Why Are the First Two Years of Marriage so Crucial?

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The first two years of marriage hold immense significance, serving as a crucial foundation for a lifelong partnership. 

This period sets the tone for communication, understanding, and shared growth between spouses. It is a time of adjustment, where couples navigate the intricacies of merging lives, expectations, and aspirations. 

Exploring why these initial years matter greatly, this article delves into common obstacles newly-married couples face in their matrimony and offers valuable insights for building a strong and fulfilling journey ahead.

What do the first two years of marriage mean for a couple?

The first two years of marriage mark a transformative period for couples, where they embark on a journey of exploration and deepening connection. It is a time of discovery, as partners navigate the intricacies of merging their lives, dreams, and aspirations. 

During this crucial phase, couples lay the foundation for communication, trust, and mutual understanding, shaping the dynamics of their relationship for years to come. It is an opportunity to build a strong and resilient bond, fostering love, growth, and shared goals.

Why are the first two years of marriage so important in a couple’s life?

Marriage experiences vary for each individual, and despite the anticipation of pure happiness, the initial two years often encompass both joys and challenges. This period serves as a valuable learning curve, allowing couples to navigate their new life and roles. 

Through managing finances, dividing chores, embracing differences, resolving conflicts, setting boundaries, and managing expectations, spouses gain profound insights about themselves and each other. The first two years become a significant opportunity for growth and understanding within the marital journey.

10 common problems married couples face at the beginning of their marriage

As much as no one likes to admit it, disappointments always surface in marriages especially in the early phase when you get to discover things about your partner you didn’t know beforehand. What matters isn’t the problems but how you react. 

Most common of these problems include

1. Money

This is a common problem couples face. Money issues can range from who makes more income, how the incomes are spent, what to buy, when and where, loose spending, and thrifty spending. 

All these appear minimal but when both parties have very differing opinions about money issues, it could be a cause for worry.

2. Sex

This is marriage, not some high school play. You might have had some wild sexual adventures with your partner or others before getting married. This is not likely to be the same after marriage.

The pressure of work and life itself might not leave a chance for such sexual adventures.

It might as well be that the partner is not as good in bed as the other expects. This poses a major problem in a marriage.

3. Family planning

This is common with both women and men. It’s probably best if you plan your family before kick-starting the marriage. If this is not well planned, it might become an issue if there’s a baby too soon or no baby at all after certain years of marriage.

It becomes a serious problem if one partner is ready and the other isn’t.

4. Resolving disputes

This is a very important part of any marriage, especially a new one. How you resolve your disputes in the early days/years of your marriage goes a long way in determining how long the marriage will last. 

If having a conflict results in physical or emotional abuse, that’s a red flag in any relationship.

The first two years of a marriage are usually the formative years. You can decide how you choose to end your disputes.

They’ll come intermittently but you must be able to sit down and talk things out afterward. Your ability to handle disputes amicably as a couple is a sign of a long-lasting marriage.

5. Adjusting to new roles

Each partner brings their own expectations and assumptions about marital roles. Adjusting to shared responsibilities and finding a balance can be overwhelming.

6. Intimacy challenges

The initial phase of marriage may bring changes in intimacy levels. Adjusting to physical and emotional intimacy can require open communication, patience, and understanding.

7. Family interference

Interactions with in-laws and extended family members can create stress and strain on the relationship. Boundaries need to be established and maintained to avoid conflicts.

Expectations with the in-laws can go completely opposite if their interference starts creating a rift in your marriage

8. Balancing personal space and togetherness

Adjusting to a shared living space while maintaining individuality and personal space can be challenging. Finding a healthy balance is crucial for a harmonious relationship.

Here’s why giving your partner space is important for a relationship:

9. Differences in expectations

Unrealistic expectations about marriage and each other can lead to disappointment and frustration. Openly discussing and aligning expectations is vital for a fulfilling partnership.

10. Dealing with stress

The pressures of daily life, work, and external stressors can take a toll on a marriage. Learning to cope with stress together and supporting each other is essential for maintaining a strong bond.

Stress is already hard to deal with and when you have additional sources adding to it, it can be a lot to manage

How to keep the marriage going

We have discussed how to survive the first two years of marriage but what about years after that? Things can still be a lot difficult after two years of marriage. 

It’s not an easy thing to keep the love for one person over a long time. You can get bored as soon as you get used to the person. It becomes very pertinent to take deliberate actions to keep the love. 

Take each other out on a date, you can go to the movies, just try something outside the normal daily routine.

Make sure you create time when you can be together alone. Wake up to each other’s kisses. Bring each other breakfast on the bed. This works more when the man does it. A break from the normal daily routine helps to keep the fire burning.

Common questions

Still curious about the common challenges faced in the first two years of marriage? This section addresses some frequently asked questions surrounding the hurdles couples encounter during this transformative phase.

• Are the first two years of marriage the hardest?

There’s no data to prove that the first two years of marriage are the hardest by rule.

However, the first two years of marriage can be challenging, as couples navigate the adjustments and complexities of merging lives. However, every marriage is unique, and difficulties can vary in intensity and duration.

Seeking guidance from relationship experts or marriage counseling can provide valuable support and guidance during this transformative period.

• How many marriages fail in the first two years?

While it is difficult to provide an exact figure, research suggests that the divorce rate during the first two years of marriage is relatively higher compared to later years, although specific data may vary across different studies and regions.

Building the base of a strong marriage

The bedrock of any long-lasting relationship is love, trust, and commitment. One isn’t enough, these three factors work together for the best of any relationship. 

No feeling is as sweet as having a good and trusting relationship with your spouse. Therefore, you should start nurturing your marriage right from the early years.