Chriselda Santos
Registered Psychotherapist | Claimed

Does your relationship lack effective communication skills? Couples counseling can help. When living in close proximity to each other, our personal problems don’t remain personal for long, as they can very quickly escalate into something that negatively impacts everyone. This seems to be especially true with our intimate relationships. Without effective communication skills, any shared emotional frustrations or strains within the relationship are only worsened. In order to avoid this intensification, you may consider seeking professional guidance through couples therapy.

When properly administered, couples therapy can provide effective communication amongst the partnership that, in turn, lessens the blow of tense situations. Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman cites that there are four communication patterns that predict whether a couple will stay together or break up: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Oftentimes, when communication becomes overwhelmingly complex, we find ourselves turning to silence as the only remaining alternative, but this too can be very dangerous. Gottman notes that silence in a relationship is destructive, and over time the disconnection will leave you feeling completely alone. Communication is crucial and learning to develop an ongoing dialogue can help you develop a loving, healthy, and connected relationship. That’s why Individual therapy, which helps increase self-awareness and teaches valuable communication skills, is a crucial part of treatment to the relationship. In helping each individual learn to express their feelings, as well as encouraging others to listen and look past the behaviors, you can really begin to understand contributing factors.

The importance of communication, however, is not limited to determining the cause of couples’ tensions. Adults, in particular, may already be aware of the sources of stress in their life but remain unaware of how their own behavior affects their partner, or, worse, are not even able to acknowledge that they are behaving inappropriately in the first place. Not being able or willing to communicate stress to your partner can often lead to unnecessarily harsh confrontations and angry outbursts that come out of nowhere. Couples counseling can create a good starting point for each individual to describe what they see, how they feel, and what unconscious messages are being shared through behavior. This can also help patients to understand nonverbal communication and develop an awareness of how their actions may send a different signal than their words at home. Similarly, couples that have experienced a shared trauma may have no trouble recognizing the source of their mutual distress but fail to see the need for therapy. Luckily surviving a natural disaster, mourning the death of a friend or relation, and other obvious traumas can be effectively managed through couples counseling. It can help guide communication throughout the rehabilitative process, as the couple learns to develop skills that enable them to support one another and unlearn any harmful coping methods they may have used. Better communication can create a healthier environment for everyone to develop different habits and intervene more quickly and effectively when there is an issue.

Overall, it’s clear that a couple that is able to open up to one another, describe their emotions and explain how they are affected, and generally support one another through listening and sharing, are better equipped to deal with any challenges they may face. Because couples therapy is such a specialized skill set, one should seek a therapist who has received both training and credentials qualifying them to perform this type of counseling. Life Balance Therapy provides professional online therapy solutions and in-person therapy in San Antonio that can offer you and your partner guidance in trying times, with a compassionate experience for your therapy services that will help you achieve your couple's therapy goals. See for yourself how our treatment paves the way to a better and happier life, building healthier connections, and improved perspectives – schedule a consultation today!