20 Signs She is Pretending to Love You

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Experiencing unrequited or one-sided love can be difficult and painful. Unfortunately, being in an unhealthy relationship can have adverse effects on your mental health, including, Increased stress and anxiety. It can also lead to feelings of uncertainty, insecurity, and fear.

It is important to remember that love is a two-way street, and it is not healthy to pursue someone who is not interested in you. So, you must know all the signs she is pretending to love you.

20 signs she is pretending to love you

It is important to remember that everyone expresses their feelings differently and that actions speak louder than words. It is not always easy to know if someone cares for you, so it’s best to know how to tell if someone is pretending to love you.

Here are some signs she is pretending to love you:

1. She is not excited to see you

If you feel your partner is not as excited to see you, it could be a sign that she doesn’t love you. When you love somebody, you will be eager to spend time with them and express that love. 

However, it’s important to remember that people’s feelings can change over time and that other factors may be at play. It’s always best to talk openly with your partner, and if the lack of excitement persists, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist.

Related Reading: 4 Keys to Add Spice and Excitement in an Intimate Relationship

2. She doesn’t talk about the future

If your partner gets weird about or won’t commit to future plans, it could be a sign that she is not fully committed to the relationship. 

It’s essential to have an open and honest communication with her about your feelings and concerns. Some people may be more cautious about making plans or committing to the future and may need more time to feel secure in the relationship.

3. She avoids physical contact

Physical touch is an important part of any relationship; it can help to convey emotions, intimacy, and affection. Avoiding physical contact is one of the signs she doesn’t love you.

They could also have personal issues or past experiences that make them uncomfortable with physical touch. So before jumping to conclusions, it is best to go to couples counseling to evaluate the relationship.

Related Reading: 11 Stages of Physical Intimacy in a New Relationship

4. You are not a priority to her

This is one of the common signs she is pretending to love you. If your partner doesn’t prioritize you, then you might need to re-evaluate your relationship. If you are not a priority in someone’s life, it means they don’t care about you. 

5. She acts moody and distant

Pretending to love someone is easier said than done. Your girlfriend’s moodiness and distance may be a sign of issues in your relationship. Her behavior around you is an excellent indicator of her feelings toward you. 

Yes, we all have good and bad days, but being with your partner should help you unwind and relax. After all, research shows that when you’re in love, the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin interact with your dopamine system, making you feel happy.

6. She doesn’t make plans to spend time with you

If your partner never initiates meetings with you, it could signify that she is not as invested in the relationship as you are. 

If you genuinely love someone, you will want to spend every waking moment with them. You won’t always wait for them to plan a date, but you will go the extra mile to initiate plans.  

Related Reading: 11 Ways to Spend Some Quality Time With Your Partner

7. She doesn’t care about your feelings

Is it possible to genuinely care for someone and ignore their feelings? The answer is no, of course. It can take a toll on your mental health and can be extremely frustrating, having a partner that cares little for you.

When your partner ignores your feelings and doesn’t care about your needs or happiness, she might pretend to love you.

8. She disrespects you

If she doesn’t respect you, then there is a great chance she is pretending to love you. Respect is an important aspect of any relationship. If someone does not respect you, it can make you feel devalued. 

Disrespect is one of the signs she never loved you.

9. She doesn’t compliment you

A woman who never compliments you doesn’t have genuine feelings toward you. We all love to be complimented; it makes us feel good and know that our efforts are appreciated.

If she doesn’t notice your good qualities or fails to say nice things about you, then this is one of the signs she is pretending to love you.

Related Reading: How to Compliment a Girl- 15+ Best Compliments for Girls

10. You always catch her in a lie

Lying is a major red flag in any relationship, as it undermines trust and integrity. Telling little or big lies can indicate that the person is not being honest and transparent with you and that they may be hiding something.

This may not necessarily mean she doesn’t love you, so it is best to have an honest conversation with them before taking the next step.

11. She hardly says “I love you”

If your partner only says “I love you” when prompted or after you say it first, it may indicate that they have a different level of commitment or feeling in the relationship. 

If you feel that your partner’s response is not meeting your needs, it is best to have a conversation with them to have a deeper understanding of their feelings.

12. Her action says otherwise

Are you looking for signs she doesn’t love you anymore? Then watch her actions. It is easy to spin lies and tell somebody what they want to hear; the hard part is acting out the lie. 

So, if you aren’t sure your partner loves you, pay close attention to their actions and how they act towards you compared to the rest of their friends. 

If they rather spend time with their friends instead of you or never go out of their way to make you happy, then she is pretending to love you. After all, love creates a sense of oneness between romantic partners, expressed through proximity seeking and maintenance, concern, and compassion.

13. You do all the chasing in the relationship

It is not healthy to do all the chasing in a relationship. A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and communication.

If you find yourself doing all the chasing in your relationship, it may be a sign that the other person is not as invested in the relationship as you are.

14. She indirectly tells you she is not interested

If someone is not interested in you, they may give you indirect hints or signals rather than directly telling you. These signals can include avoiding you, being unavailable to meet or talk, not responding to your messages or calls, or not showing interest in what you say.

15. She constantly cancels plans

Life can get in the way of our plans, but a partner that loves you will always try to keep their commitment. It can be frustrating and disheartening if your partner is constantly flaking on plans.

So if she is always giving excuses and canceling plans, It could be a sign that she doesn’t care about you or respect your time.

16. She tells you directly that she doesn’t love you

If your partner tells you directly and in words that she is not interested, it’s important to take her at her word and respect her feelings.

It can be challenging to hear that someone you love is not interested in you, but the knowledge is also liberating. Knowing the truth is better than pretending to be happy in a relationship.

Related Reading: 200 Ways to Say “I Love You”

17. She rarely checks on you

So how often does your girl call you to check up on you, or are you the one always reaching out to her? A relationship is a two-way street; only one person cannot do all the work.

Constantly checking on a partner is one way to show care and concern in a relationship. If your partner does not consistently check on you, it could be a sign that she doesn’t love you.

18. You don’t know her friends

If your partner hasn’t introduced you to anyone in her world, it could be a sign that she is not fully committed to the relationship or ready to take the next step.

A reluctance to introduce you to her friends is not a clear sign that she doesn’t love you. This depends on how long you have been dating. So, consider the stage of your relationship, give her some time to open up, and be patient.

19. She never invests in the relationship

If someone does not intentionally invest in a relationship, it may mean they are not fully committed or invested in the partnership. This can manifest in several ways, such as not making plans together, not showing interest in your life or interests, or not putting effort into resolving conflicts.

20. She flirts with other men

This is one of the common signs she is pretending to love you. If someone is doing “sketchy” things with other men, such as flirting or hiding their actions, it can be a sign that they are not fully committed to the relationship.

This behavior can also indicate that the person is not being faithful or honest with you

What to do when you think she is pretending to love you?

Knowing whether someone truly loves you or pretends to feel that way can be difficult. If you suspect someone is pretending to love you, you can take certain steps to determine their feelings.

1. Communicate your feelings

Talk to her about your concerns and let her know how you feel. Ask her to be honest with you about her feelings.

Grady Shumway, LMHC, says

Effective communication of feelings involves first identifying and acknowledging your emotions, then expressing them clearly and directly to the other person using ‘I’ statements. It’s important to be honest and authentic while also considering the impact of your words on the other person, fostering empathy and understanding in the conversation.

2. Take a step back

Sometimes, taking a break from the relationship can help you clarify the situation. Use this time to reflect on your feelings and determine if the relationship is healthy.

3. Seek outside perspective

Go for counseling or talk to a trusted friend or family member about your concerns and ask for their advice. This video discusses the benefits of relationship counseling

4. Trust your gut

If something feels off, it’s important to trust your instincts. If you strongly feel that she’s pretending to love you, it’s worth exploring the issue further.

5. Be prepared for the worst

If it turns out she is pretending to love you, be prepared to move on. Knowing the truth and finding someone who loves you is better than living a lie.

Grady Shumway says,

Preparing for a challenging situation involves acknowledging and validating your emotions about the upcoming difficulty while also focusing on building resilience and coping strategies to navigate it effectively. Remember to prioritize self-care and seek support from trusted individuals or professionals to help you through the process.

FAQs

Moving on from a relationship based on “fake love” can be challenging, as it can leave you feeling hurt and betrayed. However, moving on and finding a healthy and fulfilling relationship is possible.

How do I move on from fake love?

Instead of dwelling on things you can’t change and wondering why someone would pretend to love you, you should focus on the future. Focus on how to heal!

Here are some steps that may help you heal and move on from a relationship, especially one that was based on deception:

– Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and the feelings you had for the person.

– Reflect on what you learned from the experience and how you can use that knowledge to make better choices in the future.

– Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who will listen to you and help you through this difficult time.

– Consider seeking therapy to help you work through your emotions and better understand what happened.

– Focus on self-care, such as exercising, eating well, and getting enough sleep, to help boost your physical and emotional well-being.

– Give yourself time to heal, but also make sure to actively work on moving forward and not dwelling on the past.

– Remember, healing is a process, and it takes time. Be patient and kind to yourself as you work through your feelings and emotions.

Takeaway

It can be difficult to tell if someone is genuinely interested in you or if they are just pretending. If you have concerns about someone’s feelings towards you, go through the signs she is pretending to love you above to know where they stand.

You can also have an open and honest conversation with them about it. If you aren’t satisfied with her answer, you can suggest going to couples counseling before taking any drastic steps.