How to Get Your Wife in the Mood: 20 Effective Ways

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We can find so many ways in which we can secure and strengthen our marriage through conversations and commitment but there’s one thing that we seldom see – it’s how you should focus on your sex life as a married couple.

Some people still think this isn’t as important as the other aspects, but the truth is that sexual compatibility is just as important as emotional compatibility. 

Learning how to get your wife in the mood is one of the key skills to have. Then everything else follows.

So, the questions that you should be asking yourself are how well do you know how to get your wife in the mood? How much effort do you put into ensuring you are still intimate and passionate?

Don’t worry since there are plenty of ways how you can get your wife in the mood and proceed to have a great sex life.

Why isn’t my wife turned on? 5 possible reasons

Skills in bed – Why is it important?

How good are you in bed? This question might sound bold and shocking for some, but it’s perfectly normal to ask this question to someone already married, and there’s nothing wrong with checking how good your skills in bed are. 

It’s only right that you know how to get your wife in the mood without knowing it and it’s best if you can try other skills in bed too.

Why do you think knowing how to get your wife in the mood is important? 

Let’s face it, marriage over time can dull your passion and sex life. Sadly, this is one reason why some indulge in extramarital affairs and no one wants to be a victim of infidelity. 

So how can we prevent this? How can we be sure that we keep that fire of passion and intimacy burning?

Here are some possible reasons why your wife isn’t getting turned on.

1. There’s no connection

The connection between couples is important. It’s one of the things that will turn a woman on when you’re getting intimate with each other.

Without this connection, it will be hard to get turned on. It’s like you’re doing it with someone that is far from you.

The connection we are talking about is achieved through the different types of intimacy. It’s not just about talking and doing things together. Building a strong connection is what it is all about.

2. She doesn’t feel beautiful or sexy

Learning how to get your wife in the mood will be challenging if she doesn’t feel beautiful or sexy. It’s one of the most common reasons sexual intimacy is harder to achieve.

Since having children, her body has transformed. Often, she may look in the mirror and see those changes. She’s aware of this and may continually compare herself with other women.

This causes her to lose her self-confidence and, thus, will be harder for her to appreciate sex.

3. She doesn’t get turned on

Do you know how to please your wife? There may be instances where one would jump into action without considering the needs of their spouse.

Some women need more time to get turned on than others, and if their desires aren’t met, then don’t expect them to get turned on. Remember, getting her turned on is also hard work.

4. She’s tired or depressed

Are you having challenges in your married life? Do you already have kids? Being a mother is emotionally taxing, tiring, and stressful.

Your wife might be under a lot of stress, may experience depression, or is just exhausted. In cases like this, you might consider marital therapy to address these issues.

You’ll also benefit from therapy or counseling on how you can help your spouse battle their stress or depression.

5. She’s more focused on her duties

To learn how to get your wife in the mood, you first need to understand where she is coming from. Women place a lot of pressure on themselves when they become mothers.

Their priorities change and they try to be the best mother they can be. Unfortunately, they might occasionally lose sight of their husband-and-wife connection in this process.

That is not ideal and is also one of the most common causes why they don’t get turned on easily.

20 best ways to get your wife in the mood 

With a sexual relationship with your spouse, you tend to build a stronger bond and it also keeps both of you physically attracted to each other. You have lots of time on your hands to explore different ways how to satisfy each other.

How to get your wife in the mood to make love isn’t just a way to make her feel loved but rather a way how you can strengthen your relationship with each other and let’s face it, it’s always fun to know that you are great in bed!

Tips on how to turn her on

If you’re feeling excited to learn tips on how to get your wife in the mood quickly and easily, then you’re in the right place.

1. Be a flirt

She’s your wife and it’s okay to flirt with her even in public! It’s fun and you have to give it a try. What we mean here is that subtle flirting, like making sexy eye contact, touching her hand, or even whispering sexy words to her in the elevator. Surprise her with your actions.

Related Reading: Flirting for Fun vs Flirting with Intent

2. Give her a surprise treat

Dedicate one day to your wife. Prepare the best atmosphere on how to get your wife in the mood for sex but before that treat her with a little surprise. 

Switch your room from boring to daring by putting on scented candles, sultry music, and dim lights. Make her dinner, drink wine, and ask her to go to you in the room and massage her oh so slowly. 

Ignite her senses with the sensuality of touch until she feels the heat of the moment.

3. Sweet messages

You might think that sending her text messages is old-fashioned but it works wonders. Surprise her and send her sweet messages, entice her, and in no time, you might find yourself teasing each other and you can’t wait to see each other at home to have a sexy time.

4. Go on a date

Being married and seeing each other every day may seem quite boring right? Go on a date, and have someone take care of the kids for a few hours. 

Go to a movie and check into a hotel. Spend quality time together and in no time, you might find yourself drawn to her arms and you know what’s next.

Related Reading: How to Date Someone: 15 Best Dating Rules & Tips

5. Kiss her

Women love passionate kisses and foreplay too! Take time and get to know her body. Please familiarize yourself with her erogenous spots by flirting and touching her. In no time, you’ll see how she wants to beg for more.

Related Reading: How to Kiss Better – 25 Most Effective Tips to Try Out

6. Tease her

If you want to know how to get your wife in the mood, tease her. It’s one of the most effective ways to seduce your spouse. Nothing can be more effective than teasing her, slowly touching her, kissing her well, and then stopping.

Look into her eyes while you’re undoing her brassiere; keep it so slow that her urge becomes so unbearable that she’d want to jump you and do it!

7. Open up

Getting your wife in the mood also requires communication. This is where you open up and feel at ease talking to your spouse about what you want, what you crave, and what turns you on.

If something hinders your sexual appetite, you can open it up with your partner. This way, you can work on the issues and feel comfortable talking about what can make you happy.

Related Reading: Open Communication In a Relationship: How to Make it Work

8. Focus on foreplay

We can’t stress enough how important foreplay is. Foreplay is one of the essences of increased libido and sexual appetite. Don’t skip foreplay, and instead, be better at it.

There can be so many tricks that can turn on a woman, and most of them start with foreplay. Touch her in the right places and kiss her neck, back, and legs.

Know her weak points, know the techniques, and the key here is to enjoy foreplay while you’re doing it.

9. Be partners

Do you want to know a secret to learn how to get a wife in the mood? Be her partner in your marriage.

We’ve talked about how a woman sometimes gets too tired to get excited about sex. So, the best way to turn her on is by helping her.

Help her with the kids; aid her in completing household chores. This way, she’ll have time for herself and she could take long baths, relax, and have time to get in the mood with you.

10. Talk about your fantasies

Fantasies are normal. We all have them. Since you’ve started talking and opening up, find the right time to discuss your fantasies.

This will ignite your carnal desires and spark some naughty ideas that you can share. Wake up the naughty side of your wife and see how she gets turned on when you’re talking about your secret sexual fantasies.

11. Introduce sex toys

Remember that in communicating with your wife, you also need to listen. If you know that she’s open to trying out sex toys, then schedule the right time to try it out. There are so many types of sex toys to choose from!

You can discuss what types of sex toys you can first try and slowly increase what you can tolerate. It’s a fun way to make love and bond with your spouse.

12. Buy sex furniture

When you’re done trying out sex toys and discover how fun it is to have them, maybe you’ll also consider sex furniture.

You can do some research and reviews if you have yet to see some of them. Whenever you’re ready, you can add one to your bedroom. Try out an adult sofa; we’re sure you’ll love it.

13. Try role-playing

What gets a woman in the mood is lots of foreplay, and that’s a fact. Speaking of foreplay and imagination, why not try role-playing?

This may come later in the relationship after you’ve tried adult furniture and sex toys. You can start by fulfilling your fantasies. Then, if you get the hang of it, you can move on to the more daring ones, with costumes and all.

14. Be spontaneous

Sex typically takes place at night. When you’ve finished all of your daily tasks, the kids are in bed or your fur babies are already asleep, but you’re just too tired to be excited and playful!

Get your wife in the mood by being spontaneous! Pull her while she’s folding the clothes, ask her to help in the garage, and start having sex at odd times of the day to make it more exciting!

She wouldn’t know when to expect it so it would keep her on her toes.

15. Stay healthy and fit

If you want to get her in the mood and stay excited in bed, both of you need to stay healthy and fit. No one would appreciate it when you’re already about to reach the climax and lie down because you’re tired.

Don’t let this impede enjoying your sex life. Be fit and healthy, and enjoy making love.

Do you know how to increase your self-esteem? Don’t worry because Micheline Maalouf, a licensed therapist, shows us how to increase your self-esteem.

16. Learn her love language®

Make love to your wife by learning her love language®. It’s one of the most effective ways to perk her up in bed.

Knowing and understanding your wife’s love language® will allow you to send her the message you want better. When you communicate through these languages, you give each other our loving messages.

17. Play sex games

Try out different sex games that add sexual excitement and engagement to your relationship.

Sex games might initially seem overwhelming and intimidating, so you can begin exploring these with something easy. And the internet is your resource when trying to find a sex game that is right for you and your partner. 

18. Massage her

If you think your wife is tired or stressed and wants extra loving, massage her first. Work those hands of yours and remove all those tensed muscles.

You can use scented or edible oil and finish it with some hand gestures that will make her scream in pleasure. You know what we mean by that. This will ensure a good night’s sleep for both of you.

19. Cuddle her

Sometimes, the best way to ignite your wife’s carnal desires is to start with hugs, kisses, and cuddles. By allowing her to relax and feel your loving arms, she can feel at ease, sexy, and wanted.

Don’t rush things. Sometimes, starting slow and sexy is the way to go if you want her to want you more.

Related Reading: Is Cuddling a Sign of Love? 12 Secret Signs

20. Say, “I love you”

While cuddling, you can take it up a notch and say those three magical words. Did you know these words can also ignite your wife’s passion? Hearing these words has different effects on every person, but we all appreciate it.

Making love is different, more satisfying, and more beautiful. So, while you’re caressing her, say those beautiful words and see how she reciprocates.

Bonus tips:

If you’re feeling the excitement, let’s go ahead and give you more tips!

If you haven’t tried sex toys and role plays, this is the time to do it. 

Just like what we’ve mentioned above, it’s not bad to try out new things to spice up your sex life.

Just remember! It’s a must for you to talk about it first and if she agrees, then it’s time to introduce the amazing world of role plays. Live your wildest fantasies and make sure that you do a great act!

Slowly, you’ll see how doubts will disappear as you and your spouse learn to let go and enjoy your sex life.

How to get your wife in the mood is with the use of sex toys

Start with things that are more accessible and comfortable for you, and then take things from there. You’ll love the wide choices you can find and the endless possibilities!

You and your wife will have fruitful years together, so why not make the most out of it? Why not do everything you can to keep your passion and intimacy burning? 

Marriage can be so much better if both husband and wife exert effort into keeping their marriage strong.

Sexual skills can be learned, but the secret to the success of being a sex idol is learning to let go. 

There is no room for inhibitions when you want to know how to get your wife in the mood. Being intimate and passionate with your wife is normal, but it’s better if you go the extra mile to satisfy her.

Final takeaway

If you want to learn how to get your wife in the mood, then think about her first. Remember that it’s not all about you. It would help if you also consider your wife.

Ask yourself why she’s not in the mood, and address issues if there are any. Then, you can try different ways to work on her libido.

Fortunately, there are a lot of ways how you can ignite her carnal passion. Once you do, you’ll enjoy your renewed sexual intimacy with each other.