Beyond the Desperation: Can my Marriage be Saved?

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Rachael Pace, Author

Rachael Pace

Expertise: Mental health, Parenting

Rachael Pace inspires with motivational articles on loving partnerships. She encourages making room for love and facing challenges together.

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Updated: 23 Oct, 2022

Table of Contents

Both partners' investment matters even when tough—when both are willing to fight for the relationship, you can rebuild trust by sharing feelings for just 10 minutes a day.
Communicate with compassion and compromise Practice active listening, express emotions, and meet halfway to create a safer space where you both feel seen.
Seek help when needed A counselor or trusted workshop can offer new perspectives, while personal self-care keeps you grounded and ready to reconnect with your partner.

When deeply enthralled in the throes of a contemptuous separation, many partners ask, “Can my marriage be saved?” or “How can I save my marriage”. The corollary to this important question is a related one, “Is it worth saving?

When your marriage is on the rocks, you are more inclined to directing your attention towards the signs that indicate it is over. However, have you taken into consideration all the intimations that suggest that you still might have a chance.

Marriage is a long journey and you need to pace yourself, it requires a lot of hard work and you rarely see the outcome of your efforts on the same day. It’s like a marathon, wherein you need to keep moving steadily to reach the finish line.

As mentioned earlier knowing how to save your marriage? or how to fix a broken marriage? starts with knowing if the marriage is worth saving.

Here are some ways you can identify how to save a marriage on the brink of divorce?, how to save a marriage when only one is trying? or how to save a failing marriage?

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Take the first step

Partners wrestling with the vitality of their relationship should always begin by looking at how they phrase the pertinent questions. “Can I save my marriage” implies that only one of the two partners is truly invested in stoking rebirth and new life into the conversation.

If the question of the day is “Can our marriage be saved?” we can assume that the use of the plural possessive pronoun implies that both partners have at least a fleeting interest in working toward the resolution of issues that contributed to the duress.

Most troubled relationships have a partner who wants to save the relationship, while in others both of them want a way out. Love can always be renewed in a marriage when either of the spouses are willing to fight to save your marriage.

For a marriage to thrive you need to nurture it by investing ample amounts of energy and effort in it. Emotionally connecting with your spouse daily, even for only 10 minutes can be the difference between a happy and a broken marriage.

The two Cs to repair a marriage

Even though love and trust are vital in saving a marriage, when the going gets tough love and trust might not be sufficient. If you truly want to save your marriage, prepare your body and soul for hard work, gut-wrenching soul searching, and perhaps quite a few missteps.

If the marriage is to go beyond the initial separation, it will be important to make significant changes to the environment that lead to the brokenness in the first place. A couple’s inability to make necessary changes in their relationship is why marriages fail.

Communicate with your spouse

If your marriage is going through a tough time, you need to adapt and learn new skills to save your relationship. Communicating your emotions and listening effectively are the key components for repairing a marriage.

If you and your love are currently living in separate spaces, you must still find a way to keep the lines of communication open and healthy. Even from a distance, you can still do a lot of good in your relationship by continuously taking ownership of attitudes, decisions, and the best and worst of your behaviors.

Occasionally, the changes you make in your life may become a catalyst for your spouse to foster some healthy changes, too. If you and your spouse can no longer communicate in an effective and strong manner, consider some coaching. Pull some others into the conversation that will help to model best practices.

Compromise

Another major aspect of a marriage that at times couples find hard to understand and accept is – compromise. Marriage in many scenarios is an amalgamation of two people who can have immensely different personalities.

To make a marriage work both partners need to be ready to put aside their differences and accommodate each other time and again. If a couple is ready to compromise then establishing a middle ground that please both of them becomes effortless.

What else can you do

Taking a break in a marriage doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship is over. A break can simply be a way to reevaluate your thoughts before you come back to your spouse. The time away can help you understand your spouse’s point of view and aid you in finding possible solutions for your problem.

Another thing that can work wonders in a marriage and uplift you as an individual is taking care of your physical appearance. Enhancing your appearance will help your self-esteem and even change the way your spouse sees you.

It’s quite simple, if you can’t take care of yourself how can you take care of anyone or anything else.

Seek professional advice

If reconciliation is the avenue that most appeals to you, or if you are wondering how to save my marriage? Then pull a marriage professional into the mix as soon as possible.

In so many cases of marital dissolution, an outside source can offer new insights on old issues that continue to stymie even the most “in sync” couples.

Don’t let the issues in an early marriage go unresolved or unaddressed. If you can’t sort them out on your own, go to a marriage counselor. Harmonizing a marriage takes a lot of work and requires you to learn a variety of skills.

A good marriage counselor or therapist can guide you in the right direction and make your bond stronger.

A variety of marriage workshops and marriage enrichment opportunities help couples deal with the conflicts and behaviors that feed the duress. But remember, it is absolutely unhealthy to sacrifice most of yourself to make the marriage work.

Seeking pre-marriage counseling is another option that couples consider. This helps them attain an excellent tool to get their marriage started and make the bumps along the way easier to surpass.

Not only can a marriage be a blessing but at times it can also scar and hurt you emotionally. At times it can be difficult to gauge if your marriage is salvageable or not.

Inability to compromise on repeated issues, lack of empathy, different goals or a different outlook in life are scenarios where if you work hard enough you can possibly repair your marriage. However, if you find yourself in a marriage where you are being subjected to physical or mental abuse, it is time to call it quits.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less