How to Love Yourself in a Relationship: 10 Self-Love Tips

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Although a relationship often has two people, it is important to love yourself, so you can love the person you are with.

According to the experienced transformational coach Dionne Eleanor Reid:

True love begins with self-love. The more you love yourself, the more room you create for love to flow freely in your relationships.

Of course, it can be challenging to learn how to love yourself in a relationship, but it is possible. Here’s a look at how to do this, along with reasons why it is important to have self-love.

Can you work on loving yourself while in a relationship?

You can work on loving yourself first in a relationship. This is the same answer as can you learn to love yourself while in a relationship. The answer is yes. 

Something to keep in mind is that there are many ways that you can accomplish this goal as well. When you are wondering what does it mean to love yourself, you must have a positive view of yourself and who you are.

Coach Dionne Eleanor Reid further shares:

The journey to self-love is not a destination; it’s a continuous, evolving process, especially when you’re in a relationship.

If you are always down on yourself or think that you are not worth loving, chances are it will be difficult to maintain relationships. However, having a sense of self-worth can make a lot of difference when it comes to getting along with your mate, especially when they notice how special you are too.

Why self-love is crucial in a relationship

There are multiple reasons why self-love is crucial to any relationship. One reason is that it can make you feel more self-confident, so you will have enough energy to love your partner. You won’t have to worry about not being good enough or thinking negatively about yourself.

Another reason is that you can strengthen your relationship when you have a positive view of yourself. In some instances, practicing self-love permits you to allow others to love you.

Dionne Eleanor adds that:

Loving yourself isn’t just an act of self-care; it’s the foundation for healthy, flourishing relationships.

5 ways to know your self-worth in a relationship

There are so many ways you can practice self-love in a relationship. Here’s a look at 5 ways you may want to consider.

1. Stop thinking so much

One way to learn how to love yourself in a relationship is to stop thinking so much. When you are always second-guessing yourself and you are unsure, this can be something that causes you to be unhappy.

You may also be second-guessing your partner when they tell you how much they like or compliment you, which can leave them frustrated or cause them to stop saying nice things.

However, when you can quiet down some of the thoughts in your head, you can better believe when you hear nice things about yourself. People probably wouldn’t like you if you were as terrible as you sometimes tell yourself you are.

Related Reading: How to Stop Overthinking in a Relationship

2. Stay busy

Another way to consider related to how to love yourself and be confident in a relationship is by staying busy. When you can keep your mind occupied, doubting how awesome you are will be harder. This can make it easier to understand that you are worthy of love and affection.

If you want to know how to stay busy, keep your schedule full, including hanging out with people you trust, going on dates with your partner if you have one, and even taking time doing things you like. You may want to learn to cook a new meal or how to knit. You can watch videos online and keep practicing.

3. Understand you have flaws

It would be best to remember that you have flaws; everyone has them. When you are looking for reasons to love yourself, this is something that you have to keep in the forefront of your mind.

It doesn’t matter if you have flaws and mess up occasionally. There is someone out there for you that will love and care about you. In some cases, you may already be dating them. You can believe them when they say nice things about you; they likely mean them.

As a relationship & empowerment mentor, Dionne highlights that:

Flaws are not imperfections; they are invitations to embrace our uniqueness. Love them as much as you love yourself.

4. Pamper yourself

Anytime you wish to learn how to find happiness within yourself while in a relationship, you must learn how to pamper yourself. This is one of the best ways to discover how to love yourself in a relationship.

Pampering yourself can make you feel special and also allow you to understand that you are special. There are people out there who love you and should also love yourself. Consider taking yourself to a spa or eating at your favorite restaurant. Go ahead and treat yourself.

5. Celebrate successes

You should also ensure you celebrate your successes, even if they are minor. Reward yourself when you meet a milestone or complete a goal. This is important and something meaningful. 

For example, if you have just completed a big project at work and are excited that it is finished, it is okay to take yourself out for ice cream or to buy yourself a gift.

Taking the time out to celebrate yourself can help you learn how to practice self-love in a relationship and could also cause you happiness.

Related Reading: 15 Relationship Milestones That Are Worth Celebrating

10 ways to learn how to love yourself in a relationship

Here’s a look at how to love yourself in a relationship. Consider thinking about these things when you are wondering how do you learn to love yourself.

1. Stop being hard on yourself

Do you tend to be hard on yourself? Maybe you are always saying negative stuff about yourself in your head. It would help if you considered stopping this since it will not help you with self-love before a relationship or once you are in one.

2. Address your self-esteem

Something else you should try your best to address any issues you have with your self-esteem. If you don’t like yourself very much or don’t think you are that special, you must make changes to address this. 

You can practice mindfulness, which can help you stay in the moment, where you aren’t worrying about too many things at once.

3. Take care of health

Taking care of your health is essential, especially as it ties in with learning to love yourself in a relationship. The reason is that once you address any health problems and have a healthy routine, such as exercising regularly and cleaning up your diet, you have fewer things to be mad at yourself about.

When you have made healthy changes and know you are doing positive things for your health, this can boost your self-esteem and self-love.

Related Reading: Simple Steps to Take Care of Your Relationships

4. Do something just for you

There are times when it is okay to do something just for yourself. In fact, in healthy relationships, having time to yourself is essential. 

When you have alone time, do something you like that makes you feel good. You may want to take an extra-long bath or curl up with your dog and watch tv. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you enjoy yourself.

5. Stand up for yourself

Another way that deals with how to love yourself in a relationship is when you can stand up for yourself. You want to avoid getting bossed around unfairly or told what to do. When this bothers you, you must stand up for yourself.

You deserve your wants and needs to be heard, and this is what you should expect in your relationship.

6. Set boundaries

Something that goes with this is setting boundaries. Before you get into a relationship or right after you get into one, it is okay to talk about any boundaries you have. This can offer healthy guidelines for a relationship and lead to fewer issues and arguments.

If there are things you simply don’t like or can’t accept from a partner, these are the things that will be discussed in your boundaries. You can discuss with your mate what their boundaries are as well and make compromises with each other.

7. Work with a therapist

Working with a therapist is also a major way to learn how to love yourself in a relationship. They can address any problems you have with your self-esteem and self-worth or how you talk to yourself.

When you are in a relationship, you can also opt for relationship counseling, which can bring the two of you closer together and help you figure out how to love yourself better.

8. Stay positive

You may have difficulty loving yourself because it is hard to stay positive when you think of yourself and your life, but this can be changed. Think about everything you have done and the people you mean the most to.

Others probably wouldn’t like you if there wasn’t something special about you. Try to remember this and stay positive.

Related Reading: 20 Ways to Build Positive Relationships

9. Take it day to day

When you are overwhelmed with how to love yourself in a relationship, this is to be expected from time to time. However, when you take it daily, you can keep this from happening.

You can list things you want to accomplish each day and try your best to meet these goals. There will be little time to beat yourself up when you can do this.

10. Keep friends close

When you are doing your best related to how to practice self love in a relationship, you should also keep your friends close. When you have a few family members or friends that you trust, talk to them regularly.

They should be able to help you quiet the negative thoughts you are thinking about yourself and help you remember how special you are. Essentially, they can allow you to kick-start your self-love when it is hard to do so.

Related Reading: How to Be Best Friends for Life: A Guide for Couples

Watch this video to learn how friendship affects your brain:

Some commonly asked questions

Self-love is extremely important as it affects your confidence and belief in yourself. Here are some answers to important questions about loving yourself that can help you out:

• Is loving yourself important in a relationship?

Loving yourself in a relationship may be one of the most important aspects of a relationship. When you take the time to love yourself, this can allow you to accept love from others.

In turn, this could mean that you can strengthen your relationship and understand that you are worthy of love and deserve happiness. If you let self-doubt in or tell yourself that you are a bad person, you may not be able to accept any type of love from another person.  

• Can I love someone if I don’t love myself?

When it comes to self love and relationships, it can be possible to love someone even if you don’t love yourself. However, this is something that may be rare. When you do love yourself, it may be easier for you to understand why someone else loves you.

In other words, if you don’t think highly of yourself and someone else does, you may constantly question what they see in you. This can lead to arguments or a lack of trust in your relationship. Do your best to learn to love yourself first before you consider a serious relationship.

If you are already in a serious relationship, you can still learn to love yourself, so you can also accept love from others. Try the methods above for more help so you don’t have to keep wondering how to love yourself in a relationship. There are many ways to do so.  

Final takeaway

Once you know how to love yourself in a relationship, you can utilize the information in this article. Stay close to people you trust and work with a therapist if necessary.

Dionne Eleanor Reid concludes with the following:

True self-love shines brightest when shared with the people who uplift and encourage you.

These things can go a long way toward improving your self-love, whether you are dating someone or not.