent treatment as punishment

Utilizing the silent treatment to punish is a tactic that emotional bullies use to exert control and instill a feeling of helplessness in their partners. 

This method of covert bullying isolates you emotionally, making you feel abandoned and desperate to mend the relationship, often at the cost of your own dignity and mental health.

Here is how to deal with it:

• Avoid begging for attention—respect your own silence, too.
• When they re-engage, calmly express how the silence affected you.
• Consider setting limits around communication avoidance in future conflicts.

5. They are overly controlling

Emotional bullying often involves excessive control over the victim’s life. This could manifest as restrictions on your social interactions, financial decisions, or even personal choices like dressing or eating habits.

Such controlling behavior is suffocating and can sever your connections to others and your individuality, reinforcing dependency on the abuser.

Here is how to deal with it:

• Reclaim small freedoms (e.g., independent purchases, time with friends).
• Firmly assert your right to make personal decisions.
• Consult a counselor or support group if fear of retaliation exists.

6. They use threats to intimidate you

Threatening to take away something important, such as threatening to end the relationship or expose secrets, is a common tactic in emotional abuse. 

These threats are used to manipulate and coerce you into submission, establishing a power imbalance in the relationship where you feel perpetually vulnerable and obliged to comply with your partner’s demands.

Here is how to deal with it:

• Document the threats in a secure place if you feel unsafe.
• Stay calm; avoid reacting emotionally to the intimidation.
• Seek professional or legal support if threats escalate.

7. They belittle your accomplishments

If your successes are met with sarcasm or disdain rather than joy or pride, you’re likely dealing with emotional bullying. This tactic is designed to keep you questioning your abilities and achievements.

By undermining your accomplishments, the bully maintains an upper hand and prevents you from feeling confident and independent.

Here is how to deal with it:

• Celebrate your wins—privately or with people who truly support you.
• Gently call out the behavior: “That comment felt dismissive.”
• Reflect on your achievements regularly to rebuild your self-image.

8. You feel isolated from friends and family

Emotional bullies often try to cut you off from your close relationships, making it easier to control you. It is one of the common signs of emotional bullying.

By criticizing the people you care about or making unreasonable demands on your time, they slowly push your support network away. This isolation can make you more dependent on them, which increases their influence and control over you.

Here is how to deal with it:

• Reconnect with at least one trusted friend or family member.
• Create regular “alone time” that includes positive social contact.
• Be honest with loved ones about why you’ve pulled away.

9. They use guilt trips

Utilizing guilt as a tool, emotional bullies manipulate by making you feel responsible for their happiness or well-being.

They may blame you for their bad moods, mistakes, or problems that are not your fault, creating a sense that you owe them constant attention or reparations.

Here is how to deal with it:

• Learn to say “no” without over-explaining or apologizing.
• Identify when guilt is appropriate and when it’s being weaponized.
• Set boundaries like “I’m not responsible for how you choose to feel.”

10. They gaslight you

Gaslighting is a powerful form of emotional manipulation used to sow seeds of doubt in your perceptions and memories. By denying that events occurred or by accusing you of overreacting, they can make you question your sanity.

This relational aggression undermines your confidence in your judgment and reality, keeping you uncertain and controlled, making it one of the signs of emotional bullying.

Here is how to deal with it:

• Write down events in real time to track your truth.
• Trust your intuition even when it’s challenged.
• Share your experiences with someone outside the relationship.

11. You often feel humiliated

Regular humiliation is a tactic used to break down your self-esteem and assert dominance.

These humiliations can be blatant or veiled as jokes, comments on your abilities, or criticisms about your character, whether in private or in front of others. This continuous belittlement makes it difficult to maintain your self-respect and assertiveness.

Here is how to deal with it:

• Speak up when comments cross the line: “That felt disrespectful.”
• Practice self-compassion and positive self-talk afterward.
• Remove yourself from conversations or spaces that demean you.

12. Your partner is hot and cold

A partner who switches unpredictably between warmth and coldness may be engaging in a form of emotional bullying.

This erratic behavior keeps you on edge and creates a psychological dependency, as you find yourself constantly trying to manage their moods and win their approval or affection.

Here is how to deal with it:

• Notice emotional cycles—track patterns of highs and lows.
• Focus on your emotional regulation rather than theirs.
• Reflect: Is this consistency something you want in the long term?

13. They make you question your own worth

Emotional bullies can plant the idea that you are inherently lacking or unworthy through relentless criticism and demeaning remarks.

Grady Shumway highlights that:

No one has the right to make you doubt your worth. If someone’s words consistently tear you down, it is time to protect your self-respect and consider what you truly deserve.

This steady erosion of your self-esteem can leave you feeling grateful for any positive attention from them and less likely to believe you deserve better treatment.

Here is how to deal with it:

• Repeat self-affirming truths daily (e.g., “I am enough as I am”).
• Limit your exposure to their toxic feedback where possible.
• Surround yourself with people who lift you up, not tear you down.

14. They make all the decisions

If your partner consistently makes decisions without considering your views, they are exercising control over the relationship. This could range from small choices like where to eat to significant life decisions like moving or buying a house.

Their disregard for your opinions not only marginalizes you but also solidifies their authority and your subservience.

Here is how to deal with it:

• Start asserting your input on small decisions first.
• Communicate clearly: “This affects both of us, and I want a say.”
• Reflect on whether shared power exists in other areas, too.

15. You feel trapped and exhausted

Feeling trapped in a relationship, especially one characterized by emotional bullying, can be both mentally and emotionally exhausting.

This exhaustion is often the result of continuous emotional turmoil and manipulation, which depletes your energy and leaves you feeling helpless and stuck.

Here is how to deal with it:

• Acknowledge your exhaustion as a valid signal, not a weakness.
• Create an emotional exit plan, even if just mentally, for now.
• Seek professional help to explore safe, empowering next steps.

Can emotional bullies change their behavior?

Emotional bullies can change—but only if they truly want to. Change doesn’t happen because you love them enough, stay long enough, or explain things “just right.”

It happens when they take full responsibility, seek support, and commit to unlearning harmful behaviors. That kind of growth takes time, humility, and consistency, not just apologies after outbursts.

And you?

You’re not responsible for fixing them. You deserve safety, kindness, and peace—even if they’re still learning how to offer them. Real change shows up in actions, not just words.

Watch this video in which Katie Hood, ex-CEO of One Love Foundation, explains the difference between healthy and unhealthy love:

What are the key differences between normal conflict and emotional bullying?

Not every disagreement means you’re being bullied—conflict is a normal part of any close relationship. The difference lies in how it feels, how it’s handled, and what it does to you over time. Healthy conflict can be uncomfortable, sure, but it also invites growth, repair, and understanding.

Emotional bullying?

It chips away at you… slowly, quietly, and often without resolution. Here’s a gentle side-by-side look to help you tell them apart:

Normal conflict	Emotional bullying
Disagreements are specific and situational	Patterns of control, criticism, or manipulation emerge
Both people have space to speak and be heard	One person dominates while the other feels silenced
Emotions run high, but respect stays intact	Words and actions are used to belittle, shame, or punish
There's a desire to understand and resolve	There's a desire to win, control, or hurt
Ends with compromise, clarity, or repair	Ends with confusion, silence, or emotional exhaustion
You feel safe bringing things up again	You feel anxious, scared, or “crazy” for speaking up

You deserve peace and clarity

You deserve peace and clarity—not a life spent second-guessing your worth, your words, or your reality. If you’ve recognized some of these signs of emotional bullying, know that your feelings are valid… and you’re not “too sensitive” for noticing them.

Change is possible, but so is choosing yourself—whether that means setting firmer boundaries, seeking support, or slowly reclaiming your space. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, and that’s okay.

You’re allowed to take small, quiet steps toward safety and self-respect. And if no one’s told you this yet: you are worthy of kindness, steady love, and a relationship that feels safe to live in.