Cerebral Narcissists: Signs, Causes & How to Deal With Them

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Imagine having a conversation with someone who seems incredibly intelligent, yet every topic circles back to their accomplishments, leaving you feeling dismissed. 

This dynamic often points to cerebral narcissism, a lesser-known but insidious form of narcissism that can be just as damaging as its more overt counterparts. 

Unlike the classic exhibitionist narcissist, the cerebral covert narcissist thrives on intellectual superiority and often hides their grandiosity behind a façade of modesty.

So, what are the different types of narcissists, and how can you spot a cerebral one? 

If you’ve ever found yourself questioning whether someone’s intellectual posturing is rooted in insecurity, you’re not alone. 

This article will help you recognize the signs of cerebral narcissism and understand its causes, allowing you to manage your interactions with more awareness. 

What is a cerebral narcissist?

Cerebral Narcissists play with their mind. They believe in gaining intellectual abilities. For them, being smart and intelligent is the best way to rule others.

Their pride is their source.

They are known to show their intellect whenever they’re involved in a conversation. They would use complex words, acquire information to use later, and will present some groundbreaking ideas.

They entirely focus on wooing others through their command over language and intellectuality, which puts others underneath them. They restrict their social interactions believing most of them are non-intellectual and stupid.

They prefer hanging out with a smart crowd or high-status people.

9 signs of a cerebral narcissist

How do you know if someone is a cerebral narcissist man or woman? Here are some traits or signs that can reveal cerebral narcissism.

1. Intelligence

One of the cerebral narcissist signs is intelligence. Cerebral narcissists feed on intelligence.

They believe that they’re smarter than their peers and know everything. They study a lot and use this information whenever needed. They prefer putting others down during a conversation or making them feel stupid.

They ensure that they win every argument or discussion.

2. Ego

One of the cerebral narcissist traits is that they have a huge ego.

This is the result of their intelligence. They can’t take no and can’t have anyone above them. For them, almost every individual around them is stupid or non-intelligent. They prefer to rule their peers.

Denying them or proving them wrong would mean you’re hurting their ego.

3. Demand authority

Need for authority is one of the cerebral narcissist symptoms. With their intelligence, they demand an authoritative position where ruling or managing people gets easy. They ensure that people underneath them are less intelligent and do as they’re said.

They can’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

LMHC Grady Shumway points out,

Narcissists leverage their intelligence to establish a dominant position, often surrounding themselves with individuals they perceive as less capable, ensuring that others follow their directives without question. For them, accepting a “no” is not an option, as their need for control drives their interactions and relationships.

4. Less interest in sex

Due to high intelligence, they have restricted social contact.

They don’t prefer interacting with people with less IQ. For them, doing so would mean degrading themselves. Furthermore, they can’t have a physical relationship with people they find less intelligent.

They would prefer masturbating to having sex with them.

5. Lack of empathy

A person who has cerebral narcissistic traits lacks empathy. They are not considerate about if their actions cause trouble to their partner, let alone anyone else.

They can be purely unperturbed on your face even when you share a concern with them.

6. Manipulative communication

Cerebral narcissists are often master manipulators. They skillfully twist conversations to make themselves appear more knowledgeable or capable. You might notice they use jargon or complex language to confuse others, ensuring they dominate discussions. 

Their aim is to make you doubt your own opinions and abilities, keeping you off balance and dependent on their perceived superiority. 

This constant manipulation can lead you to question your own understanding of topics, which only feeds their ego.

7. Conditional friendships

These individuals tend to maintain relationships only if they feel intellectually superior. They often engage with those who bolster their self-esteem, distancing themselves from anyone who might challenge their worldview. 

This creates a superficial social circle that revolves around their needs rather than mutual support and respect.

If you no longer serve their need for validation or admiration, they might quickly discard you. 

8. Overly critical

Cerebral narcissists often adopt a hyper-critical stance towards others, particularly when it comes to intellectual discussions or creative ideas. They have a knack for pinpointing flaws in others’ logic or arguments, often doing so in a condescending tone. 

This criticism isn’t about constructive feedback; instead, it’s a tactic to assert their superiority and diminish others. 

You may find yourself feeling constantly on edge, fearing that any idea you share will be shot down.

9. Intellectual elitism

These narcissists exhibit a form of intellectual elitism, believing they’re part of a select group of “enlightened” individuals. They may express disdain for those they consider less informed or uneducated, often making derogatory comments about people’s intelligence or interests. 

They thrive in environments that reinforce their self-image as the smartest person in the room, and they often seek out discussions that allow them to showcase their perceived intellect.

This elitism can create an exclusive atmosphere, where only their perspectives and insights matter.

5 causes of Cerebral Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Let’s talk about what causes cerebral narcissism.

What leads to someone being a cerebral narcissist female or male? Know the causes of cerebral narcissism.

The exact causes of cerebral narcissism are not known. However, it is believed that the causes overlap with that of general narcissism. Some of them include –

1. Genetics: Some people are born with narcissism in their DNA. Children inherit it from their parents as a part of the genes handed down.
2. Parent-child relationship: If someone has been brought up by an over-protective parent, or a parent who neglected their needs as a child, they are more likely to develop narcissistic tendencies. Insecurities can lead to narcissistic behavior, studies have shown. 
3. Neurobiology: Neurobiology is the science of the relationship between the brain, thinking, and behavior. A person’s neurobiological conditions can be the cause of cerebral narcissism.
4. Societal influences: In cultures that highly value intelligence and achievement, individuals may feel immense pressure to excel intellectually. This pressure can promote an inflated sense of self-worth, especially if someone frequently receives praise for their intellect. 
5. Childhood experiences: In addition to the parent-child relationship, other childhood experiences can impact the development of cerebral narcissism. For instance, children who are excessively praised for their intellectual accomplishments without balanced feedback can grow up to believe they are inherently superior. 

Difference between covert narcissists and cerebral narcissists

People often get confused between covert narcissism and cerebral narcissism. A covert narcissist is someone who plays nice; however, they do not have empathy or love for the person in question. 

Cerebral narcissists, however, play with the minds of people. They use their intellect and knowledge to make other people feel small. They will use big words, jargon, and all sorts of facts to establish power over others.

 Understanding the difference between covert narcissists and cerebral narcissists can be tricky since both display narcissistic traits but in distinct ways. Let’s break it down in a simple table to highlight their key differences.

Understanding the difference between covert narcissists and cerebral narcissists can be tricky since both display narcissistic traits but in distinct ways. Let’s break it down in a simple table to highlight their key differences.

How to deal with a cerebral narcissist: 5 effective ways

Are you married to a cerebral narcissist? It is certainly not easy to be in a relationship with a cerebral narcissist husband or wife.

They think highly of themselves and treat others with disrespect. They believe they’re above all because they’re intelligent and take pride in their knowledge and perfection. When you’re in a relationship with such a person, it gets difficult to live a happy life.

There will be multiple situations wherein you’re put down or made to feel stupid.

Above all, cerebral narcissist avoids physical relationship. They don’t want to get involved with anyone sexually, and it is very rare even if they do so. They get their pleasure by being intelligent and smart and their appreciation for their work and their perfection.

Such situations can bring in differences between you and your cerebral narcissist better half.

Here are some tricks that will help you get through your relationship with your partner.

1. Don’t fall into their words

They surely will mistreat you and will try to prove that you’re stupid and know nothing.

As per Grady Shumway states,

It’s essential not to get caught up in the words of a narcissist, as they often use them to belittle and manipulate. They thrive on making others feel inferior, exploiting their intelligence to assert dominance and disregard emotions. Remember, their behavior is a reflection of their character, not yours. Stay grounded in your self-worth, and focus on living a fulfilling life despite their tactics.

Remember that it is one of their traits.

They’re intelligent and believe others around them are stupid. They feed on others’ misery and love, proving others wrong. They’re ruthless and don’t care much about anyone’s emotions.

So, don’t fall for their words when they do the trick with you. This is who they’re, and nothing else can change that.

Just believe in yourself and live a happy life.

2. Avoid argument

It is known that you won’t be able to win an argument with them. By chance, if you do, you would hurt their huge ego, which eventually may worsen the situation.

So, don’t get into an argument with them.

They’re well-read and try to keep up their intelligence high. They won’t think twice before taking you down in any argument.

Winning an argument is not the best answer to your problem at all. So, keep the argument aside and avoid it as much as possible. This might be hard, but it is the best solution.

3. Don’t get manipulated

A cerebral narcissist loves controlling people.

They love being in authority and miss no chance to rule others. So, they might get into manipulating you by showing that you’re no good and are stupid. They might also show that you’re lucky to have a smart husband like him.

If these things turn up, just ignore them. Don’t let them manipulate you through their intelligence. Remember, every individual is good in their way.  You’re not bad or stupid.

4. Establish boundaries

Setting clear boundaries is essential when dealing with a cerebral narcissist. They may try to push your limits, testing your patience and resilience. Be firm about what behaviors you will not tolerate. 

For instance, if they belittle you or dismiss your feelings, calmly express that this behavior is unacceptable. A well-defined boundary can create a protective barrier, giving you space to maintain your self-worth. It’s not about changing them but about safeguarding yourself.

Learn all about setting boundaries with a narcissist with this helpful video by clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula:

5. Seek support

Surround yourself with a solid support system of friends and family who understand your situation. Sharing your experiences can provide relief and validation. Consider joining a support group or speaking with a therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse. 

They can offer insights and coping strategies tailored to your unique circumstances. Remember, you don’t have to navigate this challenging relationship alone; leaning on others can empower you to reclaim your confidence and peace of mind.

The way forward

Living with a cerebral narcissist can feel like a battle, but it’s also an opportunity to discover your resilience. As you maintain this complex relationship, remember that your self-worth isn’t defined by their perceptions. 

Focus on building your confidence and establishing boundaries that protect your well-being. This journey is not just about managing someone else’s behavior; it’s about reclaiming your power and investing in your growth.

Take time for self-reflection and explore your passions and interests outside the relationship. Engage in activities that bring you joy and remind you of your unique value. As you foster a deeper connection with yourself, you’ll find that your life can flourish, even amid challenges. 

You have the strength to thrive beyond the confines of a cerebral narcissist’s influence—embrace that journey and look forward to a brighter, more empowered future!