How to Deal With Procrastination in Relationships: 12 Key Tips

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Procrastination is the thief of time. – Edward Young

Imagine this: You’ve asked your partner to help with planning a weekend trip. Days pass, and nothing happens. They keep putting it off, promising they’ll “get to it later.” Sound familiar? 

Procrastination in relationships can be frustrating, leading to tension and feelings of being neglected.

Have you ever wondered why your partner delays handling important tasks? Do you find yourself putting off serious relationship conversations? Why do we procrastinate, especially in areas that matter most?

Pause for a moment. If you’re nodding along, this article is for you. 

We’re getting into how to deal with procrastination in relationships, offering effective tips to overcome these challenges together.

Interestingly, research shows that procrastination isn’t just about laziness—it’s often tied to emotional regulation. 

By understanding the facts about procrastination, you can learn new ways of dealing with procrastination in your relationship, forge stronger connections and less frustration. 

What is procrastination?

The origin of the word comes from “pro” which means forward, and “cras,” which means tomorrow.  Procrastination is the voluntary act of postponing or delaying a task or an activity, a habit that means putting tasks up to the last minute or past a set deadline.

Humans have the natural tendency to circumvent and avoid feelings of fear and disappointment when faced with overwhelming tasks and responsibilities. However, chronic procrastination can have some profound effects on the life of procrastinators and those around them.

Licensed Mental Health Counselor Kimberly Smith highlights,

Procrastination can come from a fear of failure, not knowing when or where to start, or a lack of urgency in completing the task. Although the intentions behind procrastination is not malicious, the impact can have serious consequences for everyone involved.

So what is a procrastinator?

A procrastinator is someone who consciously puts off decisions and actions. They can delay doing the action by getting distracted easily or avoid completing a task or dealing with a problem or a situation by focusing their time and energy on trivial matters.

Since procrastinating can be detrimental to almost all areas of our lives, and especially in our relationships, many are keen on finding effective ways to deal with procrastination.

What are the types of procrastinators?

Procrastination is a normal human reaction. Even accomplished and highly driven individuals procrastinate. A career-oriented person can come up with excuses to delay accomplishing something for whatever reason they can think of.

To better understand and successfully apply procrastination overcome strategies, let’s have a look at the 4 types of procrastinators:

• The delayer

Delayers often put off tasks because they often worry about going out of their comfort zones. This way of doing things may work a few times. However, this habit is not sustainable and can cause a lot of stress.

• The perfectionist

Fear of failure is often the main reason why perfectionists defer in accomplishing their tasks. They often equate success with how well they performed something. These effects of procrastination paralyzed perfectionists because they wait for everything to be perfect before they started doing something.

• The easily distracted

People who are easily distracted find it hard to hyper-focus on their tasks. This type of procrastinator is the most common and can be experienced by everyone. 

Many of us have trouble starting and finishing our work because we often look for ways to get stimulated, which in turn allows us to lose our focus and attention.

• The performer

This type of procrastinator forces themselves to believe that they are at their best when they work under pressure. They often survive by putting pressure on themselves to deliver at the last minute.

We may feel distracted and unmotivated from time to time. The secret is not to fall into the trap of this common avoidance behavior. When you know what type of procrastinator you and your partner are, you’ll know what your challenges are and how to overcome them.

5 common reasons why partners procrastinate

Procrastination is often more complex than simple laziness. If you’ve ever thought, “Procrastination is ruining my life,” understanding the reasons behind it is the first step toward change.

Here are five common procrastination causes and effects in relationships:

How does procrastination affect relationships?

One of the main effects is how damaging it can be to our relationships, most especially to our partners. Couples may struggle if both or any of them avoid doing and talking about issues that affect them.

A couple or a partner who procrastinates can eventually sabotage their relationship. An indirect effect of procrastination involves affecting one’s self-esteem, anxiety level, and depression. A procrastinator often feels remorse which can affect their well-being and personality.

Other effects of procrastination include feelings of guilt and mounting frustrations. These negative effects can be detrimental to how you deal with those around you, especially your loved ones.

Dealing with procrastination is essential to nourish our bond and intimacy with our partners. It affords us the time and freedom to be with the people who matter most.

How to tell if you or your partner is procrastinating?

As mentioned, procrastination is not necessarily bad. However, not knowing how to handle procrastination can cause serious relationship problems.

Below are some telltale signs if you or your partner is procrastinating:

• You don’t meet deadlines
• You get distracted easily
• You feel a strain in your relationship
• You make excuses
• You become bored
• You don’t set realistic and achievable goals.
• You are always late
• You find yourself doing petty and non-essential tasks

Living with a procrastinator can be challenging, and if not addressed, it can be a contributing factor to your mental and emotional distress.

Can procrastination ruin relationships?

Absolutely, procrastination can quietly erode the foundation of even the strongest relationships. 

When one partner constantly delays important tasks or decisions, it can breed frustration, resentment, and even a sense of neglect. You start feeling like you’re carrying the emotional and practical weight of the relationship on your own, and that’s exhausting.

Imagine asking your partner to plan a date night or discuss future plans, only for them to endlessly postpone it. Over time, this can create a sense of disconnect—leaving one partner feeling unheard or unimportant. So, how do you avoid falling into this trap?

Learning how to deal with procrastination is key. If you’re wondering how to live with a procrastinator, you first need to acknowledge the presence of the problem and from where it begins.

Remember, while procrastination might seem like a minor issue, its impact on trust and emotional intimacy can be far-reaching if left unchecked. 

What to do when your partner is procrastinating?

If you notice your partner procrastinating, refrain from being too controlling and trying hard to change his behavior. Take a deep breath and accept your partner’s limitations and shortcomings.

Be patient and supportive, then work with them in shedding the habit. Control the urge to push them and tell them what to do. Instead, offer constructive advice and help. If you keep on nagging about their behavior, they’ll be more likely to ignore, or worse, resent you. 

Sounding too controlling and condescending can be a cause of tension in your relationship.

Help your partner by making a list of what needs to be done and stop verbally reminding them about it. Thank your partner once they have accomplished their tasks and make them feel loved and appreciated.

How to deal if you or your partner is a procrastinator: 12 potent ways

If you or your partner is a procrastinator, you may be looking for ways on how to deal with procrastination. First and foremost, you must accept and love your partner for who and what they are.

Before you or your partner get annoyed and impatient with your bad habits, here are some helpful strategies for dealing with procrastination:

1. Have the right mindset

It is advised to go easy on yourself or your partner for having procrastinated. Being too hard on yourself can keep you down and make you feel more stressed.

How to begin:

Start by acknowledging that everyone procrastinates at some point, including you and your partner. Instead of focusing on the frustration, remind yourself that growth takes time. Being kind to yourself or your partner is a great first step in building momentum.

2. Get your task done

Staying committed and consistent is one solution to procrastination. Procrastination’s worst enemy is your ability to just get things done.

How to begin:

Choose one small task you’ve been putting off and commit to finishing it today. Even if it’s something simple like folding laundry or replying to an email, completing it can give you the boost you need. This is how to deal with procrastination, one small victory at a time.

3. Break down overwhelming tasks

Take one step at a time. Plan on how to deal with procrastination by breaking up your tasks into small actionable steps. This strategy gives you structure and a sense of accomplishment.

How to begin:

Pick a task that feels overwhelming, then break it down into 2-3 simple steps. Start with the easiest one. By chipping away at it, you’ll feel more accomplished and less stressed, and this makes how to deal with procrastination manageable.

4. Buddy up on Your accountability

Another thing you and your partner can do is to work together and remind each other. Being each other’s accountability partners can be a way for you to bond and strengthen your relationship.

How to begin:

Sit down with your partner and agree on a task you both want to complete. Set a time to check in with each other’s progress. Even a quick chat or text reminder can keep you on track while building teamwork in your relationship.

5. Eliminate distractions

A seemingly simple and innocent distraction can be enough to cause you to lose focus and interest in the task at hand. If you always check your phone, you and your partner can agree to keep it away while working on something so as not to get distracted.

How to begin:

Pick one distraction that typically slows you down, like your phone, and agree with your partner to place it in another room while you work. A small adjustment like this is a huge step in how to deal with procrastination together.

6. Create a schedule or to-do list

Creating and using a schedule and to-do list is a simple yet effective way of dealing with procrastination. Both of you can create your own set of schedules for individual tasks. Or you can both list tasks you can work on together.

How to begin:

Write down three tasks you want to tackle today and encourage your partner to do the same. Keep your lists simple and realistic. Crossing off tasks feels great and can become a rewarding habit for both of you.

7. Get excited

One of the facts about procrastination is that the beginning is the most daunting. Set the mood, pump up your adrenaline, and get excited. You can play upbeat music to set the mood before embarking on your, let’s say, house cleaning or gardening.  

How to begin:

Turn routine tasks into something fun. Play some music, set a playful challenge with your partner, or turn boring chores into a mini competition. A burst of energy can make dealing with procrastination feel like less of a chore.

8. Set a timer

Setting a timer is one of the ways on how to handle procrastination. This strategy creates a false sense of pressure that you need to finish the task in a specified time. It conditions your brain to get competitive and allows you to finish a task before the set time.

How to begin:

Start small. Set a timer for just 10 minutes and see how much you can accomplish. You’ll be surprised how this trick motivates you to beat the clock. Plus, it’s an easy, low-pressure way to get started.

9. Use rig words

As humans, we don’t like it if someone bosses us around and tells us what to do. 

Rephrase how you order yourself or your partner when you want something done. Use the words “I choose to” instead of “I need to” or “I have to.” Doing so makes you and your partner feel more empowered and inspired.

How to begin:

When facing a task, say “I choose to” instead of “I have to.” This subtle shift in language gives you more control and helps your partner feel empowered rather than pressured.

10. Apply the 5-minute rule

The 5-minute rule is a popular solution to procrastination. Self-help experts recommend giving yourself 5 minutes of complete uninterrupted work. It usually takes this long to get someone motivated.

How to begin:

Pick any task and promise yourself to work on it for just 5 minutes. Often, getting started is the hardest part, but once you begin, it’s easier to keep going. Use this as your go-to solution to procrastination when you feel stuck.

Check out this video to know more about the 5-minute rule:

11. Keep trying

Remember how badly you and your partner want to kick off this bad habit. Just keep trying. There are days when you may feel like it is a big challenge, be patient with yourself and your partner and keep trying.

How to begin:

When things get tough, take a deep breath and remind yourself that it’s okay to struggle. Progress is rarely linear. Reflect on how far you’ve come and encourage your partner to do the same. Persistence is key.

12. Reward yourself

As with any endeavor, a reward is sweeter if you accomplished something. It is easier to get things done if you are thinking of a reward if you have accomplished something challenging. When you celebrate small wins, it gives you a sense of motivation and accomplishment.

How to begin:

Decide on a small reward for completing your task, whether it’s a favorite snack, a relaxing break, or time to do something you love. Knowing there’s a treat waiting at the end can make the effort feel much more rewarding!

Get in action

Dealing with procrastination doesn’t have to be a never-ending struggle. It’s all about understanding why it happens and taking small, meaningful steps to tackle it together. 

The journey won’t be perfect, but progress is what counts. Whether it’s eliminating distractions, breaking tasks down, or simply supporting each other, each effort brings you closer to a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

The key is to keep showing up for each other—even when things feel overwhelming. Start by applying one or two strategies today and see how it transforms your dynamic. 

Ready to take on procrastination together? The change you want is totally within reach.