21 Signs You’re Not Meant to Be Together

One of the things many people tend to miss with signs you are not meant to be together is that while a relationship requires work to thrive, that work shouldn’t be laborious or exhaustive. The effort should be simple and flow with ease. 

If it feels like a constant uphill battle, that’s an indication this might be the wrong story to search for your happy ending. Read on to know the signs you are not meant to be together. 

What does it mean when a relationship is meant to be

A relationship that’s meant to be is supposed to come into your life for a reason, whether it be a life lesson or to fulfill needs, possibly complete something in you. 

You might go through a few romantic partnerships, each bringing something unique to your life, or you’ll find that once-in-a-lifetime connection quite quickly.

You have to go through those first few partnerships, reminiscent of training or preparation for when the authentic relationship comes along. These teach you the skills for a genuine mate, including patience, respect, and communication. 

The partner that is meant to be is one for whom you’re ready. Your life is situated for that person. Everything is aligned to welcome the individual, and working for this relationship is mutual and not debilitating to the union.

Related Reading: The True Meaning of Being In A Relationship

21 signs you are not meant to be together

While some relationships are simply meant to be, these are still not perfect. No partnership is without fault. Every couple requires some level of work since you’re putting two individual personalities with unique habits and lifestyles into a single situation to attempt to thrive. 

There are bound to be quirks, disagreements, and even fights, but a healthy pair can handle these incidents typically with consistent communication. A pair that might not withstand the test of time, though, is often pretty apparent to the rest of the world. 

Here is a study showing how to tell if your relationship will last. There are usually relatively visible signs you’re not meant to be together, if not to the individuals to their close friends and family. 

It’s essential to realize you don’t need to settle; everyone needs to be happy. If you notice these signs, it’s wise to consider moving on if you can’t work things out.

Research also shows that bad relationships can cause bad mental health, especially when the relationships under question are with a spouse or a partner.

1. Routine disagreements or arguments

Occasional arguments are natural in a partnership. There would have to be a lack of caring if you didn’t bicker or have a fight periodically over something; maybe the laundry isn’t separated. It’s part of being in a passionate, committed couplehood.

Suppose these turn into fights, happening every day, continuously, with a lack of peace in the household. In that case, that’s not indicative of passion but, instead, poor communication and little respect for each other.

2. When you genuinely dislike one another

You can love each other, but the trick is liking each other. If you develop a strong dislike for the other person over time despite loving them, that’s among the bold signs you’re not right for each other. 

It’s time for things to change when you don’t want to be around someone, and do everything to avoid going home when the day is done.

3. Listening is not a team sport

You might start to wonder if maybe we’re not meant to be when neither of you is listening to what the other person has to say. 

Not only is that one of the signs you’re not meant to be together, but there’s a level of disrespect when two people aren’t paying attention to what the other has to say.

4. Social media is a relationship advisory

Communication is essential between couples attempting to work out problems. If one person in that partnership brings a third party into their business, it can be damaging. 

When someone polls an entire social media audience for advice, that’s overstepping boundaries, and that’s a dealbreaker in almost any relationship.

It can make most mates ask the question, “Are we together or not?” alone in this match, or are we sharing with a group?

Related Reading: 8 Ways Social Media Ruins Relationships

5. Starts hot, then fizzles

Wait, “Are we good together?” might be a question you ask when you start with intense lust, infatuation, and periods of outstanding sex, and then actually need to interact as a dating couple. 

A physical attraction might be all that you have in common, and after that flame cools a bit, you might find there’s not much more to it.

6. Honeymoon’s over

In that same vein, if you come to terms with the physical attraction cooling and can move forward into an emotional relationship, ultimately, even that honeymoon phase will come to an end.

There will come a point where you need to decide if you can withstand the other person’s quirks or “flaws” and rules so you can progress into a commitment. 

If you can’t see yourself devoted to this particular person, you should take it as one of the signs you’re not meant to be together.

Related Reading: How Long Does The Honeymoon Phase Lasts In A Relationship

7. One person carries the load

When you seem to be making all the concessions in the partnership, that can prove to be one of the signs you mean nothing to him or her. Not everyone is meant to be in your life. 

Someone who won’t take the time to help with a chore or is inflexible in other aspects of everyday life is inconsiderate or borders on disrespectful, and that’s someone you might not want in your life.

Related Reading: How Much Is Too Much In A Relationship

8. Criticism or complaints are routine

When you find yourself the victim of constant complaints or criticism, keeping the relationship afloat might start to be the last thing you want to do. 

It might just be the other person’s demeanor, but then that brings the question, “Are we good together?” since these episodes play havoc with your self-confidence.

9. Controlling should be a blatant sign

Any form of abuse is not merely one of the signs you’re not meant to be together, but a clear indication that you need to walk away immediately and seek help if necessary. 

A person who starts to control you presents a toxic situation, and it only worsens with time. Turning a blind eye with hopes that things will improve is dangerous and naive. Check this guide for characteristics of healthy/unhealthy relationships.

10. Financial imbalance

Among the signs you’re not meant to be together is not only a different outlook on handling finances, but also an imbalance in earnings. Typically, healthy couples with different income statuses find a healthy balance in their relationship. 

But if the two of you also view the budget from entirely different standpoints, it can significantly complicate the partnership. Money is a common reason for couples not to work out.

11. A socialite and a homebody

When you get together initially, you believe everything is workable, no matter how the challenges appear. Unfortunately, some things could be more of an issue than you’re willing to acknowledge. 

If one person enjoys being out with friends and having a good time routinely, while the other prefers quiet time at home by the fire, these are signs that you’re not meant to be together, whether you want to consider that or not. 

How will you make this compromise, or more appropriately, who will make the compromise? It’s something to think about.

12. Long-distance love

No one wants to admit that long-distance love can be tricky, with many becoming defensive that it is doable and probable that they will be the one couple that makes it work. 

But when you think about seeing someone maybe one time every other month while learning about each other by text or email, how do you genuinely know if you’re right for each other without regular, physical interaction? 

Not only do you not get to know the other person in all their glory, but you don’t get to see the warning signs you’re not meant to be together.

13. Married in a month

You were scared you would never meet the one, and then, boom, out of the blue comes to your ideal mate, the person you were meant to marry after only a month of dating. Is that even possible? 

Some say yes. There could even be relationships going on decades after minimal courting. As a rule, though, marriage is a significant commitment to enter into after such a brief period, only to find out that you’re not good together at some point (usually shortly after the honeymoon phase).  

If you know beyond a doubt this person is meant to be your mate, wait until you get to know the authentic version and then commit fully. The only thing you have to lose is someone with whom you’re truly not meant to be.

14. Opinions are not appreciated here

Instead of agreeing to disagree, there is much contention over different views. Don’t commit to this person. There are so many signs you’re not meant to be together with this individual. 

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and the person we spend our lives with listens to, appreciates, and respects how you feel on any topic and vice versa without fight or debate. 

You don’t have to agree. In fact, in many cases, you likely won’t share views, but if you’re meant to be together, you also won’t fight over these differences.

Related Reading: 10 Things To Do If You Feeling Unappreciated In A Relationship

15. Apologies are not a suggestion

When someone is wrong, an apology should not be a suggestion. If you find that you’re the one apologizing each time there’s a disagreement or argument, regardless if you were the initiator or what it’s concerning, that could be an indication you’re not right for each other. 

Both individuals in a partnership should take their fair share of the responsibility, including making apologies when warranted. Not doing so is inconsiderate of a partner’s feelings.

16. Time together is an afterthought

Among the signs you’re not meant to be together is when you’re not made one of the priorities in your mate’s life. 

Suppose you haven’t had alone time in quite a while, so you schedule a date night, but when the time comes, your partner cancels in favor of a sports night with a friend or chooses to volunteer extra hours at the office. 

In that case, you might decide the two of you are wrong for each other because your partner never wants to choose you when there’s an opportunity for a night out. 

It would be best if you had someone who wanted to be with you. This person is making it clear it’s not them.

Related Reading: Making Time For You And Your Spouse

17. Incompatible in the bedroom

Among the significant signs you’re not meant to be together is if you’re incompatible sexually. Sex is one of the primary components for establishing closeness, trust, and intimacy in a relationship. 

It’s one of the ways you become vulnerable and learn about the other person. If you can’t have that with your mate, you might find that the two of you are simply not right for each other. 

Sex isn’t always a reason to pull a dead stop in the partnership. If you mesh remarkably in every other way except sex, perhaps there’s a health issue or an underlying cause for the incompatibility. 

You can always attempt to work at it before deciding you’re not a good fit as a couple.

18. Family and close friends are not on board

The opinions of family and close friends are of utmost importance to us. Whether we want to admit it or not, what they think of our mates does play a part in the partnership, especially for the one they may or may not like. 

If your family members or perhaps best friends are not fond of your significant other, that person will not want to interact with these people because your relatives and friends won’t make your mate comfortable. 

While family and friends will tolerate this person for your sake and so they can see you, these individuals will likely not make it easy for your partner and, in turn, for you, basically causing you to consider if your partner is meant to be.

19. Jealousy rears its head

One sign you’re not meant to be together is when jealousy takes over. 

If you find you cannot bring your mate to any occasion without a confrontation over you speaking with someone, they feel you were flirting, or you were behaving inappropriately, and your partner is more than wrong for you; they are becoming toxic. 

Jealousy on this level borders on controlling. If you’ve given no reason for jealousy, there should be no purpose for the insecurity. You can attempt communication to work through the issue, but you will likely not be good together for the long term.

To understand more about the signs of an unhealthy relationship, watch this video.

Related Reading: How To Deal With Jealousy In Relationships

20. Lies or secrets

If you have lies or secrets in the relationship at any point, that’s enough said as far as whether this person is good for you or not. They are not. Both of these things destroy trust. 

When you lose trust, there’s no longer a healthy, solid partnership, making it time to move on to a mate with whom you can establish that bond.

21. Wait – let’s try again (and again)

You broke up for maybe the third time, but you want to try again. Each of these times equates to signs you’re not meant to be together. There were reasons you couldn’t make it work. 

Avoiding genuine issues prevents you from putting a final closure to the problems and moving on to a healthy, stable partnership. 

It’s time to sit down with effective communication and active listening skills to discuss why you’re not good together, so each of you can let go. 

What to do before you decide the relationship is over

Not every sign on this list carries the same weight. It’s worth separating patterns that reflect real incompatibility from challenges a couple can work through together. A financial gap or living in different cities isn’t automatically a dealbreaker; how you handle those differences together matters more than the differences themselves.

If what you’re noticing involves control, deception, or a pattern of feeling unsafe, that’s a different category entirely, and worth addressing with a professional rather than a checklist. Find a Therapist if you want support sorting through what you’re seeing.

For everything else, talk to your partner directly about what you’ve noticed before deciding it’s unfixable. Many of these signs are worth naming out loud first, since a conversation often reveals whether something is a real pattern or just a rough patch.

Final thoughts

Why try to make a relationship work that’s not good for you? It’s better to be single and happy than stuck in a partnership that’s wrong and potentially unhealthy. 

While you’re engaging with the wrong person, you could be blind to the ideal mate sitting right before your eyes. Shake it off and look around.

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Sylvia Smith Author

Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle... Read more in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Read less

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