15 Signs Your Long-Term Relationship Is Over

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When two individuals reveal their love for each other and end up in a relationship, their short-term and long-term efforts will determine whether they will last in the long run. 

If you have been experiencing tough times with your partner, and it looks like an unending loop, something might be wrong with the dynamics of your relationship.

In this article, you will learn the signs your long-term relationship is over. Additionally, you will learn the stages or phases of a relationship that will last in the long term when commitment is present.

What is a long-term relationship?

To answer the question of what is a long term relationship, it is a union between partners that has existed for a long time. In most cases, both partners must have invested commitment, loyalty, intimacy and other factors into making the relationship work and stand the test of time. 

When it comes to a long term relationship meaning, it may end up in marriage, or it might be a lifelong partnership between both parties who may not want the marital ties.

5 stages of a long term relationship

Anyone in a healthy and committed long-term relationship can attest that it takes hard work and commitment to pull through. Hence, if you want to experience a successful union, here are the stages of long term relationships.

1. The merge

The merge phase is often referred to as the honeymoon phase. This is where the overwhelming feelings of romance and passion between partners occur. During this stage, partners wholeheartedly believe that they have found the person of their dreams- someone they can call their perfect match.

They might not set boundaries in this phase because they are so into each other. Most decisions during this phase are based on the hormones responsible for maintaining happiness and infatuation in both parties.

2. Doubt and denial

In the doubt and denial stage, partners begin to notice the behaviors that make them different. During this point, the feelings of infatuation begin to fade off. Some qualities that seemed perfect might begin to look like a façade.

Also, partners may begin to notice each other’s red flags. They would also begin to get disappointed in each other and might start wondering if they made a mistake.

3. Disillusionment

During the disillusionment stage, partners might feel like they are getting to the end of their union. 

Some of the issues they have consistently ignored might now be open. They may invest less commitment and energy in the relationship than they used to. All their romantic past experiences will begin to look like a distant memory.

4. Decision

In the decision stage of a long term relationship, it might begin to look like you’re at your breaking point. Both partners may begin to stay away from each other because they cannot stand being in the same physical space. 

They may start contemplating separating from each other and moving on with their lives. So, they might remain in the relationship and not be happy or try to put in the work to save the union.

Counselor Grady Shumway further adds,

When making long-term relationship decisions, consider factors such as mutual respect, communication, shared values, and emotional support. Reflect on whether the relationship brings out the best in both partners and whether you envision a future together that aligns with your goals and aspirations. Ultimately, prioritize your own happiness and well-being while also considering the needs and desires of your partner for a fulfilling and sustainable relationship.

5. Wholehearted love

In the wholehearted Love phase, this is where partners begin to see the rewards for their commitment and effort. 

At this stage, they have moved beyond their emotions and feelings and are committed to making the relationship work. They know they are not perfect, but they have found a healthy way to complement each other.

In this interesting study by Robyn Parker and Joanne Commerford titled Lasting Couple Relationships, you will see recent research findings that explain how long-term relationships evolve. 

15 signs your long term relationship is over

Not all relationships are bound to last, especially if one party is unwilling to make things work. Sometimes, a long-term relationship might be heading in the wrong direction, but you might not know because you didn’t pay attention to the signs.

Here are some of the signs your long-term relationship is over

1. Communication becomes a chore

One of the signs relationship is ending is when communication with your partner begins to feel like a chore. You and your partner might not feel like talking to each other anymore because there is no more interest. 

If you are in a long-distance relationship, you may not feel like calling or texting your partner. Similarly, if your partner reaches out, you might not be interested in responding to them.

Related Reading: 20 Ways to Improve Communication in a Relationship

2. Constant conflicts

Regular conflicts in a union is one of the signs relationship is ending. 

When you and your partner have constant conflicts that are difficult to resolve, it could mean your long-term relationship is about to end. Also, you and your partner might need more motivation to manage some of these conflicts, which could affect the relationship.

3. Don’t share things with your partner anymore

When you don’t see the need to share some important things with your partner, it might be one of the signs your long-term relationship is over. 

In a healthy and working relationship, partners are always eager to share interesting happenings with one another. But when it gets to the point where you don’t feel like telling them, then a long term relationship breakup might be imminent.

4. No trust in the relationship

When you and your partner experience trust issues in the relationship from time to time, it can weaken the bond between both parties. 

It might get to the point where you and your partner don’t trust each other anymore. Any of you might feel that you are kept in the dark concerning the other person’s actions.

5. You feel drained

Feeling drained when you are still with your partner is one of the signs your long-term relationship is over. 

In a healthy romantic relationship, partners may rarely get tired of staying around each other. However, when it gets to the point that it becomes burdensome to stay around your partner, the love dynamic between the two of you has been distorted.

Watch this video to see the signs your partner is emotionally draining you:

6. You are comfortable keeping things from your partner

When you feel fine not telling your partner some things, breaking up a long-term relationship might be imminent. This means that you may prefer to tell other people in your life some things that are going on. 

But if you think of telling your partner, the idea does not look good because you need to figure out what to expect. Similarly, you might not be interested in hearing important things from your partner.

7. No show of romance, love and care

If the romance and love in your relationship have reduced drastically, it is one of the signs your relationship is over. 

You and your partner may not be interested in making each other happy because the union does not appeal to you. If a relationship is to remain on the right track, one of the ways to make this happen is to show love and care to your partner.

8. You find excuses not to spend time with your partner

When it gets to the point that you are not interested in spending quality time with your partner or vice versa, it might be one of the signs your long-term relationship is over. 

You may notice that either of you will keep bringing up different excuses for why you cannot be together in the same physical space. 

For instance, you or your partner might use work as an excuse to stay away from home for a long time.

9. There is no futuristic view of the relationship

In a relationship where two partners are putting in efforts to make things work, both share a future in mind. 

If you and your partner have no futuristic view of the union, it is one of the signs your long-term relationship is over. It means the two of you are concerned about surviving the present instead of thinking about the future.

10. No desire to grow with your partner

When there is interest to grow with your partner so that you can become the best version of yourselves, then ending a long-term relationship might be inevitable. 

Partners in relationships are to motivate each other to achieve their set goals in different aspects of their lives. But if none of them has not shown interest in doing that with each other, the relationship might be coming to an end.

11. You fantasize about having other partners

Sometimes, when you are in a healthy relationship, it might seem normal to see other people and just admire them for different reasons like beauty, work ethic, stature, etc. This admiration doesn’t turn into something else because you are in a committed relationship. 

However, when it gets to the point where you see yourself in a relationship with someone who is not your partner, it might be one of the signs your long-term relationship is over.

12. There is no respect for each other in the relationship

When respect is lost in a relationship, it can be hard to rebuild again, except if both partners are intentional about this. 

If you and your partner don’t have respect for each other, the long-term relationship might not last for as long as expected. Similarly, if both of you have differing opinions about each other’s values, then it could mean that you are incompatible.

13. You don’t think of calling them in emergencies

If you don’t think of reaching out to your partner in the face of emergencies, it might be one of the signs your long-term relationship is over. 

When you have emergencies, and you prefer to call your family and friends before thinking of your partner, it might mean that you don’t depend on them like before.

14. It’s hard to compromise on anything

One of the highlights of a healthy relationship is that partners can be willing to compromise on some things to make the union work and to make each other happy. 

In comparison, if you are wondering when a relationship is over, it could also mean that both parties are not ready to compromise. Each person probably wants to stand their ground without considering the other individual in the relationship.

15. Your partner does not meet your needs

If your partner does not prioritize meeting your needs, it is one thing to consider when ending a long-term relationship. Your partner might need to focus more on their needs to pay attention to yours. 

For instance, if your emotional needs are not being met, your partner’s actions might push you to the point where you begin to consider leaving the relationship.

In this book by Judith Kuriansky titled The Complete Idiot’s Guide to a Healthy Relationship, you will understand how to make your long-term relationship successful. You will also learn the signs of an unhealthy long-term relationship in this insightful book. 

Some commonly asked questions

A long-term relationship can, unfortunately, end in a way that often leaves people needing clarification. Here are some questions that can give you clarity surrounding this

• What can make long term relationships break up?

Some reasons that can make age-long relationships break up are lack of trust and respect, absence of quality time, regular conflicts, poor communication, etc.

To understand more about how breakups happen, read this study by Ankit Chandra and Pragyan Paramita Parija titled The Love-Breakup study. This research helps to define love and explore reasons for the breakup of romantic relationships.

• At what point does a relationship end?

One point that tells you a relationship has ended is when there is no emotional connection between both parties. None of them will see the need to be vulnerable with each other. Another sign is when there is a communication breakdown in the relationship.

Final takeaway

When you affirm any of the signs your long-term relationship is over, it might be best to communicate with your partner so that you can make it official. 

If you and your partner are still willing to make things work despite some of these signs still present, then you can see a relationship therapist for help.