8 Ways to Recommit to Your Marriage & Fall in Love Again

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One of the reasons why the divorce rates are rising is because couples feel like they are not a perfect match anymore. Time and circumstances slowly drift them apart, and, in the end, they fall out of love and divorce each other.

Another typical pattern that is traceable in most countries is that couples tend to hang on to the last thread of their relationship for the sake of their children. Once their kids are old enough and leave the house, they separate rather than think about recommitting to marriage.

If you feel like you’re suffering in a dead-end relationship and there’s no spark left in your marriage, you may need to learn how to recommit to your marriage. 

Rejuvenating your marriage is like renewing your vows. You both want to find the reason to be together again and realize that you belong together.

Related Reading: What Keeps Couples Together: 15 Things You Must Know

Why should you recommit to your marriage?

It would be best to understand that it would end miserably if you did not try to restore your marriage. Things can only get better if you put consistent efforts to rejuvenate your marriage. 

With time, the focus shifts from the relationship to children and career, and it builds the communication gap, which results in trust issues, arguments, and ill experiences. 

Many people find it easier to break off the relationship than rebuild a marriage. They fail to understand that they can save their marriage if they try to resolve the issues. Separation or divorce is not a good experience, and it never guarantees that you will be happy after that. 

It would be best to recommit to your marriage if the issues can be solved and there is no other option than separation.

Related Reading: How to Rebuild a Marriage: Here’s an 7-Step Rescue Plan

Recommit to your marriage – why is it important

Recommitting to marriage is crucial for you and your family for many reasons. As mentioned above, not working on your relationship may end up in more misery. You have to determine whether it’s a marriage where you feel stuck or are just not putting enough effort. 

According to a report published by The Institute for American Values on ‘Divorce Assumptions,‘ many people assume that there are only two options in marriage: stay married and be miserable or get divorced and be happy. The report shows that divorced adults are not happier than unhappily married adults. 

In fact, people who were unhappily married and worked on their marriage considered themselves happy after five years.

Here are some more reasons why you should think about recommitting to your marriage:

1. The separation or divorce can affect the stability of your kids. It can negatively impact their life. Their relationship with their family members, friends, the atmosphere in their school, and standard of living can change drastically, highly impacting their adulthood. 
2. It would be best to recommit to your marriage and avoid divorce, as it can impact your financial stability and decrease your standard of living. Especially if there is shared child custody, it becomes daunting to manage various financial responsibilities such as insurance, taxes, loans, monthly expenses, etc. 
3. Working on your marriage may demand a lot of mental strength but not working on it and opting to give up can leave a solid dent in your mental health. Separation or divorce is a mentally exhausting process, and it can make you more miserable. 

8 Ways to recommit to your marriage and fall in love again

What does recommit mean? Recommitting means working on your marriage until it gets better.

What makes a marriage work is recognizing each other’s distastes and likes and respecting each other. It would help if you also spent time together to learn and grow as a couple and build that openness and trust to communicate what you both feel openly.

Related Reading: Falling in Love Again After Being Hurt

Here are some ways to help you if you want to rebuild your friendship and love with your partner.

1. Be grateful

Do you tell your spouse that you’re lucky to have them in your life every day? If not, start doing that now. You have come so far in your marriage and have spent so many years together. You ought to be thankful to God for blessing you with a special person who has brought you so many joys in your life.

When you extend gratitude towards your partner, you will automatically feel wholesome and grateful, and your spouse will feel special and appreciated for their efforts in the relationship, which will, in turn, motivate them to contribute more to a happier marriage.

2. Contribute to your relationship

List down the things that you feel are needed in a relationship, and try to figure out what might be lacking in yours. Trust, kindness, understanding, and communication are among a few key ingredients what make a successful marriage.

Figuring out what your marriage needs is like finding the missing puzzle piece. You know something is missing, and until and unless you evaluate the status of your marriage and examine what your relationship needs, you will not be able to figure out what makes a marriage work.

Recommit to the vows made on your marriage day, and work with determination to achieve them.

3. Couples retreat

If you feel like you have spent too much time hassling over external things and have forgotten what it is like to be on a date, this option is viable.

Take a break, and enjoy some quality time with your spouse. It can be learning about the person again, and you may surprise yourself with how much you both catch up on and what you learn from each other.

Experiment with different ways of rekindling that spark and find out what works best for you. You could go on date nights or a mini vacation to remind yourself what good company your spouse is.

Related Reading: An Essential Marriage Retreat Guide to Rekindle Your Relationship

4. Change in desires and expectations

As relationships evolve, your desires change as well. You may not want the same things you wished for in the early stages of your marriage.

On the other hand, some things in a relationship do not last forever. It could be as simple as a morning text from your spouse that you adore and wish it comes back, or something like pillow talks every night that you long for.

Either way, it is okay to feel that way and communicate those feelings with your partner.

Related Reading: How to Share Your Feelings With Your Spouse

5. Learn to compromise

A major mistake some couples make is always focusing on getting what they want. Making your marriage work involves sacrifices and compromises on both ends.

Disagreements are common in every marriage, but that does not mean that you can’t find a solution. It would help if you remembered that working on marriage requires fair reasoning and understanding on both ends of the spectrum, and both partners need to respect each other’s wants.

6. Communicate 

What makes a happy marriage is a sense of understanding, tolerance, gentleness, and good communication between both partners.

When both the individuals work towards bettering themselves for the other with all their heart and soul, they will collectively find themselves in a healthier stage and feel happier and more connected.

Communicate about what happiness in a relationship means to you and your partner. Find what you both need to change or include to make sure that you both are happy in the relationship. Communication is the key to saving your marriage. 

It would be best to work on the problems instead of understanding how to get your spouse to recommit to your marriage. Every relationship is a two-way road, and it’s never about a single person but always about the couple. 

Related Reading: 30 Tips on How to Have a Happy Marriage

This video by certified life coach, dating coach, and relationship coach, Stephan Labossiere can help you improve communication in relationship:

7. Try to commit intentionally 

Life can be challenging even when you try to work on things. Things can get out of hand, but you have to make sure that you keep your focus on priorities. Make your marriage a priority and work for it. 

You will find many external factors, people, and problems that will try to disrupt your marriage, but if you can take charge and focus on the positives instead of focusing on problems, things will get smoother with time. 

8. Try therapy

Sometimes it’s better to look for professional guidance to understand the problems better and find their solutions. If you think that you have tried it and nothing has worked, you should seek help from a therapist and opt for couples therapy. 

A professional counselor or therapist can help you navigate the path to saving your marriage and rejuvenating it.

How to stay committed in a relationship?

Staying committed in a relationship requires trust, understanding, and patience to work on it every day. Here are some tips that can help you stay committed to your relationship. 

1. Identify the positive and negative outcomes 

Evaluate the good and bad things about your relationship and recognize if the positives outweigh the negatives in your relationship. If it does, it can be easier to work on your relationship. 

Please focus on the positives, embrace them, and work on improving the negatives to make your relationship better. 

Related Reading: 14 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Strong, Healthy, and Happy

2. Stop judging yourself about making a choice 

Many people beat themselves and keep thinking about if they made the right choice about their partner. They fail to understand that one person who can be good support at one point in time can be less supportive later. 

Change is the constant rule, and people do change with time. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they have a major flaw or are a wrong fit. Emotional exhaustion or misery changes people’s attitudes in relationships, and with a bit of effort, you can reverse it. 

Try to understand why your partner has changed. Try to get a clearer idea of what makes your partner less supportive, as it would help find the needed solution to the problem.

Related Reading: 15 Ways to Be Assertive in a Relationship

3. Try to see the relationship from their point of view

Relationships are about two people. It would be best to communicate with your partner and try to understand their perspective. Learn what they think about you as a partner. Are you guys facing the same problems, such as feeling attacked or being criticized, etc.? 

Identify the main problems and try to understand them from your partner’s point of view to strengthen your relationship. Similarly, please speak your mind so that they can also understand your perspective and get a clearer picture of issues that they could resolve, or you both can work out together. 

4. Stop the blame game 

It’s easy to hold someone else responsible for a bad situation, decision, problems, etc. In relationships, sometimes, people unknowingly start to blame their partners. 

It would be best to understand if you blame your partner for your own mistakes. Identifying your mistakes will make you more hopeful about your partner, and it will make you happier to know that your partner is not responsible for many things. Focus on self-analyzation and improvement. 

Conclusion

If you feel like you are lost in your marriage, you need to go back and find out what brings joy to both of you. It is not always easy to recommit to your marriage, but once you strive to be an outlier among the sea of divorces, you will find your way to a merry, wholesome marriage.