10 Signs of a Cupioromantic and What It Really Means

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These days, people are usually more open to accepting their uniqueness. Acceptance helps the relationships that you maintain with people around you. 

When it comes to relationship orientations, one of the concepts you should know about is cupioromantic relationships. In this article, you will learn what Cupioromantic means and some signs that someone has this relationship orientation.

Also Try : Romantic Orientation Quiz

What does cupioromantic mean?

When it comes to being cupioromantic, it refers to an individual who craves some aspects of a romantic relationship but experiences little or no romantic attraction. Also, most are unwilling to commit to a romantic partner because it sounds burdensome.

People rarely have crushes or get infatuated with someone when they are waving the cupioromantic flags. It is also very difficult for them to fall in love with just anyone. 

However, there are a few that refer to experiencing a cupioromantic flux because they admit to feeling this way only sometimes.

To understand more about cupioromantic orientation which is categorized under aromantic orientation, you need to know what makes it different from a romantic orientation. Ana Carvalho and David Rodrigues’ research titled ‘Sexuality, Sexual Behavior and Relationships of Asexual Individuals’ provides the needed clarity. 

10 signs of being cupioromantic

Knowing how you respond to the concept of romance determines how you might fare in a relationship when you get into one. A cupioromantic is an aromantic who craves romantic attraction amongst some perks in a relationship.

Here are some of the signs that you might be a cupioromantic:

1. You crave relationship perks but don’t want the attention

One of the ways to know if you are a cupioromantic is that you look forward to benefiting from being in a relationship, but you don’t want the attention in place.

According to Coach Christiana Njoku,

The fear of rejection makes connection a challenge, for the cupioromantic heart beats with cautious reserve.

This means that you probably want the romantic aspects of a relationship like commitment, passion, intimacy, etc. However, you don’t want to share those romantic feelings with another person. If this resonates with you, it means that you might be a cupioromantic.

2. You don’t have crushes on people

Have you noticed that when some of your friends have crushes on people, you are often the odd one out? It might mean that you are cupioromantic.

When it comes to the signs of being cupioromantic, you will notice that you don’t crush on people as others do.

You will begin to wonder what makes the person special, but you might face difficulty answering such questions. This does not understate the fact that you will still appreciate them for who they are.

However, romantic feelings will be absent in these cases. If those feelings creep in mistakenly, they won’t usually last for a long time because it is not something you are used to or open to.

3. You are open to dating, but you try to bury the idea

Another cupioromantic test is that you may appreciate the idea of dating, but it irritates you when it begins to actually materialize before you. If you force yourself to consider the prospects of dating someone, it may not take long before the idea begins to irritate you.

Hence, if you are cupioromantic, you will likely abandon the idea of dating another person. If someone comes in after this, the cycle will likely repeat itself because even though dating may excite you, it is not something you want to go ahead with.

4. You ghost potential romantic partners

When it comes to the cupioromantic meaning, one of the ways to know that you are one is when you avoid prospective romantic partners. The moment you notice that they are becoming close, you begin to avoid them. 

You may avoid taking their calls or replying to their texts because you want them to get discouraged. 

Additionally, you want to avoid falling in love, so ghosting them is the best option. The thought of having someone after you puts you off. So, you prefer to end things before they get started.

Christiana Njoku says,

To avoid heartache, reassess your expectations, for cupioromantic don’t easily surrender to love’s tender trap.

5. You avoid dates and hangouts

If you have ever asked what is cupioromantic, one of the ways to know its true definition is to check out the signs.

Licensed professional counselor, Christiana Njoku stated,

Cupioromantic flee from fluttering hearts and romantic whispers, seeking refuge in emotional distance and independence.

Most times, as a cupioromantic, you may prefer to avoid dates and hangouts because of the possibility of seeing someone that might get romantically involved with you.

In addition, if you ever want to go for a hangout or date, you prefer it with your single friends because the chances of meeting someone new reduces.

Similarly, if someone asks you out on a date, you will likely turn it down because you don’t want to develop feelings for them. Also, you don’t want them to develop feelings for you. 

Also Try : Is It a Date or Hanging Out? 

6. People accuse you of leading them on

Do people often accuse you of leading them on or giving them false hopes? If you’ve experienced this before, you are likely cupioromantic.

Some people might approach you with the intent of being romantically involved with you. However, you might not be aware of this because all you want are platonic friendships.

Consequently, when they bring up the idea of dating, you may begin to distance yourself from them because you are not open to the idea yet.

Watch this video to see the signs someone is leading you on: 

Related Reading: How to Handle Psychological Effects of False Accusations in a Relationship

7. You are reluctant to make new friends: a small circle

If you are someone who finds it difficult to make friends and you prefer to keep a small circle, you might be cupioromantic. This is because you might find it unsettling that you don’t know what is on the mind of the new person you are meeting.

Hence, you ditch the idea of being friends with them until you are sure that all their gestures are platonic.

All the friends in your life might mostly be single. In contrast, those in a relationship do not involve you in their affairs because they understand your natural disposition to romantic relationships.

8. You consider rejecting gifts from people you barely know

When people you are unfamiliar with give you gifts, you are always reluctant to receive them. You often reject their friendly gestures because you are unsure of what they want.

You always want to be sure of their intent before accepting their gifts.

If you notice that they have a hidden intent, you will most likely return their gifts or stop interacting with them because you don’t want their feelings to develop further.

Also, you don’t want to be romantically involved with them because a relationship sounds like a chore.

9. You are a private person on social media platforms

If you have ever asked questions like is cupioromantic valid, the answer is yes. One of the ways to know if you are a cupioromantic is your activity on social media platforms. If you are the type that prefers to keep a small circle of friends on your social media accounts, then you are a cupioromantic.

You know that people find love online, but you don’t want to fall into that category. Therefore, you prefer to interact with people you know instead of strangers. In addition, you are likely to put your accounts on the private mode to reduce the possibility of meeting new people. 

Related Reading: 8 Ways Social Media Ruins Relationships

10. You are mostly emotionally unavailable

When it comes to a cupioromantic relationship, it might be hard for the individual to be emotionally available. When your partner expresses their emotions and feelings, you will find it hard to identify with them because you cannot relate.

Christiana Njoku emphasizes, 

Fear of rejection makes connection a challenge, for the cupioromantic heart beats with cautious reserve.

Also, you will find it hard to share yours with them because you don’t know what to expect. Hence, you prefer to bottle yours up, making you more emotionally unavailable in a relationship.

Cupioromantic in a relationship

In a relationship, a cupioromantic would find it hard to love their partner for who they are because cupioromantics are not romantically involved. However, this does not mean that they cannot be committed or dedicated to any relationship.

A cupioromantic can make a relationship work, but it would be possible when their partners understand their peculiarity and treat them accordingly.

When loving a cupioromantic, you need to also focus on loving them genuinely as a person. This would help make things easier when you want to introduce your romantic intent.

Erica Mulder’s book Aromanticism 101 helps you understand more about Cupioromantic romantic orientation. This book provides an in-depth insight into individuals with this orientation. 

How to support loved ones who identify as cupioromantic

Many who are cupioromantic usually feel left out because usually, people don’t understand them. 

One of the ways to support cupioromantics is to avoid forcing romantic relationships on them. Instead, allow them to live their life without any pressure. With time, they might find someone they are comfortable with to begin a romantic relationship.

Helping cupioromantics might be difficult until you understand more about them. In Emily Lund’s research study titled ‘Examining Concordant and Discordant Sexual and Romantic Attraction in American Adults,’ you will understand more about how to help them. 

Final thoughts

If you want to know if you are a cupioromantic or not, you can take a look at the signs mentioned above or take a cupioromantic test or quiz online. Additionally, you can contact a counselor to understand more about yourself and how you can handle romantic relationships when it is time for you to get involved with someone.

Remember that being cupioromantic is not a defect. Rather, it shows you have a unique disposition to romance, and people around you need to learn to respect that.