7 Long-Term Consequences of Lying by Omission in a Relationship

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“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.” Buddha’s words ring especially true when we think about relationships. In love and partnership, being honest is key to keeping trust and understanding strong. 

However, not every lie is straightforward. Lying by omission—keeping back important truths—can quietly break down the trust that relationships need to succeed. This kind of lying can lead to a lot of emotional and relationship problems that get worse over time, affecting both partners deeply.

As we look into these issues, it becomes clear that sometimes, the things we don’t say can have a bigger impact than the things we do say.

How does lying by omission impact trust?

Trust in a relationship is built on the assurance that partners share thoughts, feelings, and information openly with each other. When one partner consistently omits significant details, this trust is breached.

The realization that a partner has withheld information can lead to doubt and suspicion, shifting how individuals view not only specific incidents but the relationship’s integrity as a whole.

7 long-term consequences of lying by omission in a relationship

Lying by omission might seem less severe than outright falsehoods, but it can have profound and lasting effects on a relationship. 

When one partner consistently withholds important information, it disrupts the foundation of trust and communication that healthy relationships require. Here are 7 long-term consequences of lying by omission in a relationship:

1. Erosion of trust

Trust issues from omission are among the most damaging impacts of not telling the whole truth. Over time, discovering that essential facts were intentionally omitted can make it difficult for the deceived partner to trust their significant other.

It can lead to skepticism of their partner’s actions and words, significantly diminishing the sense of security within the relationship.

2. Increased anxiety and stress

Omission lies in relationships introduce a persistent uncertainty over what else might be hidden. This doubt can evolve into anxiety and stress, which not only affects one’s mental health but can also manifest physically.

The strain of wondering if there are more secrets can be taxing and detrimental to overall well-being.

3. Weakening of the bond

The emotional effects of lying by omission can be quite severe, causing a gradual withdrawal of emotional intimacy.

As trust deteriorates, partners may become more guarded or less willing to share their own thoughts and feelings, leading to a weakened connection that can be difficult to mend.

4. Growth of resentment

When lies of omission come to light, they often breed resentment. The partner who has been misled might feel betrayed or undervalued, and these feelings can fester if not addressed properly. Resentment can poison interactions and conversations, making it hard to enjoy the relationship.

5. Damage to communication

The impact of not telling the whole truth extends to communication patterns. With key information often missing, discussions can become surface-level or entirely avoidant of meaningful topics, stunting the growth of the relationship and preventing the resolution of underlying issues.

6. Decline in personal integrity and self-esteem

For the partner who lies by omission, there can be a decline in personal integrity and self-esteem. Carrying the burden of withholding information can lead to feelings of guilt and shame, which can affect how they view themselves and their moral judgment.

7. Potential for relationship breakdown

Understanding the lies of omission and their extensive impact is crucial because, in the long term, these untruths can lead to the breakdown of the relationship. 

If the foundation of trust is eroded beyond repair, it can result in separation or divorce, as one or both partners find the relationship no longer sustainable.

How can couples overcome the damage caused by lying by omission?

Overcoming the damage caused by lying by omission requires a willingness to address the underlying issues and commit to open, transparent communication. It involves understanding why the omission happened and discussing what each partner needs to feel secure in the relationship again.

• Full disclosure: The partner who withheld information should openly disclose any other details they may have omitted. Full transparency in this initial step is crucial for rebuilding trust.
• Address the root cause: Understand and address why the omission occurred. This may involve discussing fears, insecurities, or misunderstandings that led to withholding information.
• Set new expectations: Together, partners should set clear expectations about transparency and honesty going forward. This includes agreeing on what information is essential to share.
• Regular check-ins: Establish regular check-ins to discuss ongoing feelings and any concerns about the relationship. This practice helps maintain open lines of communication and ensures ongoing issues are addressed promptly.
• Seek professional guidance: Sometimes, outside help from a counselor or therapist can provide the tools and space needed to navigate through the complex emotions and challenges involved in rebuilding trust.

5 steps couples can take to rebuild trust broken due to lying by omission

Rebuilding trust after it has been damaged by lying by omission is a crucial but challenging task for couples. This process demands patience, commitment, and dedicated efforts from both partners to heal and move forward.

Here are 5 steps that can help in repairing a relationship after lying and restoring the bond:

1. Create a culture of openness

Encourage an environment where both partners feel safe to express their true feelings and concerns. Building honesty in relationships starts with small steps; regular, open conversations about day-to-day experiences and feelings can establish a foundation for deeper trust.

2. Acknowledge the hurt caused

Both partners must acknowledge the pain that lying by omission has caused. The partner who withheld information should genuinely apologize, and the other should express how the omission has impacted them. This mutual acknowledgment is a vital step in dealing with deception and moving toward healing.

3. Set boundaries and rules

Together, you both can decide on new boundaries and rules that promote transparency. This might include sharing passwords, providing details about personal finances, or agreeing to talk about the day’s events every evening. Clear boundaries can prevent future misunderstandings and help maintain a culture of honesty.

4. Develop new shared interests

Engaging in new activities together can help strengthen the relationship and build new avenues of trust. Whether it’s taking a cooking class, joining a book club, or starting a fitness challenge together, shared interests create positive experiences and opportunities for growth.

Watch this episode of Relationship Theory, where Tom and Lisa explain the importance of finding common interests and joy together:

5. Practice communicating truth in love

Make it a practice to communicate truthfully yet compassionately. It’s not just about being honest but also about how you convey the truth. Learning to communicate in a way that respects and upholds the dignity of your partner can significantly mend and deepen trust.

FAQs

Lying, in any form, can significantly impact relationships. Here are some commonly asked questions that might help you know more about its effect:

• What does lying by omission do to a relationship?

Lying by omission can damage a relationship by eroding trust, creating emotional distance, and encouraging insecurities. It slowly breaks down the open communication vital for a healthy partnership.

• How does lying affect relationships?

Lying undermines trust, the cornerstone of any relationship. It breeds doubt and insecurity, which can lead to chronic stress and decrease overall relationship satisfaction.

• Is lying by omission manipulative?

Yes, lying by omission can be manipulative. It involves deliberately withholding information necessary for making informed decisions, thereby controlling and misleading the other person.

• Is lying a deal breaker in a relationship?

Lying can indeed be a deal breaker in relationships. Persistent dishonesty destroys trust and respect, which are essential for a healthy, long-lasting partnership.

Final thoughts

Understanding the long-term effects of lying by omission shows how crucial honesty is for a healthy relationship. If you’re holding back information from your partner, now is the time to make a change. Begin by being more open and making sure you both communicate clearly. 

Talk honestly with your partner about your fears and hopes. Taking these steps can help prevent trust issues and keep your relationship strong and connected. Start today because being honest helps build a stronger bond.