15 Signs Telling That You Need Space in a Relationship

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One of the highlights of being in a relationship is having your partner by your side through thick and thin. However, has it ever occurred to you that you might need space in a relationship to figure some things out? 

When it comes to needing space in a relationship, it is often misinterpreted as taking a break from the relationship where you will become single again.

However, this is not what it means. In this article, we will explain the meaning of taking space in a relationship. Also, we will be looking at signs that tell you it’s time to request space from the relationship. 

In her book, Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship, Dr. Terri Orbuch mentioned the importance of having a working sex life. According to the research professor, a good sex life is less important than having ample space in a relationship.

What does it mean to have space in a relationship?

People usually ask- What does space in a relationship mean when their partners begin to demand it? If your partner tells you, “I need space,” you don’t have to panic, and neither do you need to start thinking that they are tired of you. 

So, what does space mean in a relationship?

In reality, wanting space in a relationship is not a bad thing because it is usually the turning point for a positive move in the relationship.

According to Karen Salmansohn, “little space, time, and distance can often be just what a relationship needs to bloom at its best.”

Getting space in a relationship means carving out time to put yourself first and doing everything for yourself. During this time, you will make decisions that make you feel great and put you in a better disposition to handle your relationship properly.

When you are thinking of taking space in a relationship, it is important to provide balance. During this period, be careful not to drift away from your partner because it would look like you’re blaming them for what’s not.

7 reasons why you need space in a relationship

It is important to mention that having space in a relationship is key to building it. Hence, when you need space in a relationship, or your partner does, it should be approached with understanding, and it shouldn’t affect your happy times as partners.

Dr. Marcus Benson, in his book, mentions the need for space management in keeping a relationship healthy and alive. He further mentions that relationships without basic knowledge of space management have been ruined.

Here are some reasons why you need space in a relationship:

1. To maintain your identity

Some people in a relationship have misplaced identities; they can’t remember who they were before they met their partners, and it could be disturbing. Hence, seeking space in a relationship is a good opportunity to reconnect with your true self.

Spending time apart allows each partner to maintain their individuality and pursue their personal interests. It’s essential for personal growth and self-discovery, helping individuals maintain a strong sense of self within the relationship.

2. For personal development

If you feel like you are lagging in some aspects of personal development, it is not a bad idea to want some space. 

This act means that you care about yourself and the relationship. When you take your personal development seriously, other people’s accomplishments, including your partner’s, will not intimidate you.

Christiana Njoku, in one of her podcast episodes on The Personal Development and Relationship Podcast, mentioned that 

Engaging in the journey of personal development is one sure way towards advancing your life in every sense of it and in doing so, it has a way of rubbing on your relationship.

3. To improve the relationship’s health

Spending time alone allows you to reconnect with your inner self and reflect on things you must have neglected. From time to time, couples and partners need space to avoid being obsessed with each other. It encourages independence in the relationship, and it makes companionship evergreen.

Just as Akashdeep Singh recognizes, “Sometimes relationships need some space, and giving it at the right time makes the relationship stronger.”      

4. Emotional and mental well-being

Space provides an opportunity for individuals to recharge and take care of their emotional and mental well-being. It allows time for reflection, introspection, and addressing personal needs, which ultimately enhances the overall health of the relationship.

5. Avoiding codependency

Space can help prevent the development of codependent patterns in a relationship. Codependency can occur when partners become overly reliant on each other for emotional validation, making it important to establish healthy boundaries and maintain a sense of independence.

6. Building anticipation and desire

Spending time apart can create a sense of longing and anticipation, which can enhance the excitement and desire within the relationship. Absence can make the heart grow fonder, and having space allows partners to appreciate each other’s presence more deeply.

7. Enhancing communication and problem-solving skills

Space can foster effective communication and problem-solving skills within the relationship. When partners have time to process their thoughts independently, they can come back together with a clearer perspective, enabling them to communicate more effectively and address challenges in a constructive manner.

15 obvious signs you need space in your relationship

When is it time that space is required in your relationship? If there are any of these 15 signs or most of them, it’s time to discuss it with your partner:

1. You always argue over the little things

One of the signs of little space needed in a relationship is constant arguments over things that don’t matter. 

Some of these things are not significant to your relationship, but they have a way of making you and your partner annoyed. When you notice this, it would be wise to request space in the relationship to figure out how to make adjustments.

2. You don’t do anything until your partner’s approval

If you constantly seek your partner’s approval before doing anything, you need some space. This type of relationship can become a controlling one because your partner will always insist on knowing your every move. 

If care isn’t taken, it can result in jealousy. To stop this, it is important to make some space by doing some things without anyone’s approval.

3. Their habits usually annoy you

One of the signs you need space in your relationship is if you are always annoyed by your partner’s habits. At this point, you need to take some space to reflect on the past. 

If you remember correctly, before your relationship began, you were probably blind to your partner’s faults because you loved wholeheartedly. 

However, after spending some time together, their habits annoy you. You need space in a relationship to see your partner in the same light that you saw them at the beginning.

4. You don’t enjoy your partner’s company in public

If you don’t feel pleased with the idea of your partner accompanying you to any public place, then you need some time off to yourself. 

The reason is you no longer cherish your partner’s presence like before, and you have gotten tired of them. If you keep denying that you don’t need space in your relationship, it could make matters worse.

5. You don’t like spending time with them

When every relationship begins, both partners do not like to leave each other’s side. However, as the relationship gets older, some partners start drifting apart, unaware of the cause. 

If you don’t enjoy your partner’s presence like before, it means the spark and passion that once existed in your relationship is no more. Hence, all you need to do is spend time alone to retrieve this lost spark and passion.

6. You feel stressed and drained in the relationship

If you are feeling stressed and drained in your relationship, it is not a good sign. Most times, people don’t understand why they feel this way with the person they love. And this is one of the reasons why conflicts become a constant feature in the relationship. 

A Licensed Professional Counselor and Relationship Coach, Christiana Njoku, identified getting drained in a relationship as a negative sign. According to her,

Being stressed and drained simply shows you are mostly being used in the relationship and if care is not taken, it can have a severe impact on you and your relationship. Hence, you need space to fix yourself. 

When you notice this sign, you need space within the relationship because you probably have been focusing on your partner. It is important to have a life outside your relationship.

7. You are beginning to lose your individuality

No matter the amount of time you spend with your partner, both of you cannot become the same person. This implies you will always have a separate mindset, wishes, viewpoints, and plans. 

All these and more make up your individuality, and this implies your life outside the relationship needs to be functional.

When it starts to feel like you are losing your individuality, it is because you have not given yourself sufficient space to own up to yourself. With this sign, you need to take the bold step of focusing on things in your life that have meaning to you.

8. You no longer feel connected to your partner

Have you noticed that your conversations with your partner have been boring? 

When you converse, you don’t feel the spark or interest that existed when the relationship started. In fact, if you also notice that saying “I love you” does not ignite any passion in you, then the connection is not there. You need to get some space to save your relationship.

9. No physical affection

When was the last time you had an intense romantic moment with your partner? 

These days, you don’t see the need to spend some time in your partner’s arms, and you use excuses like work, stress, etc., to avoid such moments. This is a caution sign that space is needed in the relationship.

10. You wish you were single

One of the strongest signs that show you need space in your relationship is when you start wishing you were single. 

When you are not happy with your relationship, you will wish you were single again. The cure to this is giving your partner space to live your life and figure out yourself.

11. Your partner changes their schedule

When you notice that your partner has created an adjustment in their schedule, it might be a subtle way of informing you that they need space. All you need to do is respect their decision and give them space. 

Use this opportunity to figure out how to make your relationship better. When your partner changes their schedule, it might be their subtle way of creating space and setting boundaries. 

12. Your partner doesn’t want you interfering with their hobbies

If you notice that your partner starts to guard their hobby’s jealousy, it means they don’t want to let you in. 

You don’t have to be pissed because they need space, but they have not found a way to tell you. To solve this, discuss with your partner, learn what they want, and respect their decision.

13. You are stressed

When you are stressed, one of the things you will genuinely crave is space. You will not want to have a hard time, and this works both ways if your partner is stressed too. 

One of the ways to let your partner realize this is by communicating with them and proffering ways with which they can help.

Watch this video to learn some signs of stress that you shouldn’t ignore:

14. Your partner replies with short answers

If you notice that your partner answers your questions with short bullet points, it is an indication that they need space. All you should do to help is create space so that they can figure it out themselves.

15. You don’t like telling your partner where you are going

If you intend to go anywhere and you see no need to tell your partner, it could be that you don’t find their opinions useful anymore. This is a warning flag that you have to be careful of. 

Take some space to figure out how to revive the vibes in your relationship.

How to communicate your need for space to your partner

To communicate your need for space to your partner, it’s essential to approach the conversation with honesty, clarity, and empathy. 

Choose a calm and comfortable setting to talk and express your feelings and needs in a non-confrontational manner. 

Clearly explain why you need space and emphasize that it is not a reflection of your feelings towards them. 

So, how to tell your partner you need space?

Assure them that this time apart is for personal growth and maintaining a healthy balance. 

Listen to their perspective and be open to finding a compromise that respects both partners’ needs. Regularly reassess and communicate your boundaries to ensure ongoing understanding and mutual respect.

Some commonly asked questions

Here are the answers to some pressing questions that may come to your mind regarding space in a relationship:

• Is needing space a normal part of a healthy relationship?

Yes, needing space is a normal and healthy part of a relationship. It allows individuals to maintain their sense of self, pursue personal interests, and take care of their emotional well-being. 

Is space good for a relationship? Yes, as it helps prevent codependency and allows for personal growth. It also enhances communication and problem-solving skills. However, the extent and frequency of space needed may vary among individuals and relationships. 

Effective communication and understanding each other’s boundaries are essential in finding a balance that works for both partners.

• Does needing space mean that there are problems in the relationship?

Needing or giving space in a relationship does not necessarily indicate problems. It can be a healthy and normal aspect of any partnership. 

The desire for space arises from the need for personal growth, maintaining individuality, and nurturing other aspects of life. It can actually strengthen a relationship by allowing partners to recharge, pursue personal interests, and maintain a healthy balance. 

When you need space in a relationship, open communication is key to understanding and respecting each other’s needs for space without assuming problems within the relationship.

Final thoughts

In conclusion, recognizing the signs that you need space in a relationship is crucial for the health and longevity of the partnership. 

Whether it’s for personal growth, maintaining individuality, or nurturing friendships and interests, having space allows for a balanced and fulfilling relationship. It’s not a sign of problems but rather a sign of self-awareness and the importance of maintaining a sense of self within the partnership. 

By openly communicating and respecting each other’s needs for space, you can create a stronger and more resilient bond built on trust, understanding, and personal growth.