10 Effective Communication Skills in Relationships

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Communication is the basis for a healthy marriage. It’s how you and your spouse connect, share your thoughts and views, and settle disputes. Relationship communication skills take work for everyone. 

Some couples will have to work on their communication skills in relationships for years. But over time, they will be able to speak openly and honestly with one another.

No matter how connected you and your spouse are, there is always room to strengthen and grow your relationship.

How to communicate clearly in a relationship

Effective communication in relationships requires the intention to convey your feelings, desires, and disappointments honestly and openly. This can facilitate better understanding between partners and resolve conflicts healthily. 

Healthy communication in a relationship depends on both partners taking steps to build a stronger bond based on mutual trust, understanding and desire to stay connected with each other. 

How do you improve communication skills in a relationship?

If you are trying to learn how to communicate in a relationship healthily and honestly, you must lower your defenses and consistently try to express how you feel. 

Healthy communication skills are incomplete without carefully listening to your partner’s words. This will help you understand what they need and how they feel. 

If you want more ways to learn how to effectively communicate in a relationship, click here. 

10 important communication skills in a relationship

Once you have taken the time to understand why is communication important in relationships, the next step is to do things that promote communication between you and your partner. 

Here are some relationship communications skills that will save your marriage:

1. Give your partner your full attention

Don’t text and talk. Whether your spouse tells you a joke or reveals a deep family secret, you should give them your undivided attention.

Put away distracting technology, mute or turn off the television, and lean in towards your partner. This will show them you care about their information. Nodding and maintaining eye contact are excellent ways to show your partner you are listening.

You can create a spot in your home where the electronics can be placed to limit technological distractions.

Related Reading: 10 Ways to Make Your Partner Feel Secure in a Relationship

2. Don’t interrupt your partner

Being interrupted is the quickest way to escalate an argument. When communicating with your partner, it’s important that both parties feel they have a chance to speak and to be heard.

It may feel tempting to squeeze in your opinion while your partner is still talking, especially if you feel they have a fact wrong, but it is important to wait. 

Giving your partner your attention while staying focused and connected shows your partner respect. This is an important aspect of maintaining communication skills in relationships. 

3. Create a neutral space

Developing communication skills in relationships can be challenging. Many couples find it beneficial to tackle “tough” martial topics in a neutral space, such as the kitchen table. 

Discussing your partner’s lack of sexual prowess while in bed can make them feel attacked and cause them to view the bedroom negatively in the future.

Arguing at a relative’s house is another example of one partner feeling like they have the proverbial “high ground” in the argument.

4. Speak face to face

One of the best communication skills in relationships you can use is always speaking about important topics face-to-face. Texting is certainly not the avenue for serious relationship conversations or making big decisions since the tone of voice cannot be determined through text messages.

Instead, choose a time when you can be face-to-face with your partner. This way you can both give one another your full attention and read one another’s non-verbal cues. When things are said in person, there is little room for things getting “lost in translation” through tech.

5. Use “I” statements when problems arise

One problem couples run into when they are arguing is attacking each other. 

By using “I” statements, you take the pressure off your partner. 

Instead of saying, “You did this and it made me angry,” try communicating, “I feel that when this occurred, and my feelings were hurt.” 

See the difference? You made the problem your own instead of attacking your partner.

This simple yet effective technique prevents either of you from going into attack mode or becoming needlessly defensive with one another.

6. Be honest with your spouse

Being honest isn’t always easy, but it is the key to a healthy relationship.

One study about “12 Healthy Dating Relationship Qualities” found that good communication, honesty, and trust were among the highest qualities.

Being honest means telling your partner when you feel issues need to be discussed. It also means admitting when you were wrong and apologizing instead of making excuses. 

Not only does honesty help foster genuine open communication between you and your spouse, but it also helps build trust. This is one of the most important communication strategies in relationships. 

Related Reading: How to Be Honest in a Relationship: 10 Practical Ways

7. Talk about the little things

One of the great communication skills in relationships is when you and your partner can talk about the little and the big things. You can strengthen your marriage by discussing your day and thoughts or sharing funny stories from your week.

When you are married, every topic should be open for discussion. There should be nothing too awkward or uncomfortable to share. Talking about the little things will make it easier to talk about more important topics in the future.

8. Use the 24-hour-rule

When two people are married and living together, there are bound to be bumps in the road.

Some days you will feel like rainbows and butterflies float through your home when your partner is near. Other times, you’ll feel a headache coming on when your spouse is near.

If you are frustrated with your partner and are about to voice your complaint, pause for a moment. Practice the 24-hour rule.

So she didn’t empty the dishwasher or he didn’t pick up his socks. Is it the end of the world? Will it matter to you in 24 hours? If not, consider letting it go.

9. Make physical contact

No matter what tone your conversation is taking, physical contact is important. Low-intensity stimulation of the skin, such as touching a partner or stroking their arm, promotes the release of oxytocin. 

The love hormone promotes bonding and empathy in romantic partners, and it can also act as an anti-stress agent and promotes cooperative behavior.

10. Make communication fun

Communicating is how you talk about family and financial matters, problems and their solutions, and how you and your spouse make decisions. But remember that communicating should be fun, too.

Talking with your partner means sharing funny stories, dreams for the future, and sharing in deep conversation. These moments create a deeper emotional connection and boost oxytocin and dopamine. 

Always make time to check in with your spouse verbally, whether the conversation that follows is serious or silly.

Related Reading: 6 Steps to Effective Communication in Relationships

Watch this video to learn how to join the dots to promote better communication:

Some commonly asked question

The importance of communication in relationships cannot be overstated, as it allows two people to stay connected. Here are some answers to certain questions that will help you better understand the link between relationships and communication. 

• Why do I struggle to communicate with my partner?

Several reasons might be behind why you find it difficult to communicate with your partner. Lack of trust, painful past experiences and complacency are just some of the reasons that can explain why this happens. 

You can go for relationship counseling to help you understand these reasons better and find better solutions for them. 

• Why does my partner avoid difficult conversations?

Your partner might avoid difficult conversations because they may not be comfortable with you at this point, they’ve had a painful past, prefer avoiding problems, or are scared of consequences. You can consult an expert to help you figure this out if needed.

Final takeaway

Communication is the key to a happy, healthy relationship. You can improve your communication in marriage by being open and honest about your physical and emotional needs, remaining open about money matters, and giving your partner your full attention.

Try these effective communication skills in relationships and experience the difference in your marriage soon.