7 Types of Conflict in Relationships & How to Deal With Them
What happens when two people with unique thoughts, feelings, and experiences try to share their lives?
Conflict is almost inevitable. It is not always about shouting matches or slamming doors; sometimes, it is the quiet misunderstandings, the unspoken frustrations, or even differing expectations that create tension.
These moments can feel overwhelming, but they also reveal so much about the bond two people share. The way someone handles these challenges often shapes the depth of their connection.
Whether it is about values, priorities, or even how to spend a Saturday night, types of conflict in relationships come in all forms. Each one holds the potential to either pull people apart or bring them closer together.
It is not about avoiding disagreements altogether—it is about understanding them and responding with care, even when it feels hard to do so.
What are relationship conflicts?
So, what is conflict in a relationship?
Relationship conflicts are disagreements, debates, arguments, and struggles between two people in a relationship over matters of shared interest.
But remember that a conflict in a relationship is normal.
There is no way the two of you would always agree on things and never argue. When dealt with correctly, conflicts in a relationship can even strengthen your marriage or relationship over time.
A study of 80 young Mexican college students in heterosexual relationships found that the main problems in their relationships stemmed from a lack of communication and problem-solving skills. These difficulties often led to conflict avoidance as a primary strategy for dealing with relationship challenges.
It’s not the relationship conflicts that can ruin a relationship – it’s how you deal with it.
7 common types of conflict in relationships
Conflict is part of every relationship, whether it is about little habits or deeper differences.
What types of conflict can arise when people are in love?
From trust issues to differing values, these moments can test a couple’s connection. Understanding these types of conflict in relationships can help partners manage them with care and compassion.
Here are 7 relationship conflict examples and how they often unfold.
1. Miscommunication
One of the most common conflicts in relationships stems from miscommunication. This type of conflict in relationships arises when people assume their partner understands their thoughts or feelings without expressing them.
Misunderstood texts, unclear phrasing, or mismatched expectations can create unnecessary tension. Taking time to clarify and actively listen helps avoid these frustrations and strengthens understanding.
It may look like:
One partner misinterpreting a casual comment as criticism, an unclear text message sparking unnecessary worry, or a conversation ending with “I thought you knew what I meant!” Small misunderstandings like these can quickly grow into larger arguments if not addressed.
2. Financial disagreements
Money often causes stress between partners, whether it is about spending habits, savings goals, or dividing expenses. This type of conflict in relationships typically stems from unspoken expectations or different financial priorities.
A study of 3,861 couples found that disagreements about finances and housework were the strongest predictors of conflict, including frequent arguments. Financial disagreements due to husbands were more likely to lead to conflict than by the wives.
Addressing these differences openly and setting shared goals can help couples work through their concerns with trust and teamwork.
It may look like:
One partner may feel frustrated over unnecessary purchases, disagreements about how to split rent, or arguments about how much to save for a vacation. When financial expectations are not clearly communicated, these situations can create tension.
3. Differences in values
What happens when two people have contrasting beliefs or traditions? These conflicts can feel personal and lead to hurt feelings if neither person is willing to compromise.
These types of conflict in relationships test a couple’s ability to respect each other’s individuality. Finding common ground or agreeing to disagree helps preserve harmony without sacrificing authenticity.
It may look like:
Arguments over how to celebrate holidays, disagreements about parenting styles, or feeling misunderstood because of deeply held personal beliefs. These situations often highlight the need for respect and compromise.
4. Uneven emotional labor
Feeling like one partner is managing all the emotional work—planning dates, resolving issues, or providing support—can create resentment.
This type of conflict in relationships is especially common when roles are unbalanced or unnoticed. Honest conversations about sharing responsibilities and appreciating each other’s efforts help to ease this dynamic.
It may look like:
One partner planning every weekend activity, always being the one to apologize after a fight, or feeling like the only one making an effort to stay emotionally connected. This imbalance can feel exhausting over time.
5. Trust issues
Trust issues can arise from past experiences, misunderstandings, or current behavior. This type of conflict in relationships often creates distance and insecurity.
Rebuilding trust takes time, patience, and consistent effort from both partners. Open communication, reassurance, and honesty are key to overcoming these hurdles and regaining a sense of safety.
It may look like:
Checking a partner’s phone without permission, questioning their whereabouts too often, or constantly feeling uneasy about their commitments. These actions can strain the relationship and highlight the need for reassurance and openness.
6. Intimacy concerns
Conflicts around physical or emotional intimacy often occur when partners have differing needs or expectations. If left unaddressed, these types of conflict in relationships can lead to feelings of rejection or disconnection.
Speaking openly about desires and boundaries while showing empathy helps couples manage these sensitive areas and strengthen their bond.
It may look like:
One partner may want more physical affection than the other, hesitating to share deeper emotions or feeling like intimacy is more of an obligation than a connection. These struggles can create distance if not talked about openly.
7. Time management struggles
Balancing personal time, work, and relationships can be challenging. This type of conflict in relationships often arises when one partner feels neglected or undervalued.
Setting aside intentional time for each other and discussing priorities can help partners feel more connected, even during busy periods.
It may look like:
One partner works late and misses dinner plans, while another feels left out because of a busy social calendar or struggles to find quality time amid packed schedules. These moments can leave one or both partners feeling overlooked or unimportant.
What are the causes of relationship conflicts?
You and your partner are two very different people who happen to be in love with each other. As your relationship progresses, you start getting to know each other on a deeper level.
You discover each other’s pet peeves. You finally understand each other’s beliefs and so much more.
This is also where forms of conflict start to manifest, and here are some of the causes.
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Unreasonable expectations
One of the biggest causes of a conflicted relationship is when a person’s expectations aren’t met.
This happens when a person starts to build up expectations. While expectations are normal, sometimes they become unreasonable, which, of course, creates conflict in their relationship.
When a person starts to resent their partner for being unable to “get” what they want or need, they often forget one thing—no one is a mind reader.
For example:
All your friends have their partners with them at your reunion. You’ve been telling your partner about this for months now, and you expect them to be your date, but they bail out because they have a meeting.
You feel hurt and unloved. After all, you expect they would leave their meeting and choose you over their work, right?
Now, you start seeing something conflicted about your relationship because your expectations weren’t met.
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Being selfish
Sometimes, we are too focused on what we think is right and what we want, which causes us to forget that we’re in a relationship.
It means that when you’re in a relationship, you need to work as a team. From buying groceries to spending your money to making decisions, you and your partner should work together.
Unfortunately, this is very common. Someone in the relationship cannot think of what the other person would feel when making certain decisions.
Selfishness is one of the biggest causes of conflicts in relationships.
For example:
You think it’s best to move to the city where you can fulfill your dreams. However, you fail to recognize that your partner will have to leave their old parents on the farm.
If your partner starts to go against your plans, this can cause a conflict between you.
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Lack of communication
In most articles, we see how communication plays a vital role in a relationship and how the lack of it can cause different types of conflict.
If you communicate in the wrong way by using condescending words, yelling, and being sarcastic – it can cause conflict and further damage the relationship.
As they say, it’s not what you want to say, but it’s how you say it that matters.
For example:
You and your partner don’t agree on whether to send your kids to a private or public school. However, instead of communicating, both of you start throwing condescending words at each other. You begin to yell and bring up past debates.
Instead of agreeing and understanding each one’s points, you end up fighting.
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Resentment
When your partner bursts out a joke that offends you, or if your partner accidentally decides on something and you feel neglected – these situations can cause relationship conflicts.
When you fail to communicate with each other and tell each other the things that might have hurt you, all of these negative emotions build up and become resentments.
Little by little, your heart is filled with pain and discontent, and you can burst out anytime.
For example:
Your partner finally got his first paycheck! You’re so thrilled because you wanted to go on a fancy date. You’ve been telling him about a nearby restaurant, and you felt that he understood what you meant by that.
However, he didn’t. He didn’t even buy you something, which can cause you to feel resentful toward your partner.
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Finger-pointing/Unhealthy criticism
Different types of conflicts can arise when everything that’s happening is somehow your fault.
Who wants to stay in a relationship where your partner constantly criticizes you and your decisions?
It’s like having someone to blame and avoiding taking responsibility. Over time, this type of attitude can cause conflict in your relationship.
For example:
When choosing the best brand of air conditioning unit, you explain your side and suggest the brand you want. However, when the AC unit arrived, it had issues. This prompts your partner to lash out at you and your poor decision-making.
Are there any harmful effects of conflicts in relationships?
Conflicts in relationships can leave marks that are not always visible. When disagreements pile up without resolution, they can chip away at trust, connection, and emotional safety.
Over time, these unresolved tensions may create distance, making partners feel more like strangers than a team. Stress from frequent conflicts can also affect physical health, leading to sleepless nights, headaches, or even anxiety.
In some cases, constant fighting may overshadow the good moments, causing doubts about the relationship’s future. It is not just the arguments themselves but how they are handled that matters.
When blame replaces understanding or when emotions are left unspoken, it becomes harder to feel secure and valued. The effects can linger, even when the arguments fade away.
10 practical ways to deal with relationship conflicts
We must understand that relationship conflicts aren’t always bad.
It’s a part of any relationship, and if handled correctly, it can bring you and your partner closer together. It’s how couples grow more mature and responsible over time.
By learning how to resolve conflict in a relationship, you can overcome challenges and become stronger.
1. Respect each other
Respect is mandatory when dealing with various types of conflict in relationships.
You are not the same person. You have your own opinions and beliefs. Start addressing your conflict with respect. Don’t shout, use hurtful words, or even belittle your partner.
Show respect and listen to what your partner has to say. Then, you will be able to meet halfway and work together to make your decisions work.
Remember that you’re partners and not enemies.
2. Be kind and patient
Sometimes, you can get on each other’s nerves, especially if you already have resentment and anger. Still, let patience and kindness rule over.
Be there and hear your partner’s intentions. Sometimes, it takes more than one conversation to solve a problem.
Remember that you won’t agree on anything or solve anything if you let anger and resentment get the better of you.
3. Help each other
Couples should be open to supporting each other unconditionally in order to resolve unhealthy conflicts in relationships.
If your partner has some financial shortcomings or is showing signs of insecurity, don’t give up on them just yet. Instead, offer help and be there to support.
Educate your partner and show them the pros and cons of the decisions they are making.
Remember that as a couple, you must help your partner.
4. Talk to each other
Make sure to resolve relationship conflicts by talking to each other.
Resolve conflicts by taking time to talk to each other. We’re not talking about yelling, fighting, or even starting a debate – that’s not how it works.
If your partner did something wrong – talk to them. If you feel hurt over something – let your partner know.
Listen to each other, talk to each other, and, if possible, meet in the middle.
Remember that communication is one of the foundations of a strong relationship.
5. Choose the right time and place
Timing and environment matter when discussing sensitive issues. Find a calm and private setting where you can both focus on the conversation without distractions or time constraints.
Remember to set the pace right before you try to resolve a conflict.
6. Seek compromise
Strive for win-win solutions by finding a middle ground. Explore alternative options and be willing to make concessions. Compromise is essential for maintaining balance and harmony in relationships.
Remember that your partner’s win is your win, too.
7. Take a break
Sometimes, conflicts become heated, and emotions can escalate. If tensions rise, taking a short break to cool down and collect your thoughts is okay. However, be sure to revisit the issue later to address it properly.
Remember to let go of the steam first.
8. Focus on the issue, not the person
It’s essential to separate the problem from the individual. Avoid personal attacks or character judgments. Instead, direct your attention toward resolving the specific issue at hand.
Remember, it’s you both vs the problem.
9. Practice forgiveness
Holding onto grudges only adds fuel to the fire. Learn to forgive your partner for their mistakes. Forgiveness allows both individuals to move forward and rebuild trust.
Remember, forgiveness is a virtue to hold on to.
10. Try mediation or counseling
If conflicts persist or become overwhelming, consider seeking relationship counseling. A neutral mediator or couples’ therapist can provide guidance, teach effective communication techniques, and facilitate a healthy resolution.
Remember to adopt an approach that fits the bill.
Psychology Professor Dr. Jordan B. Peterson explains how fights in relationships can not only be healthy but absolutely essential for the relationship:
FAQs
Dealing with conflicts is a major task for any couple who’s looking at a lifetime partnership. Let’s take up some more commonly asked questions about conflict resolution in relationships.
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Do conflicts make a relationship stronger?
When resolved effectively, conflicts can strengthen a relationship by encouraging growth, deepening understanding, improving communication, and building resilience and trust between partners.
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Is conflict resolution important for healthy relationships?
Yes, conflict resolution is essential for healthy relationships! It helps rebuild trust, strengthen understanding, and maintain emotional safety. Addressing disagreements with care prevents lingering resentment and keeps the connection strong, even during challenging moments.
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How can relationship conflicts bring you closer to each other?
When approached with open communication, empathy, and a willingness to understand each other’s perspectives, relationship conflicts can lead to a deeper connection, increased trust, and a stronger bond between partners.
Believe that you can get past the problems!
When you enter a relationship, you’re full of love and hope. Don’t be discouraged when you start having conflicts in your relationship.
We all experience different types of conflict in our relationships, and some of them can be so overwhelming that sometimes, you just want to give up.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, remember that it is not there to ruin your love for each other but to strengthen your relationship.
It’s just how you address these relationship conflicts and how you deal with them that matters.
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