Physical Attraction in Relationships: Is there romance beyond it?

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How important is physical attraction in a relationship? While physical attraction must not be the sole reason why you fall for your someone, it’s among the top factors for many budding romances.

Romantic attraction speeds things up. You go right to the point and enter into a relationship instead of being friends first while trying to figure out whether or not you have things in common. 

Is love without attraction possible? Can a person be physically attracted but not sexually lured to someone they go into a relationship with? Is physical attraction in a relationship important?

Read on if you want to learn about all these and more.

Times have changed, and people these days have many options on how to find their dates. You can go the old-fashioned way of getting to know a person first before going out with them or being friends prior to taking things to a different level.

The good thing about the old ways of romance is that you rely on personality attraction more than physical attraction in a relationship. You already know them and have established a bond, so you tend to look past their appearance.

However, this is not the case for modern dating, such as blind dating and online dating. You don’t know the person you’d meet, so you can’t exactly gauge their personality just yet. 

You never know whether or not they are only putting their best foot forward, especially at the first instance of your (virtual) meeting.

What mostly happens in modern times is physical relationship romance. You look for physical attraction signs before deciding whether you should go out with the person.

For example, when using an online dating app, you can swipe the screen as many times as you want to check your probable matches once logged in. Since you don’t know these people, you can only judge them based on their looks and vice versa. 

Physical attraction, in this case, plays a crucial role in picking your date and getting picked. This brings more questions to the table. 

How can a relationship (between a) romantic physical relationship (and) romantic love progress when the attraction is skin deep? What if you pursue a person but later find out that there is nothing between you but the initial relationship attraction?

What is physical attraction in romance?

There are many types of attraction, including physical attraction, romantic attraction, aesthetic attraction, and emotional attraction. They all comprise what makes you feel a connection with someone.

It’s possible to feel all these types of attraction to a person at once. You may also likely feel the combination of romantic attraction and physical attraction when you first go out with someone. 

But what if you are only physically attracted to a person? Will this suffice for the relationship to prosper and become romantic later on?

Physical attraction in romance pertains to the desire to be with your special someone often. You crave their affection and physical touch. 

However, not every physical attraction is sexual or romantic. The desire to be touched or touch someone may be intended for your family or pet, such as kissing or hugging. 

So how do you know that it’s a physical attraction on a romantic level and not the emotions you feel when with a family or your pet? Here are the factors to look into when deciding whether the physical attraction you’re having is leading somewhere on the romantic path:

Intimacy: It pertains to the emotional, romantic, sexual, and physical bond between the people involved in a relationship.

Sensual: It doesn’t necessarily mean sexual, but this type of attraction makes you long to touch a person and be touched in return.

Subjective physical: This is what others see when they look at you as a couple. This means that other people would notice the physical chemistry between two people when it’s present, even though you’re not in a relationship.

Objective physical: This happens when most people view someone as physically attractive, but you don’t share the same perception. You may be attracted to the person, but not based on how they look.

Don’t worry if you don’t immediately feel attracted to someone. Women are distinct from men in that their physical attraction to someone increases as their emotional attachment to them strengthens.

Usually, the initial spark you experience with someone results from their physical chemistry. Your initial attraction to someone is what pulls you in. 

This chemistry is entirely dependent on physical attraction in a relationship and has nothing to do with your partner’s personality, common objectives, or anything else. 

Besides, real life is different from romantic movies. It’s rare that you will meet someone you will fall in love deeply with at first glance. But it happens to some.

The value of having romance beyond physical attraction

If you want a lasting relationship, you have to give it time. It’s crucial that you learn to go beyond what your eyes see as you meet more people and as you search for a romantic partner.

The truth is that love doesn’t necessarily begin with physical attraction. While it’s true that some couples are drawn to one another like magnets and find it difficult to keep their hands apart when they first meet, this isn’t always the case. 

More often than not, physical attraction in a relationship develops as two people get to know each other mentally and emotionally. And it may take time, or it may not develop at all, depending on the circumstances or what you find out as you get to know each other deeper.

So how come you often hear people clicking or that when they’re together, sparks are flying? Both instances do not describe physical attraction, but they are the more suitable definition of mental attraction.

In a similar vein, your feelings for someone may have nothing to do with how they look. Some people enter into a relationship despite the lack of physical attraction. They may be more attracted to the person because of their personality or how they treat them, but not necessarily their appearance.

This is a good foundation for romance. If you aren’t drawn to someone just because they look good, you’d have more time to learn about each other on a non-physical level. You only have to let things flow naturally; eventually, the physical attraction will develop even though you did not plan it to happen.

This is a romantic attraction definition, which is something that develops on its own. What is romantic attraction?

You will understand the relationship (between a) romantic physical relationship (and) romantic love better once you experience romantic attraction. More than the looks, you learn to value the soul within, the person they are. 

This makes you unearth more about them and discover their traits and personality. You get to see the spark and what makes you click without the need for other people to say you look good together.

This is why personality matters more than looks when it comes to romance. It can take time to create this connection, and it will probably progress as you get to know each other from the inside out. 

The lesson of the story is that physical attraction doesn’t have to be present from the beginning. Hence, if you aren’t feeling as physically drawn to someone as you hoped you would be, do not shut them down easily. It may not be there yet, but it will get there if you give it time.

Ways to boost physical attraction in sustaining a romantic relationship

Have you come to a point when you’re asking what’s love without a physical relationship? You constantly ponder about how important is attraction in a relationship because it seems like what you have is not going anywhere.

You may be emotionally attracted but not sexually drawn to your partner. Or do you have a lingering question about “why is he so sexually attracted to me?” 

The reason why you often find yourself asking what is romantic attraction is that it’s something that you want, but you are not there yet.

How do you get there? First of all, it’s a good thing that you’re asking all these questions. It means you are not the type to give up easily in a relationship.

Instead, you look for the romantic attraction definition, physical attraction vs sexual attraction, and physical attraction vs emotional attraction. While at it, you may want to find ways how to improve physical attraction in a relationship.

You already got something serious going on. All you need to focus on now is how to make it stronger. Here are some tips for developing physical attraction with your partner:

1. Make intimacy a priority in your relationship

You will both grow old eventually, and your physical attributes will change. This will affect the relationship badly if you are solely focused on physical attraction.

It will help the relationship to be intimate with each other. It doesn’t only mean on a sexual level but being intimate emotionally, mentally, and physically. 

You have to understand what makes each other tick and how to pacify one another during fights or when there are problems.

You must develop the kind of intimacy that will last even after your physical appearance has changed drastically. When that happens, you will be able to define physical attraction vs emotional attraction and physical attraction vs sexual attraction without the help of books or other people.

2. Consider relationship counseling

When something feels amiss in a relationship, including having thoughts about – why is he so sexually attracted to me, but I don’t feel the same about him? This means that you have to work harder on your physical relationship romance.

If you have tried everything, including talking about physical relationship romance or being emotionally attracted but not sexually drawn to your partner, but nothing seems to be working, you have to try harder. This is where therapy can help. What kind of therapy? Only the two of you in the relationship could answer that.

But you need to remember that it’s not bad to undergo relationship counseling and therapy, including sex therapy. It can even unlock the full potential of your relationship. It may hold the keys to finally realizing the physical attraction signs you have ignored before.

Sex therapy helps partners understand the importance of sexual intimacy and how to do it right. It also makes you both aware of what’s lacking in the bedroom and how you can make that part of your relationship more exciting.

This therapy can make you feel closer. It can also help improve communication between partners.

3. Find out more about each other’s senses

If you are still working on your sexual chemistry and physical attraction, you have to be more observant and explore your partner’s various senses. This means that you will try to put yourself in their shoes.

For example, you can listen to their favorite music as you try to understand what about this music makes them sentimental. You can also watch their favorite film and look for the reasons they cry or laugh when watching it. 

You will find it easier to make a connection with your partner when you understand their emotions.

4. Have fun

Never miss a chance to be goofy and playful when you are around each other. Sharing laughter and joy is something valuable in any relationship. You will miss it when your partner’s not with you. Give them reasons to miss and long for you.

5. Go out on dates

Even after you have committed to someone, this doesn’t mean you’d stop date nights altogether. Explore new restaurants, go places, or try new experiences. 

You never know, but a change of ambiance even once in a while might make it easier for the two of you to develop physical attraction and make the romantic attraction stronger.

Related Reading: 30 Creative Date Ideas for Couples

What is romantic attraction and what are the signs that it’s present?

How do you know that you have already developed a romantic physical attraction with someone? When you often ask what is romantic attraction, the more chances that you are already there.

A physical relationship romance happens when you respond to your partner emotionally and physically. Yearning is present, meaning you want to be with them all the time.

However, different people experience different levels of romantic attraction. Some know it’s there when they are sexually attracted to their partner. Others yearn for their partners to be happy above all else.

Here are the top signs that you have a physical relationship romance or you are already romantically attached to your partner:

1. You long for their companionship in good and bad times

You want to share with your partner everything that’s happening in your life. You want them to be the first to know about your promotion, the death of a loved one, or simple things like a new haircut. This is because you value what they have to say.

2. You are already at the point of thinking about raising a family

You see your partner as the right person to raise children with. You think about it all the time that it makes you happy and full of love. You get giddy when you imagine children you will share and care for together as a couple.

3. You want to spend all important events with your partner

You are at the point in your life when you cannot help but feel light just thinking that you’d wake up with your partner by your side. You also want to celebrate all holidays, important family, and life occasions and events with them.

The other person becomes a part of you, and it just happened. You did not plan it, but it’s how you feel.

4. You want them to be happy

You become protective of your partner and your relationship. You feel sad when things don’t go their way. And you do things to protect them from harm or sadness.

5. You are infatuated

Just thinking about your partner makes you want to be with them. It’s like high school all over. You always talk about them with other people and pop your partner’s name in any conversation.

Learn more about the importance of physical attraction in a relationship through this video:

Frequently asked questions

In this section, we’re trying to cover some more relevant questions around physical attraction and its role in a relationship. Here are the common questions people ask about physical attraction in a relationship:

• Is it possible to develop romantic attraction?

Yes. If you haven’t yet, you have to make more effort to get to know your partner better and make a connection. It is also possible that you haven’t found the right person.

• Can romance thrive without physical attraction?

Yes. Physical attraction is subjective. It may not be there in the beginning, but it will develop as you get to know the other person deeper.

• Can I love a person without physical attraction?

Yes. The fact that you already love the person says a lot. It means that you have accepted them beyond what your eyes can see. 

• Will my relationship end due to a lack of physical attraction?

Yes. This can happen, but when it does, it only means that the relationship is not worth it. You may find more happiness in others who will accept you beyond your appearance.

Aim for a wholesome romance!

While physical attraction can be a foundation of some relationships, it is better if you will commit to someone based on your emotional and mental connection. This will make the relationship stronger and last longer. 

If you have been in a relationship with someone for years but are still trying to work on the physical attraction, you may want to consider counseling to be guided on what to do to achieve this and make the sparks fly when your partner is around.