13 Characteristics of a Narcissistic Partner & Ways to Deal

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We all dream of finding someone who makes us feel special and happy. And sometimes, at the beginning, it can feel like that’s exactly what you’ve found. 

But over time, things can shift toward the characteristics of a narcissist.

You might start noticing that your partner seems preoccupied with themselves, or that you never quite feel like you’re doing enough to please them. Maybe they put you down more than they lift you up.

If this sounds familiar, it’s possible you might be involved with someone who has narcissistic tendencies. 

It’s a confusing situation to be in, and it’s completely normal to feel unsure of yourself.  

But remember, you’re not alone. 

But this isn’t about pointing fingers or placing blame. 

Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and understanding. 

By learning about narcissistic behavior, you can start to recognize patterns and take steps towards creating a more fulfilling future for yourself.

Let’s learn about some common narcissistic partner traits, and how to handle these situations with compassion for yourself.

Is your partner a narcissist?

Is your relationship feeling off-center lately?

You might be wondering if your partner’s behavior is normal, or if something deeper is going on. 

Maybe you crave their validation, but conversations always seem to focus on them. Perhaps you feel unheard and unseen, and it’s chipping away at your happiness.

It’s easy to brush these feelings aside as a temporary bump in the road. But what if they’re signs of something more? You should make yourself aware of what is a narcissistic partner.

The truth is, narcissistic traits are more common than we realize. Studies suggest around 6% of the population might exhibit them. 

You’re not alone in questioning the dynamic of your relationship. Characteristics of a narcissist can be difficult to spot.

Imagine the constant strain of feeling like you have to tiptoe around your partner or that your needs are never a priority. This can slowly erode your self-esteem and joy. Instead of blame, let’s focus on understanding.  

Instead of finger-pointing, let’s focus on understanding. By acknowledging your feelings and getting some clarity, you can take a big step towards a relationship that actually nourishes you.

Read this insightful article to understand more on this topic.

13 Identifying characteristics of a narcissist partner

You give your all, but your partner’s needs constantly seem to take center stage. Exhausting situation, isn’t it?

These experiences can be incredibly confusing, and it’s important to understand what kind of situation you’re in. Here are some red flags or characteristics of a narcissist as we say that might indicate such tendencies in your partner:

1. Ever feel like your conversations hit a dead end? 

You share your day or a triumph, but it’s like they’re waiting for their turn to shine. 

Imagine dates or evenings where discussions constantly circle back to them, leaving you unheard and a little unseen.

2. Remember that initial spark? 

Maybe they were incredibly attentive at first, making you feel understood. Now, you might find their empathy lacking as you spot certain characteristics of a narcissist.

When you’re feeling down, their response feels dismissive, or they turn the conversation back to their own woes. Here are some questions for you to self answer:

3. Do you ever feel like you’re constantly on the hook? 

They might have a sense of entitlement, expecting you to drop everything for their needs without a second thought. This is one of the most common characteristics of a narcissist.

Imagine canceling plans or going above and beyond to keep them happy, while your needs get pushed aside.

4. Subtle guilt trips sound familiar? 

People showing characteristics of a narcissist can be masters at manipulation, twisting situations to their advantage. 

You find yourself questioning your own reality, like you’re responsible for their happiness or to blame for their moods.

5. Do compliments feel rare these days?  

Perhaps they have an inflated sense of self-importance. You share an accomplishment, hoping for excitement, but instead, they downplay it or brag about how they could do better. It can be a constant battle for their approval.

6. Feeling like you’re constantly giving?  

Those showing characteristics of a narcissist might take advantage of your kindness or resources. 

Imagine using your connections to help them out, but genuine appreciation or reciprocation feels absent.

7. Taking responsibility for arguments? 

Maybe they struggle to admit fault. Disagreements turn into frustrating loops where you’re blamed or made to feel like you’re overreacting. 

It can be exhausting and leave you questioning your own perspective.

8. Feeling like your opinions don’t matter? 

People with severe characteristics of a narcissist might have a controlling side, dictating decisions without considering your input. 

Imagine finances or plans being decided without a conversation, leaving you feeling unheard and without autonomy.

9. Remember when they charmed you off your feet?  

The initial magnetism can be strong, making it hard to see deeper. But over time, that facade might slip, revealing a more self-centered and less considerate personality.

10. Does the spotlight always seem to be on them?  

They might crave constant attention, dominating conversations at social gatherings and leaving others feeling like an afterthought. Imagine feeling invisible while they soak up all the praise.

11. Ever feel like you’re crazy?  

Gaslighting is a sneaky tactic. They might deny saying something hurtful or twist your words, making you doubt your own memories and perceptions. It can be incredibly confusing and disorienting.

12. Jealousy a constant theme? 

They might struggle with envy, both towards you and others. You achieve something amazing, but they find a way to downplay it or express suspicion of your success.

13. Criticism feels like walking on eggshells? 

Sharing a gentle observation can turn into a defensive outburst. They might lash out or make the situation about your flaws, shutting down any chance for healthy communication.

How to deal with a narcissist partner: 7 strategies to help you out

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be an emotional herculean task. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you need to read this. 

Here are seven practical strategies to help you maintain your sanity and regain control.

1. Set coherent boundaries

What it means: It’s important to protect your space and well-being by establishing limits when living with a narcissistic partner.

Challenging scenario: Your partner constantly invades your personal space, demanding your attention even when you need time for yourself.

Counter reaction: Calmly and firmly communicate your need for personal time. You might say, “I need some quiet time after work to recharge. Let’s catch up after dinner.” Stick to these boundaries consistently.

2. Adopting self-care

What it means: Dealing with a narcissistic partner can be emotionally exhausting and painstaking. Taking care of yourself is vital when dealing with a partner who shows signs of a narcissistic partner and drains your energy.

Challenging scenario: You feel emotionally exhausted because your partner’s needs always come first.

Counter reaction: Prioritize activities that rejuvenate you, like hobbies, exercise, or spending time with friends. Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine, ensuring you maintain your own well-being.

3. Holding your calm and composure

What it means: Keeping your cool can defuse tension and prevent arguments from escalating.

Challenging scenario: Your partner provokes you during arguments, trying to get an emotional reaction.

Counter reaction: Take deep breaths and remain calm. Respond with measured, neutral statements. For example, “I understand you’re upset. Let’s discuss this when we’re both calmer.”

4. Let go of arguing

What it means: Engaging in arguments can be futile and exhausting.

Challenging scenario: Your partner insists on winning every argument, often twisting facts to suit their narrative.

Counter reaction: Recognize when a conversation is turning into a power struggle. Instead of engaging, say, “I don’t think arguing about this will help. Let’s agree to disagree.”

Do you find it challenging to stop arguing with your partner? Take some advice from Navy veteran Roderick Jeter in this video:

5. Seeking support is fine

What it means: Having a support system can provide validation and practical advice.

Challenging scenario: You feel isolated and unsure if your experiences are valid.

Counter reaction: Reach out to trusted friends, family, or a therapist who can offer perspective and support. Talking about your experiences can validate your feelings and provide practical advice.

6. Gain your independence

What it means: Preserving your autonomy is key to staying grounded.

Challenging scenario: Your partner tries to control aspects of your life, like your finances, social connections, or career choices.

Counter reaction: Assert your independence by making decisions that are best for you. For example, “I’ve decided to take that job offer because it aligns with my career goals.” Reinforce your autonomy consistently.

7. Professional help is available

What it means: Therapy can offer coping strategies and a safe space to express yourself.

Challenging scenario: The relationship dynamics severely impact your mental health and well-being.

Counter reaction: Encourage your partner to attend couples therapy, but also seek individual counseling for yourself. A professional can help you develop coping strategies and evaluate the relationship’s impact on your life.  

Finding clarity and empowerment

Spotting the signs of a narcissist partner can be tough and emotional, but it’s a vital step towards reclaiming your happiness. 

Recognizing traitslike a constant need for admiration, lack of empathy, and manipulative behaviors helps you understand your situation more clearly. 

You and everyone else deserve a relationship built on mutual respect and support. 

If you find yourself with a narcissist, know that there is hope and help. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can help you navigate this challenging time. Do not hesitate to face the question of ‘How to leave a narcissistic partner?’

Embrace the journey towards a healthier, more fulfilling relationship where your voice is heard, and your needs are valued.