Am I Emotionally Unavailable Quiz

Erin McCole Cupp
Verified Marriage & Family Therapist Reviewed By
Erin McCole Cupp, LPCC
Erin McCole Cupp
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor
Verified Marriage & Family Therapist Review Board Member

Erin McCole Cupp, CTRC, brings a unique blend of trauma recovery coaching and extensive experience in addiction recovery, particularly in the areas of compulsive eating and... Read More

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20 Questions | Total Attempts: 42883 | Updated: Jul 10, 2025
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Am I Emotionally Unavailable Quiz

Are you ever accused of being afraid of commitment or intimacy? Do you have a hard time or feel highly uncomfortable sharing your feelings with others? Have you been unable to sustain emotional bonds in your relationships? Do you often ask yourself,” Am I emotionally unavailable?”

Although you may have answered yes to some or all of these questions, it is much more difficult to tell if you are actually emotionally unavailable and even harder to come to terms with this if you indeed are.

Being emotionally unavailable usually stems from vulnerable experiences that are not comfortable for you to work through or even think about. Still, it may be necessary if you hope to overcome it.

To find out if you aren’t connecting emotionally with others, take this quiz today!

Questions Excerpt

1. Do you often feel misunderstood?

A. All the time

B. Often

C. Rarely

D. Hardly ever

2. What do you think makes emotional intimacy possible?

A. I’m not sure—I’ve never really felt it

B. Safety and time with someone trustworthy

C. Reassurance and consistent effort from both sides

D. Vulnerability, honesty, and shared growth

3. How do you behave in the early stages of dating?

A. I feel detached and keep conversations shallow

B. I stay reserved and avoid oversharing

C. I engage but constantly question their motives

D. I enjoy the process and stay open to connection

4. When someone you care about disappoints you, what’s your first instinct?

A. I shut down emotionally and pull away

B. I build a wall and take time before trusting again

C. I confront them but stay guarded afterward

D. I try to understand, communicate, and work through it

5. What’s your usual reaction when you start liking someone?

A. I try to ignore it or distance myself

B. I wait and observe for a long time before expressing interest

C. I hesitate because I fear being hurt or let down

D. I follow my feelings and give things a chance

6. How do you typically feel when someone shows you affection or compliments you?

A. I get uncomfortable and often question their intentions

B. I feel awkward and downplay the compliment

C. I enjoy it but sometimes wonder if it’s sincere

D. I appreciate it and respond warmly

7. How do you feel about making yourself vulnerable in relationships?

A. I don't like it and avoid opening up

B. I open up slowly when I feel safe

C. I find it hard to trust people, so I avoid vulnerability

D. I believe vulnerability is important for emotional connection

8. How do you cope after a breakup?

A. I shut down and isolate myself

B. I try to distract myself, but it takes time to move on

C. I question my ability to trust anyone again

D. I give myself time to heal and reflect

9. How do you feel about showing affection in public?

A. I feel uncomfortable and avoid it

B. I'm hesitant because I don't want people to get embarrassed

C. I'm okay with small gestures but nothing too much

D. I'm fine with showing affection as long as my partner is comfortable, too

10. How do you handle conflicts in relationships?

A. I avoid confrontation at all costs

B. I tend to withdraw because I don't trust my partner to listen

C. I try to keep calm and solve the issue diplomatically

D. I try to discuss things openly to resolve the conflict

11. Are you a person who wears your heart on your sleeve or keeps your emotions bottled up inside?

A. I definitely keep my emotions bottled up because I don’t like expressing my feelings and emotions to others

B. I usually keep them bottled up because I don’t trust people to share those intimate thoughts and feelings with them

C. I am careful about sharing my emotions, but I wouldn't say I keep them bottled up

D. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve

12. Do you get uncomfortable when someone you are dating tries to engage in a deeper conversation about your feelings and emotions?

A. Yes, every time

B. Frequently

C. Sometimes, but not always

D. Rarely

13. Have you been accused of not picking up on other people’s emotions or not knowing how to react when someone is opening up emotionally to you?

A. Yes, frequently

B. Sometimes

C. Rarely

D. No, never

14. What situation would you rather have?

A. Have a crush on someone you can’t have or who is unavailable

B. Spend a lot of time getting to know someone before opening up

C. Someone who I have almost constant contact with right from the beginning

D. Dating different people until I find someone who sparks my interest

15. How do you react when people push you to open up and be vulnerable with your emotions?

A. Usually, I shut down and get very uncomfortable

B. I get anxious because I have a hard time trusting people

C. I will open up more if I feel comfortable doing it

D. I will try to be more mindful of that and more open, so I don’t push them away

16. How would you prefer to communicate with a potential partner?

A. Social media

B. Through texts

C. On the phone

D. In-person

17. What type of person are you drawn to most of the time?

A. I find myself drawn to emotionally complex or unavailable individuals

B. I usually go after someone who I can’t trust

C. I usually go after someone who has exactly what I am looking for

D. I usually go after whoever I feel a genuine connection with and am naturally drawn to

18. Do you tend to be the type of person to look for the good or bad in other people more often?

A. I always tend to find flaws in people

B. I always tend to find reasons not to trust people, even if they gave me no reason to feel that way

C. I try to look for the good, but sometimes I can be picky

D. I tend to look for the good in people, maybe to a fault

19. What is something you would most likely do when searching for a potential partner?

A. Find someone who is already in a relationship or unavailable

B. Have a hard time finding someone because I am very picky and critical

C. Find someone who I know I can’t trust from the start, but then date them anyway

D. Go on a few dates until I meet someone worth going out with again

20. How would you rate your self-esteem?

A. I struggle with my self-esteem; it is definitely low

B. It is probably on the lower side as I am very hard on myself

C. I think I have pretty good self-esteem most of the time, but not always

D. I think I have pretty good self-esteem


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