Do Opposites Attract in Relationships? Everything You Should Know

Like attracts like, right? So people with commonalities, such as basic views on life, goals for career, background, and maybe even general interests, make entering into a relationship much more effortless.

How could anyone not stick with someone resembling themselves? But, perhaps, it’s a tad boring, not a challenge, leaving you with little to explore together. 

So, do opposites attract? Most people find they have an innate curiosity when meeting someone who demonstrates unique qualities from their own. It’s intriguing.

Maybe specific weaknesses for one person might be a strength in the potential partner. Their differences ultimately complement each other. Always choosing mates like ourselves is a great disservice to us.

It prevents the ability to face unique challenges, leave our comfort zone, and above all else, present other elements of our personality. Without the benefit of someone pulling out these traits, we might not consider doing so. 

Sex therapist Danica Mitchell mentions,

It’s actually very common to see the introvert with the extrovert, the happy-go-lucky person with the grumpy, aloof person; in fact, many romantic tropes are written around them.

5 reasons opposites may attract each other

Some people wonder, do opposites attract, while others fully believe that opposites attract. You’ll run into many sorts of people, some of whom you’ll have similar likes and dislikes, and others you’ll be opposites. 

In many cases, people with opposite personality traits become closer sooner and are ultimately happier in their relationship than those with commonalities. 

Many reasons exist for why opposites attract when sharing a partnership, one of which is the excitement of exploring the unknown. But when you have too many similarities, what is there to learn? 

There’s little adventure or challenge, leaving little room for fun. Some of the reasons you’ll find the opposites attract theory relevant include: 

1. Unique characteristics

Each person has individual traits making their personality unique; their outlook is their own, with backgrounds new and ready to share. The differences are what make that first conversation on the phone last for hours. 

It’s exhilarating to find out why someone chooses a particular way of life so dissimilar from your own. Some factors you might have considered at one point or another but never pursued; other things could prove intimidating or a weakness that you’re attempting to improve. 

In either situation, opposites that go together tend to complement each other.

Where one is strong, the other is not so much, and vice versa. Generally, in these relationships, a friendship develops first, mutual respect, and then a relationship. 

2. Individualism

Personalities should vary in relationships. If you have unique interests, it adds a layer of excitement. You can introduce each other to different activities you otherwise might not have tried. 

For instance, you like seeing the ballet or going to shows, but your new partner hasn’t experienced this. On the other hand, your new mate loves sailing or other water activities, while you’ve never tried these before.

There are things neither of you even contemplated previously but now can’t imagine life without. 

3. Complementary

Each person will complement the other in an opposite attraction relationship. For example, one of you might be high-level energy, while the other is much more subdued.

There might be a more pleasant, talkative personality with someone else who chooses to stay on the sidelines with the house cat. What one person might lack, the other provides.  

No one wonders do opposites attract; instead, they see how each fills in the other’s “gaps,” working cohesively together to enhance attributes and negate any potential flaws.

4. Habits

When seeing someone with profound commonalities, shared habits can tend to become unnerving over time. It’s almost like watching yourself act out same-old ritualistic day-to-day routines. 

As far as opposites repel with their unusual habits, it’s less frustrating to see someone functioning in their daily activities as a separate individual. It creates an attraction due to the little nuances adding to that person’s charm, ultimately helping you develop a sense of love for that person.

Related Reading:- 11 Uncommon Habits that can Lead to a Healthy Marriage Life

5. Physical attraction

Often you’ll hear that partners are more attracted to someone opposite to themselves, relating to chemistry and physical attraction. A rebel and a gentle soul are positive examples of the question, “Do opposites attract in relationships?”

A passion may develop as respect grows over things of which you might wish you were capable. 

Friendship might change into sparks based on the person’s charming individualism. Love could grow as you’re introduced to a world you might otherwise have avoided had you not met someone interested in showing it to you. 

5 pros when dating someone who’s your opposite 

For someone who wants to understand how opposites attract each other, it’s best to learn the pros and cons. 

It helps you understand how opposites attract and helps you weigh the positive and the not-so-good realities of dating someone who’s your opposite.

1. You complement each other

One of the best things about learning why opposites attract is that you learn how great it is to complement each other. 

Maybe you’ve heard about someone being the yin to someone’s yang, which makes perfect sense. 

What we love about opposite people falling in love is that they learn to complement each other. One might be shy and the other outgoing, allowing them to help each other.

When one supports the other, and vice versa, it forms a balance that we all need in a relationship. 

Believe it or not, complete opposite couples can work well when they can use their differences as their strengths. 

2. You’ll learn new things from each other 

Do opposites really attract? The answer will depend on the people involved. It’s not impossible to fall for someone who is your opposite, especially when you have so much to learn from each other. 

Danica adds,

Dating someone dissimilar to you challenges you to learn through their perspective and broaden your horizons.

If you are similar in almost everything, the room for exploring, learning, and teaching is minimal. 

But with opposite couples, this opportunity seems endless.

Your conversation could go on for hours, and you can’t stop listening. What’s best is that this goes both ways. 

You learn, and you teach each other lessons about dealing with people, how to handle stress, and even hobbies to enjoy. 

Stress relief tips in four easy steps? Check out this video to better understand why these tips can help us deal with stress.

Related Reading:- 18 Relationship Lessons From Happy and Loving Couples

3. You learn to have more empathy

It could be wonderful if you get into a relationship with opposite personality traits. This could teach you how to show more empathy with each other.

You know you and your partner are different, so you want to be more understanding towards your partner. 

You know how it feels when you’re dealing with something new. Thus, you begin to show more understanding to your partner. 

In this sense, the stronger your feelings of compassion towards your partner, the greater motivation you have to reduce their distress. 

4. You can easily keep the passion alive

Do opposites attract in relationships even after the honeymoon phase is over? 

That’s one good thing when you are opposites, and you can easily make a way to bring the passion back. 

If you are similar, you will tire of doing the same things that you like and want to try other things too. 

Now, since you are opposites, you can effectively introduce exciting ways to stay intimate, and we’re not just talking about sex here. 

You can venture into new hobbies, start learning new things that your partner loves and share the moment. 

Related Reading:- 5 Ways to build passion in a relationship

5. You learn to be more patient 

As you get to know each other, you embrace each other’s differences and appreciate them. 

The thing with being in love with a person who is your opposite is that you learn to be more patient with each other. 

When you don’t agree, you talk, make amends, or at the least, meet halfway. 

You understand that not everyone’s the same, and with this, your patience grows.

Empathy and patience will help any relationship. 

5 cons when dating someone who’s your opposite 

Like any relationship, couples who are opposites will also have their cons. Here are some cons of dating someone who is your opposite.

1. Pressure to keep up with your partner

Is it true that opposites attract even if their differences are many?

Attraction to a person who is your opposite is quite common. As you enter a relationship, you learn more about this person. It could be exciting, that’s for sure.

However, like many other couples, you face the real world once you pass the honeymoon stage. Some couples think of the differences as exciting ways to learn and explore, but for some, it causes pressure.

Over time, trying to keep up with your opposite partner can also be tiring. 

If your partner loves partying and you don’t, you might feel pressured to attend these events even if you don’t want to.

Danica suggests,

It’s important to find a balance and harmony with your differences, not try to turn your partner into you

2. Lack of interest  

Do opposites attract when you realize your partner’s likes and dislikes are the opposite of yours? 

At first, the thrill of getting to know each other might be great, but as you get to know your partner, you realize that some of this person’s likes are not just the opposite of yours but also something you dislike, then this could create disagreements.

One reason people who are opposites don’t work is the total lack of interest.

An introvert vs. extrovert, a sporty and a non-sporty person, someone who loves books, and someone who loves to hang out outside, are just some things that can make a difference in a relationship.

3. Frequent clashes because of differences 

If you think the cons of dating someone your opposite solely rely on likes and dislikes, that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Danica adds here,

While personality and superficial differences can create a spark, fundamental or value-based differences might not benefit compatibility in the long term.

There’s more to a relationship than just likes and hobbies. 

People who have different values and beliefs in life could clash. Not all couples have good communication; thus, realizing how different your views and beliefs can cause disagreements. 

How do you divide your earnings? How do you raise your kids? What are your discipline styles as parents? Do in-laws always have a say? 

These are just some issues that can cause people with different views to disagree with each other. 

Without good communication, this can be a tough part of your relationship.

4. Falling apart due to different life goals

You’re in love, but your partner doesn’t see your goals in life. 

You want to plan, save, and be cautious with your endeavors, yet your spouse or partner is someone who loves to take chances. 

Life goals are important to all of us, but can you imagine being with someone who doesn’t understand your goals or wouldn’t support you? 

How can you work this out?

Being with the total opposite will not work out if you don’t see eye to eye. This can only cause issues and misunderstandings. 

Ultimately, you’ll choose the path you want.

Related Reading:- 35 Relationship Goals for Couples & Tips to Achieve Them

5. You get tired of trying

Can opposites work in a relationship? 

It could, like all relationships, falling in love with someone is a risk, and it takes years to know someone.

Though, sometimes, you feel tired even if you try to work things out.

You feel exhausted trying to keep up with your partner. It becomes too much when the two of you are trying to see how you can work things out and how you can fix your differences. 

Sometimes, these differences can be too much. 

Even if you love each other, you get to where you feel tired and realize it won’t work.

5 ways to make a relationship with an opposite work 

A relationship is precious, whether with an opposite or someone alike. The only difference is in the dynamics shared.

These can be a bonus as long as you have open, honest transparency from the moment you meet. That can save many headaches, prevent wasted time, and stop arguments.

1. Appreciate your partner

Can opposites have a successful relationship? They can! 

Even if you are opposites, you can make it work, and it could be one beautiful love story. 

Let’s start with appreciation. 

Appreciate your partner’s effort. If you love to party and your partner doesn’t, but they still try to see how you enjoy things, be thankful for that.

The effort that your partner puts into exploring your world is difficult. Appreciation makes everything worth it. 

2. Challenge each other – in a good way

Complete opposite couples could make it work if they know how to challenge each other in a good way. 

Never challenge your partner to see who is better or right, as this will lead to a chaotic relationship. 

Instead, know the topics or issues where you have different opinions, such as politics, holidays, movies, and even how you spend your weekends. 

Then, instead of debating, why not encourage each other to come up with an alternative where the both of you can enjoy and grow?

You don’t have to agree on everything, but you can acknowledge and state your views. 

Who knows, you might both enjoy the opportunity to venture into new ideas together.

3. Set boundaries and respect them

Now, couples who are opposites should know that it’s not always trying to accept your partner’s beliefs. 

If you do that, you won’t be true to yourself.

You should still maintain your individuality while being open to others’ opinions. Both you and your partner should set boundaries and be able to respect them. 

You don’t want to feel pushed into something you don’t like, right?

In a healthy relationship, you need to give your special someone the space and right to disagree if they want to.

4. Communication is key

Since the dawn of time, people have had such challenges with communication in partnerships, and that’s not only where opposites are involved. Still, these are the ones where lack of communication is the most damaging. 

When you don’t fess up from the start on issues that could perceivably affect the other person’s life, that’s unfair. But, unfortunately, in opposite situations, you will find that a regular occurrence simply because they’re not having the discussions right off the gate.

5. Be honest

Ensure you are honest about your preferences and expectations from the beginning. These will help establish realistic expectations for both partners.  

No one wants to find out after months of dating that you prefer to have sex with many people instead of remaining faithful to an individual who firmly believes in monogamy. Or that you have no intention of holding a job. 

While life choices are a vital conversation, other things also need discussing. 

You need to give the other person the opportunity from the moment you meet to decide if the things that make you unique are something with which they want to contend, full disclosure. 

The potential mate might not enjoy that you’re a social butterfly or prefer nights out to staying home for peaceful evenings. The person might not appreciate that you’re quiet and reserved if they’re talkative and free-spirited.

Be who you are and express those qualities immediately to either be on a second date or move on to another mate. 

FAQs

Do opposites make good couples? 

We may question whether two people who are opposites can come together to form a good relationship. But this can happen.

Seeing strengths from someone you know you don’t have is attractive and could work when you become lovers. 

This way, you complement each other. 

Your differences can be used to support your partner and vice versa. This can create a good foundation for couples. If you think you have this in your relationship, that is a good start.

Like all couples, you should still work hard to ensure that those differences won’t impede your love. 

Remember, complement and not repel each other.

Do opposites ultimately repel each other?

In any relationship, whether it be those with commonalities or opposites, there can be issues. But, unfortunately, problems develop in either scenario for the same reason – lack of communication.

Whether you can communicate better in a like/like situation vs. an opposites’ relationship will depend on the individual. The important thing is that someone starts the conversation. 

Is it true that opposites attract in a relationship and that these matches will last? Of course, those are subjective questions, so it depends on who you ask and at what stage they are in the partnership.

A brand-new couple will likely have only positive replies. However, two people together for an extended period will have history and can answer more authentically. 

Of course, being different in every way might cause a few challenges. Say, perhaps one person wants children, and the other is firm against the prospect. So let’s go a few degrees less dramatic.

Maybe someone likes to travel while the other doesn’t leave their state, or one loves the nightlife while the other is a homebody. These can seem minor but, over time, may create a wedge. Start a conversation and do so early on. Otherwise, your opposing partnership might be an unsuccessful one.

In a nutshell

Do opposites attract? Yes. 

Many of us like the person most unlike ourselves. It’s exciting, enticing, and, yes, attractive. It brings out something in us that we, for some reason, keep hidden. 

We get to have new experiences we typically don’t allow ourselves, and this partnership strengthens our weaknesses or perhaps theirs.

Attraction doesn’t equate to compatibility or longevity, however. Opposite unions have and will stand the test of time, but they have also been short-lived.

It depends on your level of communication, which is crucial in this type of partnership.

If you become emotionally invested before learning more about the other person’s life values, it could prove devastating for one or both of you. 

However, significant imbalances in choices don’t mean you can’t talk through the issues.

Perhaps, go to couples counseling and attempt to work out a compromise through deep discussion. But if you reach an impasse, you can’t prolong the inevitable, especially if there’s a problem like children or marriage.

Before you even reach that point, there’s the point where you meet and have that initial discussion that typically lasts for several hours, either in a coffee

shop or on the phone. Be authentic. That conversation holds the key to whether your opposite attraction will be compatible.

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