6 Reasons Online Relationships Are Doomed to Fail

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Meeting the love of your life is as simple as opening up a dating app and scrolling through potential soulmates, right?

Whether you have been spurned by love in the past, have a crazy busy schedule, or are in a spot in your life where it’s tough to meet people, dating online has never been a more popular option.

With algorithms and matchmaking skills on our side, what is it about online dating that makes it so hard to meet your perfect match?

Online dating isn’t the easy breezy road to love that it’s cracked up to be. Online relationships can fail and sometimes they work as well. So we are discussing both the pros and cons below. 

6 reasons online relationships are doomed to fail

Here are some reasons why you should avoid online relationships if you aren’t already in one. 

1. You aren’t looking for the same things

“Sure, people say they’re looking for the same things you are, but they’re not really. When I meet girls online, half the time, I don’t even read their profile – I just agree with whatever they say so that I can hopefully meet them and hook up. Shady, I know, but true.” – José, 23

When you fill out your online dating profile, you’re doing so with the hopes of catching someone’s eye who has the same goals and interests that you do. Unfortunately, José isn’t the only one scamming his online lovers. A 2012 research study found that men spend 50% less time reading dating profiles than women do.

This can lead to bad experiences and bad match-ups that may leave you feeling more than a little “blah” about online romance.

Related Reading: 10 Signs You Are Not on the Same Page in the Relationship

2. Liar, liar, pants on fire

“When you date someone online, you can be whoever you want to be. I dated this British girl online for 4 years. We met in person plenty of times and always talked on the phone. Turns out, she was married, and she wasn’t even British. She lied to me the whole time.” – Brian, 42.

The reality of online dating is this: you never know who you’re talking to behind the screen. It could be someone using a fake picture or name or lying on their profile to get more matches. They could be married, have kids, have a different job, or lie about their nationality. The possibilities are terrifyingly endless.

The unfortunate thing is that this behavior isn’t uncommon. According to a study conducted by the University of Wisconsin-Madison, 81% of people online lie about their weight, age, and height on their dating profiles.

Maggie Martinez, LCSW, says

It is important to ensure that if you are engaged in online dating, you see the person face to face in real life as soon as possible.

3. You can’t meet in person and progress

“I don’t care what anybody says, long-distance relationships are pretty much impossible! If I can’t meet someone and hold their hand and build a physical connection with them, yes including sex, then things just can’t progress normally.” – Ayanna, 22.

Online romance is a great way to learn the art of communication. You open up and get to know each other better because, for the most part, all you have in your relationship are words. However, so much of a relationship is about unspoken things. It’s about sexual chemistry and sexual and non-sexual intimacy.

Studies show that the oxytocin hormone released during sex is largely responsible for building bonds of trust and strengthening your emotional intimacy and relationship satisfaction. Without this important aspect of bonding, the relationship may grow stale.

4. You never meet

“I dated this guy for a while online. We lived in the same state a few hours away, but we never met. I started to think he was catfishing me, but no. We Skyped, and he checked out! He would just never set aside the time to meet me in person. It was really weird and disappointing.” – Jessie, 29.

So, you’ve found someone online that you connect with. You get along so well, and you can’t wait to meet them to help move your relationship forward. The only problem is that a survey done by the Pew Research Center found that one-third of online daters never actually, well, date! They do not meet in person, meaning your online relationship isn’t going anywhere.

Maggie Martinez adds,

You don’t want to be in a situation where you are solely talking to someone only online and never in person. Be aware if someone doesn’t want to meet in person, that’s usually a red flag.

5. You don’t have time for each other

“Online dating is great because you always have someone to talk to, and you can open up quicker online than you would in person. But none of that matters if you live in different time zones and can’t actually spend quality time together, which sort of puts a damper on things for me.” – Hanna, 27.

Part of the reason online relationships are so popular is because many people are so busy they don’t have the time to go out and meet people the old-fashioned way. Dating online is a great way to fit in a little romance when you have the time.

However, this also means they won’t have much time to devote online. Between a busy work schedule and other obligations, some people just don’t have the availability to develop a real, lasting relationship through the internet.

Watch this video to have a better understanding of online relationships. 

6. Statistics are against you

“I’ve read that couples online are more likely to stay married. I’ve read online that online dating statistics are completely against you. I don’t know which to believe, but regardless, online dating has yet to work for me.” – Charlene, 39.

Algorithms may be great for finding like-minded people online, but that doesn’t exactly mean that you’re going to share amazing chemistry together. The book Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking studied 4000 couples and found that those who met online were likelier to break up than those who met in real life.

Even if you try your hardest, online relationships aren’t a guarantee of a happily ever after. Lies, distance, and differences in goals all play their part. This month we encourage you to ditch online romances and go after someone in real life with whom you can have a long-lasting connection for years to come.

How to make your online relationship work?

The common belief that online relationships are doomed is not always true. Many people, with their constant efforts, make their online relationship work and flourish. 

In fact, with the right approach and actions, it can be as good as a normal relationship. Yes, it demands a bit more love, care, nurturing, and constant reassurance, but if both partners are willing to make it work, a little extra effort seems like nothing. 

Here are a few things that can make your doubts about do online relationships work or they vanish in vain. 

1. Communication – Make sure there is no communication gap between you and your partner. 
2. Honesty – If you can stay true to your partner, feelings like insecurity and jealousy will not exist. 
3. Constant effort – Since people keep telling you that online relationships are doomed, you will have to constantly make an extra effort to reassure your partner. 
4. Be more expressive – Express your love more often since you are not there physically present, expressing your love is much needed. 
5. Discuss the future – Take your time but discuss your future together, giving your partner a sense of security. 

Related Reading: Internet Relationship Advice: Pros, Cons, Things to Consider

FAQs 

Are all online relationships doomed? 

It might be hard to believe that online relationships can be successful as they have been advertised to fail eventually. Still, the truth is that it could work with extra effort and will to maintain a relationship. 

The chances are slim as most couples don’t successfully maintain clear communication, and with time, they fall apart. However, people who really value their relationships make sure they constantly put in the required effort to make it work.

How long do online relationships typically last? 

It is not easy to define the time of an online relationship as most people are still figuring out if online relationships are real or do they work. Having said that, people who are in an actual online relationship never give up without trying their best. 

Most breakups in an online relationship happen after six months, however, 

on average, it can last from six months to two years. 

The main reason why people drift apart in an online relationship is a communication barrier. 

Takeaway 

There must be a time when people must think about whether online relationships are bad or unrealistic. We might have a different answer to how long an online relationship will last, but as discussed above, you can make it work with the right approach. Have faith and make sure that you and your partner keep a positive attitude towards each other.