15 Ways to Deal With Being a Woman in a Sexless Marriage

There are more women in sexless marriages than you might think.

When you think of a woman in a sexless marriage, you probably imagine someone who hasn’t been intimate with their partner in years. Marriage is considered sexless when a couple has sex less than once a month and up to 10 times a year.

Do sexless marriages work? It depends on the person, as the answer to what makes a healthy sex life is not universal.

Some women are pleased to live without physical intimacy, while others are desperately seeking sexless marriage advice for women. If you are reading this article, odds are you feel hurt by the lack of physical and emotional intimacy in your marriage.

Related Reading: Sexless Marriage: Reasons, Effects & Tips To Deal With It

Reasons for sexless marriage

To learn how to deal with a sexless marriage as a woman, it can be helpful to know why you’re in a sexless marriage in the first place.

Reasons for women in sexless marriages occurring include, but are not limited to:

• · Hormonal issues
• · A past emotional or physical trauma
• · Difference in desires
• · No emotional connection
• · An affair
• · Poor communication
• · A mental or physical disability
• · Pregnancy or childbirth
• · Aging

The good news is, many (if not all) of these reasons are fixable, with a bit of time and effort. But for the marriage to be a success, both partners must be willing to put in the work.

Do sexless marriages survive?

As we’ve discussed, living a sexless life can be challenging. Just search ‘sexless marriage effect on wife,’ and you’ll see dozens of reasons why withholding intimacy from your partner can be devastating to a marriage.

If you’re at your wit’s end, you might be wondering: Do sexless marriages work?

They can, but only if you’re willing to either put in the effort to fix things or comfortably accept that sex will no longer be a part of your marriage.

Can a woman live in a sexless marriage?

Yes, a woman can live in a sexless marriage, but that doesn’t mean she’ll be happy doing so.

If you are a woman in a sexless marriage, your relationship doesn’t have to be over. If you and your husband work through your differences, there very well may be intimacy at the end of your journey.

Until then, focus on the reasons for sexless marriage and follow the above tips on how to deal with a sexless marriage as a woman.

How does a sexless marriage affect a woman?

For some women in sexless marriages, a lack of physical intimacy may be a welcome change. But I’m guessing if you’ve sought out an article on the subject, you are not one of these women.

The truth is, there are plenty of adverse sexless marriage effects on women. Such effects include:

• · Feeling a loss of emotional intimacy/connection/friendship to her partner
• · Low self-esteem
• · Lack of pleasure and stress relief in her life
• · Feeling self-conscious about how desirable she is/about her body
• · Arguing and blaming one another for marital issues
• · Feeling trapped in the marriage

According to Psychologist Mert Şeker: 

Sexless marriages, in which sexual activity is absent or limited, can have significant effects on women’s psychological health. Such marriages can negatively affect women’s self-esteem while damaging their emotional satisfaction. For many women, sexuality is seen as a way to establish emotional connection and deepen their relationships.

Another sexless marriage effect on a wife is a wandering eye, which can tear her marriage or family apart.

Also Try: Are You in a Sexless Marriage Quiz

15 Tips for how to deal with a sexless marriage as a woman

It’s challenging to deal with a sexless marriage as a woman but here are some tips that will help you through it.

1. Communicate your needs

Don’t let the sexless marriage effect on the wife continue for longer than it has to.

One tip for how to deal with a sexless marriage as a woman is to talk to your partner.

Communication is the key to a healthy marriage, especially when communicating about sex.

Research shows that sexual communication is directly related to more extraordinary romantic and sexual satisfaction.

Related Reading: The Importance Of Communication In Marriage

2. Initiate more often

Another great suggestion for a woman in a sexless marriage is to take the lead in initiating physical intimacy.

Your partner may not hold back because they aren’t interested in sex, but because they don’t think YOU are interested in it.

You’ll show your partner it’s okay to go for it by initiating intimacy.

Watch this insightful video to learn how to initiate more sex:

3. Find different ways to be physical

How should you deal with a sexless marriage effect on the wife when both you and your spouse want to have sex but can’t?

One tip on how to deal with a sexless marriage as a woman is to find other ways to be physically intimate.

If your partner is dealing with a physical ailment, sickness, or other circumstance that prevents them from having intercourse, find other ways to draw close.

There are, of course, many creative ways to achieve orgasm as a couple without having intercourse, but don’t forget there are other physical outlets as well, such as cuddling, holding hands, and kissing.

Psychologist Mert Şeker suggests:

In sexless marriages, alternative ways of physical contact can contribute to maintaining the emotional bond between couples and keeping the relationship alive. At the same time, activities such as a romantic weekend getaway, creating special daily moments, sharing emotional needs, and engaging in activities together can strengthen the emotional and physical bond.

Such acts will boost the love hormone oxytocin and bring you and your spouse closer together.

4. Find new ways to be emotionally intimate

Part of why sex is so great for a relationship has little to do with physical pleasure and plenty to do with emotional intimacy.

As brought out above, sexual intimacy brings forth emotional intimacy, which cements your bond as a couple. Without emotional intimacy, your relationship will suffer.

Don’t let being a woman in a sexless marriage rob you of emotional intimacy. Find new ways to connect by staying curious about each other, giving compliments, and showing vulnerability.

Related Reading: Emotional Intimacy vs Physical Intimacy: Why We Need Both

5. Understand why you’re a woman in a sexless marriage

One of the biggest tips for how to deal with a sexless marriage as a woman is to get to the bottom of why you are in this situation, to begin with. Only then will you resolve the issue and do away with the awful sexless marriage effect on the wife.

Related Reading: 5 Common Reasons for a Sexless Marriage

6. Go to couples therapy

As a woman in a sexless marriage, you can take a positive step forward by going to couples therapy or sex therapy with your spouse. A therapist can help you discover the reasons for sexless marriage circumstances and guide you and your partner toward healing.

Psychologist Mert Şeker determined that:

Couples therapy helps couples understand the underlying causes of their sexual problems and develop a healthier sexual relationship by addressing these problems. At the same time, the therapy process allows couples to strengthen their emotional bonds, improve communication skills, and learn conflict resolution strategies.

7. Have a regular date night

One tip for how to deal with a sexless marriage as a woman is to have a regular date night.

Extensive research done by the National Marriage Project reveals that having a regular date night increases the romantic love that is often linked to excitement and passion.

This is part of why couples often experience higher levels of sexual satisfaction when planning regular date nights together.

Related Reading: The Importance of Date Night in a Marriage and Tips to Make It Happen

8. Find other ways to spend your time

If you’ve been searching for a ‘sexless marriage effect on wife’ and relate to what you find, you may be left feeling frustrated.

For women in sexless marriages, it’s important not to dwell on your circumstance so much that it starts to take over your life.

Find other ways to spend your time. Do things that fill you up instead of tearing you down.

9. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable

One tip for how to deal with a sexless marriage as a woman is to be vulnerable with your spouse. 

As a woman in a sexless marriage, you can bridge the gap by being completely vulnerable in and outside the bedroom.

10. Work on solving trust issues

Do sexless marriages work? Living a sexless life is more fulfilling when you have a trusted partner.

If you and your spouse have experienced a break-in trust (such as an affair or breach of personal information), it may be holding you back from having a fulfilling sex life together.

Related Reading: 8 Signs You Have Trust Issues and Effective Ways to Tackle Them

11. Confide in someone

A woman in a sexless marriage shouldn’t have to suffer alone.

Studies show that support from a trusted friend can significantly lower psychological distress when you’re going through a hard time.

Women in sexless marriages should confide in a close friend about how they’re feeling. This can relieve some of the burdens you’re carrying.

12. Explain how a sexless marriage affects a woman

So you’ve discovered the reasons for sexless marriage, and yet your spouse doesn’t seem to be taking steps to remedy things.

Take the time to explain to your partner how a sexless marriage affects a woman and help him empathize with what the lack of intimacy is doing to you.

Related Reading: 7 Damaging Emotional Effects of Sexless Marriage on a Relationship

13. Take the pressure off

Do sexless marriages work? They can, especially if you aren’t making your sex life a constant topic of discussion.

Sometimes the best way to learn how to deal with a sexless marriage as a woman is by taking the pressure off.

Instead of getting upset or demanding intimacy, tell your husband you want to kiss or cuddle. Take sex off the table and see where things go. This will help you get back to enjoying each other.

14. Make sex a priority

One of the more straightforward reasons for sexless marriage has nothing to do with disinterest and everything to do with lousy scheduling.

Take two adults with full-time jobs and social responsibilities, and throw in a couple of kids to raise, and you may end up with a poor sex life.

Instead of letting the weeks continue passing without being intimate, make sex a priority. Put it on your calendar if you have to. Just make sure it’s getting its time slot.

Psychologist Mert Şeker says:

Taoist sex can be considered an approach that can have positive effects in sexless marriages. This philosophical approach views sexuality not only as a physical act but also as an expression of an emotional bond. Therefore, taoist sex can help couples develop a deeper connection with each other and make their sexual experiences more meaningful.

15. Take an honest look at your future

A sexless marriage effect on a wife is not easy to live with. It can be consuming, hurtful, and frustrating.

Are you committed to your relationship, even if it means living a sexless life?

Take a look at your future as a woman in a sexless marriage.

If you can honestly see yourself living happily with a man who cannot or will not be physically intimate with you, then live your best life. You share an incredible connection with an exceptional person that is not worth giving up, and that is amazing.

But, if you can’t picture staying as one of many women in sexless marriages, you need to take action with your spouse to fix the problem or face a tough decision.

Related Reading: How to Have More Sex in Marriage-Keeping Your Married Sex Life Healthy

Signs it’s time to walk away from a sexless marriage

If you are a woman in a sexless marriage who has tried everything, you may be wondering if it’s time to throw in the towel.

Nobody wants to admit defeat, but some signs should make it glaringly obvious that your marriage is on the rocks.

Gaslighting you or not caring about a sexless marriage effect on your wife are warning signs that your marriage is sinking – and there are likely more significant issues afoot than your sex life.

If your partner is unwilling to work on your issues and is content to leave you emotionally and physically distraught, it may be time to separate.

Read When to Walk Away from a Sexless Marriage for more insight into whether you should keep fighting for your sexless marriage.

Related Reading: When to Walk Away From a Sexless Marriage

Conclusion

Women in sexless marriages have some big decisions to make. Either stay and try to fix the marriage through therapy and build emotional intimacy or leave to pursue a life that will make her happy.

Whatever path you choose, make sure you are doing it for yourself.