How to Stop Giving Too Much in a Relationship

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Do you want to learn how to stop giving too much in a relationship?

They say the more you give the more you receive in a relationship, but that isn’t always the case. When you love too much, you are at risk of losing your sense of self.

They say healthy relationships are the ones that have balance, but what happens when you are giving too much and receiving little in return?

If you’re tired of giving and getting nothing in return or just tired of your friends insisting that you’re giving too much of your time, love, and energy to your spouse, you’re not alone.

Still, as an affectionate and loving partner, the last thing you want to do is stop caring about someone or pull back in a relationship.

The good news is, you don’t have to pull away from a guy you love in order to have a healthy relationship. 

When over-giving becomes a problem

Some partners are happy to receive love and admiration without giving a single ounce of affection back. In this case, you may find yourself in a toxic relationship.

You may ask yourself: Since when did giving too much become a problem in romance?

According to Grady Shumway, a licensed mental health counselor:

When one partner consistently receives love and admiration without reciprocating, it can lead to imbalance and resentment in the relationship. While giving love and attention is typically seen as positive, when it becomes one-sided, it can create a toxic dynamic where one partner feels unappreciated and undervalued.

Isn’t giving your partner all of your love and attention supposed to be a good thing?Here are some warning signs that it’s time to pull back in a relationship:

• You never speak up for yourself in an attempt to maintain the peace
• Your willingness to put up with bad behavior is attracting poor partners
• You’re still dealing with past relationship baggage
• You can’t say no to your partner
• You’ve stopped caring about someone you used to love or spending time with friends and family
• You are putting your dreams on hold to support their goals
• You don’t feel fulfilled in your relationship
• You begin to resent your partner for not being in a give-and-take relationship

They say that too much of something is bad enough, but is it possible to love someone too much?

Unfortunately, it is. If you love too much, it can prevent growth and begin to damage the relationship you’re trying so hard to build.

10 ways to stop giving too much in a relationship

You don’t need to back off in a relationship in order to save it. You just need to learn how to balance your time and affection. Keep reading for 10 useful tips on how to stop giving too much in a relationship and restore balance to your life.:

1. Confirm you’re giving too much

Giving too much of yourself can be exhausting. Learning to stop caring about someone you’ve given your heart to can also be an emotional challenge. So, how can you restore balance in your relationship?

Make a list to chart your giving for a week. After each act of giving, ask yourself the following questions:

• How much attention do you need from a partner to feel happy?
• Do I actually enjoy giving to my partner?
• What environments led to you giving too much to your spouse?
• How did your partner react to your kindness, and did they ever return your affection?

This can help you to understand more about yourself and your partner.

2. Make your hobbies a priority

Can you love someone too much that you start to lose yourself? Absolutely.

Spending quality time with your partner is one of the best ways to maintain a happy, healthy relationship, but there is such a thing as being too generous with your time.

The more you give, the more you receive. That is how relationships are supposed to work, but if you find you are overextending yourself, it may be time to take a step back.

You do not have to pull back in a relationship completely, just make sure you’re taking solo time for your own interests.

Not only will practicing your hobbies make you happy, but it will allow you to reconnect to your old self.

Related Reading: Tips for Building a Healthy and Stable Relationship

3. Get to the root of your past relationship problems

One reason why you may be stuck in a one-sided relationship is that you had problems in your previous relationship that you haven’t dealt with yet.

For example, previously being with someone unfaithful may have caused insecurities and made you love too much to hold onto your next relationship.

Going to therapy and working through past issues can help you develop healthier relationship habits.

Mental health counselor Grady Shumway says:

Exploring past relationship problems can uncover underlying issues contributing to one-sided dynamics in your current relationship. Experiences of betrayal or insecurity from previous relationships may influence your behavior and attitudes, impacting your ability to maintain balance and boundaries.

4. Spend time with friends and family

You don’t have to stop caring about someone or back off in a relationship to fix your love imbalance. Instead, refocus your priorities.

Instead of making your partner the central figure of your life, make them a healthy part of a balanced life. Part of this balance includes spending time with your family and loved ones.

Your friends and family are the people who ground you. They remind you who you are.

Related Reading: Making Time For You And Your Spouse

5. Take a step back

Can you love someone too much and smother them with affection? Definitely.

To create a healthy give-and-take in the relationship, you may need to re-examine what’s important in your life.

Stepping back into a relationship can help you to examine what your needs are and whether you are truly happy.

When you back off in a relationship, it can also make your partner realize what they are missing.

6. Focus on your goals

For a give-and-take relationship to be healthy, both partners must be willing to support and sacrifice for the other.

Don’t be afraid to pull back in a relationship if your partner is demanding you sacrifice your goals for theirs. Your dreams should not be put on the backburner all because you love too much.

How much attention do you need from someone who is putting your dreams on the backburner? None. Your partner will show their worth when they support your goal pursuits.

Related Reading: Ways To Support Your Spouse’s Passions

7. Plan your alone-time each day

If you need to pull away from a guy you love to make yourself a priority, don’t hesitate to do it.

Spending time alone does not mean that you will stop caring about someone you love. It means you will love yourself more. That self-love will move into other avenues of your life and make you a more confident person who knows your worth.

Check out the video below that discusses the need for personal space in the relationship:

8. Open the lines of communication

In a healthy relationship, the more you give, the more you receive in love, but if you aren’t getting what you need in your relationship, then it’s time to speak up.

Communicate your needs and desires to your partner. Be open about what forms of affection are important to you.

You can even take the Love Language quiz together so that you understand more about how each other likes to give and receive love.

Research shows that couples’ communication and relationship satisfaction go hand in hand.

The happier you are with your partner, the more likely you are to communicate, and the more you communicate, the happier you are in your relationship.

Related Reading: Ways to Make Love Grow by Communicating Well

9. Allow your partner to catch up

How much attention do you need from your partner to feel happy in your relationship?

If you aren’t getting what you need, just be patient.

There is no reason to vow to stop caring about someone when there’s still potential for them to be a great partner.

Just because you are the type of person to jump heart first into a relationship doesn’t mean they are.

Instead of taking your “love too much” attitude elsewhere, give your partner’s heart a chance to catch up to yours.

10. Know when enough is enough

No one wants to feel like they’re being used in a relationship. This is emotionally draining and mentally cruel.

The right time to pull back in a relationship is when you know deep down that you are not getting what you need. If you’ve opened the lines of communication and your partner still isn’t giving back, take it as a sign.

You can’t force your spouse to change. If they say you love too much and refuse to take your relationship seriously, you need to know your worth and end your toxic tryst.

Related Reading: Signs He’s Using You

Conclusion

Can you love someone too much? There is no such thing as loving too much, but there is such a thing as loving the wrong person.

If your partner snidely asks, “How much attention do you need?” or makes you think: “Am I asking for too much in my relationship? It may be a sign that it’s time to back off in a relationship.

Of course, you won’t always have to pull away from a guy or stop caring about someone all to salvage your love life. You just need to restore the balance.