What Is Flirting? 10 Subtle Signs Someone Is Flirting

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If you’re looking up the query “What is flirting,” odds are you think somebody is flirting with you. Or it could be that you have a crazy crush on someone special, and you’re trying to get their attention.

Simply put, flirting is trying to get someone to notice you. From genuine interest to just being playful, people flirt for different reasons. This can make it hard to know what their actual intentions are.

Are you a natural flirt and want to reign in your mixed signals, or do you think that someone’s flirting with you, but you can’t read their signals?

We have the answers no matter which side of the fence you’re on. We’re giving you the top examples of flirting and why people do it.

What is flirting?

So, let’s start by understanding “What is the definition of flirting?” Flirting is a social and sexual behavior involving spoken or written communication and body language by one person to another, either to suggest interest in a deeper relationship with the other person or, if done playfully, for amusement.

The way someone flirts, however, can be subjective. This leaves us with the question: what is considered flirting, or what counts as flirting? 

Sometimes, people are good at flirting over text or the phone, but when you meet them, they are relatively shy. Similarly, some people may be natural flirts in person. “What is flirting over text?” is a common query, often reflecting curiosity about the nuances of romantic communication in digital conversations.

It can be common for someone to misunderstand that you are flirting with them or that they are flirting with you when they are just being nice. 

Such a situation can be considered micro flirting, and you may want to look up “What is micro flirting?” to know if that is true. Sometimes, people have a naturally flirty aura, so you might think they are flirting with you even as they compliment or say something nice.

Why is it important to be able to recognize flirting?

Recognizing flirting is an essential social skill that can significantly impact our personal and professional lives. When we accurately identify someone showing romantic or sexual interest in us, we can respond appropriately and create deeper connections. 

At the same time, recognizing when someone is flirting can also help us avoid uncomfortable situations and potentially harmful relationships. Additionally, it can boost our confidence and self-esteem, demonstrating that someone is interested in us and finds us attractive. 

Therefore, being able to recognize flirting signals can enhance our ability to communicate effectively and form meaningful relationships.

What are the examples of flirting?

So, how do you know someone is flirting with you or just being nice? One way to know this is by understanding “What are flirting examples?” Here are some popular examples of flirting that might give you more clarity.

1. Prolonged eye contact

Is this person always making eye contact with you? Do they look you in the eye even when you are in a group? Do they prolong this eye contact for no reason?

Eye contact has a significant role when it comes to flirting. Eye contact establishes a great interest in someone. So, what does flirting look like? If someone maintains prolonged eye contact with you, chances are they are flirting with you.

Sex and Relationship Therapist Dr. Rossana Sida points out,

When they maintain eye contact with you and give a sly, knowing smile, consider it an invitation to engage in the flirtation.

2. They look at you even in a room full of people

When someone is interested in you and you are in a group, they will look at you first, especially when something funny or exciting happens. Have you seen them look at you even in a crowded room? This is an example of flirting.

3. Playing with hair or clothing

When talking to you, can they not stop fidgeting with their clothes or hair? 

Toying with a sleeve or button or just flicking their hair is an example of someone flirting with you, especially when they do this with a smile. Such gestures can also indicate they are interested to know more about you.

10 signs that someone is flirting with you

Flirting is a complex and typically subtle form of social interaction that involves expressing romantic or playful interest in someone. While the signs can vary from person to person and from context to context, certain behaviors are commonly associated with flirting.

Understanding these signs can provide valuable insights, whether navigating a new relationship or trying to decipher someone’s intentions. Here are some common signs that someone may be flirting with you:

1. High compliments

If someone is trying to flirt with you, one of the first things they will do is pay you a compliment. This is great because it offers the recipient an ego boost while letting them know they’re desired. Common avenues of flirty compliments include:

• Complimenting your behavior: “You are so funny! You always know how to make me laugh.”
• Complimenting your dress and grooming: “I love your shirt; it looks great on you.”
• Complimenting talents/hobbies: “You have the best taste in music.”
• General compliments: “You are so sweet,” “I always know I can count on you; you’re the best!”

2. Bringing attention to themselves

Are you wondering how to tell if someone is flirting with you? One considerable aspect of flirting has to do with body language. Many people will use many methods, from dressing differently to talking with their hands, to be noticed.

Common methods of body language flirting include:

• Touching/playing with their hair: Playing with hair is an exciting way to consciously or subconsciously flirt to draw their crush’s attention to their face.
• Biting/licking lips: Is there anything sexier than a pouty pair of lips? Big flirts will use these facial assets to draw your attention to their mouth and make you wonder about them.
• Drinking from your glass: When someone has a crush on you, proximity is everything. They want to be where you are and drink from what you’re drinking. This is just a cute and sweet way to get closer to you.
• Wearing something suggestive: Don’t take this the wrong way, as this doesn’t mean that everything they have will be out on display. But if someone wants your attention, they will dress how you like to feel noticed.

3. Physical contact

When you like someone, you want to be closer to them. “What is flirting with a girl or boy?” is a question that can require pondering. Some studies suggest that the oxytocin released during physical forms of affection, such as holding hands or caressing, has been proven to lower stress.

It’s thrilling and somehow naughty all at the same time. It’s why the first kiss (and many other first times!) in a new relationship feels so electric.

Common examples of flirtatious touching include:

• Hugging
• Rubbing your shoulders
• Giving a high-five
• Kissing hello/goodbye
• Winking
• Touching someone’s shoulder/slapping it when they make you laugh
• Tickling
• Suggestive dancing

If someone you know finds excuses to make physical contact with you, you can just bet they are flirting.

4. It’s all about eye contact

Some people have trouble making eye contact with others. They may hold your gaze for a moment but will quickly look away. This is the exact opposite of someone who is flirting with you!

If you’ve ever wondered “What is flirting” and whether someone’s flirting with you, remember these five words: it’s all in the eyes!

One significant sign of flirting is sexy eye contact. Some studies suggest that eye contact not only creates self-awareness but also heightens emotional intimacy.

5. Witty banter

Is banter flirting? One of the biggest ways someone will flirt with you is witty banter flirting – verbal. For example, you had to rush to work quickly and didn’t have time to do your hair, so you threw it up into a messy bun. 

“Don’t mind me,” you say, “I’m a mess today.” In an attempt to flirt with you, your co-worker says, “I think messy hair is so sexy,” or “What are you talking about? You look amazing!” Charming and even sarcastic banter is another way that people flirt.

If you find yourself constantly drawn to the same person in conversations, you already know that your chemistry is out of this world. If this person is flirting with you, they may strive to make you laugh or invariably come up with something witty to say to you.

6. Schoolyard flirting

Part of the reason why flirting can be so confusing is because sometimes, like a child poking fun at their crush on the schoolyard, flirting isn’t always sweet.

If someone you know loves to tease and poke fun at you but still wants to be around you all the time, odds are they are flirting with you.

Research shows that shared activities and hobbies promote relationship satisfaction, so it’s natural that your crush gets a dopamine boost by spending time with you. But they aren’t sure how to get your romantic attention, so they make jokes at your expense.

7. They change when you’re in the room

Do your friends tell you that this person you suspect is flirting with you changes when you’re around? Do they light up when you enter a room?

If someone becomes more attentive, tries hard to be funny, or acts completely different when you’re around, they’re probably trying to flirt with you and get your attention.

Flirting is fun and exciting to let someone know you like them. You can even flirt with a long-time spouse to spice up your relationship. Giving compliments, using suggestive body language, maintaining eye contact, and perking up around this person are all subtle signs of flirting.

8. They tease you

One of the telltale signs of flirting is when they tease you. Do they pull your leg in front of your friends? Do they mock you jokingly? 

Teasing someone to get a reaction can be a sign of flirting with someone. It also shows that they notice the little things about you.

Watch Coach Kyle, a dating coach, as he shares proven examples of how to tease a girl playfully in this video:

9. They let you catch them looking at you

Do you feel their eyes on you when you are together, at a party, or in a group setting? This could be a sign that they like you. However, a clear sign that they are flirting with you is when they let you catch them looking at you.

When you see that they are staring at you, do they shy away and look the other way, or do they hold your gaze? If it is the latter, they are flirting with you.

10. They hint at doing things with you

If some activity or hang-out plan casually comes up, do they hint that you should join them, or do they make excuses to see you? 

Then, it might be a clear sign that they are flirting with you. When people like someone, they want to ensure they spend time together.

FAQs

Navigating the complexities of social interactions can sometimes leave us feeling uncertain. Below, we have answered some common questions surrounding flirting to help you understand the differences and key signs.

• What is flirty behavior?

Flirty or flirting behavior is when someone, through their words, actions, or body language, tries to express that they are interested in you romantically or sexually, either for a long-term relationship or just casually.

• What’s the difference between flirting and being friendly?

Flirting involves expressing romantic or sexual interest through playful teasing and flirtatious behavior while being friendly creates a warm and amicable atmosphere without any romantic intentions.

• How do I know if someone is flirting with me or just being nice?

Watch for signs like prolonged eye contact, physical touch, and compliments with a hint of flattery. Flirting usually carries a playful and flirtatious tone, while friendliness lacks these subtle hints.

• What if I don’t like someone who is flirting with me?

Honesty is crucial. Clearly express your discomfort and set your boundaries with the person. If needed, involve a trusted friend or authority figure to handle the situation and address your concerns.

• How can I flirt back without being too forward?

Strike a balance between confidence and respect. Use subtle gestures, light-hearted humor, and engaging conversation to show interest while being mindful of personal boundaries.

• Is it okay to flirt if I’m in a relationship?

Harmless flirting can sometimes boost confidence and maintain playfulness. However, it’s essential to consider your partner’s feelings and communicate openly. Respect the boundaries of your relationship to ensure trust and mutual understanding.

The takeaway

So, what is flirting? Flirting is a very natural human behavior. Sometimes, you may not even realize you are flirting with someone because you naturally tend to exhibit such behavior when you like someone or are attracted to them.

If you feel someone is flirting with you, and you like them back, you should give it a shot. However, if you are unclear, asking a clear question would not hurt anyone. Flirting can be unclear and gray, so treading the line carefully is a good idea.

If the flirting goes well and you end up being together forever, take an online marriage course to make your journey easier.