“Will I Ever Find Love?” 20 Things You Need to Remember

Most people desire to find someone they love and to share a life together, but some people may struggle to form a successful relationship. If you have had several failed relationships or just can’t seem to connect with anyone, you may eventually find yourself wondering, “Will I ever find love?”

You may also begin to feel depressed and think, “No one will ever love me!” If this sounds like you, there are some things you may need to consider before deciding you’ll never be successful at finding the love you want.

Also Try: Do I Seem Hard To Love Quiz

Is it possible that you will never find love?

Accepting that you will never find love may, in some cases, be a reality, as it is possible that you will never settle down in a long-term relationship. 

In fact, data from Pew Research Center shows that just half of the adults aged 18 to 44 have ever married, which is down from the 60 percent of adults in this age group who had ever married. 

It appears that it is becoming more common for people to never marry or establish long-term relationships, so it is possible and even normal to never find love. 

Also Try: When Will I Find Love?

10 Reasons it is so difficult to find someone you love

Letting love find you can be difficult, even when you want someone so bad. If you have failed time and time again to find a loving relationship, you may be struggling with some of the following: 

1. You aren’t willing to do the work

Relationships certainly have their benefits, but they do require work. 

Over time, couples who are in long-term relationships will encounter conflict and differences of opinion. If you are not willing to accept conflict as normal and put in the work to resolve your differences, you may never find lasting love. 

2. You’re afraid of getting hurt

If you’ve been hurt in the past or didn’t have a good example of healthy relationships while growing up, you may be fearful that getting involved in a serious relationship will result in you getting hurt. 

If this is the case, you may be afraid to open yourself up to people. 

3. There are other priorities in your life

Maybe you’ve been so focused on your career or your personal goals that you haven’t set aside enough time or put forth the effort required to have a meaningful relationship. 

4. Your standards are too high

Sometimes, we may create this vision in our head of the perfect partner, and if someone falls short in any way, we determine that they cannot possibly be the one for us. 

The reality is that there is no perfect person or perfect partner, and if you are holding people to impossibly high standards, you may be missing out on a loving relationship. 

5. You have unrealistic perceptions of what love means

If you base your understanding of love on the fairytale romances displayed on television and in movies, you may think you haven’t found love unless you have the ideal relationship. 

Remember that all relationships involve conflict, and it is unlikely that looking for a new love will result in a magical whirlwind romance. 

6. Fear of commitment leads you to seek out surface-level relationships

It may be that you’re afraid of settling down with someone, so instead of looking for love, you are engaging in casual relationships or hookups. This type of interaction is unlikely to lead to lasting love. 

Related Reading: Fear of Commitment Quiz

7. You’re too close-minded

Another problem people may run into when looking for love is being too close-minded. 

Perhaps you won’t date anyone who doesn’t fulfill certain criteria, or maybe your “deal breakers” are too strict. If this is the case, you may need to open your mind a bit to find love. 

8. You aren’t willing to try new things

If you are so set in your ways that you are never willing to try a new activity or go somewhere different, it is unlikely that you will ever meet anyone to be able to find love. 

9. You’ve gotten stuck in a pattern of negativity

If you find yourself thinking, “I just want someone to love me!” you may begin to view yourself negatively, and assume that you will simply never find love. 

This can result in you giving up or failing to put your best foot forward, which can ultimately create a self-fulfilling prophecy in which you are never successful at finding the love you want. 

10. You expect too much of your partner

Maybe your significant other has a successful career and tries to make you happy, but it is never enough for you. 

If you expect your partner to meet your every need and be perfect at all times, you will probably never find a successful, loving relationship. 

Related Reading: Tips for Finding the Love of Your Life

10 Things to do while waiting for love 

Will I ever find love? 

If you’re looking to find love, it is important not to rush, as you may end up in the wrong relationship. The wrong relationship isn’t better than being alone, so while you wait to meet the right person, there are positive steps you can take:

1. Focus on your career

Establishing a strong career and getting your finances in order will set you up for a successful relationship because you will be less likely to bring financial baggage to the table that harms a new relationship. 

2. Engage in hobbies

When you aren’t in a relationship, you should have plenty of time to explore your own hobbies, so now is the time to do the things you love. You may even find someone who has things in common with you if you take time to explore your passions. 

3. Focus on your own health and fitness

Going to the gym to get in shape and become the healthiest version of yourself can be helpful when you’re looking for a new love. 

In fact, research shows that physical activity is associated with higher levels of self-esteem, so staying active may help you to feel more confident in yourself. 

4. Take time to travel

Being single doesn’t have to be a negative thing because it gives you time to focus on yourself. Now is the time for adventure. 

Take that trip you’ve always wanted to take, so you’re ready to settle down when you do find the love you need.

5. Turn into the best version of yourself

No one is perfect, and a healthy, loving relationship requires you to accept your partner’s flaws. That being said, if you have bad habits you want to change, now is the time to do so. 

Eliminating bad habits like smoking or failing to keep up with a clean house can save you from conflict when you do begin a relationship.

Related Reading: Ways to Bring Your Best Self to Your Relationship

6. Go out and socialize

Even if you’re enjoying your single life, you probably eventually want to settle down and find someone. If this is the case, you have to get out and socialize, as you’ll never meet someone while sitting at home. 

Accept invitations to attend social gatherings and develop connections with other people.

7. Cultivate your friendships

When you enter a serious relationship, you’re likely to have less time for friends, so now is the time to nurture your friendships. 

Your friends are likely to be around for life, regardless of whether your future romantic relationships fail, so it’s important to have strong friendships. 

8. Evaluate where you have room for change

When you are wondering if one day love will find you, you might have to take some time to engage in self-evaluation. 

It’s easy to blame past partners for our failed relationships, but maybe you’re bringing something to the table that makes it difficult to let love find you. 

Evaluate where past relationships went wrong, including what role you played, so you can avoid similar mistakes in the future.

9. Consider therapy

If you bring emotional baggage to the table, it may be time to consider going to therapy to work through your own issues before you enter a relationship. 

We all have a history, and if past trauma or pain is stopping you from finding love, it is important to work through this before beginning a relationship.

10. Learn some life skills

If you’re looking for love, you may eventually find yourself moving in with your partner.

If you have already learned important life skills, like how to make basic household repairs and how to manage finances, you’ll be better prepared for a successful partnership. 

Related Reading: Easy and Effective Tips to Help You Find Love That Lasts

20 things to remember when finding the love you want

If you’re waiting to find someone to love, there are 20 things you may want to keep in mind, so you can be more realistic about the process:

1. The ideal version of love in your mind may not exist

Fairytale romances make for good movies, but this type of love probably doesn’t exist in real life. Love doesn’t have to match what you see on TV to be real and meaningful. 

2. It’s important to relax

Putting too much pressure on yourself can backfire, as you may rush into an unhealthy relationship or make yourself so anxious that you are unable to get out and meet people. 

Relax, and trust that if you are meant to be with someone, it will happen.

3. Love won’t magically make your life perfect

It’s not unusual for people to believe that finding the perfect person will make life better. While healthy relationships can bring happiness to your life, they will not suddenly erase all of your problems. 

It is never a good idea to let all of your happiness rest on one person, either, so do not expect love to be the answer to all of your problems. 

4. You have to take responsibility for finding love

If you find yourself wondering, “How do I find love? 

The answer is that you have to take responsibility for it yourself. You cannot expect to sit idly and wait for love to simply show up on your doorstep. 

5. You’re going to have to stop being negative

It’s natural to feel a little down on yourself if you can’t seem to find love, but having a negative outlook is only going to make matters worse. 

If you speak negatively about yourself or have an overall negative disposition, you probably aren’t going to attract someone into your life. 

6. Staying home all the time is not an option

You may have gotten comfortable sitting at home on the couch with Netflix and some salty snacks, but you’re never going to find love this way. You will likely have to step outside your comfort zone to find the man or woman of your dreams.

7. It’s important to establish a solid foundation for yourself

You don’t need to be in a relationship to go after your career goals or to buy your own home. 

Go after these things now, and you’ll be in a good position to commit to a relationship. 

8. You must accept that you deserve love

If you have had trouble finding love in the past, you may have come to believe that you do not deserve the kind of loving relationship you want. 

It is important to stray away from this mindset because the reality is that you are deserving of the love and respect you desire. 

9. It’s time to toss out your idea of the ideal significant other

While you’re waiting for love to find you, get rid of any ideas that you have about what the ideal romantic partner looks like. 

No one will be able to live up to perfection, and when you meet the love of your life, you will be willing to compromise and accept their quirks and imperfections. 

10. Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Perhaps your friends know someone who would be a great match for you, or maybe someone at your local gym knows a person who is looking for love. 

Don’t be afraid to make it known that you’re in the market for a relationship, and ask others to keep you in the loop about any potential love matches they have in mind for you. 

11. Learn to be happy with yourself

If you rely upon someone else to make you happy, you will never find a loving relationship, because no one can make you happy 100% of the time, and even your significant other is not responsible for ensuring your happiness at every moment. 

Learn to be happy with yourself by accepting yourself and finding happiness doing things you love, and you will attract a loving relationship. 

12. Don’t focus only on falling in love

One day love will find you, but you cannot focus so much attention on the love that all of your eggs fall in one basket. 

Give other areas of your life, such as career, hobbies, and friendships, the attention they deserve, and love will come. 

13. Go out on dates

It may seem obvious, but some people who find themselves thinking, “I just want someone to love me!” have never made a real effort at dating. 

Finding the love of your life will probably take effort, and you may have to go on a few dates before you find the right match.

 Related Reading: Why Is Dating Important in a Relationship

14. You need to stop putting yourself down

When you’re stuck in a cycle of looking for new love, and no relationship ever seems to work out, you may begin to blame yourself, but it is important not to put yourself down. 

Sometimes two people just aren’t compatible, and it doesn’t mean you are unworthy of love. Failed relationships simply mean you haven’t found the right person yet, or perhaps you’re not yet ready to find this person. 

15. You might have to practice forgiveness

Everyone makes mistakes, so if you want to let love find you, you might have to forgive your partner for honest mistakes instead of letting every mistake be a reason to end a new relationship. 

16. Being more realistic might be necessary

It is very unlikely that anyone you meet will ever check off every single box on your list of preferred qualities in a significant other. 

You might have to set more realistic standards and accept someone who is compatible with you and meets most of your preferences.

17. Love at first sight may not be a reality

Some people have a “falling in love story” in which they recall feeling an instant connection with their partner but don’t write someone off simply because it didn’t feel like, “Love at first sight.” 

It is entirely possible to fall in love over time rather than instantly. 

18. Be prepared to discuss difficult topics

Relationships can go sour when difficult discussions are avoided. 

If you’re looking to find love, you must be prepared to discuss differences of opinion and manage conflict instead of keeping it inside and allowing resentments to build. 

19. Try to enjoy the process

Falling in love is meant to be an enjoyable experience, but if you are putting too much pressure on yourself to find the one, you might find that it becomes a source of anxiety rather than a source of pleasure. 

Try to enjoy yourself and revel in the positive moments. 

20. Consider dating someone different

If all of your past relationships have failed, perhaps you are looking for love in the wrong places. 

For instance, maybe you are going after people who are emotionally unavailable, or perhaps you always date someone who is exactly like you. Consider someone different, and you might discover that you are more successful at finding the love you want. 

Related Reading: How to Find True Love: 10 Steps to Attract Love

Learning to practice self-love while looking for love

Another important factor to consider when looking for love is the significance of self-love. If you have found yourself lamenting, “No one will ever love me!” it may be that you haven’t learned how to first love yourself. 

When you lack self-love, you will not be able to attract people who truly care for you. Be intentional about speaking kindly to yourself, viewing yourself positively, and changing any negative attitudes you have toward yourself so that you can let love find you. 

Related Reading: Tips for Finding Real Love

FAQs

Those who are wondering, “Will I ever find love?” may have some of the following frequently asked questions: 

1. What is the fear of never finding love called? 

While there isn’t really a fear associated with never finding love, the fear of falling in love, which may be the reason you’ve never found love, is called philophobia. 

2. What are the chances of finding love? 

It is difficult to calculate a person’s exact chances of finding love, but the majority of the U.S. population has cohabited with a partner at some point between the ages of 18 and 44, suggesting that the chances of finding love are in your favor if you put in the effort. 

3. At what age should you find love? 

There is no exact “right” age to find love, and in fact, many people wait until later in life to find love. 

Some people may create rules and tell themselves they must settle down and get married by a certain age, but it is a myth that you cannot find love in older age. 

4. What things can stop a person from finding love? 

If you are wondering, “Will I ever find love?” there may be some roadblocks that are standing in your way. 

Some things that can stop a person from finding love include setting standards that are too high, having unrealistic expectations for love, being afraid to get hurt, having a fear of commitment, or being unwilling to put in the work to resolve conflict and achieve lasting love. 

5. How do you know you will never find love?

If your relationships have failed time and time again, and you hold an idealized view of love in your mind, or you are not willing to lower your standards and accept a less-than-perfect partner, you may never find love. 

6. Is it ok to never find love?

Ultimately, it is acceptable to never settle down and find love. 

If you have other priorities in life, such as pursuing your own passions or furthering your career, love simply may not be a priority. 

There is nothing wrong with choosing to be single forever, so long as you are happy with the arrangement. On the other hand, if you are worried that no one will ever love you, there are changes you can make to find love. 

Conclusion

It is certainly okay to choose to be single, but if you find yourself wondering, “How do I find love?” you may need to make some changes to give yourself a better chance at having a successful relationship. 

Many people long to establish a loving relationship, but commitment issues, high standards, and unrealistic expectations can get in the way. Fortunately, there are ways to change your outlook so that you can be successful with finding the love you want.