What to Look For in a Guy: 35 Good Qualities in a Man
Love may be blind, but knowing what to look for in a guy can save you from wasting time, effort, and money. It will also help you find an ideal partner.
Indeed, more relationships happen spontaneously than we can imagine. People fall in love in odd and the most unexpected places. They then push it to a relationship level, where they spend more time together.
Although this strategy works for many people, some regret their decisions later. Relationships don’t always end happily. When they don’t, the individuals involved often wish they had taken their time to study their partner, know what to look for in a man, and review their own needs in the relationship.
Therefore, knowing the qualities and traits to look for in a man is crucial. Thankfully, this relationship guide shows you the qualities to look for in a guy to see if you are compatible. That way, you can save yourself from the agony of a bad relationship. Keep reading to see a list of things to look for in a man.
What do girls look for in a guy?
If you have ever asked a friend to introduce you to an eligible man, the first question they will ask you is, what are you looking for in a man? This valid question can help you and others, allowing you to find someone suitable for your needs.
Unfortunately, only some people know what they want in a partner. For some women, the qualities to look for in a man revolve around physical traits. As such, you may hear qualities like tall, dark, handsome, classy, and neat. Of course, you can state what you want and go for it. However, these qualities won’t suffice if you don’t value specific attributes.
Being with a tall and handsome guy is excellent and gets you lots of sweet comments from friends and family. But what happens when he can’t hold logical conversations? How do you cope when he doesn’t consider your feelings?
How would you feel if he didn’t care about family and friends? It would help if you considered these vital questions before pinning a guy’s qualities on physical features.
When some women focus on looks, it isn’t entirely their fault. The physical features are what you see before you get to know someone better. While this isn’t saying you should go for someone you can’t be proud of in public, you should consider other things that can make you happy in the long haul.
How do you know if you have a good man?
What are you looking for in a man? How do you know that a man has excellent qualities in a relationship? There is a specific way to see if you have a good man. Nonetheless, some traits can assure you that you are dealing with a good person. Here they are
1. He supports you
A clear sign that you have a good man is how he supports you. Whether you are still studying, working, or have a thriving business, your man will show up for you in several ways. He will encourage and motivate you to go harder even when you don’t feel like it. You will see that he wants nothing but your success.
Related Reading: 15 Ways to Improve Emotional Support in Your Relationship
2. He listens to you
Another sign of a good man is listening to you actively. When you rant or complain, he gives you a listening ear and advises you accordingly. A great man won’t allow you to think twice before seeking his opinion. He will be your shoulder to cry upon and a safe place when nothing makes sense.
3. He cares for you
There are different ways of caring for one’s partner. These may include buying gifts, spending lavishly, buying flowers weekly, or cooking for you. When you date a good man, he goes out of his way for you.
4. He wants to be there for you
While it’s good to seek help, a good man always wants to be your only point of assistance. For example, a good man might be mad if you didn’t tell him, but another person about your car problem.
Your excuse could be that he is not a mechanic, but he might feel you should have called so that he could get the mechanic for you.
5. A good man likes to show you off
Some of the best men in relationships don’t hide their partners. They like to take them to events where everyone can see them. It gives them pride and has nothing bad as long as it doesn’t affect them.
Now that you know how it feels to date a good man, knowing what to look for in a guy is important. Importantly, you should have a list of qualities to look for in a man before you agree to date him.
What to look for in a guy: 35 good qualities in a man
In typical pre-marital counseling, individuals are often asked this question: what are you looking for in a man?
When you know what you are looking for in a man or the things to look for in a guy, you become more relaxed, watchful, and observant. Check the following for the qualities to look for in a guy before you say yes.
1. He values the same thing as you
One of the things to look for in a guy is what he values. Are his principles the same as yours? Does he believe in the things you value? What are his convictions, and where does he draw the line? It would help if you asked questions about these facts. They may not be the same as what you believe in, but they should be similar.
Maggie Martinez, LCSW
Not having similar values can be a breaking point for couples later on in the relationship. Make sure you discuss these values early on.
2. He supports you
One of the qualities to look for in a guy is his support. If he believes in your profession and encourages you every chance he gets, he is one of the best. A guy that loves you will accept the things that make you happy.
3. He is confident
When he walks into a room, does the atmosphere feel different? Is he optimistic about many things in life? Does he believe in himself? If the answer is yes, then you can date him. Confidence in a man makes a woman feel safe even when nothing is happening.
Related Reading: 20 Things You Can Do To Feel More Confident In A Relationship
4. He makes you laugh
Life is fun, but when you face some challenges, nothing makes sense. One of the things to look for in a guy is a good sense of humor. He should be able to make you laugh and understand your jokes.
Maggie Martinez adds,
A sense of humor can go a long way in the face of life’s hardships.
5. He communicates well
Communication in a romantic relationship is something you shouldn’t take for granted. When you have issues, you can only solve them through intentional communication. A healthy relationship is one where the partners communicate well. Therefore, if you seek what to look for in a man, choose a communicator who can express his feelings clearly.
6. He accepts your imperfections
No one is perfect. We all have our flaws and weaknesses, which make us humans. If your guy wants you to act perfectly, speak right always, and have a perfect look, he is the right person for you. A good man accepts his partner for who they are.
7. He considers how you feel
If a man constantly asks about your opinion or feelings on issues, he values you. It means he respects you enough to consider how you might feel. He will also inform you about certain decisions before he takes them.
8. He is kind
One of the essential things to look for in a guy is compassion. Unfortunately, many of us prioritize other things over this quality. Even when things don’t work out between you and someone, a kind partner will always respect and adore you. They won’t do anything to hurt your feelings.
9. He is hardworking
Whether you want a short or long-term relationship, a diligent partner is something you can’t compromise. He will also value and regard you if he takes his work seriously. Besides, someone who is hardworking will appreciate their source of income.
10. He puts you first
The best relationship is where partners put each other first and above others. A man who truly loves you will think about you before making decisions. He will consider your interests, likes, and needs before planning things.
11. He dresses well
One of the things to like about a guy is how he dresses. When we talk about good looks, we aren’t talking about expensive clothes and shoes, but neatness and composure. Someone who dresses anyone isn’t likely to be presentable to friends and family.
12. He is optimistic
You may not think of it, but having someone with a positive mindset can lift your spirit. An optimistic man assures you that things will be fine whenever you feel down. It also reflects in their actions; before you know it, you have forgotten about their problems.
Related Reading: Pessimistic vs. Optimistic: 5 Benefits of Relationship Optimism
13. He is emotionally mature
A man with his emotions in check tries to understand you when you talk to him instead of blaming you. He makes you feel confident to tell him anything, knowing he looks for solutions instead of focusing on the problem.
14. He is independent
One of the qualities of a man is independence. Does he make decisions independently or take permission from others? Does he take care of his expenses or constantly borrow from others? These are things you should look out for in a partner. He will only have time for yours if he manages his affairs well.
15. He has integrity
Everyone has their code of conduct and principle. Following them religiously is what many people can’t do. A man with integrity stands up for his beliefs without compromising them. That doesn’t make him stubborn. Instead, it shows how committed he will be to the relationship.
16. He is committed to you
Choosing an indecisive partner is one of the worst decisions you can make. Ensure he has no other partner or ex lurking around to come back. When a guy is committed to you, he is loyal and focused. He makes an effort to make the relationship work and doesn’t make you feel like a second option.
Learn how to choose the right partner in this video:
17. He is passionate
A passionate man is focused and motivated in life. Before you date him, ensure he is passionate and committed about something. It could be his profession, diet, or lifestyle. Men like this will appreciate your interests and passion in life.
Related Reading: 15 Signs of a Passionate Relationship
18. He is goal-driven
A goal-driven person is ambitious and works hard to get good results in their assigned tasks. Also, they aim for the best and are usually organized. If you look out for this quality in a man, rest assured he will treat you right and put effort into your relationship.
19. He is responsible
Dating a guy who often clubs, smokes, or comes home later after getting drunk is cool when you are younger. As you get older, you will realize a responsible man who appreciates his partner is the best. Such a man knows his duties and takes responsibility for his actions.
20. He motivates you
One of the traits to look out for in a man is how he motivates you. Do you look at him and want to work harder on your goals? If yes, he is the right person for you. Your partner should make you better in life.
Related Reading: 10 Ways You Can Motivate Your Partner
21. He has common interests with you.
Partners have a deeper connection when they have the same hobbies or interests. If this is the case with your potential partner, you have reasons to spend more time together and build stronger connections.
22. He is curious about you
If you need what to look for in a guy, check the questions he asks about you. A man that wants you will show interest in you and your affairs. He will constantly ask questions about your family, friends, and lifestyle.
23. He cares about his family and friends
Another trait to look for in a man is how he treats his people. Does he ask about your friends and family and go all out for them? Does he make an effort to connect with them? If yes, he is a potential partner. Only a few try to relate to their partner’s family and friends.
24. He respects you
One of the best traits to look for in a man is respect. Regardless of your personality, background, upbringing, or what you bring to the table, a man will respect them and accept you for who you are. He will celebrate you and your achievements, no matter how small.
Related Reading: 25 Signs He Respects You
25. He is honest with you
If you need what to look for in a guy, go for honesty. An honest man will express his feelings and needs in the relationship. He won’t hide anything from you and will ensure you have no reason to doubt him.
26. He is your cheerleader
Everyone needs someone who motivates them when they feel like giving up. If you seek what to look for in a man, ensure he is your biggest fan. This man will constantly push you to be your best. When you feel like relenting, he is there to push you up.
27. He is thoughtful
Another thing to look for in a guy is his thoughtfulness. It’s not enough to remember you but to know what you need at a particular time. Sometimes, you need a hug after ranting about your work at night. A thoughtful partner understands this and will waste no time curling you up.
28. He makes you happy
If you are always happy around a potential partner, he may be the right person for you. A good guy makes you feel excited and comfortable around him. He makes jokes and makes you feel at home.
Related Reading: Can your Partner Make you Happy?
29. He is romantic
A romantic partner has a way of making a room feel lively. He makes you feel like the most intelligent and beautiful person in the world by giving you what you need in the bedroom or public.
30. He is trustworthy
One of the qualities to look for in a man is trustworthiness. Does he speak the truth? A trustworthy man values the truth. This makes him reliable and responsible.
31. He pays attention to you
One of the traits of a guy is his attentiveness to you. If a guy can tell a lot about your mood by looking at you, he is observant. Such a man has taken the time to know your feelings and emotions.
32. He values your time
A good guy knows you have a life before you meet him. Therefore, he schedules events with your activities in mind. For instance, he won’t pick dinner when you meet with your friends, even when he knows you won’t go.
Related Reading: 25 Signs She’s Not Worth Your Time
33. He makes time for you
Another thing to look out for in a guy is how he makes time for you. No matter how engaged a guy is, he creates time for the one he loves.
34. He is courteous to everyone around
One of the essential qualities to check in a guy is how he treats people around him, especially people below his level. If he diminishes people and makes them feel bad, he is not the right person for you.
35. He wants to be with you
The best thing to look for in a guy is how much he wants you by his side. If a man always wants to be around you or feel comfortable anywhere you are, he is worth dating.
Related Reading: 30 Signs He Wants You Badly Sexually
FAQs
What does a girl notice first in a guy?
The things a girl notices first in a guy include his height, shoulders, face, eyes, hair, shoes, scent, clothes, smile, and general composure.
What is a high-quality man?
A high-quality man is a man that is trustworthy and reliable. He keeps to his words and makes you feel safe. Also, he is emotionally stable and goal-driven in his life.
Conclusion
You can start a relationship as soon as possible. However, knowing what to look for in a guy ensures you prepare ahead and have realistic expectations from your potential partner.
That may include writing a list of qualities to look for in a man and sticking to them. If you wish, consider premarital counseling to help you make better decisions concerning your relationship.
Should you get into a relationship with a good man when you are ready to be in a relationship, but he is not?
Jenni Jacobsen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Expert Answer
If someone is not ready for a relationship but you are, this is a fundamental incompatibility. You may be ready for a relationship, but if he is not, there is no relationship to be had. You will end up hurt and frustrated, trying to force a relationship with someone who doesn't want one. Why not find a good man who is ready to be in a relationship, just like you are?
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