11 Subtle Signs of Snowplow Parenting & How to Avoid

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Parenting refers to raising and nurturing children from childhood to adulthood. This process involves providing the children with psychological, emotional, and physical support so they grow to become responsible individuals. 

However, some parents make the mistake of being overbearing and excessively demanding when training their children. So, let’s try to learn about what snowplow parenting means, the signs, and how to deal with it.

What does snowplow parenting mean?

Snowplow parenting is a style marked by over-involvement in a child’s life. Parents go to great lengths to clear any obstacles in their path, similar to using a snowplow to carve a way through the snow. 

Snowplow parenting examples include parents taking an active role in every aspect of their child’s life, from academics to social interactions.

11 signs of snowplow parenting

When snowplow parenting is in play, the parents are overly involved in their child’s life. So, after understanding “What are snowplow parents?” it’s also essential that we know what signs you need to look out for that might indicate you’re a snowplow parent. Below are 11 signs of snowplow parenting:

1. Overprotection

Snowplow parents tend to be too protective of their children. When they see any potential challenge or discomfort, they remove it from the way. Such parents prefer solving problems for their children instead of letting them face them, which is a sign of a snowplow parenting style.

2. Regular intervention

Another sign of snowplow parenting is when the parents constantly intervene in their children’s daily activities. This includes helping with school work, social life, online social media presence, etc. They will regularly monitor what their children are doing, even to the point of managing their schedule. 

3. Prevent them from failing

You can identify snowplow parenting when parents do not want their children to fail. Most parents will go to great lengths to ensure their children do not experience disappointment or failure.

4. Lack of initiative

Snowplow parents are fond of preventing their children from taking the initiative. According to the snowplow definition, children are prevented from making decisions without any external influence or intervention. They prefer to help their children make every decision in their lives.

5. Micro-management

One way to understand snowplow parenting is to see how it is practiced. Snowplow parents manage every aspect of their lives, leaving their children no room to make their own decisions. 

6. Inability to cope

Children with snowplow parents will find it difficult to cope with stress or other factors. This is because their parents have not allowed them to develop problem-solving skills and resilience. Therefore, they will keep depending on their parents to solve their issues. 

7. Reduced social skills

When children have a snowplow mom or dad, it can be challenging for them to develop good social skills. They will be restricted from engaging in social situations because their parents are always in the picture. Moreover, they will struggle to make social connections without their parents’ help. 

8. High standards

From the snow plow definition, most parents hold their children to high standards, and they are sometimes unrealistic. Such parents push their children to do things beyond their capacity and interests. When the children don’t meet expectations, it could become a problem for them.

9. Lack of autonomy

In snowplow parenting, children are often not allowed to be independent. They will not be able to think for themselves or be self-sufficient. This is because their parents have managed their lives.

10. Difficulty handling criticism

Snowplow parents often shield their children from any form of criticism, leading to difficulty handling feedback. As a result, their children may struggle to accept constructive criticism, seeing it as a personal attack rather than a learning opportunity.

11. Selecting friends

Snowplow parents may go as far as choosing their child’s friends, only allowing relationships they perceive as beneficial. They often discourage friendships they consider less advantageous, limiting their child’s ability to form genuine social connections.

13 helpful ways to avoid becoming a snowplow parent

To avoid becoming a snowplow parent means that you want to strike a balance between raising your children and giving them a sense of independence and freedom. Here are 13 ways to avoid being a snowplow parent:

1. Evaluate your parenting style

Assess your parenting style to avoid becoming a snowplow parent. Communicate with your child to determine if you are overbearing or not, allowing them to be free with their lives. 

2. Avoid setting unrealistic expectations

Another way to avoid snowplow parenting is by not setting unrealistic expectations. Understand your children’s skills and abilities, and set expectations while considering their strengths and weaknesses. 

3. Support independence

You can motivate your children to make decisions without influencing them. Ensure that those choices are age-appropriate so that they can grow to be individuals who can think for themselves.

4. Teach problem-solving skills

Concerning the question of how to snowplow, you can avoid this by teaching your children problem-solving skills. Instead of solving all the problems for your child, you can guide them to find solutions to some of their problems. 

5. Teach resilience

When your children suffer setbacks, ensure you teach them how to recover. Knowing how to handle resilience will make them understand that disappointments, setbacks, and challenges are part of life. 

6. Provide growth opportunities

Don’t restrict your child from trying out new things. When there is an opportunity for them to get better at something, give them the chance to explore it. 

7. Listen actively

You can prevent snowplow parenting by listening actively to them. Ensure you are empathetic to their needs. Respect their opinions and offer guidance when needed. 

8. Celebrate their efforts

When your child tries to do something, applaud them for it whether they succeed or not. Encouraging your child to put in effort ensures they are not afraid of trying out anything. 

9. Teach them that failure is not bad

If your child fails at something, don’t add to their woes. Make them realize that there are some things we will succeed and fail at in life. Encourage them to try again and not give up.

10. Respect their boundaries

In order to prevent snowplow parenting, it is essential to respect their boundaries. Avoid being in their space each time. Acknowledge their feelings, ask for permission, respect their privacy, support some of their choices, etc.

11. Offer guidance and support

Ensure your children can look up to you for guidance and support without you taking over. Provide them with assistance and empower them to handle things based on their capacity.

12. Encourage accountability

Teach your children to be responsible for their actions and decisions. Encourage them to own up to their mistakes and learn from them instead of blaming others. Accountability helps them become self-reliant and promotes healthy decision-making.

Watch this TED Talk where Tameka Montgomery talks about 5 parenting tips to raise self-reliant kids:

13. Avoid micromanaging

Give your children room to complete tasks independently without constant supervision. Trust their ability to manage their responsibilities, and only step in when absolutely necessary. This approach fosters confidence and teaches them valuable life skills. 

FAQs

Now that we have discussed almost all the major aspects of snowplow parenting let’s try to find answers to some additional questions commonly raised about the topic.

• Why is snowplow parenting a good thing?

Snowplow parenting is not regarded as a good thing, even if it is done unintentionally by parents. It describes a situation in which parents are overprotective and overly controlling.

• What is the difference between a helicopter and a snowplow parent?

Helicopter parents are actively involved in every aspect of their children’s lives and constantly monitor them. In contrast, snowplow parents eliminate challenges and obstacles in their children’s path so they don’t experience failure.

Hence, when it comes to snowplow parents vs. helicopter parents, you now know how they differ. 

• Does snowplow parenting negatively affect children in the long run?

Snowplow parenting can be harmful to children in the long run, as it can prevent them from developing problem-solving skills, resilience, independence, etc. 

• How can you shift from a snowplow parenting approach to a balanced one?

You can apply a more balanced approach by encouraging your child to be independent, supporting their choices, teaching resilience, evaluating your parenting style, etc. 

• What can I do if I discover I’m a snowplow parent?

If you find out you’re a snowplow parent, you can consider seeking advice from experts or therapists. Consider modifying your parenting style and be more aware of how you interact with your children. 

Balanced parenting is good parenting

Being a snowplow parent can negatively impact your child, and they can grow up to be adults who find it challenging to be independent and make decisions for themselves. 

If you need help stopping snowplow parenting and taking a more balanced approach, see a therapist or a counselor for assistance.

Here’s a valuable resource for you to explore more. Read this article by Lynne S Wolbert and other authors to learn the attitude parents should have toward their children’s future flourishing.