How to Be Dominant in Bed: 15 Intimacy Tips for Relationships

Listen to this article

Have you ever wondered how to be dominant in bed and bring a thrilling new dynamic to your relationship? Do you feel curious about taking control and exploring your partner’s deepest desires?

With so many movies and shows highlighting the excitement of BDSM, isn’t it time to consider how this could spice up your own sex life?

What’s stopping you from turning those fantasies into reality?

If you’re ready to take the lead and create unforgettable moments, we’ve compiled some of the most exciting ways to be dominant in the bedroom.

Note: All activities mentioned in this article should be practiced with clear communication, mutual consent, and respect for boundaries. Always establish safety precautions, including safe words, to ensure a secure and enjoyable experience for both partners.

What is sexual dominance?

We have heard about how to be dominant in a relationship, but do you know how to be dominant in bed?

Dominant sex or sexual domination is all about a set of behaviors and rules that involve controlling your partner (submissive) for pleasure of both individuals.

One plays the dominant partner and the other the submissive partner. Each one has roles to play and rules to follow.

The dom-sub roles are under BDSM. The term BDSM stands for bondage, dominance/submission, sadism, and masochism.

Now, we’re focusing on how to be dominant in bed for your partner.

What are the responsibilities of a dominant in a relationship?

In a consensual and healthy dominant-submissive relationship, the dominant has a crucial role in fostering trust, safety, and mutual respect. Their responsibilities go beyond authority, focusing on nurturing the emotional and physical well-being of their partner.

Ensuring boundaries are respected, communication is open, and both partners feel valued is essential.

Here are some key responsibilities of a dominant:

• Establishing clear boundaries: Understand and respect agreed-upon limits.
• Maintaining trust and communication: Ensure ongoing, open dialogue for emotional connection.
• Prioritizing safety: Create a physically and emotionally safe environment.
• Being attuned to needs: Understand and meet the needs of the submissive while considering their comfort.
• Encouraging growth: Support the submissive in their personal and emotional development.
• Demonstrating self-control: Model emotional stability and handle authority with responsibility.
• Acknowledging mistakes: Take accountability for errors and work towards resolution.
• Promoting mutual consent: Regularly check in to ensure the dynamic remains consensual and enjoyable.

Now, do you think you’re ready to jump into the role of a sensuous, dominant woman and man?

Why might someone want to be more dominant in bed?

Well, think of it like a dance floor – sometimes you want to lead and show off your best moves! Being more dominant in bed can spice things up, boost confidence, and create an exhilarating dynamic with your partner. 

It’s like taking on a role in your favorite movie, where you get to explore desires and fantasies, adding an element of excitement and adventure to your relationship. 

Plus, it can be a fantastic way to break the routine and keep the flames of passion burning brightly in the bedroom! So, grab that imaginary top hat and let the bedroom show begin!

15 fun tips to dominate your partner in bed

Believe it or not, most people secretly fantasize about becoming the one being controlled – to be the submissive partner in a sexual play.

So, it’s time to be the dom and start practicing these domination ideas that will surely satisfy you and your partner. Here are some fun and sexy ways how to be dominant in bed.

1. Talk to your partner

Before you can dominate your boyfriend or girlfriend, you first need to talk about it, that makes sense, right? The pro tips on how to be dominant in the bedroom start with communication.

Since we’re not in a series or a movie, you can’t immediately become a BDSM-dominant woman or man. You will first need to talk about it as a couple.

This is important because you will need to know if your partner is open to this type of thing. You’re lucky if your partner agrees to try the dom and sub relationship. This is when you can come up with your terms, and you can even talk about which one you can try out first.

2. Be your partner’s boss

The first thing you have to remember if you want to know how to be dominant in bed or how to dominate your partner is to learn how to be bossy.

Being the dominant partner means you have to take control, and it will only work if you know how to be bossy. From how you act, your stand, and the tone of your voice to all your commands, you need to be convincing and firm.

Remember, dominance is about leading with confidence and care, not exerting control through force or intimidation.

3. Wear something intimidating

People who wonder how to dominate a partner in bed should pay heed to this tip. This is one of the easiest ways to be a dominant partner in bed.

Now that you’re into character, the next thing that you need to focus on is what you’ll be wearing. If you want to look like those very sexy people dominating sex play, you can dress for the role.

If you have time, get yourself some sexy costumes or those sultry latex costumes. Your partner will surely appreciate the effort, plus you’ll feel the boost of confidence when you’re wearing proper clothing.

4. Allow your partner to worship your body

Start to dominate them by giving your partner a chance to worship every inch of you. You can give your partner a massage oil or allow them to enjoy the ‘chance’ to kiss your body.

Let your partner use their hands to slowly and passionately touch your body; give them the chance to shower every part of you with sensual kisses.

5. Blindfold and tie your partner

Do you want to know one of the sexiest ways to dominate your man in bed? Invest in those sexy bed restraints and blindfolds and use them to tie your partner in bed.

By doing so, you will have full command of your partner. Stroke him, tease him, and kiss him until he can’t take it any longer. Of course, with consent, you can also grab his hair and spank him. Add naughty words, and you’ll feel that intense fire burning inside.

6. Boss your partner around

How to be dominant in sex? Bring it in your attitude.

While it’s not common to dominate a man in a relationship, you can dominate a man in bed. Boss your partner around and ask him to do things for you. After all, you are the boss, and he’s the Sub.

Take this chance to let him know who the boss is, and don’t forget to make him call you whatever you want. Of course, don’t forget to playfully punish your Sub if he becomes naughty.

Make sure your partner calls you Mistress, Queen, or Boos, your choice, your rules. 

7. Choose positions where you have control

You can also choose what sex position to try. Make sure that this position is something you can take complete control of.

Tie your partner to a chair or bed (with their consent) and start pleasuring your partner. Seeing your partner without control is such a lustful moment for the Dom, and the Sub also feels helpless and turned on by this sexual act.

These types of sexual play can intensify the orgasm that both of you will experience.

8. Talk dirty

It doesn’t matter if you do it during intercourse or foreplay – if you talk dirty, it creates this naughty but sexy atmosphere. Make it hotter by whispering it in your partner’s ears.

Tell your partner what you want and what you will do – and all those naughty words will intensify that fire you are feeling inside. When you are near the climax, you can make your dirty words louder.

Sex and Relationship Coach Caitlin V teaches how to talk dirty with your partner. Watch the video:

9. Change your attitude in bed

Dominate them by simply changing your overall attitude in bed.

We all have a naughty side, and this is the right time to unleash that sexy beast inside. Be annoyed, boss around, prioritize your pleasure, tie your partner, and be that dominant yet sexy partner.

If your partner sees how you can change from being quiet to being dominant, that’s already enough to ignite arousal.

10. Try roleplaying

Here’s another way to spice up your sexy time with dominance. Try roleplaying with your partner, and of course, choose roles that make you the boss.

You can be the disciplinarian teacher to a student, a sexy boss to your secretary, the CEO to your innocent employee, and so much more.

Don’t be afraid to invest in costumes and toys, and of course, be in character.

11. Experiment with toys

While you are shopping for restraints, why not add some sex toys to your shopping cart?

Male and female domination requires toys as well. It makes it more fun, and it’s arousing. Try blindfolds, hoods, collars, gags, and even floggers.

12. Tease your partner

Restrains will be your top favorite when you play the dom partner. You can start by teasing your partner. Slow kisses whisper dirty words, lick and touch, and control how your partner feels pleasure.

You’d feel in control as you ask your partner what they are feeling. Make them ask for more, and then you decide how you will proceed.

You can also ask your partner to have a taste of you and then stop. Tease your partner until the urge is too much.

13. Control your partner’s climax

This is where it gets naughtier. One of the best ways to learn how to be dominant in bed is to control your partner’s climax.

You can control every thrust, and when you see that your partner is already near orgasm, stop. Make sure that your partner is restrained as well. This will make your partner beg, but you won’t do it because you are the boss you are.

Watch as your partner suffers in pleasure.

14. Try consensual bondage

Now, mild or basic bondage involves restraints, but what if you want to do more? Of course, you need to talk about it first.

You can start with roleplaying with toys. You can start with floggers, gags, and even whips. You can use them as tools for playful punishment when your Sub disobeys you. Mild bondage can even heighten the sexual experience for both of you.

15. Have a safe word

Now that we are talking about bondage be sure that you don’t forget the most important thing – the safe word.

A safe word is a term that both of you have agreed upon.

If the roleplaying or spanking gets painful or if one of you is no longer enjoying it, you have to say the safe word, and everything will stop.

Commonly asked questions

Exploring dominance in the bedroom can be a thrilling and intimate adventure, but it’s essential to understand the difference between dominance and aggression. It’s about trust, consent, and respect for your partner’s boundaries. Let’s address some common questions

• What is the difference between dominance and aggression in bed?

Dominance is about taking a leading role with your partner’s enthusiastic consent. It involves trust, communication, and respect for boundaries. Aggression, on the other hand, is forceful and lacks consent, which is never acceptable in a healthy relationship.

• How can I be dominant in bed without making my partner feel uncomfortable?

Does your partner complain, “My partner is too dominant in bed?”

To be dominant without making your partner uncomfortable, communication is key. Discuss desires, boundaries, and safe words openly. Listen to your partner’s cues and always prioritize their comfort and consent. It’s a consensual journey you both embark on.

• How do I know if my partner is comfortable with me being dominant in bed?

To gauge your partner’s comfort, maintain ongoing communication. Ask questions, pay attention to their reactions, and encourage them to share their feelings and desires. Building trust is the foundation of a successful dominant-submissive dynamic.

• What if my partner is not comfortable with me being dominant in bed?

If your partner isn’t comfortable with your dominance, it’s crucial to respect their feelings. Never push boundaries or pressure them into anything. Instead, have an open conversation to understand their concerns and find a compromise that works for both.

• What are some common mistakes that people make when trying to be dominant in bed?

Common mistakes include neglecting communication, rushing into things, or failing to respect boundaries. Being overly aggressive without consent or disregarding safe words is also a significant error. To succeed, prioritize trust, consent, and constant communication.

Achieving your sexual best in relationships