10 Ways to Build Intimacy in a Marriage

Building intimacy in marriage is easier said than done, especially when you have been married for some time.

More often than not, couples are left alone to face their fears of turning into ‘old, boring married people,’ and that happens to the best of us. In these times, you’re not just out of touch with emotional and sexual support, but also, when your life is based around no ambitions, it can have serious effects on your psychological well-being.

What is intimacy in marriage?

As someone who is married, you need to realize that building intimacy in marriage is the foundation of a happy and fulfilling life. Little do people know that even the smallest of acts of love and affection can turn your married life around!

So, why intimacy is important in marriage?

Creating intimacy and respect in a marriage helps couples deep-dive into their reserves of love and overcome any dissatisfaction within their marriage.

Why building intimacy in marriage is important?

Building intimacy in marriage is essential for a strong and fulfilling relationship. It fosters trust, encourages vulnerability, and strengthens communication, leading to a happier and more connected partnership.

• Building intimacy in marriage is important because it strengthens the emotional connection between partners.
• Intimacy fosters trust and encourages partners to be vulnerable with each other, which leads to deeper levels of communication and understanding.
• Intimacy helps to build and maintain a strong and healthy sexual relationship, which is a key component of a satisfying marriage.
• Couples who prioritize intimacy are more likely to feel satisfied with their relationship and less likely to experience feelings of loneliness or disconnection.
• Intimacy can help to reduce stress and increase feelings of happiness and contentment within the marriage.
• Building intimacy requires regular effort and attention from both partners, which can help to reinforce their commitment to each other and strengthen their bond over time.
• When couples are intimate with each other, they are better equipped to handle conflicts and challenges that may arise in their relationship, as they have a foundation of trust and understanding to build upon.
• Intimacy can also help to deepen the overall level of intimacy in the relationship, as partners become more comfortable and open with each other over time.

10 ways to be more intimate in your marriage

Intimacy in marriage quickly gets translated into sexual bonding. However, if you are looking for a definite answer to the question, “how to develop intimacy?” it is important to understand different forms of intimacy.

Physical or sexual intimacy in marriage allows you to lay bare your body, with all its imperfections, for the pleasure of your partner. While it is a private moment for couples, it is celebrated for being an act of total self-giving, trust, and love.

Emotional intimacy allows you to share your feelings and emotions with each other in the most respectful ways. Intellectual intimacy allows you to share your opinions on  social, political, or religious issues and quench the thirst for knowledge and feed your mind.

Spiritual intimacy allows you to find a purpose and a sense of unity in your faith and beliefs. Equally important is financial intimacy, where you share honest communication about finances and recreational intimacy that equips you to enjoy fun experiences together.

Here are 10 ways to build intimacy in marriage:

1. Encourage each other

How to be more intimate? Become the only life and personal coach your spouse will ever need.

Motivate them during difficult times and acknowledge their efforts when they accomplish something. Express your respect for your spouse, and likewise, they will respect you.

Compliment them both, in private and public, and inspire them to become better person.

When you’re doing all this in your marriage, your spouse won’t have to look elsewhere for encouragement.

2. Laugh with each other

Laughter and happiness drive intimacy in marriage and are the best ways to keep things in perspective during difficult times.

When things are serious and intimacy in marriage takes a downturn, never miss a moment to share a laugh and lighten up the mood. Learn to control your anger and encourage your spouse to do the same, as becoming angry is never the solution.

Remember that with your spouse by your side, you can accomplish anything as long as you have a positive mindset and you can laugh about it while enjoying lasting intimacy in marriage

3. Open talk

The biggest barrier to building intimacy in marriage is the communication barrier. It is crucial to know if your partner is happy or otherwise, and equally important is to communicate how you feel and what you think. 

By building open and honest communication with your spouse, you will also be able to answer how to get intimate with your partner and rekindle the passion in your marriage.

Remember that open talks are the first step towards building intimate marriages. Everyone makes mistakes but what creates further issues; is when they are not dealt with properly.

Unresolved problems and misunderstandings are the first steps towards an unhappy marriage which may eventually lead to divorce.

Invest more time in open talks with your spouse rather than discussing these issues with your friends and family.

After all, it’s your concern, and you have to deal with it yourself.

4. Forgive and be forgiven

No intimacy in marriage from husband or wife? Be mindful of disconnecting from your spouse, as a lack of satisfaction in a relationship can even lead to cheating or any other forms of transgressions in marriage.

Being forgiving and not withholding sex to punish your spouse or win a power struggle can go a long way in building intimacy with your spouse.

A partner who has indulged in sexual indiscretions in the past could also be withholding sex due to the inability to open up sexually to the hurt spouse.

For creating intimacy, it is important to express anger or hurt in a healthy way, and not use sex as a bargaining tool or weapon. 

Developing intimacy in a relationship becomes a lost cause when sex is used as a weapon in relationships  to settle scores, as it ultimately leads to a breakdown in the relationship, leaving no intimacy in the marriage.

Forgiving your spouse for their past mistakes is never easy, but it’s always a good step to take for the sake of rebuilding intimacy in marriage.

It’s easy to get offended and create conflicts in marriage, but it’s very difficult to rectify them.

Look at things from your spouse’s perspective and try to understand why they did what they did that led to this situation. When you can forgive your spouse for the mistakes they made, they will be willing to forgive you when you’re at fault.

Related Reading: 10 Benefits of Forgiveness in Romantic Relationships

5. Communicate openly and honestly

Effective communication is key to building intimacy. Couples should make a habit of discussing their feelings, thoughts, and desires with each other. They should also be willing to listen actively and attentively to their partner’s perspective. 

Open and honest communication creates a sense of trust and strengthens the emotional connection between partners.

6. Make time for each other

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy for couples to get caught up in the demands of work and family life. It’s important to carve out quality time to spend together. 

This could be as simple as going for a walk, cooking dinner together, or planning a date night. Making time for each other shows that you prioritize your relationship and value your partner’s company.

Related Reading: Making Time For You And Your Spouse

7. Be affectionate

Affection is an essential component of intimacy. Simple acts like holding hands, hugging, and kissing can go a long way in strengthening the emotional and physical connection between partners. Regular displays of affection show that you care for and appreciate your partner.

Being affectionate is an essential part of any relationship. Check out some simple tips to become a more affectionate partner.

8. Explore each other’s interests

One way to build intimacy is to explore each other’s interests. Take an interest in your partner’s hobbies and passions. Try new things together and discover shared interests. Exploring each other’s interests creates a sense of closeness and helps to foster a deeper understanding of each other.

9. Prioritize sexual intimacy

Sexual intimacy is a crucial part of a healthy marriage. It’s important to make time for physical intimacy and prioritize it in the relationship. Couples should be open and honest about their desires and work together to create a fulfilling and satisfying sexual relationship.

10. Show gratitude and appreciation

Expressing gratitude and appreciation is an excellent way to build intimacy in a marriage. It’s important to acknowledge and recognize your partner’s efforts and contributions to the relationship. 

Regularly expressing gratitude and appreciation creates a positive atmosphere in the relationship and strengthens the emotional bond between partners.

More questions on how to build intimacy in marriage

Intimacy is a crucial element of a successful marriage. It is what sets the foundation for a deep and meaningful connection between partners. Building intimacy requires effort and commitment from both partners. Here are more questions on how to build intimacy in marriage:

1. How do you build intimacy in a sexless marriage?

These tips will help you find the answer to the question, “How to increase intimacy in marriage?”

• Shake up the routine, as monotony is the ultimate buzzkill for intimacy in marriage.
• Indulge in pillow talk, intimate conversations that allow you to talk about things that enhance closeness between couples.
• Put together a ” To-do fun list.”
• Dedicate a “tech-free” time to your partner. Unless you are aiming to drive a wedge in a relationship, phubbing is a strict no-no. ( Snubbing your partner in favor of mobile phones)
• Read erotica or play hot sex games together.
• Keep re-discovering each other and disclose more by letting off guard and engaging in full disclosure with your spouse.

Also, as a couple, keep in mind a marital intimacy checklist.  It could include items like working out together, praying, taking an activity as a couple, writing love letters or exchanging love-filled, discussing marriage finances, having meaningful conversations, or revisiting happy memories together.

2. Can a marriage regain intimacy?

Yes, a marriage can regain intimacy. Rebuilding intimacy requires effort and commitment from both partners. 

They need to communicate openly, make time for each other, show affection, explore each other’s interests, prioritize sexual intimacy, and express gratitude and appreciation. With patience, understanding, and dedication, couples can overcome any challenges and rebuild intimacy in their marriage. 

Sometimes the guidance of a trained therapist can be helpful. Marriage therapy can provide a safe and supportive environment for couples to communicate openly, work through issues, and rebuild their emotional and physical connection.

Takeaway

Resentment, issues, and misunderstandings can not only affect your marriage life but also translate into emotional, sexual, and psychological support issues. However, by adhering to these tips, you can take the right steps to building intimacy in your marriage once more.

Building intimacy in a marriage requires effort, commitment, and communication. By communicating openly and honestly, making time for each other, being affectionate, exploring each other’s interests, prioritizing sexual intimacy, and showing gratitude and appreciation, couples can build a strong and meaningful connection that will last a lifetime.

Continue exploring this topic

Talk to our Marriage.com AI Relationship Coach

Chat with me, ask questions and get help

Start Chatting

Marriage.com AI: Your Relationship Guide

Talk through what's on your mind.

Automated

Hi, I'm your relationship guide. What's on your mind?

YOU COULD START WITH

How can I build intimacy in my marriage?

What are some ways to improve marital intimacy?

AI guidance only - not therapy. In crisis? Call a helpline or Find a Therapist

Terms

Marriage.com Editorial Team Relationship & Marriage Advice

The Marriage.com Editorial Team is a group of experienced relationship writers, experts, and mental health professionals. We provide practical and research-backed advice on relationships. Our content is thoroughly reviewed by experts... Read more to ensure that we offer high-quality and reliable relationship advice. Read less

Marriage.com Assessment

What Help Does Your Relationship Need Most Right Now Quiz

Reviewed byJennifer Schulz, LCSW

Backed by relationship science and evidence-based psychology, this assessment helps identify the area of your relationship that deserves the most attention right now, whether things feel strong or slightly off. Research shows that even healthy relat...

Questions: 20 | Last updated: Jan 23, 2026

Sample Question

When you and your partner talk about something important…

We listen with care — even hard talks feel safe and productive

We try to talk, but lately emotional closeness feels harder to reach

I want to be open, but part of me still guards my heart

Our discussions sometimes spiral or end unresolved

It’s hard to feel close because our physical intimacy hasn’t felt strong lately

We often see things differently about goals or priorities

Take the Quiz Now