How Important Are Common Interests in a Relationship

Listen to this article

Most people dream of having a partner who is also their best friend. They want to share hobbies, interests, thoughts, goals, and beliefs – but is this the best way to begin a relationship?

You’ve likely heard people say that opposites attract in the same way you’ve heard that common interests in a relationship are the backbone of a strong love.

So, which one is right?

Do opposites attract for a reason? And just how important are common interests in a relationship? Keep reading to find out.

How important are common interests in a relationship

All relationships are different, and they are shaped by their unique set of desires and expectations. It is for this reason that we can’t quantify how important common interests are in a relationship. 

Common interests can give couples a chance to enjoy and appreciate things together. However, the importance of common interests is usually determined by the equation that a couple shares and whether they need common interests to strengthen the bond that they share.

According to Grady Shumway, a licensed mental health counselor:

While common interests can enhance shared experiences and enhance connection in a relationship, their importance ultimately depends on the dynamics and compatibility of the couple involved.

For some, shared hobbies and activities may serve as a vital foundation for bonding and intimacy, while others may prioritize mutual values, communication, and emotional support.

What is the difference between common interests and compatibility?

Common interests usually refer to the interests in things, people, or activities that you have in common with your partner. It is assumed that partners who share common interests might get along better with each other as they can understand each other better. 

Compatibility, on the other hand, refers to the dynamic that a couple shares. It can exist with or without the couple sharing common interests with each other. 

But what about common interests vs compatibility? Which one matters more in a relationship?

Common interests can increase the compatibility between a couple, but there might be people who share common interests but are not compatible with each other. Ultimately, it is compatibility that matters, irrespective of the commonality between the couple.

5 types of common interests in a relationship

Now that we have explored theoretically what are common interests in a relationship, looking at the different types of common interest examples might further clarify things for you. 

We can divide common interests in relationship examples into five types, broadly speaking. These cover the general topics of interest that can bring couples closer due to their commonality. Here they are:

1. Hobbies

When thinking about common interests in a relationship, hobbies are the first thing that you can look at. Two people can bond over their specific interests in a particular activity or thing. 

For example, you and your partner can bond over art if you both are artistically inclined and pursue it to some degree. 

2. Intellectual pursuits

The things that you are interested in intellectually can be a way for you to bond with your partner. Whether it is reading books, watching documentaries, or keeping up with the news, intellectually align a couple and give the couple something to discuss constantly. 

3. Career pursuits

A career and one’s goals in relation to that can bring two people together. You and your partner can work towards your career goals simultaneously and support each other in achieving these goals. 

Furthermore, sometimes it is hard for couples with dissimilar career goals to understand each other. They may even get into conflicts because of it. But when the couple is aligned in relation to this, it can be gratifying and validating. 

4. Travel

Some people like to travel, while there are others who prefer staying at home. When a couple has their love of travel in common, it can give them something to bond over and plan together. 

If two people don’t agree on their travel preferences, it can become a cause for concern, as they may not understand each other’s natural inclinations. 

5. Food and fitness

What are some common interests couples can share?

Food and fitness are a big part of one’s life. Whether you are someone who loves food or is a fitness freak, it is nice to have a partner who understands your desires in this department. 

For example, two people who love to eat at the best places can bond over this and make plans together regarding this. But if one partner is a foodie and the other only likes going to the gym, they may face problems understanding each other. 

10 reasons why it is important to share common interests in a relationship

Having a lot in common with your spouse is a great starting point for building a strong relationship. But to truly understand how important are common interests in a relationship, we must assess the difference that they make in relationships. 

Here are some important reasons why finding hobbies to do as a couple will benefit your marriage:

1. They teach you about your partner

Shared interests can tell you a lot about your partner.

If you like skydiving, hiking, and being out on the water and your spouse shares your interests, then you automatically know they are an adventurer just like you.

If you and your spouse both play music and write songs, you’ve learned that your partner is a creative person who loves to think.

Even if you haven’t been together for very long, you already know plenty about your partner just by comparing common interests.

2. Common interests make your relationship more fun

When you say, “We have so much in common,” you are saying so much more about your relationship than you know.

Shared interests are a stepping stone to a fun and exciting partnership between best friends.

The Journal of Happiness Studies reports that couples are happier when they are best friends. The study suggests strong evidence that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who call each other their best friend.

Mental health counselor Grady Shumway says:

Having common interests adds an extra layer of enjoyment and excitement to your relationship, transforming it into a dynamic and fulfilling partnership. When you and your partner share activities and hobbies that you both love, it creates opportunities for laughter, adventure, and shared memories.

3. It helps build teamwork

When you meet people with similar interests, you start creating a sense of teamwork.

• If you’re both writers, you can put your brains together and come up with a great story.
• If you’re both musicians, you can write songs and perform side by side.
• If you love to hike and climb, you can set goals and dreams of trails and mountains you’d like to scale one day.
• If you both want to learn a language, you can support each other’s progress and celebrate your victories together.

Spending a lot of time together doing the things you love helps create a sense of togetherness and encourages couples to create shared goals.

4. You create relationship rituals

Having a lot in common means spending time doing things you love as a couple. Over time, you will begin to develop relationship rituals together.

These rituals become traditions that enhance emotional intimacy, build trust, and solidify your bond as a couple.

You will love being able to say, “We have so much in common!”

5. Creates a support system

When you have shared interests as a couple, you give each other a form of life support.

Having a lot in common encourages partners to build trust and communication skills. As you reach out for help and support for your hobbies, you teach yourself to rely on your partner in other areas of your life.

6. You won’t fight over important beliefs

Having a common interest in a relationship means that you and your partner aren’t going to fight over hot-button topics like religion and politics.

This is great because studies show couples who share religions are happier and are more likely to view their relationship as special. Research goes on to say that spouses treat their partners better when they regularly attend religious services together.

Even if you’re not religious, when you share common interests on important topics, you grow closer as a couple.

7. It keeps you involved in each other’s lives

Being able to say, “We have so much in common,” means you and your partner will have an endless list of things to do on date night.

This is important because date night has been proven to boost communication, enhance relationship excitement, and restore commitment.

Shared interests will keep you and your partner spending quality time together as romantic partners and friends.

8. Shared interests create deep bonds

Being able to say, “We have so much in common,” is the first step toward building a deep and meaningful relationship with your partner.

Research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that couples who spent time together both in date-night activities/hobbies experienced less stress and greater happiness in their lives.

When you have a lot in common with your partner or crush, you create deep and lasting bonds because your relationship isn’t superficial.

You share more than sexual chemistry and emotional intimacy. You are destined to become true best friends.

9. It helps you know whether you’ve found a good match

When you meet people with similar interests to yours, you already know that you’ve found a good match.

This is especially true if you are someone who could never see yourself dating someone who has different political or moral opinions than you do.

When you share common interests in a relationship, you can already see yourself falling in love with your partner because you have so many threads that connect you.

Watch this video to learn whether you have found the one:

10. Shared hobbies can increase happiness

Having a lot in common with your spouse helps promote marital satisfaction.

A study was undertaken where for 1.5 hours a week for ten weeks, married couples were assigned an activity that was described as either pleasant or exciting. It revealed that couples engaging in exciting shared interests reported higher levels of marital satisfaction than couples who were assigned pleasant activities.

Research results show that couples are happier when they share exciting hobbies together.

Can a relationship work if you have differences?

Some people may wonder, “If my partner doesn’t do things that interest me, how can our relationship work?” But shared interests aren’t everything in a relationship.

Here is a list of reasons why common interests in a relationship aren’t the be-all-end-all of romance.

• You learn to appreciate your differences

Think of all of the other amazing qualities your partner has. Are they kind? Honest? Adventurous? Protective? Playful? Trustworthy? Do they make you laugh?

Couples do not need to share common interests to make their relationship a success. Instead, show gratitude for all the things you love about your spouse.

• Sharing everything can feel smothering

Being able to say, “We have so much in common,” isn’t everything. Sometimes mutual interest in relationships can be overwhelming.

You and your spouse never do anything apart because you share all of the same hobbies.

When you have your own unique interests outside of shared interests, it allows you to branch out and do your own thing. This makes for a more balanced romantic experience.

• Take an interest in their hobbies

Dating someone with different interests doesn’t mean you and your spouse have a doomed romance.

Look at your ‘nothing in common relationship’ as a fun opportunity to broaden your hobby horizons.

Take a genuine interest in things that your partner loves.

Try new things together or take turns exploring each other’s hobbies. When you do, you may find you have more things in common than you thought.

• Learn how to compromise

Having a lot in common is nice because it means you’re usually on the same page about what to do with your Friday night, but having different opinions and hobbies can strengthen your relationship.

When you compromise on small things like what show to watch, you learn to compromise on bigger things in the future. This helps build teamwork and understanding in your relationship.

• Be open-minded

Shared interests are great, but opposites attract for a good reason.

Just because you don’t have the same hobbies doesn’t mean you don’t have a lot in common with your spouse.

Opposite tastes in music, entertainment, religion, and politics will help keep life interesting and encourage both partners to be open-minded and non-judgmental in the relationship.

As you see, there is so much more to time with your spouse than being able to say, “We have so much in common.”

Can you date someone with whom you have no common interests?

Yes, you can technically date someone with whom you have no common interests, but a lot would depend on your compatibility in that case. And you may have to make some additional efforts initially. 

You would both have to proceed with a high degree of openness towards the other person’s interests, as their interest may not make sense to you initially. But relationship counseling can make this process easier. 

Final thoughts 

Having shared interests is a great start to a healthy relationship. You and your partner can already say, “We have so much in common,” and build on your love from there.

When you have a lot in common with your spouse, you are sure to have a fun relationship. Having hobbies to do as a couple also creates a support system and a sense of teamwork in your love.

If you aren’t sure if you have common interests, you can always make a likes and dislikes list in a relationship and compare notes with your partner.

Common interests in a relationship are not the only thing that will strengthen your love.

By having different opinions and hobbies, you learn to appreciate each other’s differences, learn how to find things in common with your spouse, strengthen your ability to compromise and become more open-minded people.

Not having hobbies to do as a couple doesn’t mean the end of your relationship. Not by a long shot.