10 Things You Should Look for in a Relationship

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As one who desires to enjoy their love life, knowing what to look for in a relationship is important. For one, you are better positioned to find the right person when you know the things to look for in a partner. 

Thankfully, in this article, you will discover the 10 things to look for in a relationship – even if you had no prior idea of where to start.

What are the 5 most important things in a relationship? 

Statistics and surveys have shown that for every relationship to thrive, there are some elements that must be in them. Every successful relationship is the product of intentional efforts put in by all parties in the relationship. 

Hence, if you desire a strong and healthy relationship, here are the 10 most important things in a relationship.

10 things you should look for in a relationship 

This is what to seek in a relationship, if you want to enjoy it with your partner for a long time.

1.  Excellent communication skills 

Communication is one of the first things you must look out for in a relationship. 

As studies have shown, effective communication strengthens relationships. When your partner is willing to talk things through with you, you have more chances of enjoying a healthy relationship. Then again, deep communication is a necessary element of intimacy. 

2. Unplanned acts of kindness 

It is easy to put up an act when we know that someone’s watching. However, the real kind people are those who are kind even when there’s no one watching. 

One of the things to look for in a relationship (if you want to enjoy a stress-free love life) is a partner who doesn’t wait for the spotlight to be on them before they show kindness to others. 

How do they treat the waiters at the bar? How do they talk to their subordinates at work 9especially when there’s no boss watching)? How do they interact with the random beggar on the street? 

You’ll enjoy a happy love life when you find a kind partner.

Related Reading: Niceness Vs Kindness in Relationships-what Matters the Most?

3. Accountability 

Research has proven that structured accountability produces tremendous results in every area of a person’s life – even their love life. Are you still figuring out what to look for in a relationship? Then look for a partner who isn’t afraid of accountability.   

Then again, accountability isn’t something that can easily be faked. If you aren’t sure, look out for how they relate with the authority figures in their lives. First of all, do they even have mentors and role models they listen to? 

Coach Grady Shumway states that,

In my practice, I’ve seen how fostering a culture of accountability can profoundly impact the health of relationships. Partners who are willing to take responsibility for their actions and communicate openly about their feelings often experience greater trust and intimacy. Remember, accountability is not about blame but about mutual respect and growth within the relationship.

Accountability is one of the most powerful attributes to look for in a person because an accountable partner will give you peace. 

Also watch this video on accountability in relationships: 

4. Responsibility 

Before jumping headlong into a relationship, you may want to start by examining how responsible your would-be partner is. 

Do they own their actions, even when it sems like there would be negative effects? Are they able to admit when they’re wrong? How often do they try to shift the blame of their actions or inactions to another person? 

While figuring out what to look for in a significant other, please ensure that you keep your eyes open for responsibility. A responsible partner will be less likely to gaslight or manipulate you. 

5. A good listener 

Everyone can talk, but not everyone is a good listener. This is one fact that has been proven by science as good listening skills are otherwise scarce. 

In a world where many people want to be heard, it can be a bit challenging to find that partner who just sits back and listens to you without making you feel judged. 

While figuring out what to look for in a relationship, please be on the lookout for a partner who knows how to listen. 

Sometimes, you may need them to just sit down, hold your hand, and listen as you pour out your heart to them. This can sometimes feel as intimate as having someone who knows how to give the best gifts. 

Related Reading: 4 Tips to Be a Better Listener in a Relationship- Why It Matters

6. You must share the same values 

One key to frustration in life is jumping into a relationship with someone who doesn’t share the same values as you. 

Imagine you prioritize family time, but you’re together with someone who cannot be bothered by family but would rather spend family time on their computer – working. 

Grady Shumway further states,

Aligning values is crucial for long-term relationship satisfaction. When partners share similar core values, they have a stronger foundation for understanding, empathy, and cooperation. 

Fights, anger, and quarreling are some of the things that would follow this kind of relationship.   

When getting ready to go into a relationship, please make sure that you connect with someone who shares the same or similar values with you. Your relationship will be much better when there’s compatibility of values and ideals. 

7. Are they genuinely interested in you? 

Feigning interest in something or someone is easy, especially at first. While deciding what to look for in a relationship, please ensure that your partner is genuinely interested in you. 

They may come off as being interested for many reasons. They could be coming on strongly because they want to get something from you, have sex with you, or for any other reason. 

However, one easy way to know if they are genuinely interested in you is to check out how they respond to the things that matter to you. When you are with someone who’s genuinely interested in you, they always look out for your advancement as a person. 

They’ll push you toward the actualization of your goals, help you understand yourself and find satisfaction in your life, and they’ll show interest in the things that matter to you. 

Someone who’s genuinely interested in you won’t be self-centered. Yes, you’ll also be looking after them as well but it won’t just be a one-sided attempt where you do all the work. 

So keep your eyes open for how much interest in your life they’ve shown. 

8. A desire to stay healthy 

What’s a wholesome relationship without time? Imagine how devastated you’d feel when you find the right one, only for them to die off after a few months or years simply because they weren’t intentional about taking care of their health. 

As you decide what to look for in a relationship, please take some time to check out how much your prospective partner values their health. 

Do they eat healthy foods, or would they rather stuff their bodies with carbs? Do they work out? Are they intentional about mental health? Do they care for their mind and emotions as much as they care for their body? 

When you are about getting into a relationship, please make sure you’re going to be with someone who prioritizes every aspect of their health. You need time to enjoy a healthy relationship. You need them to be alive for as long as possible. 

9. Sexual compatibility 

If sex is on the table, you may want to ensure that there is sexual compatibility between both of you. 

Research has shown that sexual compatibility is essential for sexual satisfaction in relationships. This implies that for anyone to be sexually satisfied in their relationship, they must be with someone they find sexually compatible. 

Sexual compatibility happens when all partners on a relationship have similar or shared sexual needs, possess similar sexual preferences, and agree on the same sexual frequency. 

One way to ruin your relationship is to get on with someone who isn’t sexually compatible with you. 

For example, if you believe that sex should be sensual and slow to be enjoyed, you may find it difficult to cope with a sadomasochist in a relationship. This incompatibility may drive you out of the relationship quicker than you expected. 

10. Shared compromise 

Relationships are all about compromise. At some point, you may have to shift some of your resolve to accommodate your partner, even as they do the same for you. 

As you figure out what to look for in a relationship, please keep an eye out for this. 

If you get into a relationship with someone who expects you to compromise on everything but wouldn’t do the same for you, you may experience challenges. 

Bear in mind, however, that some types of compromise may not ultimately be good for you. For example, you may not want to compromise on your core values as a person, as this may affect you on a basic level. 

Also, there’s a reason why it is called shared compromise. At some point, you may want to ensure that your partner is putting in as much work as you are. You shouldn’t be the one doing all the work while they stand back and enjoy all the benefits. 

Compromise is beautiful when you are with someone who doesn’t mind adjusting a bit so they can accommodate your life and choices – while you do the same for them. 

Summary 

What do people look for in a relationship? 

Different people look for different things when entering relationships. Some enter relationships for the fun of it, while others enter relationships to heal from their past trauma. 

However, as one who plans to enjoy a long and healthy relationship with their partner, it is up to you to know what to look for in a relationship. That’s because when you keep your eyes open for the right things, you’ll get the right person. 

In this article, you’ve discovered the 10 things you should look out for. Your partner may not have all 10 qualities. However, their good qualities must heavily outweigh the not-so-good ones before you accept them as a part of your life.