20 Shocking Signs You Mean Nothing To Him

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It’s concerning when the love of your life starts acting strangely. Does he seem to be always somewhere else when you’re with him? Perhaps he’s even downright rude. The signs you mean nothing to him can start subtly. They might not be visible initially, but they can still be real. It would be best if you now decided whether you’re wasting your time.

What do you do when you mean nothing to someone? 

It isn’t just your craving to beat loneliness. We all need relationships for a sense of belonging and fulfillment. Both scientists and psychologists have now proven that relationships help us navigate this world, as detailed by a lead therapist. With the right partner, you can grow and face your fears with courage. 

So, when you see the signs you mean nothing to him, it’s important to refocus your energy. Of course, the first approach is to attempt communication and reconciliation where relevant. If this looks like a dead-end, these steps might allow you to discover what you should do next. 

1. Connect with yourself and recharge 

When you realize you mean nothing to someone, it’s natural to want to confront them. This can usually go two ways. Either they’ll let you know their inner struggles. Alternatively, they’ll shut you out and dismiss you. 

If the signs you mean nothing to him come up, such as anger and dismissiveness, take time out for your self-care. There are different types of self care, as explained by a wellness coach, whether physical, emotional, or mental, among others. It would be best if you chose the right balance across each area for you.

2. Nurture your support network 

It’s devastating if you wake up one day and realize you’re with someone who has nothing to offer in a relationship. At that moment, it’s vital to connect with your wider group of friends and family. You’ll be dealing with challenging emotions, and you need a boost to your resilience. 

Research is still ongoing about resilience. Regardless, it’s an accepted and proven fact that relationships of any kind make you happier and more resilient. This article on how social support makes you more resilient goes into more detail to help you when you spot the signs you mean nothing to him.  

3. Know yourself 

Dating a man who has nothing to offer is mentally and emotionally exhausting. It might crush your self-esteem and leave you doubting yourself in every aspect of your life. Instead, you can rise above the signs you mean nothing to him.

Building your self-esteem could take time because it’s based on your inner beliefs about yourself. Nevertheless, you can do some work on your own before you even consider a therapist. Try one or several of some of the best self-esteem worksheets and activities. 

20 shocking signs you mean nothing to him

The signs you mean nothing to him aren’t just shocking. They’re destabilizing. Essentially, someone you’ve put your trust and faith into is betraying you. Although, it’s worth remembering that any of these signs in isolation could mean he’s distracted and worried about something.

Nevertheless, if you’re experiencing several of these signs, it could be time to reassess your relationship:

1. Dismissive

It’s a horrible feeling when someone looks down on you and doesn’t seem to care about what’s going on with you. They almost shrug you off if you try to show any signs of intimacy.

Sadly, this could be more than just the signs you mean nothing to him. 

Some people bear the burden of various childhood issues and develop certain attachment styles. For example, you can read more about the dismissive-avoidant type in the Attachment Project article. 

Related Reading: Avoidant Attachment Style – Defination, Types & Treatment

2. Devalues you

Sometimes the signs he has nothing to offer become about you. Of course, it isn’t fair, but it’s much easier to make problems about someone else. This means that in some cases, he’ll be rude to you, particularly in front of others. 

In other situations, he might make you feel smaller by using an arrogant or even passive-aggressive tone. Most telling is that he ignores your texts and messages for days. 

3. Ignores you

Deep down, people know when they have nothing to offer in a relationship. Sometimes this makes them lash out at you. Other times, they do everything they can to not be in the same room as you. 

One of the biggest signs you mean nothing to him is that he also only ever calls when he’s got nothing better to do. He might even ramble on about, say, motorbikes that you are not interested in. 

Related Reading: 15 Things to Do When a Guy Ignores You After an Argument

4. Uses you for sex

When someone wants nothing to do with you, they can still be thrilled to use you for sex. Naturally, not everyone is like that. Regardless, you’ll recognize that sinking feeling when you get a drunken phone call in the middle of the night. 

5. Imbalanced goals 

Fulfilling relationships are based on trust and mutual growth. When one partner gets the upper hand, discontent starts brewing away. That’s why dating a man who has nothing to offer will eat you up from the inside. 

Instead, you want to find mutuality where both partners have something to gain from each other. This is about co-creating shared dreams and goals. Both should feel equal and valued otherwise, you’ll soon start seeing the signs you mean nothing to him. 

6. No curiosity

Clear signs you’re just an option to him are that he isn’t interested in you or what’s going on with you. He won’t ask questions about how your day was or remember your big work projects. He won’t remember any details, and you’re left almost as if someone just kicked you in the stomach. 

We all want to feel valued and loved. Yes, sometimes that means forgetting ourselves for a moment and caring for someone. Nevertheless, sometimes that means we come first and are listened to. 

Related Reading: How Can Curious Questioning and Deep Listening Lead to Love?

7. Emotional disconnect 

Signs you mean nothing to him aren’t just physical. You’ll also see him shut in on himself. Whereas before, you might have had deep and meaningful conversations, now all talk of feelings has stopped.

Nowadays, you might find him pulling away when you get closer or, even worse, getting up and walking away. Moreover, he can’t seem to express his emotions and gets all defensive if you try to talk to him about the change you’ve noticed. 

Watch this video to know how to deal with an emotionally unavailable partner:

8. Demands favors 

One of the clear signs you mean nothing to him is that he happily takes from you all the time but gives nothing back. It might sound like a cliché from the 1900s, but it can still happen today. 

Even if you make excuses to yourself about him, in your gut, you know that something’s wrong and the balance isn’t right. We often try to justify behaviors, especially when we’ve been with someone for some time, but it doesn’t change your gut feeling.  

9. Overlooks your needs 

When someone wants nothing to do with you, they’ll ignore your needs. The obvious one is the need for open communication. A close second is a need for intimacy as well as the need to be understood. 

You’re sensing the distance between you two, but you feel stranded. 

10. Limited affection

Signs you’re just an option to him often revolve around lack of closeness. Without intimacy, you’re denying yourself the whole experience of the relationship. This isn’t just about physical closeness, and it’s also about emotional connection. 

As this counselor explains in her article on whether a relationship can survive without intimacy, we need intimacy to bind us. Without it, we become two people thrown together with nothing to share. 

11. Indirect communication

Some of the common signs you mean something to him are that he shares his feelings and openly communicates with you. In contrast, he can be passive-aggressive and repeat that everything is okay when something is off. 

People are often passive-aggressive when they fear what might happen if they share the truth. Perhaps he’s scared of your reaction if he tells you something’s wrong with the relationship? Either way, it’s more about them than about you. 

When you experience indirect communication, there’s usually an underlying fear or insecurity. The impact on you is such that you also start doubting yourself. 

Related Reading: Passive Aggressive Behavior Traits

12. Doesn’t include you 

He might not come out with the honest phrase, “you don’t mean anything to me,” but the signs you mean nothing to him are clear. Either he’s always now going out with his friends without inviting you or simply ignoring your messages. 

If your gut is telling you he’s treating you like an option for when he’s bored, the chances are you’re right. It’s perfectly normal to want time alone with friends, but when this becomes the norm, you can start looking at your options. 

13. No longer the confidante

Signs he has nothing to offer can be when he also doesn’t ask you for advice anymore. It’s natural for people to pull away when they start feeling guilty for always taking from you. 

Relationships have ups and downs, but when people care about each other, they talk about the downs. Together they find a way forward. Signs you mean nothing to him are when he doesn’t talk and gives up. 

14. Inconsistent 

The classic hot and cold that most of us have experienced at some point or other are apparent signs you mean nothing to him. Moreover, it’s incredibly frustrating not knowing where you stand with someone. 

Then again, it might not be the best idea to ask him directly, “do I mean anything to you?” Of course, you want to talk to him and check-in, but you don’t want to sound aggressive or as if you’re blaming him. 

Instead, a simple first question could be to ask him where he thinks the relationship is going. 

Related Reading: Consistency in Relationships: What It Means, and Why It’s Important

15. Reminisces about exes 

It’s good to know each other’s history but only up to a point. One of the sure signs you mean nothing to him is when he can’t stop raving about his exes. In that case, he misses them more than you, even though you’re right there. 

16. Avoids discussing the future 

The future is always a good clue for the signs you mean nothing to him. When someone is treating you as an option to bide time, the future doesn’t even occur to them. And if it does, they definitely won’t be planning it with you in it.

Related Reading: A Couple’s Guide to Financially Preparing for the Future Together

17. No effort with friends and family

When someone wants nothing to do with you, it’s usually very clear from how they treat your friends and family. Someone who cares wants to know about your past, even what you were like as a child. 

On the flip side, signs you mean nothing to him are that he’s too busy thinking and talking about something else. 

18. Forgets important occasions 

We all forget things sometimes, but when this is a frequent occurrence, they’re not interested enough to even try to remember. Essentially, when someone wants nothing to do with you, they don’t have the headspace for any details about you and your life. 

Related Reading: 20 Eye-Opening Signs He Pretends to Love You

19. Responds poorly to feedback 

Any of these signs you mean nothing to him could indicate that something has upset him or that he feels destabilized. You want to talk to him first and avoid jumping to conclusions. 

You can work things out together if he starts opening up to you. On the other hand, if he shuts down, you could be heading to those words you don’t want to hear, “you don’t mean anything to me.” Sometimes we have to face reality, though hard as it might be.

20. Constantly angry 

When people struggle to communicate their needs, including breaking up a relationship, their frustration can turn to anger. They’re already on edge, and you could push them over by asking directly, “do I mean anything to you.”

Although painful, it’s usually better to know the truth than to keep second-guessing someone. You can then decide to stop wasting your time. 

What’s next for you? 

When you realize you mean nothing to someone, you first need to reconnect with yourself and solidify your self-esteem. This is a journey of self-discovery and self-care, often worked through with a therapist to ground you. 

You also owe it to the relationship to at least communicate with him and try to resolve the issue together. Of course, it’s perfectly possible to reignite relationships and rediscover signs you mean something to him. Only you can tell what’s the right next step for you.