20 Things to Ask About on a First Date

First dates are always unique. This is the first time you’re meeting someone you like, hoping to take things ahead. Knowing what to talk about on a first date can be challenging.

It isn’t as easy as it seems. Movies have shown that a lot can be done on first dates, but things can be very different in reality. 

Some people try creativity to impress their date, but nothing can beat up the best conversation you have. But have you ever thought about date topics?

An engaging and unique conversation can change a lot. So, if you’re wondering what to talk about on a first date, worry not. 

Listed below are some successful tips for first date topics that will make this easy for you.

How to get through the first date?

First dates can be tricky. It is not just about getting through the date itself; most people would agree that even getting a first date with someone can be daunting. 

Thank God for dating apps in the 21st century that seemed to have made the process easier. 

However, even with the convenience of knowing who is available, asking someone out on the first date can be intimidating. 

Dating apps have given rise to the ‘talking phase,’ which many people find extremely draining. This is when two people talk to each other to find out if they want to go on a date at all or not. 

Many say they have been ghosted during this phase after being led on for a long time. 

The prospect of actually meeting in person has never arrived. The talking phase can last days or weeks and can be tricky to navigate.

Suppose you end up on the first date with someone you like. Getting through the first date and having a real chance at a second date towards its end is extremely important. 

What you wear to the date, how you present yourself, and what you talk about can play a significant role in helping you get through the first date.

Aside from that, you want to bring out the best topics or things to talk about on a first date. You don’t want to blabber things that don’t make sense, right?

20 things to ask about on a first date

When on a date, you’re there to know each other well. Striking a good conversation and asking the right questions can serve the motive.

Good first-date questions can lead to an amazing conversation and a lasting impression.

So, here are some first date topics that will help you with things to talk about on a first date. These topics to talk about on a first date will help you keep the conversation going without the risk of making it too serious for a first date.

If you are looking for great first-date ideas, check out this book that will give you great creative ideas for the first time you take them out. 

1. Ask them if they are nervous

People act clumsy on dates as they pretend to act confident and intelligent. Well, drop the act and admit that you’re nervous. Ask them the same question. It’s one of the best first-date conversation starters. 

This will be an icebreaker between the two of you and will surely be one of the best first-date topics to begin with. 

Besides, there is no harm in being nervous and certainly not in accepting it. Everyone is worried on their first date unless they have a good rapport with the person already. 

Chances are, your date is equally nervous, and in fact, both of you end up feeling much more comfortable knowing that it is not just you.

Related Reading: 20 Ways to Tell if a Men Is Confused About His Feelings for You

2. Favorite place to visit

This will tell you a lot about a person’s choice and is one of the perfect first-date conversation starters. 

Everyone has a place they wish to visit or have loved when they visited. It can say a lot more about the person and what they like. 

For instance, if someone says Zurich, you know that the person is fond of mountains and cold weather. This, indeed, will get you both talking and keep up the conversation going naturally.

3. Best meal I ever had

You will likely get one-word answers if you’re asking about their favorite food. 

However, this specific question can let someone say more than a word. They might get into the history of the best food they had and why they think it was the best. 

To keep the conversation going is essential, after all. Also, food can be a great topic on the list of what to talk about on the first date conversation.

4. What makes you laugh

Everybody looks for humor in their potential partner. They want someone who can make them laugh and keep them upbeat in bad times. So, when you ask this question, you will know how to bring a smile to their face.

What makes them laugh tells a lot about them and can be one of the best first-date topics.

Related Reading: 100 Funny Sex Memes That Will Make You Laugh

5. An important person in life

Wondering what to talk about on a first date with someone you already know? 

Well, ask about the important person in their life. If things move forward and you get together in the future, this would come in handy for you. 

By caring for the most critical person in their life, you would show how much you care and love your partner. Indeed, you wouldn’t want to miss out on this information, even if it’s your first date.

6. Where is ‘home’?

So, what to talk about on a first date? Well, consider asking them where home is for them. 

This is far deeper than where they live right now. It’s about their childhood, where they were raised, how their childhood was, and the small memorable moments they remember about it.

 It could also mean where they see themselves living in the future and what they expect from their life.

7. Nicknames while growing up

Ask them about their childhood nicknames if you are wondering what to talk about on a first date. 

They must have had fun and a lot of nicknames given by almost every member of their family. They indeed will have some anecdotes to share associated with it.

8. Bucket list

This is an exciting topic about what to talk about on a first date. Some places to visit, some activities to do, and something interesting to do before they die. 

Now, you know what to say on the first date. Their bucket list will tell you a lot about them and their personality. 

If you wonder what to talk about on a first date with a girl or a guy, asking them about their bucket list sounds like a great idea.

9. Are you pursuing your dream?

What to talk about on a first date that will strike a chord with them?

Well, ask if they’re pursuing their dream. This will be a better question than what they are doing presently. While answering this, they will elaborate on what they dreamed about and how far they’ve reached.

According to Christiana Njoku, LPC:

Knowing about the dreams and aspirations of the person you are interested in a relationship with will help you to understand if your dreams align and how to better support them.

10. Weekend activities

Wondering what to talk about on a first date with a guy? 

Ask about how they spend their weekend. Generally, girls have many activities planned, but guys spend time watching sports or playing games. This will give you a better perspective of what kind of person he is.

Related Reading: 6 Things to Do on Weekends for Couples

11. Perfect day

What their perfect day looks like is an excellent idea if you are wondering what to talk about on a first date. 

Someone might think of just enjoying themselves on a beach, while someone else might go on a trek. Someone might enjoy staying in and relaxing, while someone else would like to go out with friends and party. 

The answer to this question can help you figure out what kind of a person they are.

12. Their best friend

Almost everyone in the world has a best friend. They also have a good impression of that person. 

Talking about their best friend is a good idea for what to talk about on a first date. However, please don’t make it look like you are more interested in their best friend than you are in that person.

It is only an icebreaker to learn more about what activities your date likes doing with their friends. 

13. The hobbies

What people enjoy doing besides their job is an excellent idea of what to talk about on a first date.

Everyone has something they want that’s not related to their career. It could be something they are now too busy to pursue, but there should still be something.

Hobbies are also crucial for planning a second date. Make sure to include it somewhere in the conversation. 

Setting up your next meeting together during the first meeting is the best way to keep both parties interested. 

14. The future plans

Here’s what to talk about on a date if you already know the person – Plans. At least those in the short term are great first-date conversation ideas. All dates start with the intention of looking for a potential mate.

Discussing each other’s plans together will give you a good idea if you’re both on the same page and where you want to go from here.

15. The scariest thing you’ve ever done

Adventure is a part of life, and for some people, it is more important than most things. Some people look for someone fun, spontaneous, and adventurous. Truly, it’s one of those first date topics to talk about that will keep you invested. 

Discussing the scariest things you have done can help you understand how fun and spontaneous the other person is likely to be.

16. Their go-to drink

You both can talk about your go-to drinks, and if they turn out to be the same, that is even better. It does not necessarily have to be an alcoholic drink. Even iced coffee or a specific cup of tea could be someone’s go-to drink. 

If you are looking for topics for first-date conversations, asking this question can be significant. It also gives you room to plan a second date keeping their answer in mind.

17. Favorite movies and shows

What to talk about on a first date? This is one of the most exciting topics to talk about. People who have the same taste in movies and TV shows are likely to get along well.

It also gives you much more to discuss if you have watched the same shows or movies. You can talk about your favorite seasons, episodes, and scenes and analyze them with someone who has watched them as closely as you have!

Related Reading: 40 Best Romantic Movies of All Time

18. Your idea of a holiday

Some people like to visit towns with a lot to do and see and are always actively looking for something to do. On the other hand, others want to unwind with a book, sleep in, take hot showers, or spend time in the tub or the pool. 

Ask them which one they are since your plans must align if you happen to take a holiday together in the future.

Related Reading: 15 Thanksgiving Ideas for Couples for a Memorable Holiday

19. A subject they know well

Some people are experts at their jobs and also happen to be very interested in a completely different subject. It’s one date conversation starter where you can learn and be interested.

For instance, a travel writer could know a lot about astrology, while a scientist may know a lot about cooking. 

Ask them about a subject unrelated to their job that they know well, and watch them tell you about it enthusiastically.

20. Ask them about their family

Your date will likely feel welcomed and valued if you ask them about their family. Do not ask too many questions, as that can make things awkward.

But questions such as who all are in their family, what they do, and where they live can be some basic questions you can ask. Strong family relationships play an essential role in developing one’s personality, and knowing more about them can help you unravel more of your date’s personality.

10 first date ideas to make your date memorable

At last! You got the courage, and the time, to go on a date with the person you like.

Since you have an idea of what to ask on a first date, what’s next? How can you make your first date memorable?

“What to do on the first date? I want it to be special.”

We all know that first dates are important. Even if you have talked on your app or by phone, being together for the first time is different.

Some people don’t know what to talk about on a first date and don’t have any ideas on how to make it memorable. Ultimately, they realize they don’t want to plan for a second date.

We want to avoid this, and we want to leave a good lasting impression on our date.

To do this, we need to plan ahead, know what to ask on a first date, and know what to do to make your first date memorable.

Here are 10 memorable first date ideas to choose from.

1. Go to a museum 

Try visiting a museum if you want to know what to talk about on a first date and make it memorable. Before choosing this activity, it’s a must that both of you know that you love learning information and history.

2. Go to a karaoke bar

After having dinner and you still have time to spare, have a few beers and sing your hearts out at a karaoke bar. It’s also a delightful way to bond and feel at ease with each other, especially if you both love music. 

3. Play your favorite video games

If you are both a gamer, you can actually spend the day playing your favorite video games at home. Grab some beers, chips, order a pizza, and see who is a better player. It’s cool to have a date with someone who can also be your best friend. 

Related Reading: 20 Long Distance Relationship Games Ideas

4. Volunteer 

While you’ve initially talked to each other, you might have a good idea of the things you have in common. If you both love animals, you can set up a date when the both of you could volunteer at a local shelter.

5. Go hiking

If you’re looking for outdoor and sporty first date ideas that you will surely remember, consider hiking. Choose a route that will suit your current level of physical preparedness and that of your date. Take lots of photos too.

6. Watch a movie under the stars

Had an early dinner date and still want to hang out? This romantic date idea is perfect! You can watch a movie, enjoy the outdoors, and have a memorable evening that will definitely lead to a second date. 

7. Visit a zoo

First dates don’t have to be done at night. If you love animals and nature, schedule a zoo trip, feed some animals and talk about what you love. 

8. Go to a carnival

Aside from knowing what to talk about on a first date, you can also make memories you can talk about on your second date. Go to a carnival, challenge each other to try out rides and spooky haunted houses, and try out their food.

9. Try out an exotic restaurant

If you both love food and are open to trying different cuisines, make your first date memorable by trying out an exotic restaurant. Your first date questions might now involve facts about different cuisines and flavors.

10. Try out specialized tasting

If you both love trying something new, then try out specialized tasting. You can choose wine, cheese, or beer, whatever you want, as long as you both enjoy it.

There can be many ways to make your first date or every date memorable. You can check out 100 first date suggestions that will make your special date extra special.

5 things to avoid talking about on a first date?

While the ones listed above are a few ideas that will help you have a good conversation on your first date, some topics should be off that coffee table. Some of them are listed below. 

Make sure the discussion does not head this way, as it will likely reduce your chances of connecting with your date, and you may even lose out on the possibility of a second date. 

Remember, as important as knowing what to say on the first date, it is also crucial to understand what you should not be saying.

1. Exes

It’s not taboo for established couples or two people courting each other to discuss their past relationships. However, it’s also a subject where one or both of you could step on potential landmines that would send the date to an abrupt end.

Exes are a source of good and bad memories. Good memories will make you jealous, and bad memories will sour your date’s mood. There’s no good side to discussing it on the first date.

Related Reading: Why Do Exes Come Back After Months of Separation

2. Sex

Like exes, it’s something a couple in a relationship will eventually need to talk about, but it’s not something you can easily open up about on a first date. 

Every dating couple has sex on their minds, even on the first date. There is no problem with getting laid on the first date. It’s the third generation since sexual liberation. Any two consenting adults can do what they want, but the topic must be carefully approached.

3. Politics

Political views may be necessary to you, but the person in front of you should be more crucial. Try to know them as a person rather than what their political opinions are. 

Most political discussions can end up in a debate or, worse, a fight, something you do not want to engage in on your first date. Political views, therefore, are not on the list of what to ask on a first date. 

4. Religion

One topic that you should never open up to is religion. Even in couples counseling, a therapist won’t touch this subject in the first session.

Religion is very important to most of us, and most of us are passionate about what we believe in.

Aside from that, we don’t have the same opinion and beliefs. Even if you belong to the same religion, it’s safe not to go to that topic on your first, or even your second, date.

5. Health issues

When you are on your first date, you want to get to know each other, enjoy, and learn interesting things about your date. The last thing that you would want to know is to feel sad and burdened by your chosen topic.

Don’t talk about health issues, illnesses, and treatments. You don’t know how this could affect the person you’re talking to. If you are looking for what to talk about on a first date, this isn’t one of them.

Related Reading: 11 Tips for Mental Health Issues & Loneliness in Marriage

6 first date conversation tips

Apart from the topics of discussion, here are some first-date conversation tips. These first date tips will also help you come across as more confident and charming to your date. 

Make sure you follow these to make a great first impression on your date. 

1. Do not come across as nervous or anxious. You already know the things to say on a first date. Do not think you will mess this up. 
2. Present yourself well. Make sure you dress your best and are groomed well.
3. Speak in a language you are fluent in. It will help you be more confident and also help you articulate your thoughts better.
4. Do not speak while eating, especially when you get too excited. Do not let your nervousness get the better of you. 
5. Do not speak over your date. Let them finish their sentences and stories. 
6. Do not overshare. Remember, this is the first date, and you will have plenty of chances to share serious stories later. Try to keep it fun and light.

Christiana Njoku highlights that:

Never go on a first date without looking your best. Be presentable and leave them with a good first impression of yourself.

FAQs

Let’s discuss the most asked questions about what you should ask on a first date.

Is it okay to kiss on the first date?

This is a common question when it comes to first dates. The answer will depend on your personal preferences. Some people don’t feel comfortable kissing on the first date and would rather wait until the second or third date to feel at ease.

For others, it’s perfectly okay to kiss on the first date. It’s also a way for them to check if they want another date or not.

In the end, it’s up to each person to choose what seems right for them and express their boundaries clearly.

When in doubt, it’s always preferable to be cautious and show respect for your date’s privacy.

Are you ready to date and love? Before going out and dating, make sure you love yourself first. 

Mel Robbins, NY Times Best Selling Author + Award Winning Podcast Host, shares the importance of loving yourself.

Conclusion

Now, learning what to talk about on a first date isn’t that hard anymore, right?

Hopefully, the tips and topics for a first date conversation are enough to get anyone started on a successful first date and turn it into a second, third, and many more. Make sure you stay yourself and try to have a natural, pleasant conversation with your date. 

If you cannot get them to talk to you even after trying to put these ideas to use, they may not have the same vibe.  

Continue exploring this topic

Talk to our Marriage.com AI Relationship Coach

Chat with me, ask questions and get help

Start Chatting

Marriage.com AI: Your Relationship Guide

Talk through what's on your mind.

Automated

Hi, I'm your relationship guide. What's on your mind?

YOU COULD START WITH

What should I ask on a first date?

How to make conversation on a first date?

AI guidance only - not therapy. In crisis? Call a helpline or Find a Therapist

Terms

Marriage.com Editorial Team Relationship & Marriage Advice

The Marriage.com Editorial Team is a group of experienced relationship writers, experts, and mental health professionals. We provide practical and research-backed advice on relationships. Our content is thoroughly reviewed by experts... Read more to ensure that we offer high-quality and reliable relationship advice. Read less

Marriage.com Assessment

What Help Does Your Relationship Need Most Right Now Quiz

Reviewed byJennifer Schulz, LCSW

Backed by relationship science and evidence-based psychology, this assessment helps identify the area of your relationship that deserves the most attention right now, whether things feel strong or slightly off. Research shows that even healthy relat...

Questions: 20 | Last updated: Jan 23, 2026

Sample Question

When you and your partner talk about something important…

We listen with care — even hard talks feel safe and productive

We try to talk, but lately emotional closeness feels harder to reach

I want to be open, but part of me still guards my heart

Our discussions sometimes spiral or end unresolved

It’s hard to feel close because our physical intimacy hasn’t felt strong lately

We often see things differently about goals or priorities

Take the Quiz Now