10 Signs of a Clingy Boyfriend and How to Handle
The last thing you would expect in a relationship is the flow of negative feelings or energy in any form. No matter how careful you are, it isn’t easy to judge one’s habits and reactions during the initial few years of the relationship.
During such times, everything seems like a dream come true moment.
However, what if you discover that you’re with a clingy boyfriend?
How to deal with a clingy boyfriend?
Individualism can be one of the prominent reasons why you fall in love with someone. You adore their habits and how they stand out in the crowd. Amongst other traits, you surely can’t negotiate with dependency.
Indeed, dependency comes along in a relationship, no matter how careful you are, but no one wants to babysit someone. Let’s try to understand and see how you can identify a clingy boyfriend before getting too deep into it.
What is a clingy boyfriend?
There is a thin line between being caring and being clingy.
When you’re caring, you give them space to breathe in. You don’t push yourself on your partner and try to get their attention the worst way possible. Besides, when you’re caring, you take time from your schedule to make them feel comfortable.
Caring means giving the other person space to breathe, whereas clinginess means suffocating them by pushing them to the wall. A clingy boyfriend is also referred to as being a too needy boyfriend.
How clinginess can affect your relationship
Is clinginess creeping into your relationship?
It’s natural to crave closeness and want to feel secure, but when the need for constant connection takes over, it can feel like a heavy weight on a partnership.
If you’re wondering how being clingy affects relationships or even asking what exactly defines a clingy boyfriend?… well, it’s not as clear-cut as you might think!
Sometimes, a little space can make love even stronger. Let’s explore how too much dependence can shift the dynamics and leave both partners feeling drained or even resentful.
-
It can create emotional exhaustion
When one partner constantly seeks reassurance or time, the other can feel overwhelmed. This neediness may initially feel like love, but it quickly becomes a burden, like carrying too much weight on a hike.
It’s hard for anyone to support both their own emotional needs and another’s entirely, so one or both partners may feel tired or stressed by the relationship itself. In turn, it makes connecting positively more difficult.
-
It may stifle personal growth
Clinginess often comes from fear of losing someone, which can keep both partners from fully developing as individuals. When all attention goes toward keeping the relationship secure, the clingier partner might limit their own interests or social life.
This can lead to feelings of emptiness or dependency, which can impact their confidence and satisfaction in the long run. A healthy relationship has room for both togetherness and personal growth!
-
It can reduce relationship satisfaction
When someone feels their partner is too clingy, the joy in the relationship may begin to fade. Emotional closeness is essential, but constantly needing validation or attention may create tension instead.
The partner on the receiving end might start feeling like they’re losing their independence, and the clingy one may feel misunderstood. In the end, it can create distance instead of the closeness they hoped for, which leaves both partners feeling less fulfilled.
10 telltale signs your boyfriend is clingy
You can know how to deal with a clingy boyfriend when you know the clingy boyfriend signs.
Since you’re clear with the meaning of clingy boyfriend, let’s quickly look at how you can identify them within time and take preventive measures. If you have thought, “My boyfriend is too clingy,” you must read through these signs.
1. No breathing space
A clingy boyfriend can have many similarities to a jealous boyfriend. If your boyfriend is clingy, he is dependent on you and would not want you to walk out of the relationship at all. They want you there with them, physically, digitally, or in any other way possible.
Research highlight: Studies show young adults increasingly view dating as an independent journey rather than solely a path to marriage. This study explores dating quality across relationship duration, attachment insecurity, and four domains, revealing curvilinear trends that vary by duration, attachment, and sexual frequency.
If you’re not there physically, they will contact you through the phone. They need you. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, where you are, with whom you’re, or even if you’re having some ‘me’ time.
2. Trust issues
There will be a time when you’re preoccupied with work or personal appointments. However, your clingy boyfriend might presume that you’re losing interest in him and suddenly will act clingy.
He may try to insist on you as much as possible and interrupt your moments. He would want you to leave everything behind and be with him. It isn’t easy to deal with him in such situations.
3. Social media stalking
Wondering how to spot a clingy boyfriend?
Observe their habits.
They leave certain signs and give away hints about their behaviors. They may stalk you on social media and will start asking irrelevant questions. They will bring topics from your past and relationships you had previously. They won’t hesitate to cross the line of personal space.
A study of 37 married couples found that spouses required less personal space from each other than with others, suggesting marriage can reduce personal space needs. Conversely, non-spousal and same-gender pairs needed more space, highlighting the role of personal space in relationships.
4. Ditching their friends
Clingy boyfriend will eventually ditch their friends and close circles. They believe you’re their world and start tagging with you wherever you go. They don’t care if they’re invited or not.
All they know is that you both should be treated as one rather than two individuals. This might sound romantic, but it can actually be creepy. You haven’t signed up for a boyfriend who is too clingy.
5. No self-interest
A clingy boyfriend can not only ditch his friends but also let go of his hobbies or interests. They will start following you. They will gradually adapt to your activities and will make them their hobby.
He strongly believes that you both are one and should have similar hobbies and activities.
This doesn’t sound right, does it?
6. Wants to know your whereabouts
Just casually checking in on you in one thing but constantly wanting to know where you are or where you are going is one of the signs of a clingy person.
While this also shows possessiveness, your boyfriend may not necessarily doubt you. That is when they do not believe you when you tell them where you are or even ask for proof.
But just keep asking you about your whereabouts means your boyfriend is clingy.
7. Needs constant validation
Another sign that your boyfriend is clingy is when they need constant validation.
Do they keep asking you if they look alright?
Do they always need compliments, not just from you but also from other people?
A need for constant validation could be a sign of a clingy boyfriend.
8. He’s not a fan of you socializing in his absence
Does he feel left out or even throw a tantrum when you socialize or hang out without him?
If yes, then the chances are that you are dating a clingy boyfriend. He might call you often when you are outside, at an event, or partying with friends. Not only is this a sign of a clingy boyfriend, but it can also get annoying.
9. He is very jealous
A clingy boyfriend is also a jealous boyfriend.
He might dislike your guy friends, work colleagues, or anyone close to you. This jealousy may not be restricted to people from the gender you are attracted to.
If you spend too much time with your family or friends, he might also not like them and may feel jealous of them.
10. He does not have a life beyond you
A very vital characteristic of a clingy boyfriend is when he does not have a life beyond you. He does not socialize without you, has no hobbies, and does not care to do anything if you are not around.
A clingy boyfriend makes you his whole world in the wrong way. You might also start feeling responsible when he does so, which can be annoying and too much to deal with.
Why do people become clingy in relationships?
Ever wondered, “Why is my boyfriend so clingy?” or maybe even found yourself feeling a little too attached?
Clinginess often grows from a deep need for security and reassurance; it’s like holding on tight during a storm, hoping to find calm. Sometimes, the cause of clinginess goes back to past experiences or fears of losing someone we love.
Sometimes, it stems from low self-esteem, where someone feels they need constant closeness to feel valued. It isn’t about wanting to smother; it’s about feeling safe and connected! But a strong relationship thrives on balance—when both people feel secure even with a little space in between.
How to deal with a clingy boyfriend: 10 ways
Dealing with a clingy boyfriend can be challenging, especially when his need for closeness feels overwhelming.
Clinginess often comes from wanting reassurance, but with a bit of understanding and a few gentle strategies, you can find a balance that works for both of you.
1. Be bluntly honest
There could be various reasons for him to be clingy. There could be a possibility that he is not at all clingy, but your disinterest in him makes you feel he is one. Whatever the matter, you’ve to be bluntly honest with it.
One of the ways to deal with a clingy boyfriend is to accept that you’re not interested in him anymore. Convey the message to him. And, if you think he is, seek help and find a professional way to deal with him.
2. Teach him about ‘me’ time
How to handle a clingy boyfriend?
We know that everyone needs ‘me’ time. Maybe your clingy boyfriend needs to become more familiar with the concept or is just ignoring it.
In either case, you must introduce ‘me’ time in your relationship vocabulary and tell him when you’re enjoying a personal moment.
3. Reintroduce individualism
Your clingy boyfriend may have forgotten about individualism. It’s time you reintroduce this to him. One of the ways to deal with a clingy boyfriend is to encourage him to do what he likes and meet his friends.
Reintroduce him to his friends and family and make him understand the importance of this concept in a relationship. Take baby steps so you don’t sabotage your beautiful relationship with him.
4. Set boundaries
Having personal boundaries is a must in a relationship. If you think you’re losing personal boundaries, make him understand.
How to set boundaries with a clingy boyfriend?
Tell him why you both need to set personal boundaries and never cross them. It might take a while, but it’s for good.
5. Address his insecurities
One of the reasons for his clinginess could be his insecurities.
Have you ever given it a thought?
If he is experiencing insecurity, you must address it. So, sit with him, establish a conversation, and try to understand his insecurities. Try to address them as much as you can.
6. Establish trust
Trust is not built in a day. However, you may need to establish trust with little things over time when you have to deal with a clingy boyfriend.
You can indulge in some trust-building exercises with your boyfriend. Relationship counseling or couples therapy may also help.
7. Tell him he is loved
Just reassuring your partner once in a while is a good idea, anyway. However, when your boyfriend is clingy or sometimes acts clingy, just telling them that they are loved and cared for can do the trick.
It may help them get over the insecurities that make them act clingy in the first place.
8. Keep healthy communication
Keeping healthy communication is very important. Healthy communication not only means understanding each other and listening to them consciously, but it also means restricting communication where required.
If your boyfriend is clingy, they may want to talk to you 24×7. However, explaining to them how this is not only impossible but also very unhealthy may help.
Watch this video by Steph Anya, LMFT, to learn tips for healthy communication:
9. Encourage them to have a life
A life beyond your partner is vital for a healthy relationship. Please encourage them to have a healthy life beyond you.
Indulging in hobbies, hanging out with just their friends, or exploring life beyond you can also help them become less clingy.
10. Explain the importance of space
Sometimes, all it takes to deal with a clingy boyfriend is understanding the importance of space in a healthy relationship. Sit down with them and communicate how important space is to you and the relationship.
Tell them the pros of giving space to each other and the cons of not doing the same. This may help them understand your point of view.
The takeaway
A clingy boyfriend may not be that much trouble, but if you like personal space or need alone time to recharge, it can be difficult to deal with one.
Certain situations, such as lots of calling or wanting your attention all the time, can also get annoying. However, you must communicate clearly and tell them what bothers you.
Also, tell them the disadvantages of being clingy and how it can adversely affect the relationship.
Trusted by +5 Million People
Ask your question related to this topic & get the support you deserve from experts.
Share your valuable relationship tips with +5 million people
Share this article on
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.