How to Get the Most out of Therapy: 16 Tips

“Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul,” said the Ancient Greek Democritus. Similarly, therapy is also about knowing your true core self or “your soul.” So, if you want to learn how to get the most out of therapy you’ll need to become curious about all aspects of yourself. 

What makes therapy effective?

Mental health is finally becoming more mainstream with people talking about therapy more openly. Therapy isn’t just about dealing with mental disorders but it’s also about getting to know ourselves. So, discovering how to get the most out of therapy means you need to literally share everything on your mind. 

We all have fears, unhealthy coping mechanisms or unhelpful belief systems such that our inner voice berates and judges us. Psychotherapy, or a talk therapy session, aims to deconstruct all this to enable a more fulfilled and content life. 

This might leave you initially feeling emotionally drained after therapy but it’s worth it in the long run. After all, we need to talk. Humans have been sharing worries and hopes since the Ancient Greeks with friends, family or wise elders. It wasn’t called therapy back then but it’s the same.

Of course, today we have established and well-researched techniques for how to get the most out of therapy. Nevertheless, you need to be in a comfortable and safe space to share all your inner thoughts and desires. 

Therapists enable that process for getting the most out of therapy by suspending all judgment and being completely present. Truly effective therapy then includes a special mix of qualities to optimize the process of how to get the most out of therapy. 

Psychotherapist Irvin Yalom defined those qualities as “compassion, presence, caring, extending oneself and wisdom” in his book Existential Psychotherapy. So, how to get the most out of therapy means finding someone you feel comfortable with and who exudes those qualities. 

Related Reading: Tips for Recognizing Effective Couples Therapy

Which therapy is best for you?

There are many different approaches and techniques depending on what you need. Getting the most out of therapy starts with understanding whether you want to work on trauma, stress, relationship problems or anything else. 

For example, you’ll hear therapists talk about CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy as well as Gestalt, hypnotherapy, mindfulness-based and many more. To add to the confusion, you’ll also come across therapists as well as counselors all of whom are experts on how to get the most out of therapy.

Don’t worry too much about all the technical terms for how to get the most out of therapy. Essentially, both therapists and counselors will let you know their specialities. This could be family, mental disorders and stress, among others. So, how to make the most out of counseling means knowing which area you want to work on first. 

To give you more idea, CBT tends to be the most favored form of therapy because it’s been the most researched. Essentially, CBT works to reframe your thoughts and allows you to get to know your feelings. The idea is to rebalance our distorted view of the world because of our assumptions and childhood conditioning.

On the flip side of CBT, you have the more holistic approaches such as mindfulness-based Acceptance & Commitment Therapy or Gestalt, for instance. These leverage the body-mind connection to connect with the present so accepting life as it is. 

Either way, how to get the most out of counseling means doing some research and having initial phone consultations with potential therapists. As you interview them, you can ask them why they favor a particular approach and how it could fit with your goals.

Related Reading:  8 Different Types of Therapists and What Their Work Entails

How to know you’re making progress

Does therapy actually help? Many people ask themselves that very question. Like most things in life that take effort, therapy works both ways. Consequently, getting the most out of therapy means finding a compassionate and wise therapist as well as being willing to do the work. 

When it comes to tracking progress against your goals, this will be easier for tangible versus intangible goals. For example, having fewer panic attacks is measurable. On the other hand, reducing depression or feeling more fulfilled can be harder to quantify. 

Nevertheless, how to get the most out of therapy means discussing with your therapist what greater contentment in life would feel like to you. Then, progress can still be subtle but you can track your daily or weekly moods with a worksheet to get a sense of where you are. 

In the worksheet, you’ll see that you also track your thoughts and how distorted they are versus reality. 

This is a great example of CBT and can be a useful worksheet to start your sessions while getting the most out of therapy. That way, you no longer have to wonder “I don’t know what to talk about in therapy”. 

Remember that a good therapist will know how to explore your mood journal with you so you don’t feel overwhelmed. In effect, they are your guide on how to get the most out of therapy.

Related Reading: How Seeing a Therapist Can Improve Your Life

5 tips to prepare yourself before starting therapy

It’s easy to blame the therapist when you’re not making progress in therapy. Of course, in some cases, it’s critical to change to a new therapist. Regardless, it’s important to talk to your therapist about your doubts. Sometimes we’re making progress without necessarily fully realizing it.

Getting the most out of therapy means preparing beforehand, which will also help you with the very common reflection: “I don’t know what to talk about in therapy.”

1. Do your research

It’s important you know what to get out of therapy in terms of feelings, thoughts, or behaviors. In other words, what are you trying to change? Use this information as your baseline for evaluating the therapists you review and ask them how their expertise can support your goals. 

Related Reading: 5 Key Tips on Sharing Your Issues With a Relationship Therapist

2. Consider your finances

How long should you be in therapy? The answer to this question shouldn’t depend on your financial situation. Nevertheless, you’ll have to budget for your sessions and find a therapist accordingly. Then, ask your potential therapist for their advice on the normal length based on your information. 

Depending on the severity of your symptoms, you could be working on getting the most out of therapy for several months or several years. In those cases, how to get the most out of therapy means checking in with your budget and your progress.

Related Reading: How to Communicate and Work on Your Financial Matters Together

3. Review your therapist’s approach 

Feeling emotionally drained after therapy is perfectly normal. Although, you want to work with a therapist who can also motivate you and energize you for getting the most out of therapy. That means that some approaches will be better suited than others. 

They can then advise you on how to get the most out of therapy with their particular approach. 

Related Reading: Constructivism Therapy

4. Understand what success looks like 

A common question is “what should I talk about in therapy?” It actually depends on what you want to achieve. Normally, therapy starts by exploring the current situation, and from there, a therapist will guide you accordingly on getting the most out of therapy. 

Getting the most out of therapy means first understanding what you would ideally want if, for example, you had a magic wand. Your therapist will then use that to guide your sessions. 

Related Reading: 20 Keys to a Successful Long Term Relationship?

5. Know your “why”

The question “what do I want to get out of therapy” starts with knowing why you’re going in the first place. Whether you’re dealing with trauma, extreme feelings or reactive behaviors, it’s helpful to link the work to your values. These will guide you and keep you motivated when the work gets tough. 

What to do if therapy isn’t working? The solution lies in talking to your therapist and exploring together what to change. Sometimes it might mean changing therapists before getting the most out of therapy. Either way, you shouldn’t give up and should you resume therapy usually comes with an easy answer – yes. 

16 ideas to maximize your therapy sessions 

At times, especially if you’re doing CBT, you’ll get homework, often in the form of journaling type exercises. Either way, you should apply some of the techniques and reflection points discussed in your therapy session to your every day.

The following points are useful tips for starting therapy:

1. Expect a safe space

How long should you be in therapy? The answer revolves around how safe you feel with your therapist. The more you can be yourself and share everything going on with you, the more progress you’ll make and the more effective it is. 

Related Reading: 15 Things You Should Never Tell Your Therapist

2. Allow for change 

How to get the most out of counseling means letting yourself be open to change. You might have to look at things differently or try exercises that feel odd or even awkward. Getting the most out of therapy means being uncomfortable at times. 

3. It’s about you 

Topics to discuss with a therapist revolve around you. For instance, what’s happening in your life? Who do you struggle with and what feelings are overwhelming you? Therapy doesn’t work if you can’t be honest about your current life. Consequently, don’t hold back when it comes to getting the most out of therapy.

Related Reading: What to Talk About in Therapy and Tips on How to Open Up

4. Practice and apply 

Therapy advice is vast and can get confusing. How to get the most out of therapy though means applying what you’re discovering in your sessions. You might also be learning some coping techniques such as relaxation. The more you apply, the more you’ll change and progress. 

5. Journal

It can be hard to answer the question “what do I want to get out of therapy?” So, even before you start therapy, you can journal your thoughts regarding why something feels off. 

Journaling also becomes a great tool for getting the most out of therapy. It helps you reflect on the work and gives you something to share with your therapist. 

Find out more about journaling in this video:

6. Open up to your feelings 

What makes therapy effective is connecting with your emotions and talking about your feelings. This isn’t easy for most of us but a good therapist will teach you how to do that. 

Often, your feelings are the first place to start when considering the question “what should I talk about in therapy”? Then, how to get the most out of therapy also becomes naturally more obvious. 

Related Reading: 15 Ways to Help Your Partner Understand How You’re Feeling

7. Track your mood

Topics to discuss with a therapist can simply start with how sad or angry you’re feeling. Our moods are important messengers telling us about our internal world. They give you something to track and something to talk about. 

8. Share openly 

You mustn’t filter your thoughts and feelings when considering how to make the most of therapy. After all, the therapist needs to see every part of you, no matter how much you dislike it, to properly help you. 

Related Reading: What Is Relationship Therapy and How Can You Benefit From It

9. Give feedback 

Getting the most out of therapy means approaching it like a collaboration. It’s a two-way exchange where you share your thoughts and feelings so that your therapist can be your guide. If you’re not making progress in therapy, then give the feedback and collaborate on possible changes. 

That’s the most powerful first step when therapy doesn’t work. Constantly changing therapists isn’t necessarily the answer. 

Related Reading: How to Find the Best Marriage and Family Therapist

10. Emotional check-ins 

Should you resume therapy after some time, you’ll want to give your therapist a recap of why you stopped and what you want to be different this time around. Either way, make sure you plan to check in with your therapist when you feel emotionally vulnerable or confused in between sessions. 

11. Explore your own solutions 

Therapy advice involves the process because you should never expect your therapist to tell you what to do. In fact, how to get the most out of therapy means being curious and open-minded to possibilities but ultimately finding your own way forwards.

12.  State your stream of consciousness

Getting the most out of therapy might feel like a constant stream of consciousness because you’re laying bare your thoughts and feelings. Another answer to the question of what to do if therapy isn’t working lies in looking for new ways to open up to your emotions, such as mindfulness or hypnotherapy. 

13. Try new things 

Getting the most out of therapy means going full into the experience. Try not to hold back from the exercises, especially if you’ve opted for something more experiential, such as Gestalt therapy. 

Then, how long does counseling last? Well, it could almost be a lifetime because, at every stage of our life, we need to try new things and explore options for various challenges. 

14. Create boundaries 

Another good idea for how to get the most out of therapy is to establish boundaries with friends and family. They don’t need to know the details and only as much as you’re willing to share. You don’t need the extra stress of having to report back to them. 

Related Reading: 6 Types of Boundaries in Relationships & How to Maintain Them

15. Engage 

You might still be asking yourself, “Does therapy actually help”? It can only truly help if you engage fully in the process and with your therapist. So, don’t miss any sessions and prepare for each one by doing the homework and reflecting on your work. That’s how to get the most out of therapy.

16. Be patient 

You should always be kind to yourself for getting the most out of therapy. Moreover, when therapy doesn’t work, sometimes it’s simply because it’s taking longer than you would like it to. That means you have to be patient with yourself and let the process guide you. 

Then, how long does counseling last depends on your unique situation but it’s ok if it takes years. Remember that either way, it’s good to talk. 

Final thoughts

Knowing what to get out of therapy means first doing your research and interviewing a few therapists to get a feel for the right fit. Then, tips for starting therapy include asking yourself what area of your life you want to focus on first.

How to make the most of therapy means throwing all of yourself into the process. You’ll have to get used to sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone who’s initially a stranger. Although, a great therapist has the qualities to make you feel safe instantly. 

Let the therapist guide you for getting the most out of therapy, even if you’re not sure why you’re there initially. No matter what happens, you’ll learn more about yourself and why you do the things you do. So, engage, apply the learnings and be kind to yourself whilst you discover how to live a more balanced life.

Continue exploring this topic

Talk to our Marriage.com AI Relationship Coach

Chat with me, ask questions and get help

Start Chatting

Marriage.com AI: Your Relationship Guide

Talk through what's on your mind.

Automated

Hi, I'm your relationship guide. What's on your mind?

YOU COULD START WITH

How can I get the most out of therapy?

What should I focus on in therapy?

AI guidance only - not therapy. In crisis? Call a helpline or Find a Therapist

Terms

Anne Duvaux Coach

Anne’s passion and purpose in life are to guide people to find their own path and contentment by learning about themselves. Only then can we build and nurture the deep connections we all deserve to have. With a background in psychology and neuroscience coaching, she has helped countless couples... Read more transform their communication from aggression to assertiveness and appreciation.   She is both an ICF certified coach and mindfulness-certified, while being a counselor in training, meaning that she offers a holistic approach. You can expect to transform your view of yourself, your relationship, and the world by better understanding the habits of your mind and letting go of the unhelpful ones. You have power over your mind but you don’t have to do it alone. Read less

(Anne Duvaux is also listed in Best Marriage Therapists in Naperville)

Marriage.com Assessment

What Help Does Your Relationship Need Most Right Now Quiz

Reviewed byJennifer Schulz, LCSW

Backed by relationship science and evidence-based psychology, this assessment helps identify the area of your relationship that deserves the most attention right now, whether things feel strong or slightly off. Research shows that even healthy relat...

Questions: 20 | Last updated: Jan 23, 2026

Sample Question

When you and your partner talk about something important…

We listen with care — even hard talks feel safe and productive

We try to talk, but lately emotional closeness feels harder to reach

I want to be open, but part of me still guards my heart

Our discussions sometimes spiral or end unresolved

It’s hard to feel close because our physical intimacy hasn’t felt strong lately

We often see things differently about goals or priorities

Take the Quiz Now