Building Authentic Relationships: 11 Essential Tips

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Relationships are precious connections that enrich our lives, especially romantic partnerships. Yet, in our fast-paced world, we crave something genuine. 

Authenticity is the key. It allows us to reveal our true selves and fosters trust, acceptance, and understanding. Being authentic creates openness and emotional intimacy, nurturing a strong bond.

Developing authenticity in relationships requires self-reflection, courage, and vulnerability. It involves exploring our beliefs and communicating openly with our partners. 

Authentic relationships are built on respect, where both partners feel valued. Cultivating authenticity brings self-discovery, growth, and love. So, let’s try to understand what all authentic and real connections stand for and how we can achieve it in our lives. 

What does authenticity mean in relationships?

Authenticity in relationships means being true to yourself and expressing your genuine thoughts and feelings. It’s about embracing vulnerability and creating a safe space for open communication. Authenticity builds trust, understanding, and a deeper connection that goes beyond masks and pretenses.

Authenticity in relationships occurs when both parties are honest and genuine with each other. Both partners understand that no one is perfect, but they are willing to accept each other’s flaws and come to a fruitful and positive compromise.

More importantly, studies show that authenticity in relationships is one way to develop a genuine bond between two partners. Furthermore, authentic relationships are devoid of fear and insecurity because both spouses love each other wholeheartedly, even when communicating their vulnerability.

How can you tell if a relationship is authentic?

Authentic relationships are like rays of sunshine that warm our hearts and bring a sense of fulfillment. But how can we discern if a relationship is truly authentic? Here are some key pointers to guide you toward genuine connections:

• Authentic relationships thrive on open, honest, and non-judgmental communication. Partners feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings, and needs without fear of rejection or criticism. They actively listen to one another, seeking to understand and empathize.
• Authentic relationships are built on a foundation of respect. Both partners value each other’s opinions, boundaries, and autonomy. There is a sense of equality and support, where decisions are made collaboratively and differences are embraced.
• In authentic relationships, vulnerability is not only accepted but also celebrated. Partners can be their true selves without fear of judgment or rejection. They share their fears, insecurities, and dreams, fostering a deep sense of intimacy and connection.
• Trust is the bedrock of authenticity. Partners trust each other’s words and actions, feeling confident that they can rely on one another. Promises are kept, and actions align with words, creating a secure and dependable foundation.
• Authentic relationships encourage personal growth and support each other’s aspirations. Partners inspire and motivate one another, celebrating achievements and helping each other through challenges. There is a shared belief in each other’s potential and a commitment to nurturing individual and joint growth.

11 ways to have authentic relationships

Displaying authenticity is an integral aspect of a relationship. If you are true to yourself in a relationship and your partner follows suit, it becomes a healthy, strong, and honest relationship.

To develop this attribute and maintain authentic relationships, here are some ways to get started:

1. Intentional and considerate communication

Being intentional and considerate when communicating makes your partner realize that you care about their feelings. When your partner mentions their needs to you, it is essential not to make it about yourself instead. 

Relationship Coach Richard E. Hellen in his book Marriage & Relationship Success: It’s Intentional sees a direct correlation between being intentional in all aspects of your relationship and having a thriving marriage.

When it comes to the act of being genuine, intentional, and considerate, communication is one of the primary yardsticks for measurement. It is crucial to mention that this type of communication is a two-way road, as it involves speaking, listening, and spending quality time understanding the other person’s perspectives.

2. Choose to love your partner each day

How to be authentic in a relationship? Through genuine and never-ending affection.

Loving your partner is vital to becoming an authentic person. It is expedient to state that partners who decide to love actively and consciously are more likely to have successful relationships than those who don’t.

It would help if you were deliberate in how you behave and speak to your partner. If you tell your partner that you love and care about them, it should also reflect in what you do for and towards them. After all, actions do speak louder than words.

Choosing to love your partner every day helps you treat them as a priority. Your spouse will feel secure because you love them deliberately, and they can see it in your actions. Everyday actions help create an authentic connection as couples learn to trust each other.

3. Create boundaries in your relationship

Couples need to create boundaries and agree not to cross them in order to be true to themselves. Despite being in a relationship, you have your individuality, and you should not compromise that.

It is essential to set boundaries because much damage can be done to the relationship when those lines are crossed. Respecting boundaries involves respecting and trusting each other and deciding not to damage the relationship by doing something consciously that hurts your partner. 

Check out this video to learn more about setting boundaries in a relationship:

4. Be transparent

Transparency is one of the signs of an authentic person. Being true to yourself in a relationship goes a long way in maintaining a real connection.

Many people find it difficult to be transparent in relationships because they can’t bear the thought of having their partner know some secrets about them. Authentic relationships are built on transparency because both parties will be committed to sharing their feelings, ideas, and acts without hiding anything.

Being transparent with your spouse entails sharing things you usually feel embarrassed about when sharing them with anyone else. The truth is, you will be revealing your vulnerabilities, but you are establishing authenticity in the long run.

5. Learn and practice each other’s love expressions

According to Relationship Expert Gary Chapman’s book titled The Five Love Languages, there are five general ways whereby romantic spouses express love to each other. These five expressions are: 

• Physical touch
• Acts of service
• Quality time
• Words of affirmation
• Giving gifts

Having this knowledge helps you love them in the way they desire to be loved. On the other hand, deciding not to know your partner’s love expression might suggest that you are not intentional about being in a real relationship.

6. Don’t let your relationship be the sole source of your happiness

No one has to be pressured into allowing their relationship to be the only source of their happiness. Before the relationship, you derived your joy from various means. And even though you have to make some adjustments in the relationship, it is crucial not to lose your identity.

To develop authenticity, you have to balance your relationship and other aspects of your life. The truth is, your relationship should be one of the sources of your happiness and not the only source. By negating yourself repeatedly, resentment and contempt can start seeping into the dynamics with your partner.

When both partners retain their sense of identity, they don’t use manipulation to keep each other happy. When you work towards achieving your goals and cultivating your interest, you will find happiness in what you are doing, and it will benefit the relationship too.

7. Face the challenges instead of avoiding them

Challenges are inevitable, and the best way to prevail is by tackling them instead of avoiding them. In authentic relationships, challenges occur, and both partners can get past these problems because they understand each other inside out.

They reach a level of self-awareness and genuine intimacy that allows them to solve any problem that they are facing with ease. And they also realize that their relationship has become a valuable tool in aiding their personal growth.

8. Cherish every moment with your partner

To establish a genuine connection, you have to be conscious and strategic. It is important to spend ample time sharing your goals, ambitions, feelings, and thoughts with your partner. Quality time together can help your partner see the real you and have a better understanding of who you are.

Cherish such moments because they will prove to be defining moments for the relationship. In authentic relationships, both partners spend sufficient time having in-depth discussions that help them understand their partner more. In addition, they create time to have fun and relax because it makes them bond better.

9. Take responsibility for your actions

One of the examples of being authentic in your relationship is when you act responsibly.

Authentic relationships cannot last if you continue to blame your spouse for your wrong actions. Unfortunately, some people shy away from accepting their choices because they don’t want to live with their mistakes. So, they prefer to put the blame on someone else, thinking that it will benefit them.

If you continue to avoid responsibility instead of holding yourself accountable, you’re not developing authenticity, and the relationship might continue to suffer. It is essential to change your mindset and rise to the occasion by finding solutions and depending on your partner for support.

10. Value your relationship

It is necessary to mention that authentic relationships are a product of spouses who treasure their relationship and do everything possible to keep it working. Complacency breeds negativity and insecurity in any relationship, and therefore efforts should be made every day to avoid that.

Studies conducted on couples in long-term intimate relationships have clearly shown a direct correlation between authenticity in relationships and romantic attachment, along with caregiving to a partner.

You should be in a relationship for the right reasons because it determines the amount of value you place on it and on your partner. An authentic relationship provides the opportunity for you and your spouse to value each other despite the odds.

11. Embrace vulnerability

Embracing vulnerability means being brave enough to share your fears, insecurities, and dreams with your partner. It’s about letting down the walls we build to protect ourselves and allowing them to witness the depths of our souls. 

Building authentic relationships requires being vulnerable with one’s partner. Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness; rather, it is a testament to our strength and willingness to be seen and known.

Common questions

Authenticity in relationships is a powerful force that fuels deep connections and genuine love. However, it’s not always easy to maintain or understand its impact. Let’s explore some common challenges and the transformative benefits of authenticity in relationships.

• What are some challenges to maintaining authenticity in relationships?

Fear of judgment, societal pressures, and past hurts can hinder authenticity. It takes courage to be vulnerable and embrace our true selves, but the rewards are worth it.

• How can authenticity improve a relationship?

Authenticity enhances relationships by building trust, fostering open communication, and creating emotional intimacy. It allows partners to truly know and accept each other, leading to deeper understanding and connection.

Moving toward genuine relationships

Don’t lose sleep just because your relationship is not in an authentic space right now. Understanding how to work towards establishing a connection that is real and genuine can seem difficult. 

But if you and your partner are willing to put in the effort and follow the steps mentioned here, you too can get there.

Just start working on your partnership together and your relationship will get better.