21 Things to Try Before Giving up on Relationships

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Love can be challenging. It needs a lot of work to keep a relationship going. These are well-established facts of life. Every relationship is unique because every individual in the world is special in their own way.

However, there is a common occurrence in romantic relationships. Romantic relationships do reach a point when one or both partners may wonder if it’s worth it to stay in that romantic relationship.

If you’re at that stage in your relationship, take a step back and reflect before giving up on a relationship. The decision to end a relationship is tough. It’s best not to take such an important decision hastily.

Read this article to learn when giving up on relationships is understandable. You may be in a tough and confusing place now, but implementing the points listed in this article will help you understand when to fight for a relationship and when to let go. 

What does it mean to give up on a relationship?

Giving up on a relationship means that one or both partners have decided that they no longer want to continue the relationship. 

It can be due to various reasons such as lack of communication, complacency, or abuse. However, giving up on a relationship prematurely can deter your chances of finding long-lasting love. 

Couples can address these issues by making an effort to rectify the errors together and reignite the love between two people.

What to do if you feel like giving up on a relationship?

When you feel like giving up on your relationship, you have to calmly assess the situation and try to understand the reason behind your feelings.

Once you know the reason for your negativity towards your relationship, you can try to find ways to improve the situation by directly addressing the problem. Direct efforts can make a massive difference to the prospects of a relationship.

However, when to fight for a relationship and give up also depends on whether your feelings for your partner are strong. The intensity of your feelings can determine the amount of effort you are willing to put into the relationship.

If your feelings for your spouse aren’t strong enough or your efforts to improve things fail, you can strongly consider ending the relationship at that stage.

21 worthy things to try before giving up on a relationship

It can be so difficult to be in this painful and confusing place in your intimate relationship where everything seems ambiguous. You may be feeling confused and unsure about the future with your girlfriend, boyfriend, or partner.

Before giving up on a relationship, try to remind yourself that you have the choice to exhaust other options before making a final choice. Breathe. You can get through this. Believe in yourself.

Certified coach Silvana Mici says,

It is important to make efforts to understand and meet each other’s emotional needs. Building a strong emotional bond is crucial for the longevity and resilience of a relationship.

Consider implementing these tips before you decide whether you want to leave or stay in your relationship:

1. Healthy conflict resolution strategies

When relationships change for the worse, it’s often because of poor conflict resolution strategies. The way to handle problems in a relationship is a significant indicator of whether it is a healthy relationship.

Resolving issues in a way that is free of contempt is important to prevent you from giving up on a relationship.

2. Walk down memory lane

Improving the situation may require both you and your partner to walk down memory lane. To truly fight for what you love, try to think about how and what made you fall for your partner in the first place and vice-versa. 

It can make you realize why you can’t give up relationships just like that.

Was it a magical moment or a series of events, or was it something your girlfriend said to you? Go back to that cause. Instead of giving up on a relationship, see if the only thing that has dimmed down is the spark that was there at the beginning.

3. Brutal honesty is necessary

When you’re at such a difficult crossroads in your romantic relationship, being brutally honest is necessary to decide whether giving up on a relationship is the right decision.

You and your partner can try to resist falling back on those false narratives such as “she never” and “he always.” Jumping to conclusions, putting your boyfriend or girlfriend in a box, or drawing assumptions isn’t going to help.

Brutal honesty is the way to clarity.

4. Imagine your future

A fool-proof exercise in understanding whether giving up on love is the way to go is to visualize your future. Envision how your life will be if you decide to be with your partner. Compare this vision with how your life will be without your partner.

When you visualize your future life without your partner, you may initially experience sadness, fear, regret, longing, disappointment, anger, etc. Keeping these painful feelings aside, focus on the rest. 

5. Determine your level of commitment

While envisioning your future without your girlfriend, did you feel that resistance? That resistance about how it didn’t feel right to be alone? Then it may mean that you’re willing to work on the connection.

In this situation, the next step to take instead of giving up on a relationship is to gauge how much work you can put into this. Both partners need to be willing to do what it takes to build a long-lasting relationship.

It’s best to reflect on what you can do as a partner instead of focusing on what your partner can do.

Coach Mici further says,

In relationships, we are not just managing our own needs; we are managing the impact of our needs on the other person. Individual growth contributes to the growth of the relationship.

6. Get to the root cause

A lot of the time, the battle is won when you identify what caused it. What is being referred to here is not about one partner winning and the other losing.

It’s about your relationship winning the battle against a breakup. You can sit down with your boyfriend or girlfriend and discuss or retrace your steps back to what event led to the present conflicts in the relationship.

7. Identify intimacy issues

How to give up on someone you love, and should you even give up on that person? A sense of loneliness and distance may often stem from a lack of intimacy. It’s not just sexual intimacy.

Intimacy refers to emotional closeness and physical intimacy between you and your partner. It may be time to address what aspects of intimacy scare you and your partner.

The substance is essential in a lasting relationship.

8. Unilaterally disarm

Relationships may often reach a breaking point due to pent-up resentment. Do you feel like you can write down a long list of problems you have with your partner?

When you know a relationship is over or feel like it is over, think about your role in it. Is it because you have a long list of complaints against your partner or vice-versa?

If so, it may be time to prioritize being close to your partner rather than proving them wrong. Instead of giving up on a relationship, you may consider being compassionate and patient to feel close to your partner rather than pointing out their mistakes.

9. Work on your communication skills

Communication is one of the things that takes the strongest blow when a relationship has moved past the initial stages of love and infatuation. Try to schedule a time when you sit and talk to your partner and listen to each other.

It may sound so simple, but you both need to truly listen to each other and speak to each other about anything you wish to talk about. Maybe this exercise can help you reignite your love for one another.

Watch Former Lawyer Amy Scott as she tries to explain how to build relationships by communicating the right way:

10. Follow your gut feelings

Being in tune with your thoughts and feelings is one of the best ways to make difficult decisions in your life.

Therefore, listening to your gut feelings can help you align yourself with what your mind and body want. Deep down, you know whether giving up on a relationship is the way to go or working on it is what you want to do.

11. Consult a therapist

A licensed professional can help you understand the underlying problem in your relationship and things that can help you improve the health of your relationship. 

After talking to you and your partner, a therapist can also help you understand when do you give up on a relationship. They can train you to distinguish between temporary negative feelings regarding the relationship and lasting ones.

It can also make it easier for you to know when is it time to give up on a relationship.

12. Let some time pass

And you shall know the answer to “Should I give up on my relationship?”

To avoid the guilt and remorse of possibly misunderstanding the situation, give yourself and your partner some time to assess whether the negativity you are feeling is temporary or permanent. 

Time can heal certain things while you feel giving up on relationships is the only option. While your discontent might be due to a particular phase in your relationship or other aspects of your life, giving time can help. 

13. Change the environment

Giving up on someone you love is a difficult decision to make. So, try to see whether a change in the environment can help you heal your relationship.

Taking a vacation together or learning a new skill like pottery can help you reconnect with your partner without the pressures of daily life.

14. Try a different routine

Before deciding when giving up on relationships is the right thing to do, try to play around with your routine a bit.

A set routine can create structure but it can also lead to boredom. It can take the excitement and spontaneity out of the picture. 

Try to spontaneously plan things with your partner to create excitement and reconnect.

15. Introspect on your past

Past actions and experiences shape our understanding and responses in the present. 

Try to take a moment and assess whether your past is acting as a hindrance to your experiencing relationship satisfaction. 

When do you give up on a relationship depends on whether there is a real problem in the relationship. If your past is the thing that is getting in the way of your happiness, you need to address it first.

16. Accept change

Change is the undeniable constant that will keep impacting your life. It may change the dynamic between you and your partner.

At what point you finally decide to give up on relationships would depend upon whether you have been able to accept that you, your partner, and your relationship with them will not remain the same.

17. Avoid comparisons

Women and men giving up on relationships can be expected when they feel dissatisfied with the state of their relationship. Often this feeling is aggravated by making constant comparisons to someone else’s life and relationship.

Your perception of someone else’s relationship can make you obsessively focus on all the problems in your relationship. If you continue the comparisons, you will end up overlooking all the positive aspects of the relationship.

18. Patience is key

When you feel like ‘’I want to give up on my relationship’’, just take a moment.

A sense of dissatisfaction in the relationship that makes you think about giving up on relationships cannot be addressed instantly. These things require time and patience.

The question, “Should I end my relationship,” should not be asked until you give yourself and your partner ample time to make changes that can improve things.

19. Go technology-free

Your phone and social media can contribute to the problems in your relationship. 

Your partner may feel ignored if you are constantly on your phone. Or it could lead you not to identify problems that exist between you and your partner. 

Try to put your devices aside and spend some quality time with your partner that is not interrupted by notifications.

20. Focus on the positives

Having a positive approach to things can significantly improve your understanding of your relationship before you consider giving up on relationships.

Changing the outlook can significantly alter your relationship so try to focus on all the things that made you fall in love with your partner and the things they do that give you joy.

21. Help and support your partner

There is nothing else that can replace your unconditional support for your partner in every situation.

Be their biggest cheerleader and offer help even when you don’t ask for it. There may be times when you don’t agree with your partner but there’s always a way of making them realize that. 

How long does it take to heal and move on after giving up on a relationship?

There is no definitive answer to how long it takes to move on after giving up on a relationship. It depends on how long you were involved, how strongly you felt, how invested you were, and how important it was. 

According to a 2007 study published in The Journal of Positive Psychology, most people can get over heartbreak in about three months.

Some more questions

Here are some more questions to address the matter of not giving up on a relationship without trying our best to save it.

• Is it normal to give up on relationships?

How to know when to give up on a relationship? Once you have exhausted all your options.

Giving up on relationships is not only normal, it may be essential in certain situations. 

Relationships cannot be successful all the time as it is difficult at times for two people to adjust to each other’s personalities and choices. They might get into fights or fall out of love with each other. 

Even after you feel that you have no future together, continuing a relationship can be frustrating and suffocating. However, it is usually wise to completely mend the relationship before giving up on it.

• Are there alternatives to giving up on a relationship?

Yes, there are alternatives to giving up on a relationship. It is important to consider the pros and cons, have clear communication with your partner, ask tough questions, and make sure you are sacrificing for the right reasons. 

Reflecting on what drew you together and trying new things together can also help.

Give your best shot before calling it quits 

Giving up on a relationship requires some thought as a hasty breakup can lead to regrets and remorse later. By trying out different methods to heal the relationship, you can be sure that you are making the right decision.

Coach Mici adds,

I always advise my clients to be sure and have tried ways to make their relationship work. Sometimes, you need to give yourself and your partner another chance to change before giving up.

Before giving up on a relationship, keep in mind that it’s essential to explore various avenues for improvement and growth. Professional guidance, emotional connection, and personal development can be powerful tools in transforming and revitalizing a struggling relationship.

Remind yourself of the effort it takes to love someone truly and deeply to spend your entire life with that individual. It’s okay to feel confused at times. Remember these pointers before taking any important decision!