10 Characteristics of an Aromantic Person & Myths

Have you ever wondered if everyone experiences romance in the same way? What if someone simply doesn’t feel romantic attraction, even when they deeply care about others? This is the reality for an aromantic person—someone who does not develop romantic feelings in the way society expects. 

While romance is often seen as a fundamental part of relationships, not everyone connects with it in the same way. Unfortunately, aromanticism is widely misunderstood, leading to myths and challenges in relationships and social interactions.

In this article, we’ll explore what it means to be aromantic, key characteristics of an aromantic person, common misconceptions, how it differs from asexuality, the challenges they face, and how to navigate relationships with them. 

Understanding aromanticism fosters inclusivity and deeper connections based on mutual respect.

Who is an aromantic person?

An aromantic person experiences little to no romantic attraction. This doesn’t mean they lack other forms of love or connection. They may deeply value platonic friendships, familial bonds, or other non-romantic relationships. 

Aromanticism exists on a spectrum; some may experience occasional romantic attraction, while others never do. It’s distinct from asexuality, which relates to sexual attraction.

According to Jennifer Jacobsen Schulz, LCSW:

Being aromantic doesn’t mean a person doesn’t value committed relationships: it simply means they aren’t particularly interested in the intensity and passion typically associated with a love relationship.

Aromantic individuals have diverse experiences and identities, and their relationships are valid and fulfilling, even without romance. Understanding and respecting their experiences is crucial.

10 characteristics of an aromantic person

Aromanticism is often misunderstood, as society places a strong emphasis on romantic love. However, an aromantic person experiences attraction and relationships differently. While they may form deep bonds, romance is not a driving factor in their connections. 

Below are key characteristics of an aromantic person, along with examples to illustrate how these traits manifest in real life.

1. Lack of romantic attraction

The most defining characteristic of an aromantic person is that they do not experience romantic attraction. While they may feel deep emotional connections, they don’t develop romantic feelings for others the way most people do.

• Example: Alex has many close friendships and enjoys spending time with loved ones but has never experienced a romantic crush or felt the urge to pursue a romantic relationship.

2. Preference for platonic relationships

Aromantic individuals often value friendships, familial bonds, and other forms of companionship more than romantic relationships. For many, these connections are just as—if not more—meaningful than romantic partnerships.

• Example: Jamie feels a strong sense of love and loyalty toward their best friend, preferring to spend time with them rather than seeking out romantic relationships. They feel most fulfilled in a deep platonic relationship.

3. Comfort in being single

Since they don’t feel a strong need for romantic relationships, many aromantic people are perfectly happy being single. They may not seek out dating or long-term romantic commitments.

• Example: Sarah enjoys her independence and has never felt the need to find a romantic partner. While her friends actively date, she focuses on personal growth, friendships, and hobbies.

4. Unconventional views on love

Because they don’t experience romance in the typical way, aromantic individuals often have unique perspectives on love. They may believe that love doesn’t need to be romantic to be meaningful and that strong relationships can exist outside of traditional romantic dynamics.

• Example: David believes love is about deep emotional connections rather than romantic attraction. He expresses love through loyalty and support, rather than through dating or romantic gestures.

5. Difficulty relating to romantic norms

Aromantic people might find it hard to understand or relate to societal expectations surrounding romance. They may feel confused by love songs, romantic movies, or the way others describe being “in love.”

• Example: When Emma’s friends talk about their romantic crushes, she finds it hard to relate. She doesn’t understand the excitement they feel about dating and often feels out of place in these conversations.

6. Disinterest or discomfort with romantic gestures

Many aromantic individuals feel indifferent or uncomfortable with typical romantic behaviors, such as flirting, giving or receiving love letters, going on romantic dates, or celebrating anniversaries.

• Example: Ryan appreciates his friends but feels uneasy when someone flirts with him. He prefers straightforward conversations and gestures of friendship over traditional romantic expressions.

7. Clear separation between love and romance

Aromantic people can still deeply love others, but their love is not tied to romantic attraction. They may show their affection through loyalty, support, shared experiences, or acts of kindness rather than through romantic expressions.

• Example: Olivia shows her love by being there for her family and friends, helping them through tough times. She never feels romantic attraction but expresses love through her actions and presence.

8. Possible experience of romantic attraction under specific conditions

While some aromantic individuals never experience romantic attraction, others do under rare or specific circumstances. For example, gray-romantic people may feel romantic attraction infrequently, and demiromantic individuals only experience it after forming a strong emotional bond.

• Example: Marcus identifies as demiromantic. He usually doesn’t experience romantic attraction, but after years of friendship with someone, he found himself developing romantic feelings for the first time.

9. Strong emotional bonds without romantic expectations

Aromantic people often form deep, meaningful relationships, but these relationships do not follow typical romantic patterns. They may have lifelong friendships or strong partnerships without the need for romantic elements.

• Example: Sam and Chris have been best friends for over a decade. They live together, support each other, and share their lives, but their bond is purely platonic, with no romantic expectations.

10. Awareness of being different from an early age

Many aromantic individuals realize from a young age that they don’t feel the same way about romance as their peers. While others develop crushes or dream about romantic relationships, they may struggle to relate to these experiences.

• Example: As a teenager, Mia noticed that while her friends fantasized about dating and romance, she never felt the same way. She assumed she would develop romantic attraction later in life, but it never happened.

Common myths about aromantic people 

Aromantic people often face misconceptions because romantic attraction is considered a universal human experience. 

Many assume that everyone desires romantic love, leading to misunderstandings about what it means to be aromantic. These myths can invalidate aromantic identities and create unnecessary social pressure. 

By addressing these misconceptions, we can foster a more accepting and inclusive perspective on different forms of love and relationships. Here are some common myths:

Myth #1: Aromantic people are incapable of love.

• Truth: Aromantic individuals can deeply love their friends, family, and even partners. Their love is just not romantic in nature.

Myth #2: Aromantic people are cold or emotionless.

• Truth: Aromantic people experience a full range of emotions and can form strong emotional bonds. They simply don’t experience romantic attraction.

Myth #3: Aromanticism is the same as asexuality.

• Truth: While some aromantic people are also asexual, others may still experience sexual attraction. Aromanticism refers to a lack of romantic attraction, whereas asexuality refers to a lack of sexual attraction.

Myth #4: Aromanticism is just a phase or a result of trauma.

• Truth: Aromanticism is a valid identity, not something that needs to be “fixed” or explained by past experiences. It is not temporary or caused by emotional damage.

Myth #5: Aromantic people cannot have fulfilling relationships.

• Truth: Many aromantic people build strong, meaningful relationships, whether through friendships, family bonds, or partnerships that don’t follow traditional romantic expectations.

Myth #6: Aromantic people are just afraid of commitment.

• Truth: Being aromantic has nothing to do with fear of commitment. Many aromantic individuals are in committed partnerships, just without romantic attraction.

Myth #7: Aromantic people just haven’t met the right person yet.

• Truth: Aromanticism is not about a lack of opportunity; it’s about not experiencing romantic attraction, regardless of who they meet.

Difference between aromanticism and asexuality

Aromanticism and asexuality are distinct but sometimes overlapping identities that relate to different aspects of human attraction. 

While aromanticism refers to the absence or minimal experience of romantic attraction, asexuality refers to the absence or minimal experience of sexual attraction. A person can be aromantic but not asexual, asexual but not aromantic, both, or neither. 

Understanding these differences can help foster inclusivity and respectful relationships. The table below provides a detailed comparison.

7 challenges that aromantic people face in relationships

Romantic relationships are often seen as a key part of life, but for an aromantic person, navigating relationships can be complex. Society expects romance to be universal, which creates unique struggles for those who don’t experience romantic attraction. 

Understanding these challenges can help foster better communication, inclusivity, and respect in both romantic and platonic relationships.

1. Social pressure to be in a romantic relationship

Society often treats romance as a life goal, making aromantic individuals feel pressured to seek romantic relationships even when they don’t desire them. Family, friends, and media reinforce the idea that romantic love is essential, leading to feelings of alienation or the need to conform.

• How to handle: Set personal boundaries and surround yourself with people who respect your identity. Educate others about aromanticism to challenge societal assumptions.

2. Difficulty in explaining aromanticism

Many people are unfamiliar with aromanticism, making it challenging for aromantic individuals to explain their identity. Others might misunderstand, dismiss, or invalidate their experiences, assuming they just “haven’t met the right person.” This can result in frustration, repeated explanations, or being pressured into relationships they don’t genuinely want.

• How to handle: Prepare a simple explanation of your identity and be selective about whom you engage with on the topic. Seek out aromantic communities for support.

3. Relationship expectations

Traditional relationships often include romantic gestures like love confessions, date nights, and affectionate words. Aromantic people may not naturally engage in these behaviors, which can lead to misunderstandings with romantic partners. A lack of shared romantic feelings might make partners feel unfulfilled or question the strength of the relationship.

• How to handle: Communicate openly with partners about expectations and find alternative ways to express affection that work for both of you.

4. Friendships being overlooked

Aromantic people often prioritize friendships, but society tends to place romantic relationships above platonic ones. This can lead to friends drifting away when they enter romantic relationships, leaving aromantic individuals feeling abandoned. The lack of recognition for deep friendships can make it harder for them to form lifelong, committed connections.

• How to handle: Strengthen friendships by discussing their importance with your friends. Seek out people who also value platonic relationships as deeply as you do.

5. Media representation issues

Most books, movies, and TV shows center around romantic love, reinforcing the idea that romance is a universal desire. This lack of representation can make aromantic people feel invisible or misunderstood. It also creates unrealistic expectations from others who assume that everyone should eventually seek out romantic relationships.

• How to handle: Support media that includes diverse relationships and share aromantic-friendly stories with others to increase awareness.

6. Fear of losing close connections

Aromantic individuals may fear losing important relationships because others expect romance to develop. 

If a friend or partner misinterprets their affection as romantic interest, it can lead to heartbreak or distancing. This fear can make it difficult for aromantic people to navigate deep emotional connections without creating confusion.

• How to handle: Set clear boundaries and communicate your feelings honestly. If misunderstandings occur, reassure the other person about your commitment to the relationship.

7. Navigating dating and commitment

Some aromantic people still desire long-term companionship but struggle to find partners who share or respect their perspectives. 

Many dating norms are built around romance, making it challenging to establish relationships that focus on companionship rather than traditional romantic dynamics. Finding like-minded individuals requires extra effort and open conversations.

• How to handle: Explore relationship styles such as queerplatonic partnerships. If you want a committed relationship, discuss expectations with potential partners early on.

7 tips if you are in love with an aromantic person

Falling for someone who doesn’t experience romantic attraction can be challenging, especially if you are used to traditional relationship expectations. An aromantic person may not express love in the way you expect, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care deeply. 

Understanding why are people aromantic and how they experience relationships can help you navigate your feelings while respecting theirs. Below are key tips to help you build a strong, fulfilling connection with an aromantic partner.

1. Respect their identity

Understand that an aromantic person does not experience romantic attraction, and that’s a fundamental part of who they are. Trying to change them or expecting them to develop romantic feelings over time can lead to frustration and hurt. Accepting their identity is the first step toward a healthy relationship.

• Actionable tip: Instead of expecting romance, focus on the unique ways your partner expresses love and appreciate those instead of trying to fit them into a romantic framework.

2. Communicate openly

Honest and clear communication is key. Discuss what each of you want from the relationship, including emotional expectations and boundaries. Some aromantic people may be open to certain romantic gestures, while others may not. Having open discussions ensures that both partners feel understood and respected.

• Actionable tip: Have an open conversation early on about what love and commitment mean to both of you to ensure compatibility in the relationship.

3. Don’t take it personally

Their lack of romantic attraction is not a reflection of your worth or desirability. It’s simply how they are wired. Avoid feeling rejected or thinking that you need to “prove” yourself to make them fall in love with you romantically—it’s not about you, it’s about their nature.

• Actionable tip: Remind yourself that love comes in different forms, and their feelings for you are valid even if they don’t express them romantically.

Jennifer Schulz highlights that:

An aromantic individual’s lack of romantic desire has nothing to do with their partner; it is simply how they identify and perceive relationships.

4. Appreciate non-romantic love

Aromantic people can love deeply, but their love may come in forms like companionship, loyalty, and deep emotional bonds rather than romance. Recognizing and valuing these forms of love will help strengthen your relationship and allow you to connect in meaningful ways that are fulfilling for both of you.

• Actionable tip: Find alternative ways to bond, such as shared hobbies, deep conversations, or quality time together, instead of focusing solely on romantic expressions.

5. Reevaluate your own needs

Ask yourself what you truly need from a relationship. If romance is essential for your happiness, an aromantic partner may not be the right fit for you. However, if you value deep emotional connections and companionship over romance, your relationship can be just as fulfilling and meaningful.

• Actionable tip: Take time to reflect on your emotional needs and whether a relationship with an aromantic person aligns with your long-term happiness.

6. Learn more about aromanticism

Educating yourself about aromanticism will help you understand your partner better. Read about the aromantic spectrum, personal experiences, and common misconceptions. Learning from reliable sources and real-life stories can provide valuable insights into how they experience love and relationships.

• Actionable tip: Read books, watch videos, or follow blogs by aromantic individuals to gain a firsthand perspective on their experiences.

7. Be willing to compromise

Relationships require mutual understanding and compromise. If certain romantic gestures are important to you, discuss them openly. Some aromantic people may be comfortable with occasional romantic expressions, while others may not. 

Finding a middle ground that respects both of your needs can help maintain a balanced and fulfilling relationship.

• Actionable tip: Talk to your partner about small ways you can meet each other’s emotional needs without making either of you feel uncomfortable or pressured.

To learn more about why it’s okay to compromise in love, watch this video:

FAQs

Aromanticism is often misunderstood, leading to many questions about how aromantic people experience relationships and love. While they may not feel romantic attraction, they can still have meaningful connections. 

Below are answers to some frequently asked questions about aromantic individuals and their experiences.

• Name some famous people who are aromantic

While aromanticism is not always widely discussed, some public figures have identified as aromantic or are speculated to be. Notable individuals include activist and writer Yasmin Benoit, who openly speaks about being aromantic and asexual. 

Additionally, some historical figures, like Nikola Tesla, are often considered aromantic based on their lack of romantic relationships.

• How can aromantic people get into relationships?

Aromantic people can form relationships based on mutual understanding, communication, and shared values. Many choose queerplatonic relationships, which prioritize deep emotional bonds without romantic expectations. 

By clearly defining their boundaries and desires, aromantic individuals can build meaningful partnerships that align with their identity while ensuring both partners feel respected and fulfilled.

• Can aromantic people date?

Yes, aromantic people can date if they choose to, but their approach may differ from conventional romantic relationships. Some may prefer relationships without traditional romantic elements, while others may engage in dating for companionship. 

Open communication about expectations, boundaries, and emotional needs is essential to ensure a fulfilling and respectful connection.

• Does aromantic include platonic love?

Yes, aromanticism does not mean a lack of love—many aromantic individuals deeply value platonic love. They often form strong friendships, familial bonds, and other meaningful non-romantic connections. Platonic love can be just as fulfilling as romantic love and is a significant part of many aromantic people’s emotional lives and relationships.

Conclusion

As awareness of diverse identities grows, the future holds more inclusivity for everyone, including aromantic individuals. Society is gradually recognizing that love and relationships come in many forms, and an aromantic person deserves the same understanding and respect as anyone else. 

By challenging misconceptions and fostering open conversations, we can create a world where romance is not the only valued form of connection.

If you are aromantic, embrace your identity and seek relationships—platonic or otherwise—that bring you fulfillment. 

If you love or care about an aromantic person, respect their boundaries and appreciate the deep, meaningful bonds they offer. The key to any strong relationship is understanding, and by broadening our perspectives, we can build a more accepting and supportive world for all.

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