13 Meditative Tips on How to Move on From a Long Marriage

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Going down the emotional terrain after the end of a long marriage can feel like an insurmountable task. 

The dissolution of a partnership, especially one that has spanned decades, is not only about separating from a person but also from a shared history, memories, and the future once envisioned together. 

 Intriguingly, statistics say that while the rate of “gray divorce” — divorces occurring in those over 50 — has doubled since 1990, it remains less common than among younger demographics. 

This rise reflects not just societal shifts but also deeper complexities within long-term relationships. Many couples from earlier generations endured unhappy marriages to avoid the stigma of divorce, a trend that began to change with the Baby Boomers. 

The biggest risk factor for such divorces isn’t a life transition like children leaving home, but rather the history of a marriage and previous divorces, underscoring the nuanced fabric of long-term relationships

Knowing how to move on from a long marriage, surviving divorce after a long marriage, and, managing a long-term marriage divorce often become journeys of self-discovery, healing, and eventual renewal. 

The path is neither straightforward nor uniform; it’s woven with individual stories of struggle, enlightenment, and, sometimes, unexpected new beginnings.

Is it normal to feel so many emotions after a long divorce?

Yes, it’s completely normal to experience a wide array of emotions following a divorce, especially after a long marriage. The process of how to move on from a long marriage involves navigating through various stages of emotional healing. 

Research highlight = Research suggests that the acute phase of divorce can trigger intense emotions such as shock, hurt, anger, guilt, or fear, which are part of the body and mind’s response to the sudden change in your life situation. 

It’s important to understand that these feelings are a normal part of the separation process. The emotional journey after divorce can include moments of sadness, loss, freedom, and re-discovery. 

People often oscillate between feelings of excitement for a new chapter in life and mourning the loss of the life they once had​​. These emotions are part of working through the emotional divorce from your ex, which is crucial for moving on. 

Not addressing these feelings can keep you emotionally tied to your ex and hinder your ability to fully move forward​​.

How long does it take to get over a marriage? It varies significantly from person to person. This can take anywhere from a year or two to feel like you’ve started to recover from the divorce and find a new equilibrium.

How to move on from a long marriage: 13 meditative tips

Moving on from a long marriage requires a journey through emotional healing and self-discovery. It’s a process that is as personal as it is profound, with no set timeline for when you’ll feel “normal” again. 

How to move on from a marriage, especially one that has been a significant part of your life for many years, involves more than just practical adjustments; it necessitates a deep, introspective look at oneself and a commitment to personal growth. 

Below are 13 meditative tips designed to aid in this journey, focusing on mindfulness and self-care to foster healing and a sense of a new beginning.

1. Embrace solitude

Solitude offers a powerful space for self-reflection and healing. Spend time alone to connect with your thoughts and feelings deeply. Use this time to meditate, journal, or simply sit in silence. It’s in these moments of solitude that you may find clarity and peace.

2. Practice mindfulness meditation

Mindfulness meditation helps anchor you in the present moment, reducing worries about the past and anxieties about the future. Start with just a few minutes each day, focusing on your breath and gently bringing your mind back when it wanders. This practice can help reduce stress and increase emotional well-being.

3. Cultivate self-compassion

Be kind to yourself during this challenging time. Practicing self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness, concern, and support you would offer a good friend. Recognize that healing takes time, and be patient with your progress.

4. Engage in guided visualization

Visualize a place where you feel safe, happy, and at peace. Guided visualization can transport you to this place, helping reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. It can also be a powerful tool for envisioning your life moving forward positively.

5. Connect with nature

Spending time in nature has a calming effect on the mind and body. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike in the woods, or simply sitting by a body of water, allow the natural world to help you find balance and peace.

6. Establish a gratitude practice

Focusing on gratitude can shift your perspective from what you’ve lost to what you still have. Start or end your day by listing three things you’re grateful for. This practice can foster positive emotions and help you appreciate the present moment.

7. Journal your thoughts and feelings

Writing can be a therapeutic way to process your emotions. Set aside time each day to journal. Write about your feelings, experiences, and any insights gained during meditation. This can be a private space to express yourself freely and reflect on your journey.

8. Develop a yoga practice

Yoga combines physical postures, breath work, and meditation, offering a holistic approach to well-being. It can help release physical tension and promote emotional balance. Look for styles of yoga that emphasize mindfulness and inner peace, such as Hatha or Yin Yoga.

9. Explore loving-kindness meditation

This type of meditation focuses on developing feelings of goodwill, kindness, and warmth towards yourself and others. Regular practice can increase positive emotions and reduce negative ones, aiding in the healing process.

10. Seek out community support

Joining a meditation or mindfulness group can provide a sense of community and shared experience. Being part of a group focused on growth and healing can offer encouragement and support as you navigate your journey.

11. Practice mindful eating

Mindful eating involves paying full attention to the experience of eating and drinking, both inside and outside the body. It can help you enjoy your food more and recognize your body’s hunger and satiety signals, promoting a healthy relationship with food.

12. Focus on your breath

Whenever you feel overwhelmed, return to your breath. Breathwork can be a quick and effective way to bring your attention back to the present and reduce anxiety. Simple techniques, such as deep belly breathing or the 4-7-8 method, can be particularly helpful.

13. Set intentions for your future

Use meditation to set positive intentions for your future. Visualize yourself moving forward, achieving personal growth, and finding happiness again. Setting intentions can help guide your actions and thoughts towards these goals.

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FAQs

Being in the aftermath of a long marriage’s end can be both challenging and transformative. Here are answers to some frequently asked questions that touch upon the heart of this journey, offering insights and understanding to those finding their way through such a pivotal life change.

• Is it possible to rebuild life after the end of a long marriage?

Yes, it’s entirely possible to rebuild life after the end of a long marriage. This period can be a profound time of self-discovery and growth. Many find new hobbies, relationships, and paths that lead to fulfilling and joyful lives. It requires patience, self-care, and sometimes support from friends, family, or professionals.

• What role does self-reflection play in the process of moving on?

Self-reflection is crucial in the process of moving on as it allows you to understand the dynamics of your past relationship, your role in it, and what you truly desire moving forward. It helps in healing past wounds, learning from the experience, and making conscious choices for your future.

• How long does it take to get over a long marriage?

The time it takes to get over a long marriage varies greatly among individuals. Factors like the marriage’s duration, reasons for the divorce, and personal resilience play a role. It’s a deeply personal journey that can take months to years, emphasizing the importance of patience and self-compassion.

• Why is it so hard to leave a long marriage?

Leaving a long marriage is hard due to the deep emotional, financial, and familial entanglements that developed over the years. It signifies the end of shared dreams and plans, alongside navigating the fear of the unknown and the challenge of redefining one’s identity and life path.

Steering life after a long marriage

Beginning the process of moving on from a long marriage presents an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. While the road may seem daunting, it’s paved with chances to rebuild, reflect, and rediscover joy and fulfillment. 

Remember, healing takes time and varies for everyone. Embracing this process with patience, self-compassion, and an open heart can lead to profound transformations and new beginnings. It’s a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the endless capacity for renewal and happiness.